Self-Esteem vs low self-esteem - Page 6

Angel · 12-06-2005, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

If my child was killed, yes, I would feel lost, sad, and angry, but that has nothing to do with self-esteem. The only way that could effect my self-esteem is if I was somehow responsible for my child's death. Self-esteem means being proud of yourself. What would my child's death have to do with my pride? Self-esteem would say, "I don't deserve having my child die!" See, self-esteem means "it's all about ME!"

To me, self-esteem is your own personal feelings, it doesn't always apply to being " proud" or " pride " maybe to you but not to me.....not in the way you're thinking....

Quote:

No, it is the opposite. People kill themselves because they focus too much on their own pain and problems. They are actually selfish because they think, "I want to stop MY pain. I don't care if my suicide breaks the hearts of my parents, spouse, children, friends. The only thing important is MY feelings."

YOU don't know what it like to be in their shoes, it may be easy for you to say all those things above yet you don't know what it like.....I love my grandfather very much, and yes I was really sad and mad at him for ending his own life I wish he could have told someone etc maybe someone could have helped him etc, only if people like him would talk about their feelings instead of hold them all inside and let it built up to the point where they want to end their life, my friend from school killed himself too, and I don't think of it as being selfish, but more to the point where I felt helpless by not knowing something was wrong....So you and I see things differently when it comes to people who wants to kill themselves....Maybe you don't have much of a pity for those who do so, but to me I DO and I wanted to help them in any way I can....I'm not going to say those things you said above cause I know it won't help the situation any bit when someone decide to do that....I've done it b4 myself when I was younger and It wasn't like what you've said above not caring about others etc...

Even through you and I don't agree alot of things, but at least I respect your viewpoint....

I rather not to discuss this anymore cause it gets the point of no where when it comes to discussing about self-esteem.....Have a great day now!

Angel · 12-06-2005, 06:03 AM

Christ-esteem? hmmm.....Jesus wouldn't go around grossip about someone behind their back, nor He would cuss or insult someone either....or spend 4 years trying hurt someone by getting others involved or to lie to cover the entire story...

If someone say they believe in Christ-esteem, make sure you're really following God 100% ....

Just my two cents worth :-/

12-06-2005, 06:25 AM

Liebling-

I've said it to you already so I will not discuss about this because it wastes my time.

Momoftwo

12-06-2005, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberRed

Hi Momoftwo

Here's the link I would like for you to go to :

CHRIST ESTEEM
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/089...lance&n=283155

( Click on the image and it will take you there to read what's inside the book...it gives you an example what these book is all about before purchasin'. I hope it helps... better than my explanation. lol )

Hi CyberRed

Yesterday, I went to the bookstore, Borders and I asked the lady for help me to find the book and she said sorry we don't have it. I will go to a different bookstore today in another town. Thanks so much for your suggestion about the book. By the way, you and Reba are so amazed!!!! I thank you and Reba for your time and patience with everyone on this message board. I know it is very difficult to understand what really self-esteem and christian-esteem really mean. Most people that I've known have "low"self-esteem but have learned but for me I have not learned until after my mother's death and it changed so much because my mother protected me a lot so this is why I have not learned how to overcome and improve. I think it is normal for people to have low self-esteem because it is what it is supposed to have them to learn - some are early and some are late - mine is late. I don't think about myself that much - just little but I think about other people a lot like I want to see people to be happy, I worry about other people like that. That's me because I have a big heart that I care about other people so much like help the poor. So, anyway I hope that the other bookstore has that book...if not, then I will need to order it thru online.

Thanks so much!!

Momoftwo

Liebling:-))) · 12-06-2005, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

Yes, Jesus died for our sins almost 2,000 years ago but don't forget that He also was resurrected and is alive now. He is not gone.

Where is Jesus? Because I need him and his help.

Quote:

Perhaps you feel that "God and Jesus are not there for us" but you can speak for yourself only. Many of other people (myself included) feel that Jesus is here for us.

