Cheri

I don't know where you find that information from that partners spanks their partners in the same kind of discipline as parents would discipline their child.

Adults do spanking onto each others because they like it, it's part of their fantasy activity. On the other hand it has nothing to do with this thread about children discipline. Let's please stay on topic shall we?

Anyway children being spanked does not cause serious physical harm does not include reasonable and age-appropriate spanking to the buttocks where there is no evidence of serious physical injury.

so therefore I feel that spanking is a reasonable disciplinary, not an abuse.

__________________

Deafness

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

Liebling:-)))

Don´t worry, I do forgive you...

Yes, it´s normal that we forget sometimes... Yeah, not you but me, too... WE getting old... Yes, I do forget sometimes but it´s good when anyone fresh my memory

__________________

*sniffing you*

Liebling:-)))

[quote]Really? You said this yourself, not me. Question is harmless and accusation is harmful. It´s not my problem if you don´t want to see it.

wow, I am beginning to see that you play favoritism. It tell alot. You denied that I never say anything about children´s accident as a child abuse. I say no more further. Your post is good enough to prove yourself that you play favoritsim.


What you beleive is fine. I cannot say anything against your view because it´s your POV.

Anyway we entitle our own POV and beleive what we see, period.

It´s okay for you but perhaps not others.


This is your opinion.

I do not see that you made your opinion to quote my post but attacked my post to defend Cheri. If you disagree with my post toward Cheri then you are welcome to quote my post to tell me what you think INSTEAD of defend Cheri against me.

Don´t play innoncent because you OFTEN made unfair posts yourself. Quit to play innoncent to claim that you had an opinion about my post.

Quit to play innoncent. You DID read Cheri´s answer to correct my question then 30 minutes later then you attacked me for her. *shake my head sadly*

Anyway, can we get move on and then go back to this topic.?

__________________

*sniffing you*

Liebling:-)))

[quote]I do not made because its about spanking.

Child psychologist Theresa Whitehurst said, "When a husband does it to a wife, the very same act is considered domestic violence. And when you hit a child, what's the difference?"

ABC News: Jail Time for Spanking Kids?





This is your opinion as the same as I have mine. You beleive what you learn and I also beleive what I learn as well.

Anyway, you beleive that spanking is a reasonable disciplinary which I doesn´t. I beleive that spanking could cause damage physically, emotionally and mentally to a child. I was spanked as a child and I really didn't learn anything from it. All I learned was to fear my parents!!!

Anyway it doesn´t mean that you are wrong that´s just because we have different views to use form of discipline on our children. I know we have different mentality and grow up in different cultures what and how we see and beleive.

This link support my view.
Spanking Undermines Discipline - Loving Alternatives - by Pam Leo

__________________

*sniffing you*

Cheri

It has nothing to do with favoritism, You said on the previous page that "When you get hurt then is an abuse" the word 'hurt' can be misleading, children do get hurt by accidents they did upon themselves, so is that an abuse? this is what I was pointing out to you, sometimes you have to be careful how you wording out your words on a post because it can lead the confusing of others included myself.

__________________

Liebling:-)))

[quote]*shake my head sadly* It´s Reba, I am referring to because she is the one who attacked my post. Now I see myself that you defend Reba because Reba defended you. *shake my head sadly*







I do not see anything that I made a misleading post and also do not see anything that we talked about children´s accident when I quoted to question GarnetTigerMom. What I questioned her is not because we talked about spanking subject.

http://www.alldeaf.com/877084-post28.html

http://www.alldeaf.com/877415-post39.html

You are the one who brought children´s accident up to compare with child abuse because I said "hurt" You should know the logical when GarnetTigerMom & I quoted each other and talk about only spanking, not children´s accident.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Cheri

Hun, I'm not even defending Reba, nor do I see her attacking you? I do have an opinion of my own, she was only stating the obvious. please don't take it personal.

Instead of saying "When you get hurt then is an abuse" You should have came across with a better sentence as "When you got spanked did it hurt? if yes, then that's an abuse" see the differences? there's no point of arguing about it, not everyone sees the same as you.

__________________

Liebling:-)))

I can see that you deny my post, Cheri. You know an exactly what GarnetTigerMom & I quoted each other over that subject "spanking", not children´s accident because it doesn´t relate this thread here. We do not made post, period.

It has nothing do with her opinion because she DID read your post to correct my question and 30 minutes later then attacked me that´s because she don´t like my post toward you. This is so. If she disagree something then quoted my post to debate with me in neutral way instead of defend you. This is a difference.

__________________

*sniffing you*

GalaxyAngel

~ PEACE FLAG IS HERE PLEASE... *SWING THE FLAG*

__________________

Parent's proud our children.

Reba

Let me get this straight.

If you side with someone, that's called "support."

If I side with someone, it's called "favoritism."

