Would you allow your teen children to read sexual responsibility magazines?

Liebling:-))) · 03-07-2006, 09:46 AM

Foreign magazines expose youths to intimacy, promote sexual responsibility

By Jessica Schneider
DAILY Intern

Quote:

Many of the pictures in my teen magazines featured naked people. I didn't hide it from my parents or make a fuss over it with friends.

They weren't pornographic. They were Germany's teen mags, targeting 12- to 17-year-olds.

Even before most Germans reach the teenage years, they've most likely seen breasts on TV — and not because of a costume malfunction.

Back home, small talk centers around sex as much as it does the weather. Germans are more open about their sexuality.

Whether people are more open to the topic because of the constant contact with sexuality through the media, or whether the media are simply responding to the interests of German society, is hard to determine.

Germany's most popular youth magazine, "Bravo," features celebrities and advice about intimacy and sexuality. Tips to better sex, whether masturbation is OK and a guide to using a condom are a few examples.

Pictures of naked boys and girls, oftentimes in intimate positions, often accompany the articles. And "Bravo" isn't the only one.

Are German teens immoral? I don't think so. German media don't promote having sex at a young age or with numerous people. The magazines teach teens to be responsible and use contraceptives. They educate young people about their bodies.

The teen pregnancy rate is higher in the United States than in Germany. Parents might not be happy about their children having sex, but instead of pretending it doesn't happen, they encourage safer, more responsible sex.

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturd...6/expose.shtml

It's an exactly why I allow my children to know anything about sex issues because I want them learn from me, not anyone... It's meanfuling to expose the children to be responsible at earlier age before they hit puberty time. My son bought "Bravo" teen magazine sometimes... I read his magazine and find very meanfuling information and also sex education, too... I do not consider it as sex prevert, dirty, porn etc but information...

What about you? Come and discuss with agree and disagree... I would like to know why you disagree to this... I would appreicate for your answer on this...

Reba · 03-07-2006, 10:16 AM

I don't think that promotes "responsible" sexual behavior. I think it encourages kids to think that sex without marriage is OK. Kids already think about sex enough; they don't need additional stimuli, especially in a glitzy magazine format. Why do teens need to read about "better sex"? They are not supposed to be having any sex, good, bad or indifferent.

Why is there so much emphasis on sex?

Angel · 03-07-2006, 10:31 AM

I'm sorry to say this but I disagree with you Reba, when my second child was in 5th grade he has sex education class, and they even teach the children about Aids, protections, sex, etc.....yet it doesn't encourages children to think about sex first before marriage, it's all about learning and teaching, the parents have to make sure their children do not have sex, but it doesn't mean they will always listen to their parents, but we do what we can to make sure our children do not go behind our back and have sex.....

I know I have and I didn't wait until I got married to have sex, and I didn't learn it from TV, movies or any magazine that shows nudity, it just happened, and some parents intend to blame on other things thinking this is where their children got the idea from, when that's is not always the case....

***VamPyroX*** · 03-07-2006, 10:41 AM

Kids are going to find out about sex ANYTIME... no matter what.

It's like a kid and a swimming pool. Are you going to spend thousands of dollars locking the gate/door to the swimming pool or are you going to teach them to swim? If you teach them to swim and then simply lock them out, they're gonna get in anyway... but they'll be ready cuz they now know how to swim. Same with sex and nudity. If we say nothing, they're gonna get too curious and something stupid will happen. If we explain sex to them. Talk to them about not having sex. Talk to them about safe sex such as condoms. Later, we can try to keep them from having sex... but if they ever do get away with it, it's better since they used a condom or had sex wisely.

Angel · 03-07-2006, 10:50 AM

Exactly VamPyroX, children will learn sex anywhere, not just from TV, on-line, movies, magazines....It's our responsibility to make sure we teach our children the use of protection cause that whats important, children don't intend to do what they're told to do all the time, and sometime they can curious by trying it out, and when that happens I rather them to think of protections....

I'm praying that none of my boys do not think about having sex before marriage, but I'm prepare to face whatever happens, hopefully have to deal with it in a calmer way after all I have done some things when I was younger, even I knew having sex was wrong, but did it stop me? no....

Liebling:-))) · 03-07-2006, 12:38 PM

I´m agree with Angel and Vampy to this... Teach children an earlier is the best.

Exactly Vampy, what the parents for... Its about teach them how expose into good person...

My parents never teach me about sex education but my teacher... I thank teacher for that... I would go wrong path if ´there´re no teacher who educated me about sex issues...

Audiofuzzy · 03-07-2006, 02:47 PM

Like it or not, sex is everywhere in the media and children are exposed to it.
Then there is natural progress when kids start to mature, an hormones kick in. It's something that is unstoppable,
and statistic show that the kids whose parents talked to about sex, it's consequences, and when touching is bad touching, when to say 'no' nad HOW to say no, - from an early age, were best protected against bad choices in this matter.

If you as a parent will be able to instill good moral values, mostly by showing good example, then chances are your kids will also make smart decisions by themselves.
No amount of erotic magazines or TV shows will then spoil your kid stance on what sex is and how to be responsible.

Children and teens who are denied acces to sex at all are like persons who doesn't know how to read and write. They don't know what is good and what's bad, what choices to make.

And while I agree teens should not be having sex the fact is they do. And from very early age..
Might as well do it properly. With recognition what is intimacy and what's just "having sex". Protection against pregnancy and SDT and the likes.
It won't just appear from a thin air- they need information on the subject.. that's when responsible magazines and other media forms on the subject may come handy.