Should I pray God and Jesus EVERYTIME to beg them to give me anything what I need? No, because I know Jesus is DEAD and live in heaven and watch us proud how/what we cope our life without their help/support. They would not like us to do EVERYTHING for them and their favor but worry our family life and cope our life.

I know my question sound stupid

Liebling:-))) · 12-06-2005, 08:41 AM

[quote]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

If my child was killed, yes, I would feel lost, sad, and angry, but that has nothing to do with self-esteem.

Yes, it's do with self-esteem because you has a feeling. You feel low after lost your love one.

Quote:

The only way that could effect my self-esteem is if I was somehow responsible for my child's death. Self-esteem means being proud of yourself. What would my child's death have to do with my pride? Self-esteem would say, "I don't deserve having my child die!" See, self-esteem means "it's all about ME!"

Yes, I know what you mean. It's normal for people feeling like this sometimes after lost their love one. Example about my good friend who lost her husband to heart stroke last July. I have good patience with her and be good listen to her. She often said that she should not go off to mother for lunch after row with her husband due his aggressive mood. He died unexpectly 30 minutes after she left. It's soooo bad for her because she wasn't realize why his aggressive comes is PAIN in his body - He told her to go hell because he doesn't feel well... I comfort her a lot as I can... I told her to not feel bad because her husband also didn't know why he got aggressive himself.... we chat a lot... we went to shopping together a lot. She has a very low self-esteem. I am with her and her pain. It will takes her long long long time to improve her self-esteem.

Your post sound that you has NO feeling how the people suffer their pain. I has a feeling for people's pain.

Would you consider my friend as pride person? Oh dear... I can't beleive this.

Quote:

No, it is the opposite. People kill themselves because they focus too much on their own pain and problems. They are actually selfish because they think, "I want to stop MY pain. I don't care if my suicide breaks the hearts of my parents, spouse, children, friends. The only thing important is MY feelings."

No it's the opposite... The people who have low self-esteem end to kill themselves because they NEED someone to talk with... They suffer their pain... No to very low self-esteem people doesn't bother to focus themselves too much because they don't care about themselves - kill themselves to have their peaceful and no suffer pain.

Would you consider my friend as selfish person who suffer depression, tempt sucide, broke person after lose her loving husband after married for 29 years? She often said how happy she is to have me as her friend. I told her to promise me to not tempt to kill herself but consider her 19 years old son.

Would you consider me as selfish person to focus to find out why the children's misbehavior come from because I'm interesting to know about them?

Your post sound that you has no feeling and have no pity fot them or what?

Maria · 12-06-2005, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momoftwo

Hi CyberRed

Yesterday, I went to the bookstore, Borders and I asked the lady for help me to find the book and she said sorry we don't have it. I will go to a different bookstore today in another town. Thanks so much for your suggestion about the book. By the way, you and Reba are so amazed!!!! I thank you and Reba for your time and patience with everyone on this message board. I know it is very difficult to understand what really self-esteem and christian-esteem really mean. Most people that I've known have "low"self-esteem but have learned but for me I have not learned until after my mother's death and it changed so much because my mother protected me a lot so this is why I have not learned how to overcome and improve. I think it is normal for people to have low self-esteem because it is what it is supposed to have them to learn - some are early and some are late - mine is late. I don't think about myself that much - just little but I think about other people a lot like I want to see people to be happy, I worry about other people like that. That's me because I have a big heart that I care about other people so much like help the poor. So, anyway I hope that the other bookstore has that book...if not, then I will need to order it thru online.

Thanks so much!!

Momoftwo

Hi Momoftwo,

Yep, I did tried to check at Noble & Barnes - they told me they do not have it and said it may take about a week or 2 for the book to arrive. I like to purchase it ready on the shelves on the same day.