If you have noticed, I often support and applaud people who make good points even though we normally don't agree. Also, there are times when some of us who normally agree will disagree. It has nothing to do with "favoritism."


It's more than just my belief. Other ADers have also posted how they were spanked as children and they didn't grow up angry, rebellious and criminal.

I also believe what I see, and I don't see millions of people becoming angry, rebellious criminals just because their parents spanked them.


Take a poll, and you'll find out.


I don't think I'm the only person who finds it very insulting to imply that people who spank their children are also spouse abusers.


Sister, if you think that was an attack, you haven't seen me in action.


[quote]Quit to play innoncent. You DID read Cheri´s answer to correct my question then 30 minutes later then you attacked me for her.[quote]
You have no idea when I compose my posts. I often start a reply, get interrupted or need to look up something, and then finish it later, then submit.


Go for it.

shel90

[quote=Reba;878706]Let me get this straight.

If you side with someone, that's called "support."

If I side with someone, it's called "favoritism."

If you have noticed, I often support and applaud people who make good points even though we normally don't agree. Also, there are times when some of us who normally agree will disagree. It has nothing to do with "favoritism."



It's more than just my belief. Other ADers have also posted how they were spanked as children and they didn't grow up angry, rebellious and criminal.

I also believe what I see, and I don't see millions of people becoming angry, rebellious criminals just because their parents spanked them.



Take a poll, and you'll find out.



I don't think I'm the only person who finds it very insulting to imply that people who spank their children are also spouse abusers.



Sister, if you think that was an attack, you haven't seen me in action.


[quote]Quit to play innoncent. You DID read Cheri´s answer to correct my question then 30 minutes later then you attacked me for her.My husband says the same thing...LOL!

__________________
~Shel~

Liebling:-)))

[quote]I consider your post as a favoritism:

Your own word
"Cheri never said it was OK for a "partner" to strike a woman. Where did you get that idea?"

then again your own word
"I still stand by my post that Cheri never said or implied anything about accepting men disciplining women like children."

The same thing that I never said about children's accident as child abuse so I asked you - my own word "Anyway, why didn´t you said anything to Cheri that I never said or implied anything about children´s accident as child abuse?"

All what you said is your last word is "Because Cheri was right."

Is it fair?







[quote]This is favoritism.

This is not favoritism.

I do not see anything that I claimed that ADers grow up angry, rebellious and criminal.

Really?

Legal Adult Violence
Stop the Rod

Arguments against corporal punishment

Read this Argument #2, #6 #7 #9
ChildAdvocate.org - 10 Pro-Corporal Punishment Arguments and 10 Commonsense Answers

No, it's not neccassary because I know some ADers's ranted/vented posts over their bad experiences with parents in the past in different threads since 2004. Yes they stated that they suffered low esteem, despression, emotional, physical, drinking, etc. They accept their knowledge that they suffered but one thing is I am total surprised to see some ADers posted in several spanking threads and support spanking and use those word "I was spanked." (fact) "I'm fine." (opinion)" because I know their past posts. I kept quiet and said nothing.


Argument #3: "I HAVE to use corporal punishment, nothing else works!" (or "Time Outs don’t work!")

Answer: True discipline is about developing a trusting, mutually respectful relationship between child and caretaker. To inflict pain on a child as a means of control is a lazy way out of the work it takes to help a child understand and internalize proper behavior. If you have used corporal punishment on your child, it will take time and effort for new methods to work. Years of negative patterns can't be erased overnight with a simple solution. Nagging, yelling, threatening, controlling and punishing must stop before an effective relationship can be built and your child can trust you and understand the consequences of his/her behavior. People who use the argument "I’ve tried everything and nothing else works" often reveal that they haphazardly tried several techniques learned in various books, without actually committing to or following through consistently with one approach. The result is an unorganized set of chaotic rules or consequences that change often and confuse the child... and make the adult appear out of control. People dissatisfied with their lack of success with "time outs" tend to use "time out" in a punitive manner. These people may expect a tantruming child to comply with sitting in a designated chair for a set amount of minutes. This punitive method of "time out" generates powers struggles rather than compliance. A more effective method is to direct the child to quiet room in which to calm down, then allowing the child to rejoin you when he or she expresses readiness. There need be no time limit or nagging. The number of brief time outs can be increased until the child understands that he or she must regain control of him/herself. As an adult, how do you deal with adults who you can't seem to gain cooperation from? Do you hit your boss, employee, spouse or best friend when it appears that "nothing else works"?

ChildAdvocate.org - 10 Pro-Corporal Punishment Arguments and 10 Commonsense Answers

Anyway, please read through from Argument #1 to Argument #10

In fact, children who are physically punished have been consistently found to have higher rates of aggression, juvenile delinquency and disrespect for authority- the very behaviors people want to prevent in children! Instead, children who have strong, loving role models, receive consistent guidance, firm limits, opportunities for democratic communication, logical consequences and positive, non-punitive discipline are more likely to manifest self discipline, critical thinking skills, personal accountability, good social skills and respect and concern for others. A child who is hit, smacked, spanked, paddled and hurt learns to be do the same.