Fuzzy

sara1981 · 03-08-2006, 03:27 AM

i have agree with posts and also Reba

im sure mostly teenage boys always read on playboy magazine see the girls naked and im sure parents will took and rip it them!

my brother read playboy magazine when he was young and my mom found out about it and my mom rip that magazine and dont let my brother to read it!

if i have teenage son read playboy magazine i would took it and rip that magazine like my mom did that! but need to grown-up act like adult!

Liebling:-))) · 03-08-2006, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sara1981

i have agree with posts and also Reba

im sure mostly teenage boys always read on playboy magazine see the girls naked and im sure parents will took and rip it them!

my brother read playboy magazine when he was young and my mom found out about it and my mom rip that magazine and dont let my brother to read it!

if i have teenage son read playboy magazine i would took it and rip that magazine like my mom did that! but need to grown-up act like adult!

Don’t compare playboy with “Bravo” teen-magazine (including pop stars, music, sex education, health, money, computer, etc.).

You said that you are sure that most teenage boys read playboy magazines… Why? It look like that they never see their parent’s naked body before, isn’t they? No wonder why they focus their curious about naked girls or boys.

A lot of European families grew up in nudity family (in the house). We are naked to go to bathroom to have shower, dressing, etc. My children (12 & 9) are still naked front of us and we do the same, too. We are open mind and doesn’t make fun of our naked bodies... It's natural to them.. Why should they bought expensive playboy magazine for when they know what naked is thru TV, commercials, etc?.

Check this link:
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.ph...3&page=1&pp=20

A lot of Germans teenagers prefer to buy “Bravo” teen-magazine because there is plenty of information with good price what playboy magazine doesn’t. They don’t want to waste their money on playboy magazines… Sure, they may read playboy magazine in store... What’s that problem…? If you carry on forbid your children’s experiment then they will go wrong way. I am sure that your brother read playboy magazine at store because he can’t trust to open talk anything with his parents.

I'm amazed to see the people who denied sexual issues with their children and act as sex issues doesn’t’ exist and unimportant. I feel bad for children because they didn’t know the sex is about more than having “fun”, relationships are about more than just sex, responsibility, confidence, maturity, assertiveness etc but seek to wrong crowd and could be likely become porn addiction, got AID, SID, teen pregnancies, relationship problems etc. The children need to be trained to know about sex education like the example about eat properly and choose the right foods, eat the right amount at the right time.

Quote:

but need to grown-up act like adult!

:confused: Do you mean that it’s childish immature of teenagers to focus their curiously?

diehardbiker · 03-08-2006, 07:00 AM

Okay, this is my 3,000th post.

I don't see anything wrong with sex education and sex health promotions with kids. This is not about making them perverts. It is to teach them that sex can be healthy *IF* there is respect and understanding its valuation. This helps promote the love involves with intimacy. Tell you this story... one of my best friend had his son living with his mother almost all the time. His mother was damn closed minded and refused to discuss anything about sex, and refused to talk about the love. She even prohibits school from offering sex education to his sons! One day.... his son who was 15 yrs old met a girl, a daughter of a senator! He had no clue what love is all about, and what sex is all about. It was huge firework for both of them. I mean real huge!!! He had no idea and had great orgasm and everything... a big woweowoweee then few months later he learned that his girlfriend got preggy. His mother freaked out and got pissed off at him. Who is to blame? I would blame 100% on his mother not him! If had his mother educate him about sexuality, this problem won't have to happen.

Even though my son's only 5 years old, I told him where he is really from. I don't believe in stork tales, it just mask the reality from the children and I think it is stupid! Yea, he said ohhhh as if was surprised. Very cute! I even told him that he can wait until he is grown up and met a right girl. He said yea, I can wait. What am I doing with him? Educate him how wonderful it is, and how it would be much better if he wait til right person.

I even educate him that it is wrong for anyone to touch his private areas without his consent, and if anyone did to him I encourage him to report us and that we won't bite him.

If we don't educate them, they will find out themselves anyway, usually at worst time, least expected, or at unfavorable situation for everybody. We can not afford these kinds of risk!

Liebling:-))) · 03-08-2006, 07:57 AM

First of all, Congrulation on your 3,000th post, DHB...

Yes, I gave my children honest answer what they want to question us because they deserve my honest answer. I don't beleive to make up fairy tale stories how to make baby...

I remember when Danny was over 3 years old and ask me how my tummy get fatter... I explained him that baby is inside and wait until 9 months... He asked me again... How?

I answered him:
Your mommy & daddy love each other in the bed to make a baby.

I let my children watch TV about sex education and also question us, too. They knows about sex and also sex safety, too. They feel good and safe with us because they have no fear to hide anything from us...

Your story about your best-friend's son got me

Yes I has to agree that it's his mother who expose him like this... Sad...

downing · 03-08-2006, 08:13 AM

wow....I would want to educate my boys early age. they know privvy parts. they know what is wrong or bad even they are young. my oldest son will know if someone touch his privvy. he would tell them no touching i will tell mommy. he is aware of it.

I was very young that I was exposured to playboy magazines. It did not harm me in a way but aware of sexuality, sex, condom or whatever before I was educated properly in 5th grade.

I would make sure they practice safe sex, hopefully not get a lady preggy...if they ask me honest questions, I will tell them right away, not hesitant like my parents did, they never educated me about sex. It is today society that is being exposured at early age, I have known a kid who was 9 yrs old that had his first sex (no kidding)....

I am ok with magazines that explains about sex or sexuality..it helps and educate the younger generation better than it was in our time. I agree w Leibing that I would want my kids to be safe and feel comfortable asking me everything they want to know.

kivinlee · 03-08-2006, 04:52 PM

No,I won't let my children read those magazines,it's dangerous for them.
Also I've put "NetDog Internet Filter" on my computer, so they can't get touch with Internet Porn Contents.Protect children from sexual materials.