Yeah, that would be a good idea to order thru online, if there isn't any book store that have it. I also suggest you to try "Experiencin' God" book... that book is VERY GOOD book. You can also type "Experiencing God" in search box and it will take you there. These book is very encouragin' book - it talks about how to communicate with God in relationship. Very beautiful book ! I love that book.
God wants to have a relationship with everyone so much.

You are very much welcome !

( Lieblin', my apologizes if, my post is off topic. )

DreamDeaf · 12-06-2005, 12:23 PM

I had to go back to the beginning of the thread...

Liebling darling was talking about KIDS, SELF-ESTEEM and BONDING...nothing about being a Christian, Christ-esteem, the Bible or personal adult problems...as I thought so in the first place.

I know sometimes posts seem too long to read all the way through, and we "skim" over them - and that's where the problem starts.

When we read "between the lines" we often imagine that others are talking about us, and then the accusations start...and darts go flying back and forth.

That is a habit we have to stop.

A big clue to this thread... the forum it is in. It's in the PARENTING forum, not ON-TOPIC DEBATES, not THE CLOSET, not GENERAL CHAT... but a very specific forum geared towards people with children.

I think it's time we stop assigning blame to everyone, calm down, and then start talking about self-esteem in kids... I'd like to know more about this and how this could pertain to my goddaughter.

Please stop making this a personal issue. Let's get back on track. You want personal, go to General Chat or On-Topic Debates. Maybe even Relationships. Our personal problems has no place here, period.

IslandGal · 12-06-2005, 12:26 PM

Hey lets

and forget about this. That includes me too.

Liebling:-))) · 12-06-2005, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueButterfly

Hey lets

and forget about this. That includes me too.

Okay, you are forgiven...

Liebling:-))) · 12-06-2005, 12:41 PM

Please don´t spoil my good thread...

Can you go back and stick my good thread for me please... ?

12-06-2005, 02:03 PM

You're gonna make Baby Jesus weep with such dirt you reveal!

DD, you're the best, babe!

12-06-2005, 02:35 PM

Hi,

I'm very sorry that some of you are really sad and angry. I didn't know that many deaf people have low self-esteem which is really sad.

I hope some of you work things out real soon PRIVATELY - not on this public forum.

Good luck!

Momoftwo

DreamDeaf · 12-06-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momoftwo

I'm very sorry that some of you are really sad and angry. I didn't know that many deaf people have low self-esteem which is really sad. I hope some of you work things out real soon PRIVATELY - not on this public forum.
Momoftwo

*sigh*

*shrugs*

Hope that the posts that do not have anything to do with Liebling's orginal intent are completely deleted...and life can go on.

IslandGal · 12-06-2005, 03:50 PM

Hey hey .........everyone needs to chill. From now on everyone needs to use PM instead of writing it all down in here where it is all out in the open. Like I said in my earlier post about there is no need to write down personal stories for us to read. If someone is angry at someone then use PM.

Cheri · 12-06-2005, 04:04 PM

Well, I am going to admit my wrong doing, and for that reason I am more mature enough to even admit it, I was wrong for bringing personal conflicts in open public forum, And I know I was breaking the rules of AllDeaf. I apology for my action here from the bottom of my heart. Moderators are free to remove any posts that was uncall for by me. I do understand the rules that applied here in AD, And I know I was bashing on an member of AD. Now, Instead of finger-pointing all this blame on me, Step back and take a good look at yourself here, You're no better than me. Now that I've admit my wrong doing, Alex nor the moderators can give me 12 hours banned or a warning I'll be more than glad to take it, because I deserved it, as such as some of you here deserved it too.

That's all I wanted to say. Peace.

Liebling:-))) · 12-06-2005, 04:15 PM

Cheri

I love your post to knowledge about your mistake... Your post make me like you more and more... I alway know that you are a good person. I admire you to stand what you know .

I

you

CyberRed, I hope you also make your post here to stand your mistake, too and then forget what we made our posts here and go back to stick my thread.

