Should Parents Push Kids To Succeed?....

To push or not to push, that is the question....

Everytime I put my children into sports, I see some parents yelling and screaming at their children if they weren't playing well during football , basketball or any other type of sport....

And I wouldn't do that, I would allow my children to be in a sport to gain experience and have fun whether they win or lose a game, it should be something that they will enjoy playing rather than being pushed around by their parents for the way they are playing.....

We can help and encourage our children to practice more at home, no matter how much they may improve before the next game or event, but pushing them in a way that isn't fun for them or doing so just for the parent's sake, after all, their success will be depended by their own willingness and the encouragements and also, it's about having fun and a good time.....

What do you feel about this as a parent? Let's discuss....

Good thread, ^Angel^!

I agree with you that parents shouldn't push their kids too hard or put them down if they don't do well in sports. What they can do is to encourage their kids to do well and praise them if they are doing well in sports. But if the kids aren't doing well in sports then the parents should not get mad at them because that would lower the kids' esteem. The kids then may not want to take part in sports anymore.

I remember my friend had two sons who were very confident, outgoing, happy boys. They invited me to come to some of their little league games. From knowing how confidents and self-assured these boys were, I expected them to be star players. They weren't. They were just average.

They were confident and well adjusted because Mom and Dad made them feel loved and valued.

It is important to encourage your kids to do their best and try hard at anything they do. It doesn't do children any good to berate them or make them feel like failures. Chldren are an empty vessel - as a parent, you fill them with any message you want.

Wow, you girls made some great posts, well said to you both!!

wow, It's no sense that the parents are angry and yell on their children because they are not good sport enough... *sigh*

Sports are not important but education. Sports are just fun and games... My boys always have my support no matter what... either they are lost or win...

Heath said:

I have seen on Spike TV ( Men's tv channel ) of parents fighting during football... I kinda thought it was funny but yeah they gotta set a good example to the kids.

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Funny? I don't think it's funny but immature childish... It's bad example for the kids... *shake the head disgust*

Good Thread there ^Angel^,

Any kids should experience the joy of participating in some sports. I don't believe in pushing either, If they want to join sports, I'll allow them to join. It's not all about winning or losing, it's all about having fun participating in sports. It should be a great experience for both the parents and for the kids. We don't need to push our kids over the edge of stress, Winning or losing we should be proud of our kids no matter what.

Cheri said:

Winning or losing we should be proud of our kids no matter what.

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Very true... but for children, not... My boys are grumpy when they lost their games... because they don't like the word "lost"... awwww... I them telling them that they will win next time... awwww... Win or lost doesn't bother me really but for children, not... You know what the children are...

Liebling:-))) said:

Very true... but for children, not... My boys are grumpy when they lost their games... because they don't like the word "lost"... awwww... I them telling them that they will win next time... awwww... Win or lost doesn't bother me really but for children, not... You know what the children are...

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Yes, I am aware of that. I pointed out how well they played, and that's what makes them feel good that their parents are proud of how they played. I also take them to get icecream if they lose a game too, I want them to know that they played the best they could possible can and did their very best out there in the game. It always works.

Yes I second that, Cheri.

Yes I pushed my nephew to do better at everything.

Many parents pushed kids to do well at school and study hard and make good grades.

Why not pushed kids to do well in sports or be on stage or whatever????

It was interesting to watch my daughter's basketball Grand Final - cheers, screaming, hand-fist, yelling, screaming "C'mon", "way to go", clapping , and so on

As I am not the only one staying in silence or doing nothing apart from watching with no reaction?

I praised her for her achievement to win or lost as I always telling her its only a game, and she works very hard at practise/training and competition games.

Yelling at children when they are doing bad at sport is WRONG, its pushing down their confident.

If she want to quit, I let her drop out at once.

Miss*Pinocchio said:

Yes I pushed my nephew to do better at everything.

Many parents pushed kids to do well at school and study hard and make good grades.

Why not pushed kids to do well in sports or be on stage or whatever????

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You don't push them but to encourage them by doing better....

Tamara said:

It was interesting to watch my daughter's basketball Grand Final - cheers, screaming, hand-fist, yelling, screaming "C'mon", "way to go", clapping , and so on

As I am not the only one staying in silence or doing nothing apart from watching with no reaction?

I praised her for her achievement to win or lost as I always telling her its only a game, and she works very hard at practise/training and competition games.

Yelling at children when they are doing bad at sport is WRONG, its pushing down their confident.

If she want to quit, I let her drop out at once.

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I totally agree with you, and I'm the same way as you are, if my children wants to quit then I will let them.....I only allow them to join sport if they want to join....I do not force my children to join sports because I had when I was in school.....


Both of my children loves football even I may not approve that type of sport but if they really want to join, I will allow them and my oldest son is on the high school football team, he plays very well too and I'm very proud of him....

Thank you once again everyone to posting your views and opinions on this thread, there are many great suggestion and good points too.....

Keep it coming

Tiger Wood's father pushed his son to play golf, and Tiger is a millionaire.

Miss*Pinocchio said:

Tiger Wood's father pushed his son to play golf, and Tiger is a millionaire.

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I am sure that Tiger Wood's father encouraged him with some kind encouraging words to do his best in golf.

What ^Angel^ and the rest of us are saying is some parents would push their kids with unkind words. Some bad examples that some parents say to their kids are:
"Why did you lose?"
"Why can't you win?"
"You make me feel embarrassed whenever you don't do well in your sport."
"Why can't you be like that athlete who have never lost?"
"You better win the next time or else!"
"If you don't win I will punish you."
"You were too lazy to win."
"You played awful."
"You can't do anything right."
and so on.........

Parents should encourage their kids to do their best. Some good examples parents can tell their kids are:
"I am so proud of you even though you didn't win but you have played your best."
"We will practice some more to improve on your skills."
"You are improving a bit and keep it up."
"Don't give up."
"If something was bothering you that you didn't play well in your sport and need to talk about it then I will be here to listen to you."
and so on...........

Parents should talk with their kids to make sure if it is what they really want to play in the sport or not. Parents should never push their kids to do something that they do not want to.