Heath · 03-08-2006, 05:02 PM

As an uncle to 10+ kids. I don't want my nephews or nieces reading that garbage the public schools force upon my kids.

If they want to know about sex. It is best to ask me or ask my church pastor or their parents or my mother ( their grandmother ) which is much, much more safer

than what those radical left wing liberal public school teachers are trying to force on the kids with their sexual propangda which in reality causes more sex, diease and teenage pregnancy and suicide.

There are church literature on the topic about sex and it explains the dangers of the " so called safer sex " in a Biblical content with today's reality message to help the teenagers know and understand more about sex in a safe, responsible and Biblical manner.

Children and teenagers are not ready for sex. They have a whole life ahead of them and I am not going to support sexual immoral messages at all either.

Sex can damage lives in the worst way anytime it is not confined to the married bedroom.

Sex is reserved for the married bedroom only and the parents are to have sexual relations in the married bedroom as God has said. Nothing else can be added.

Liebling, To let you know.... Martin Luther of the German Protestant Church would be rolling around in his grave very disturbed at today's German children, teenagers and parents.

GalaxyAngel · 03-08-2006, 05:18 PM

Important Education for Grade 5 to up...
Yes..
Let them know how much protection sex safer and much more details...

Don't you agree w/Sex Education.... what happen them young children will get preggy or hiv or else... Who fault.. YOU... not School fault reason parent fault refused allow your child learning Sex Education early stage..

I let my children okay learn Sex Education unless Grade 5 to up.. Not Grade 4..
espicaly my last son knows about sex meaning... "Making Love" I cannot blame my little son because of can hear outside from children talking and teenagers wherebouts anywhere ... Don't forget that.. includes as same TV and others stuff..

Do you expecting banned whole thing... Your child will happend become 1.. Your decision not our fault not their fault.. Nope... who fault it's YOU! You made the choice!

diehardbiker · 03-08-2006, 05:22 PM

I agree with you, BUT does not have to specific the minimum age. Even 5 years old can figure out! Because my gf and I are deaf and can not hear what our kids were talking behind us. It is safer to educate them. The younger the kids are the easier for them to learn and remember everlasting. But once your kids turns to teenager they sometimes kick in silence and refused to listen to you and *Think* they know it all. You would want them to learn before they turn to teenager.
My parents was closed minded, does not want to deal with sexuality issues with my brother and sister, my brother became father when he was 16 years old, go figure!
Education is key to prevention!
No education = no prevention

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaxyAngel

Important Education for Grade 5 to up...
Yes..
Let them know how much protection sex safer and much more details...

Don't you agree w/Sex Education.... what happen them young children will get preggy or hiv or else... Who fault.. YOU... not School fault reason parent fault refused allow your child learning Sex Education early stage..

I let my children okay learn Sex Education unless Grade 5 to up.. Not Grade 4..
espicaly my last son knows about sex meaning... "Making Love" I cannot blame my little son because of can hear outside from children talking and teenagers wherebouts anywhere ... Don't forget that.. includes as same TV and others stuff..

Do you expecting banned whole thing... Your child will happend become 1.. Your decision not our fault not their fault.. Nope... who fault it's YOU! You made the choice!

Reba · 03-08-2006, 05:46 PM

I didn't say that kids should be taught about sex. I said that the glitzy teen magazine approach was not appropriate.

I think the setting and curriculum used are very important. Ideally, the parents should take care of business. If the parents turn that responsibility over to schools, then they need to carefully check out the way it is presented. The curriculum should be age appropriate, and it should not be a "how to do it better" class. Girls and boys should attend separate classes. The schools should be required to fully disclose the curriculum in advance for the parents to look over, and they should require permission forms.

I think we, as a society, should quit glamorizing pre-marital and extra-marital sex, and unwed motherhood. There should be more emphasis on morality and self-control, and less emphasis on instant gratification and selfishness. What happened to modesty, self-respect and good reputations?

Yeah, the urging of hormones is strong but we are not animals, so we don't have to surrender to our instincts. But if you feed those desires with outside stimuli (pictures, movies, immodest dress) then the urges become stronger, not lesser. It makes sense to reduce temptations and stimulation if you don't want your kids to become sexually active.

It's no wonder that kids are so curious about sex when they see there is always so much emphasis on it.

Liebling:-))) · 03-08-2006, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kivinlee

No,I won't let my children read those magazines,it's dangerous for them.

I respect your opinion but I see no dangerous but it´s good information for the children how to handle responsible... It would be dangerous if you deny sexual issues from your children because they will end in wrong way...

Quote:

Also I've put "NetDog Internet Filter" on my computer, so they can't get touch with Internet Porn Contents.Protect children from sexual materials.

Yes we have parental control to protect children from porn. view but I know the children will find out from outside... We can´t do anything to hide our children from world...

Liebling:-))) · 03-08-2006, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heath

As an uncle to 10+ kids. I don't want my nephews or nieces reading that garbage the public schools force upon my kids.

If they want to know about sex. It is best to ask me or ask my church pastor or their parents or my mother ( their grandmother ) which is much, much more safer

than what those radical left wing liberal public school teachers are trying to force on the kids with their sexual propangda which in reality causes more sex, diease and teenage pregnancy and suicide.

There are church literature on the topic about sex and it explains the dangers of the " so called safer sex " in a Biblical content with today's reality message to help the teenagers know and understand more about sex in a safe, responsible and Biblical manner.

Children and teenagers are not ready for sex. They have a whole life ahead of them and I am not going to support sexual immoral messages at all either.

Sex can damage lives in the worst way anytime it is not confined to the married bedroom.

