To divorced parents of Deaf kids

Fabian · 03-24-2006, 01:25 PM

I posted this at another thread but I think it wasn't the right one untill I checked this section so I am posting it here as well.

In most cases YES, the divorce main cause is the current health status of the child, however from my experience ( My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and I was born Deaf), the real cause is not the child but how a parent is willing to support the kid in the future. Let's face it, a parent love their children, and the mother love to their child can be described as unconditional love, it hurts when a parent get the new of their child deafness but let me tell you something, does it hurts more knowing that you did not supported your child when you could? Is never too late and to those parents of Deaf children, your child is smart and healthy, he lack hearing but he does not lack knowlogde, he does not have a learning disorder, he does not have a mental issue, he is in fact normal. Communication is the first step to keep your spouse alert about the situation, and counling does help in some cases but we are not dealing with adult feelings, we are dealing with a CHILD. Do not make your child the EXCUSE of your divorce, he did not have the blame nor the fault, the problem is, we do not see the child and their achievements in the future, we see them as a child and never look up to what that chidl is CAPABLE to do. To all divorced parents that decide tosupport their child, you are a blessing, no Deaf child will ever be succesfull without family and friends support.

zookeeper4321 · 03-24-2006, 11:46 PM

Good on ya mate. I divorced before my Deaf child was born, but my 18 year old always felt the divorce was his fault. His dad got drunk and beat the hell out of him. He had been getting in trouble in school and droping his grades and stuff and his dad went off on him. I left his dad over it and he always felt responsible. It took about 3 years to convince him it wasn't his fault.

Fabian · 03-25-2006, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zookeeper4321

Good on ya mate. I divorced before my Deaf child was born, but my 18 year old always felt the divorce was his fault. His dad got drunk and beat the hell out of him. He had been getting in trouble in school and droping his grades and stuff and his dad went off on him. I left his dad over it and he always felt responsible. It took about 3 years to convince him it wasn't his fault.

There are many way way you can change his point of view, specially knowing his father wasn't a real father to him before he was even born and after. I think you did the right desicion in this case and I am glad you were able to change his point of view.

03-24-2006, 01:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Fabian Proud of Myself Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Posts: 37	To divorced parents of Deaf kids I posted this at another thread but I think it wasn't the right one untill I checked this section so I am posting it here as well. In most cases YES, the divorce main cause is the current health status of the child, however from my experience ( My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and I was born Deaf), the real cause is not the child but how a parent is willing to support the kid in the future. Let's face it, a parent love their children, and the mother love to their child can be described as unconditional love, it hurts when a parent get the new of their child deafness but let me tell you something, does it hurts more knowing that you did not supported your child when you could? Is never too late and to those parents of Deaf children, your child is smart and healthy, he lack hearing but he does not lack knowlogde, he does not have a learning disorder, he does not have a mental issue, he is in fact normal. Communication is the first step to keep your spouse alert about the situation, and counling does help in some cases but we are not dealing with adult feelings, we are dealing with a CHILD. Do not make your child the EXCUSE of your divorce, he did not have the blame nor the fault, the problem is, we do not see the child and their achievements in the future, we see them as a child and never look up to what that chidl is CAPABLE to do. To all divorced parents that decide tosupport their child, you are a blessing, no Deaf child will ever be succesfull without family and friends support. __________________ " You need to be Deaf to understand"

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03-24-2006, 11:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
zookeeper4321 Madly in love Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: the planet gorgo Posts: 445	Good on ya mate. I divorced before my Deaf child was born, but my 18 year old always felt the divorce was his fault. His dad got drunk and beat the hell out of him. He had been getting in trouble in school and droping his grades and stuff and his dad went off on him. I left his dad over it and he always felt responsible. It took about 3 years to convince him it wasn't his fault.