TweetyBird · 12-06-2005, 04:25 PM

damn! i cant believe that... i read all threads... *smh*

Peachy Lady · 12-06-2005, 04:54 PM

That was big of you, Cheri to admit you did wrong. How about burying the hatchet, Cyberred with Cheri, Angel and Roadrunner? This was old feud that was going on for years. None of us like it and all of us need to forget and forgive. Life is way too short to stay mad at each other. Please?? I love allll of you! Once all of you bury hatchet, promise not to backstab here or anywhere else, everyone will be happy for it.

12-06-2005, 05:00 PM

This is Chris

After I read this thread, I can image three pews, left, middle, and right in a church. The attendants on left pews got disagreed with others on right pew over personal things in the past which we didn't interest to hear in the house of God. Remember God watch over, couldn't jump and help others why? of course God expects us to struggle themselves to prove God that we had to learn to accompany our goals to fullfill God. Oh yes I do know that pray so hard will get God's blessing to show that you never give up. Self Esteem, oh boy is the part of the flesh, mind, and heart. You know Self Esteem is one thing on the world we have to struggle to accept. God created us what he chose so the fact that he expects you all to accept what you are now, no matter how is your look, weight, color, and intelligence. You know I watch on tv program like PBN ( I forget what how to spell, you know religious brodcast), eekkkk!!!! a aging lady with pink hairdo, very thick make up, look like a clone of Tammy Faye. You see that channel is which I ain't fond of.... because they show the attendants that being beautiful to represent themselves as "divine." I remember once in past my old pastor told that demons are everywhere, their duties are to make humans losing the faith on God, you see why some of us failing to fillfull to appericate God.

Sadly, look at this thread, that is sign of failure... on faith and understanding.

Reba · 12-06-2005, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ^Angel^

...YOU don't know what it like to be in their shoes, it may be easy for you to say all those things above yet you don't know what it like....

How do you know that? You really don't know everything that I have experienced or felt.

Quote:

...Maybe you don't have much of a pity for those who do so, but to me I DO and I wanted to help them in any way I can....

Again I say, you don't know how I feel about real people in my life. What makes you think that I don't want to help people? There are many real people I have cared about and helped. Caring means more than mushy feelings. It means actually doing something to help someone, even if it is painful in the process.

Quote:

....I've done it b4 myself when I was younger and It wasn't like what you've said above not caring about others etc...

But you didn't go thru with it. See, that is the difference.

Anyway, back to the topic of self-esteem. The definition from www.dictionary.com is:

self-es·teem (slf-stm)
n.
Pride in oneself; self-respect.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

self-esteem

n 1: a feeling of pride in yourself [syn: self-pride]

Using the above definition, I don't understand how the death of a child would effect someone's "feeling of pride" or "pride in oneself". Deep sorrow shouldn't be about pride.

Reba · 12-06-2005, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))

[color=Blue]Should I pray God and Jesus EVERYTIME to beg them to give me anything what I need? No, because I know Jesus is DEAD and live in heaven....

Jesus is not dead. He was dead for three days and nights only. He has been alive since then.

Quote:

...and watch us proud how/what we cope our life without their help/support. They would not like us to do EVERYTHING for them and their favor but worry our family life and cope our life.

That contradicts what the Bible says. Jesus wants us to humble ourselves and praise Him for giving us His strength and grace. He doesn't like us to brag about ourselves. Jesus said for us to put ALL our worries on Him.

Reba · 12-06-2005, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))

[color=Blue]... because they don't care about themselves - kill themselves to have their peaceful and no suffer pain.

That is the point. They care too much about themselves; that is why their pain is magnified because they focus on it.

Quote:

Would you consider my friend as selfish person who suffer depression, tempt sucide... I told her to promise me to not tempt to kill herself but consider her 19 years old son.