Sex is reserved for the married bedroom only and the parents are to have sexual relations in the married bedroom as God has said. Nothing else can be added.

Sorry I has to disagree with you... It doesn´t solve anything because it will make children curious more and then go wrong way... It´s your choice whatever you think best for your future children...

Quote:

Liebling, To let you know.... Martin Luther of the German Protestant Church would be rolling around in his grave very disturbed at today's German children, teenagers and parents.

Don´t you know that US high teen pregnancies in the world opposite to Europe teen pregnancies...? German teen pregnancies rate are low in Germany... Why? because the children have no fear to talk anything openly with their parents in Europe countries.

Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe and the U.S.—Why the Difference?

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/PUB...heet/fsest.htm

Yes, I agree with you totally, GalaxyAngel...

sara1981 · 03-08-2006, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))

Don’t compare playboy with “Bravo” teen-magazine (including pop stars, music, sex education, health, money, computer, etc.).

You said that you are sure that most teenage boys read playboy magazines… Why? It look like that they never see their parent’s naked body before, isn’t they? No wonder why they focus their curious about naked girls or boys.

A lot of European families grew up in nudity family (in the house). We are naked to go to bathroom to have shower, dressing, etc. My children (12 & 9) are still naked front of us and we do the same, too. We are open mind and doesn’t make fun of our naked bodies... It's natural to them.. Why should they bought expensive playboy magazine for when they know what naked is thru TV, commercials, etc?.

Check this link:
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.ph...3&page=1&pp=20

A lot of Germans teenagers prefer to buy “Bravo” teen-magazine because there is plenty of information with good price what playboy magazine doesn’t. They don’t want to waste their money on playboy magazines… Sure, they may read playboy magazine in store... What’s that problem…? If you carry on forbid your children’s experiment then they will go wrong way. I am sure that your brother read playboy magazine at store because he can’t trust to open talk anything with his parents.

I'm amazed to see the people who denied sexual issues with their children and act as sex issues doesn’t’ exist and unimportant. I feel bad for children because they didn’t know the sex is about more than having “fun”, relationships are about more than just sex, responsibility, confidence, maturity, assertiveness etc but seek to wrong crowd and could be likely become porn addiction, got AID, SID, teen pregnancies, relationship problems etc. The children need to be trained to know about sex education like the example about eat properly and choose the right foods, eat the right amount at the right time.

:confused: Do you mean that it’s childish immature of teenagers to focus their curiously?

thanks for send me http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.ph...3&page=1&pp=20

Kalista · 05-16-2006, 01:38 PM

Quote:

I'm praying that none of my boys do not think about having sex before marriage, but I'm prepare to face whatever happens, hopefully have to deal with it in a calmer way after all I have done some things when I was younger, even I knew having sex was wrong, but did it stop me? no....

Unfortunately, nowadays there is high statistic teenager kids out there, having sex before marriage. We can't prevent them or our children. Important, open discuss and protection.

GalaxyAngel · 05-16-2006, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaxyAngel

Important Education for Grade 5 to up...
Yes..
Let them know how much protection sex safer and much more details...

Don't you agree w/Sex Education.... what happen them young children will get preggy or hiv or else... Who fault.. YOU... not School fault reason parent fault refused allow your child learning Sex Education early stage..

I let my children okay learn Sex Education unless Grade 5 to up.. Not Grade 4..
espicaly my last son knows about sex meaning... "Making Love" I cannot blame my little son because of can hear outside from children talking and teenagers wherebouts anywhere ... Don't forget that.. includes as same TV and others stuff..

Do you expecting banned whole thing... Your child will happend become 1.. Your decision not our fault not their fault.. Nope... who fault it's YOU! You made the choice!

*edit forgot add*
here....

BUT NOT GOOD IDEA... "PLAYBOY OR PLAYGURL"
isn't good idea for young children..

Different issues point of view.. educational

sort of simalir alike CONDOM VENDING machine.. i do not approval that..
What Condom vending company wants encourge them LEARN SEX? Doesn't make sense..

USE GO STORE... buy it proprite place.. as same extactly maginize
Books or maginze never sell on the vending machine.. only GO STORE.. and buy it..

lilylover72 · 05-16-2006, 08:56 PM

I dont allow my son read playboy! I will teach him about sex, diease, pregnact and money and lifes. He is only 8 years old.

My stepson told me that he broke his virgan when he was 12 years old. He learned about it himself with a girl because they kissed and fellt so horny and they did it.

I was a kid, I never want have any sex because my uncle messed me up. I thought sex was so sick. I didnt understand what is love with sex until I was teenager. I learned from a teacher who taught me sex education. My mom had me when she was 16. She asked me to not have sex or would be end like her. I said I dont want have any sex because I never had any love with a boy. My mom told me that If I find a boyfriend and fall in love with him and might want have sex then I should tell her about it before I do it. I had lot of think. I met a boyfriend and I told him that I want to wait and i want to talk to my mom first. He respected me. My mom got me birth control when I was 16 years old. My mom said I cannot have sex in her house but I can have sex in somewhere. My mom and I are very close and I thank her for so open mind. I would teach my son to not have sex until he get old. He can choose have sex or not when he will be 18. My husband never had any sex until he was 18 years old. I taught my stepdaugher that she was 13 years old. She trust me. She never had any sex until she was 18.

Liebling:-))) · 05-17-2006, 04:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalista

Unfortunately, nowadays there is high statistic teenager kids out there, having sex before marriage. We can't prevent them or our children. Important, open discuss and protection.

Very true.

Liebling:-))) · 05-17-2006, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GalaxyAngel

*edit forgot add*
here....

BUT NOT GOOD IDEA... "PLAYBOY OR PLAYGURL"
isn't good idea for young children..