My comparison between children/partner's hurt by the parents and spouse/partner's hand was being denied and claim that my comparison is a which it's not because I am not only one who compared them.

The parents can teach children that there are consequences for not following the rules without spanking them.


Attack and Criticize are the same thing. This post, you made toward me is not belongs agree to disagree or opinion.


Good

__________________

*sniffing you*

Reba

Wah, wah, go tell mommy!


You stated that children who are spanked will turn out angry, rebellious, and criminal. Many ADer's were spanked as children, so that includes us.


Did they suffer all that from normal spanking, or from abuse and neglect? The experiences that I read all told about awful abuse, not occassional swats on the behind.


It is true that many ADer's (including myself) turned out fine. Why do you doubt that?


Yeah, that describes me and Hubby (and many others) to a T. NOT!


Guess what? Parents who spank also use the above methods. Spanking is just one more method, not the only method that parents use.


Really? Then I guess you just attacked me.

Liebling:-)))

[quote]
See? *shake my head sadly*


You fingerpointed ADers as an example, not me. I only pointed out about children in general and my own experience and also links, not use ADers as an example.


It´s spanking, I am referring to, not what you mentioned above. It´s not just physical and neglect but also spanking including, too. I guess that you miss it.

spanking (1)
Definition:

beating on buttocks: a beating with the flat of the hand on somebody's buttocks, given as punishment

spanking (1) definition - Dictionary - MSN Encarta


OR

slap

Definition:

1. transitive verb hit somebody with open hand: to hit somebody or something with an open hand or flat object

slapping definition - Dictionary - MSN Encarta[/color]


You do not consider spanking as child abuse but correct their behavior when the parents beat/hit their child and causes bodily injury with their hand? Right?

The parents may have loved their children but they still beat and hit them. This is a fact.

I fail to understand why hurt a child is acceptable but hurt a spouse (for example) isn't. Why do parents have a right to hurt their children? As adults, if anyone hits us, then is an assault. Why have the people allows to hurt small children? Yes, the children deserve more protection from physical assault than adults do, not less!!!!

My point was that your experience of being spanked as a child led you to believe that it's OK to hit a child. This is a fact.

I have no doubt.

Oh I see, that the links, I provided are being ignored and denied...

Just attacked you? Huh? See yourself what you are saying here? wow... You denied to defend yourself that you criticized my post for Cheri, not debate with agree to disagree.

Your post show that you don´t want to admit that you did a favoristim and criticized (attacked) my post to defend Cheri.

I often admit when I realized that I made mistakes but you? wow!

*shake my head*

__________________

*sniffing you*

GarnetTigerMom

Some people say that spanking is child abuse. Other people say that spanking is necessary. My parents spanked me and I turned out okay. Whether or not to spank their child is a tough call many new parents face when their angelic babies turn into limits-testing toddlers. While some parents don't see a problem with giving their little ones a pat or smack on the bottom, others think spanking should be avoided.

Discipline literally means to teach or instruct; usually referring to helping children learn self-direction and self-control. When parents speak of discipline, however, they often mean punishment — corporal punishment. More than 90 percent of parents report that they spank their children at least occasionally. Most parents were spanked when they were children. Spanking is often used to stop an undesirable behavior and hopefully to change future behavior.

Most studies have concluded that spanking, even when initially successful, decreases in effectiveness with subsequent use. It becomes less effective as children get older. Dealing with tantrums can feel bad, for everyone involved. Misbehavior in a public place is tough. Parenting with wisdom and control during such a time is tougher. Responding in a healthy way turns the situation around and takes us to a place where we feel like we did the right thing - and that really does feel good.

Everybody have different perspective on the spanking controversy, Spanking is not only potentially harmful to both parent and child, they say, but it also just doesn't work. While hitting provides a short-term fix, it creates long-term problems. Children who are spanked, these experts argue, are more likely to be aggressive, become withdrawn, or have behavior problems when they go to school. Repeatedly hitting a child with the intent of causing pain sounds like abuse to me. Hitting a child with belts or paddles could easily turn into abuse.

__________________


GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Liebling:-)))

Interesting link

10 REASONS NOT TO HIT YOUR CHILD

SPANKING


CNN - Study: Spanking kids leads to long-term bad behavior - August 14, 1997

Is your child at risk of smoking? - FamilyEducation.com

__________________

*sniffing you*

Cheri

You lists does not even match to some of us because we did not say we only uses the spanking method to discipline our children, we uses other methods of disciplines too. This link is only for those who commonly spanks their children on a daily basis.

__________________

PowerON

no pain!
no gain!

__________________
• [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] •
Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!