Exactly. If she focuses on other people (her promise to you and for her son) then she will not kill herself. If she focuses on her own pain and loss she will want to kill herself.

Quote:

Your post sound that you has no feeling and have no pity fot them or what?

Pity is not enough. Pity doesn't help anyone. Action helps. Your friend is grateful to you, not for your pity, but for the help that you gave her.

Roadrunner · 12-06-2005, 11:30 PM

*off-Mod status*

First and foremost: I harbor no favoritism, nor do I resort to taking sides yet remain nuetral here in AD....

With that in mind--the things that have been mentioned here or stated about my past as relationship goes, statements directed at either of the twins, the finger-pointing towards other members NEEDS to stop, here...and now. Personal feelings over something that took place several years ago needs to be done away with and put behind ALL of us and move forward.

If this will help cease (stop) the on-going nonsense once for all, something which did take place about 4 yrs. ago, I'll say this and then forever hold my peace while treasuring my love for the one I'm about to marry....If there was someone to be blamed, or to place fault upon, it's me--no one else is to be blamed, not ^Angel^, not Cheri...surely, I regret it, watching over the years, the pain, the frustrations of something that simply could have been done away with long ago...each one of us had some part in it, but most of us have found a way to forgive and at least try to move on, yet, despite the on-going nonsense which drew more and more ppls. into it, creating more finger-pointing, bashing, group against group, placing blame on this person or that person, etc etc. All I ever wish and desire for is that this would cease and the things personal kept out of AD...I am fully aware that there are other on-line forums that do cater or resort to that, but as for Alldeaf, we adhere to standards of respect, diligently and striving to maintain an overall image that everyone can identify themselves with and truly enjoy being a part of....Once again, I'll say, for whatever did ha

12-06-2005, 12:41 PM	#161 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Hiiiiiii it's meeeeee Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 24,839	Please don´t spoil my good thread... Can you go back and stick my good thread for me please... ? __________________ sniffing you

12-06-2005, 03:50 PM	#165 (permalink)
IslandGal Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 4,167	Hey hey .........everyone needs to chill. From now on everyone needs to use PM instead of writing it all down in here where it is all out in the open. Like I said in my earlier post about there is no need to write down personal stories for us to read. If someone is angry at someone then use PM. Last edited by VamPyroX; 12-07-2005 at 01:15 AM. Reason: removed "Galaxyangel" after "hey hey" and "that includes you too"

12-06-2005, 04:04 PM	#166 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: All I wanted was a white knight with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse, ride me off into the sunset Posts: 20,231	Well, I am going to admit my wrong doing, and for that reason I am more mature enough to even admit it, I was wrong for bringing personal conflicts in open public forum, And I know I was breaking the rules of AllDeaf. I apology for my action here from the bottom of my heart. Moderators are free to remove any posts that was uncall for by me. I do understand the rules that applied here in AD, And I know I was bashing on an member of AD. Now, Instead of finger-pointing all this blame on me, Step back and take a good look at yourself here, You're no better than me. Now that I've admit my wrong doing, Alex nor the moderators can give me 12 hours banned or a warning I'll be more than glad to take it, because I deserved it, as such as some of you here deserved it too. That's all I wanted to say. Peace. __________________

12-06-2005, 04:15 PM	#167 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Hiiiiiii it's meeeeee Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 24,839	Cheri I love your post to knowledge about your mistake... Your post make me like you more and more... I alway know that you are a good person. I admire you to stand what you know . I you CyberRed, I hope you also make your post here to stand your mistake, too and then forget what we made our posts here and go back to stick my thread. __________________ sniffing you

12-06-2005, 04:25 PM	#168 (permalink)
TweetyBird LOOK AT ILY MAGNETS! Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 21,206	damn! i cant believe that... i read all threads... smh __________________ Hi everyone, if you interesting to look at my crafts and if u have myspace then add this http://www.myspace.com/craftsqueen and if u dont have myspace then u can email me craftslady2008@gmail.com OR PM me here...