Different issues point of view.. educational

sort of simalir alike CONDOM VENDING machine.. i do not approval that..
What Condom vending company wants encourge them LEARN SEX? Doesn't make sense..

USE GO STORE... buy it proprite place.. as same extactly maginize
Books or maginze never sell on the vending machine.. only GO STORE.. and buy it..

My boys don't read playboy or playgirl magazines but "BRAVO" magazine for teenagers (including sex education, protection, tips, computer, school, advise, etc. etc...). Why should my boys buy expensive magazines like playboy or playgirl out of their pocket money? No, they prefer BRAVO magazine for teenagers. My eldest son bought teenage magazine sometimes... I saw it and must say that it's very good education and mature magazine.

Yes, I don't agree to have condom vending machine at school because it's not sex education but seduce teenagers to have sex...

Liebling:-))) · 05-17-2006, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghsh1996

I dont allow my son read playboy! I will teach him about sex, diease, pregnact and money and lifes. He is only 8 years old.

Me either! but my sons know about sex when they were young. I rather to have my children to aware about sex issues before they hit puberty.

Playboy or Playgirl magazines has nothing do with sex education. Buy reasonable magazines for teenagers only, not adult magazines.

Quote:

My stepson told me that he broke his virgan when he was 12 years old. He learned about it himself with a girl because they kissed and fellt so horny and they did it.

I was a kid, I never want have any sex because my uncle messed me up. I thought sex was so sick. I didnt understand what is love with sex until I was teenager. I learned from a teacher who taught me sex education. My mom had me when she was 16. She asked me to not have sex or would be end like her. I said I dont want have any sex because I never had any love with a boy. My mom told me that If I find a boyfriend and fall in love with him and might want have sex then I should tell her about it before I do it. I had lot of think. I met a boyfriend and I told him that I want to wait and i want to talk to my mom first. He respected me. My mom got me birth control when I was 16 years old. My mom said I cannot have sex in her house but I can have sex in somewhere. My mom and I are very close and I thank her for so open mind. I would teach my son to not have sex until he get old. He can choose have sex or not when he will be 18. My husband never had any sex until he was 18 years old. I taught my stepdaugher that she was 13 years old. She trust me. She never had any sex until she was 18.

Yes it's important to talk open about sex issues with children. You are very lucky to have open mind mother who teach you in right path.

Liebling:-))) · 03-06-2007, 03:36 AM

Germany's Teen Sex Doctor

Quote:

How can I tell him I want more? Why doesn't she like me? What is a condom? Generations of confused German teenagers have turned to Dr. Sommer for honesty -- and explicit photos.

Sandra, 16, looks up coyly from the pages of Bravo, wearing a black choker and nothing else. Boyfriend Elias, 18, grins from the opposite page, also in his natural state.

"Tell me, why do you love each other?" reads the headline. And the young couple tells why -- and exactly how.

Sell this in America, and risk prison time for child pornography.

But in Germany, this is nothing tawdry.

It's the country's most popular teenage magazine, and it turns 50 on Saturday.

Sandra and Elias' graphic spread is in the same issue as a free sheet of fake tattoos, a feature about Harry Potter, and an exclusive report on Tokio Hotel, the German boy band currently making girls swoon.

A German institution since 1969, Dr. Sommer combines no-holds-barred sex advice with full-frontal photos.

It highlights a basic cultural divide between Germany and many other countries -- of how openly sex is discussed, especially among youth.

"It is not pornography," says Bravo's deputy editor, Alex Gernandt. "It deals with naked people, but in a very sensitive way. We try to portray young people to tell readers, 'You are not too fat, not too thin. You are OK the way you are.'

"There are a lot less teenage pregnancies in Germany in comparison to the United Kingdom or the US, and I think Bravo has its share in that success," Gernandt said.

Breaking taboos

Bildunterschrift: Großansicht des Bildes mit der Bildunterschrift: "I was seduced at 14," Kristijan says
The current Dr. Sommer, Eveline von Arx, credits the column with Germany's free sexual attitudes.

When it began in 1969, "Dr. Sommer really broke taboos, and it was really spectacular to do something like that," said von Arx, who has been writing the column for three years. "It's not that spectacular anymore. People are used to it. Everybody knows it."

Each weekly issue of Bravo now features photos of two teenagers, generally between 16 and 20, in the nude, with interviews about their bodies and experiences.

Anyone under 18, like Sandra, must have his or her parents' permission to appear.

They are paid 400 euros (a little more than $500) to pose, and many report the experience is a self-esteem boost, von Arx said.

Weekly letters range from "My boyfriend is once again interested in his former girlfriend" to "Everybody's had sex, only I haven't." Sample answer: "Nowhere does it say that youth have to have sex by a certain time… Talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him how you feel."

"You can be sexy here"

Bravo's Web site even features explicit petting and positions photo galleries that wouldn't last a day in other countries.

The magazine publishes its eastern European editions with little to no nudity. But in Germany, even teachers and religious leaders seem to welcome the column. Von Arx has spoken in schools and was even invited as a youth expert to a big evangelical Christian conference last year.

Gisela Gille, chairman of Germany's Society for the Health of Women, said Bravo plays an important role in the sexual education of Germany's 12- to 15-year-olds, particularly the lesser educated. Gille said the advice satisfies basic curiosities, but that many teenagers read Bravo only for a short time and stop when they become more experienced.

Tanja Reddig, a 17-year-old Berlin student, said that she read Dr. Sommer when she was 12 and 13 and didn't see what the fuss was over the nudity.

"You can be sexy here and you don't get any problems," she said. "In America, they can't show bodies. They must hide something. Some teenagers don't want to ask their parents things, so they could write a letter to Dr. Sommer."

Started by popular demand

Bildunterschrift: Großansicht des Bildes mit der Bildunterschrift: Today's youth seem concerned with balancing love and work
Dr. Sommer began during the sexual revolution of 1969. Bravo was then a strictly entertainment magazine, but its young readers nonetheless kept writing letters about love and sex.

So editors figured such a column would increase their readership, according to Antje Pfeffer of the Berlin-based Archive of Youth Culture (Archiv der Jugendkulturen), which has published a book about Bravo's 50 year history.

"Dr. Sommer immediately was greeted as too open," Pfeffer said.

Some parents glued the Dr. Sommer pages together so their teenagers couldn't read the column, others banned it from the house. Some schools confiscated it, and in communist East Germany, many clamored for smuggled copies.

But from the start, the column took its mission quite seriously. The first Dr. Sommer, Martin Goldstein, recalled in the Berlin archive's book that he and his team of social workers, psychologists, sociologists, political scientists, family counselors and parents would spend hours going through letters:

I have fallen in love with a sweet young boy. If he would kiss me, I would be happy for my entire life. How can I get him to do it? I see him almost every day and I already know his name. But don't tell me that I should talk to him. Janne, 14

The boys in our village seem to have no interest in us, no matter what we do. We do not know how we can get their attention. Ina, Renate, Anne and Beate, 15 and 16

The team tried to respond in an encouraging, non-judgemental way. But often, they wondered whether the teenagers had anyone else they could confide in. They were shocked at how many letters were sent in -- sometimes 3,000 to 5,000 a month.

"We believed it was because young people wanted to be listened to," Goldstein recalled.

Evolving topics

Soon, they were dealing with much thornier issues, such as a 1988 letter titled "My mum's boyfriend sexually abused me."

By the end of the 1980s, Dr. Sommer had become more mainstream, and answers seemed freer. For instance, Nicola, 15, wrote in with the basic question, "How do I show him that I want more?"

The answer: Tell him what you want. Or, just push his hand higher.

Von Arx says many of the letters have not changed much over the years. But recently she has seen more teenagers concerned that they won't get ahead in school because they are so distracted by lovesickness.

She is often asked if the column is even necessary anymore.

"People think our society is very sexualized, and naked bodies and sex are everywhere, and young people should know everything," she said. "But they don't know anything sometimes."

Germany's Teen Sex Doctor | Culture & Lifestyle | Deutsche Welle | 25.08.2006

"BRAVO" is not adult and porn. magazine but education to understand about their bodies, sexuality, etc. My son bought BRAVO magazine sometimes like what I said in my first thread here.

jillio · 03-07-2007, 03:43 PM

Yes, I would allow it. Thinking that teen agers will wait until marraige to engage in sexual activity is unrealistic. They will hav esex, and you can either teach them how to be responsible, or you can bury your head in the sand and risk exposure to STDs and teen pregnancy.

Kuifje75 · 03-07-2007, 04:01 PM

I remember these BRAVO magazines when I was growing up. I agree, it is not a porn magazine at all, far from it. It is like two pages out of the whole magazine that talks about sex, and the rest of magazine talks about movies, actors, rumours, bands, music, etc... I don't see what the big deal is.

I think with our culture being revolutionised by the cinema, the internet, the television, and so on, it is wise to educate our children about sex. I had my sex ed class in middle school when I was about 11 years old, and I thought it was a good class to teach us to become responsible adults.

shel90 · 03-07-2007, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

I don't think that promotes "responsible" sexual behavior. I think it encourages kids to think that sex without marriage is OK. Kids already think about sex enough; they don't need additional stimuli, especially in a glitzy magazine format. Why do teens need to read about "better sex"? They are not supposed to be having any sex, good, bad or indifferent.

Why is there so much emphasis on sex?

Kids will always think that sex without marriage is OK unless they are raised with religous values. I was raised about safe sex and not for a moment that encouraged me to think sex without marriage is ok. Besides, it was my own personal decision to have sex without marriage at the age of 18. It was a learning experience for me. Your values and my values differ and there is nothing wrong with that.

03-07-2006, 10:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 19,089	I'm sorry to say this but I disagree with you Reba, when my second child was in 5th grade he has sex education class, and they even teach the children about Aids, protections, sex, etc.....yet it doesn't encourages children to think about sex first before marriage, it's all about learning and teaching, the parents have to make sure their children do not have sex, but it doesn't mean they will always listen to their parents, but we do what we can to make sure our children do not go behind our back and have sex..... I know I have and I didn't wait until I got married to have sex, and I didn't learn it from TV, movies or any magazine that shows nudity, it just happened, and some parents intend to blame on other things thinking this is where their children got the idea from, when that's is not always the case.... __________________ "When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

03-07-2006, 10:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 31,473	Kids are going to find out about sex ANYTIME... no matter what. It's like a kid and a swimming pool. Are you going to spend thousands of dollars locking the gate/door to the swimming pool or are you going to teach them to swim? If you teach them to swim and then simply lock them out, they're gonna get in anyway... but they'll be ready cuz they now know how to swim. Same with sex and nudity. If we say nothing, they're gonna get too curious and something stupid will happen. If we explain sex to them. Talk to them about not having sex. Talk to them about safe sex such as condoms. Later, we can try to keep them from having sex... but if they ever do get away with it, it's better since they used a condom or had sex wisely. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

03-07-2006, 10:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 19,089	Exactly VamPyroX, children will learn sex anywhere, not just from TV, on-line, movies, magazines....It's our responsibility to make sure we teach our children the use of protection cause that whats important, children don't intend to do what they're told to do all the time, and sometime they can curious by trying it out, and when that happens I rather them to think of protections.... I'm praying that none of my boys do not think about having sex before marriage, but I'm prepare to face whatever happens, hopefully have to deal with it in a calmer way after all I have done some things when I was younger, even I knew having sex was wrong, but did it stop me? no.... __________________ "When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

03-07-2006, 12:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Sussi 7.7.86 - 18.6.09 Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 30,971	I´m agree with Angel and Vampy to this... Teach children an earlier is the best. Exactly Vampy, what the parents for... Its about teach them how expose into good person... My parents never teach me about sex education but my teacher... I thank teacher for that... I would go wrong path if ´there´re no teacher who educated me about sex issues... __________________

03-08-2006, 03:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
sara1981 Pandy the Beagle Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: North Little Rock,Ar Posts: 4,834	i have agree with posts and also Reba im sure mostly teenage boys always read on playboy magazine see the girls naked and im sure parents will took and rip it them! my brother read playboy magazine when he was young and my mom found out about it and my mom rip that magazine and dont let my brother to read it! if i have teenage son read playboy magazine i would took it and rip that magazine like my mom did that! but need to grown-up act like adult! __________________ WWE Dave Batista

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03-07-2006, 10:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Reba Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 20,799	I don't think that promotes "responsible" sexual behavior. I think it encourages kids to think that sex without marriage is OK. Kids already think about sex enough; they don't need additional stimuli, especially in a glitzy magazine format. Why do teens need to read about "better sex"? They are not supposed to be having any sex, good, bad or indifferent. Why is there so much emphasis on sex?

03-07-2006, 02:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Audiofuzzy Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,968	Like it or not, sex is everywhere in the media and children are exposed to it. Then there is natural progress when kids start to mature, an hormones kick in. It's something that is unstoppable, and statistic show that the kids whose parents talked to about sex, it's consequences, and when touching is bad touching, when to say 'no' nad HOW to say no, - from an early age, were best protected against bad choices in this matter. If you as a parent will be able to instill good moral values, mostly by showing good example, then chances are your kids will also make smart decisions by themselves. No amount of erotic magazines or TV shows will then spoil your kid stance on what sex is and how to be responsible. Children and teens who are denied acces to sex at all are like persons who doesn't know how to read and write. They don't know what is good and what's bad, what choices to make. And while I agree teens should not be having sex the fact is they do. And from very early age.. Might as well do it properly. With recognition what is intimacy and what's just "having sex". Protection against pregnancy and SDT and the likes. It won't just appear from a thin air- they need information on the subject.. that's when responsible magazines and other media forms on the subject may come handy. Fuzzy

03-08-2006, 07:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
diehardbiker Stuck in New York! Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 7,168	Okay, this is my 3,000th post. I don't see anything wrong with sex education and sex health promotions with kids. This is not about making them perverts. It is to teach them that sex can be healthy IF there is respect and understanding its valuation. This helps promote the love involves with intimacy. Tell you this story... one of my best friend had his son living with his mother almost all the time. His mother was damn closed minded and refused to discuss anything about sex, and refused to talk about the love. She even prohibits school from offering sex education to his sons! One day.... his son who was 15 yrs old met a girl, a daughter of a senator! He had no clue what love is all about, and what sex is all about. It was huge firework for both of them. I mean real huge!!! He had no idea and had great orgasm and everything... a big woweowoweee then few months later he learned that his girlfriend got preggy. His mother freaked out and got pissed off at him. Who is to blame? I would blame 100% on his mother not him! If had his mother educate him about sexuality, this problem won't have to happen. Even though my son's only 5 years old, I told him where he is really from. I don't believe in stork tales, it just mask the reality from the children and I think it is stupid! Yea, he said ohhhh as if was surprised. Very cute! I even told him that he can wait until he is grown up and met a right girl. He said yea, I can wait. What am I doing with him? Educate him how wonderful it is, and how it would be much better if he wait til right person. I even educate him that it is wrong for anyone to touch his private areas without his consent, and if anyone did to him I encourage him to report us and that we won't bite him. If we don't educate them, they will find out themselves anyway, usually at worst time, least expected, or at unfavorable situation for everybody. We can not afford these kinds of risk! __________________ Please do not follow unless your driving REAL 4x4 with LOW! FUN is standard...PAVEMENT is optional.... Plus Jeep Wrangler owner too.

03-08-2006, 07:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Sussi 7.7.86 - 18.6.09 Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 30,971	First of all, Congrulation on your 3,000th post, DHB... Yes, I gave my children honest answer what they want to question us because they deserve my honest answer. I don't beleive to make up fairy tale stories how to make baby... I remember when Danny was over 3 years old and ask me how my tummy get fatter... I explained him that baby is inside and wait until 9 months... He asked me again... How? I answered him: Your mommy & daddy love each other in the bed to make a baby. I let my children watch TV about sex education and also question us, too. They knows about sex and also sex safety, too. They feel good and safe with us because they have no fear to hide anything from us... Your story about your best-friend's son got me Yes I has to agree that it's his mother who expose him like this... Sad... __________________

03-08-2006, 08:13 AM	#12 (permalink)
downing Chai Latte Addict Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,444	wow....I would want to educate my boys early age. they know privvy parts. they know what is wrong or bad even they are young. my oldest son will know if someone touch his privvy. he would tell them no touching i will tell mommy. he is aware of it. I was very young that I was exposured to playboy magazines. It did not harm me in a way but aware of sexuality, sex, condom or whatever before I was educated properly in 5th grade. I would make sure they practice safe sex, hopefully not get a lady preggy...if they ask me honest questions, I will tell them right away, not hesitant like my parents did, they never educated me about sex. It is today society that is being exposured at early age, I have known a kid who was 9 yrs old that had his first sex (no kidding).... I am ok with magazines that explains about sex or sexuality..it helps and educate the younger generation better than it was in our time. I agree w Leibing that I would want my kids to be safe and feel comfortable asking me everything they want to know.

03-08-2006, 04:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
kivinlee Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2	No,it's dangerous for children No,I won't let my children read those magazines,it's dangerous for them. Also I've put "NetDog Internet Filter" on my computer, so they can't get touch with Internet Porn Contents.Protect children from sexual materials.

03-08-2006, 05:02 PM	#14 (permalink)
Heath Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 7,986	As an uncle to 10+ kids. I don't want my nephews or nieces reading that garbage the public schools force upon my kids. If they want to know about sex. It is best to ask me or ask my church pastor or their parents or my mother ( their grandmother ) which is much, much more safer than what those radical left wing liberal public school teachers are trying to force on the kids with their sexual propangda which in reality causes more sex, diease and teenage pregnancy and suicide. There are church literature on the topic about sex and it explains the dangers of the " so called safer sex " in a Biblical content with today's reality message to help the teenagers know and understand more about sex in a safe, responsible and Biblical manner. Children and teenagers are not ready for sex. They have a whole life ahead of them and I am not going to support sexual immoral messages at all either. Sex can damage lives in the worst way anytime it is not confined to the married bedroom. Sex is reserved for the married bedroom only and the parents are to have sexual relations in the married bedroom as God has said. Nothing else can be added. Liebling, To let you know.... Martin Luther of the German Protestant Church would be rolling around in his grave very disturbed at today's German children, teenagers and parents.

03-08-2006, 05:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
GalaxyAngel That's me! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Alberta,Canada Posts: 13,626	Important Education for Grade 5 to up... Yes.. Let them know how much protection sex safer and much more details... Don't you agree w/Sex Education.... what happen them young children will get preggy or hiv or else... Who fault.. YOU... not School fault reason parent fault refused allow your child learning Sex Education early stage.. I let my children okay learn Sex Education unless Grade 5 to up.. Not Grade 4.. espicaly my last son knows about sex meaning... "Making Love" I cannot blame my little son because of can hear outside from children talking and teenagers wherebouts anywhere ... Don't forget that.. includes as same TV and others stuff.. Do you expecting banned whole thing... Your child will happend become 1.. Your decision not our fault not their fault.. Nope... who fault it's YOU! You made the choice! __________________ Parent's proud our children.

03-08-2006, 05:46 PM	#17 (permalink)
Reba Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 20,799	I didn't say that kids should be taught about sex. I said that the glitzy teen magazine approach was not appropriate. I think the setting and curriculum used are very important. Ideally, the parents should take care of business. If the parents turn that responsibility over to schools, then they need to carefully check out the way it is presented. The curriculum should be age appropriate, and it should not be a "how to do it better" class. Girls and boys should attend separate classes. The schools should be required to fully disclose the curriculum in advance for the parents to look over, and they should require permission forms. I think we, as a society, should quit glamorizing pre-marital and extra-marital sex, and unwed motherhood. There should be more emphasis on morality and self-control, and less emphasis on instant gratification and selfishness. What happened to modesty, self-respect and good reputations? Yeah, the urging of hormones is strong but we are not animals, so we don't have to surrender to our instincts. But if you feed those desires with outside stimuli (pictures, movies, immodest dress) then the urges become stronger, not lesser. It makes sense to reduce temptations and stimulation if you don't want your kids to become sexually active. It's no wonder that kids are so curious about sex when they see there is always so much emphasis on it.

05-16-2006, 08:56 PM	#23 (permalink)
lilylover72 I love purple! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: USA Posts: 2,939	I dont allow my son read playboy! I will teach him about sex, diease, pregnact and money and lifes. He is only 8 years old. My stepson told me that he broke his virgan when he was 12 years old. He learned about it himself with a girl because they kissed and fellt so horny and they did it. I was a kid, I never want have any sex because my uncle messed me up. I thought sex was so sick. I didnt understand what is love with sex until I was teenager. I learned from a teacher who taught me sex education. My mom had me when she was 16. She asked me to not have sex or would be end like her. I said I dont want have any sex because I never had any love with a boy. My mom told me that If I find a boyfriend and fall in love with him and might want have sex then I should tell her about it before I do it. I had lot of think. I met a boyfriend and I told him that I want to wait and i want to talk to my mom first. He respected me. My mom got me birth control when I was 16 years old. My mom said I cannot have sex in her house but I can have sex in somewhere. My mom and I are very close and I thank her for so open mind. I would teach my son to not have sex until he get old. He can choose have sex or not when he will be 18. My husband never had any sex until he was 18 years old. I taught my stepdaugher that she was 13 years old. She trust me. She never had any sex until she was 18.

03-07-2007, 03:43 PM	#28 (permalink)
jillio Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 32,396	Yes, I would allow it. Thinking that teen agers will wait until marraige to engage in sexual activity is unrealistic. They will hav esex, and you can either teach them how to be responsible, or you can bury your head in the sand and risk exposure to STDs and teen pregnancy.

03-07-2007, 04:01 PM	#29 (permalink)
Kuifje75 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah Posts: 438	I remember these BRAVO magazines when I was growing up. I agree, it is not a porn magazine at all, far from it. It is like two pages out of the whole magazine that talks about sex, and the rest of magazine talks about movies, actors, rumours, bands, music, etc... I don't see what the big deal is. I think with our culture being revolutionised by the cinema, the internet, the television, and so on, it is wise to educate our children about sex. I had my sex ed class in middle school when I was about 11 years old, and I thought it was a good class to teach us to become responsible adults. __________________ Megvan a repülőjegyem, az útlevelem, kész vagyok az útazásra.

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