Today
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12-06-2005, 06:03 AM	#152 (permalink)
Angel Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 18,695	Christ-esteem? hmmm.....Jesus wouldn't go around grossip about someone behind their back, nor He would cuss or insult someone either....or spend 4 years trying hurt someone by getting others involved or to lie to cover the entire story... If someone say they believe in Christ-esteem, make sure you're really following God 100% .... Just my two cents worth :-/

12-06-2005, 06:25 AM	#153 (permalink)
Momoftwo Guest Posts: n/a	Liebling- I've said it to you already so I will not discuss about this because it wastes my time. Momoftwo

12-06-2005, 12:23 PM	#158 (permalink)
DreamDeaf Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a messy studio Posts: 4,562	I had to go back to the beginning of the thread... Liebling darling was talking about KIDS, SELF-ESTEEM and BONDING...nothing about being a Christian, Christ-esteem, the Bible or personal adult problems...as I thought so in the first place. I know sometimes posts seem too long to read all the way through, and we "skim" over them - and that's where the problem starts. When we read "between the lines" we often imagine that others are talking about us, and then the accusations start...and darts go flying back and forth. That is a habit we have to stop. A big clue to this thread... the forum it is in. It's in the PARENTING forum, not ON-TOPIC DEBATES, not THE CLOSET, not GENERAL CHAT... but a very specific forum geared towards people with children. I think it's time we stop assigning blame to everyone, calm down, and then start talking about self-esteem in kids... I'd like to know more about this and how this could pertain to my goddaughter. Please stop making this a personal issue. Let's get back on track. You want personal, go to General Chat or On-Topic Debates. Maybe even Relationships. Our personal problems has no place here, period.

12-06-2005, 12:26 PM	#159 (permalink)
IslandGal Registered User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 4,167	Hey lets and forget about this. That includes me too.

12-06-2005, 02:03 PM	#162 (permalink)
Cookie Monster Guest Posts: n/a	You're gonna make Baby Jesus weep with such dirt you reveal! DD, you're the best, babe!

12-06-2005, 02:35 PM	#163 (permalink)
Momoftwo Guest Posts: n/a	Hi, I'm very sorry that some of you are really sad and angry. I didn't know that many deaf people have low self-esteem which is really sad. I hope some of you work things out real soon PRIVATELY - not on this public forum. Good luck! Momoftwo

12-06-2005, 04:54 PM	#169 (permalink)
Peachy Lady Not from Georgia. Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,068	That was big of you, Cheri to admit you did wrong. How about burying the hatchet, Cyberred with Cheri, Angel and Roadrunner? This was old feud that was going on for years. None of us like it and all of us need to forget and forgive. Life is way too short to stay mad at each other. Please?? I love allll of you! Once all of you bury hatchet, promise not to backstab here or anywhere else, everyone will be happy for it. __________________

12-06-2005, 05:00 PM	#170 (permalink)
Cookie Monster Guest Posts: n/a	This is Chris After I read this thread, I can image three pews, left, middle, and right in a church. The attendants on left pews got disagreed with others on right pew over personal things in the past which we didn't interest to hear in the house of God. Remember God watch over, couldn't jump and help others why? of course God expects us to struggle themselves to prove God that we had to learn to accompany our goals to fullfill God. Oh yes I do know that pray so hard will get God's blessing to show that you never give up. Self Esteem, oh boy is the part of the flesh, mind, and heart. You know Self Esteem is one thing on the world we have to struggle to accept. God created us what he chose so the fact that he expects you all to accept what you are now, no matter how is your look, weight, color, and intelligence. You know I watch on tv program like PBN ( I forget what how to spell, you know religious brodcast), eekkkk!!!! a aging lady with pink hairdo, very thick make up, look like a clone of Tammy Faye. You see that channel is which I ain't fond of.... because they show the attendants that being beautiful to represent themselves as "divine." I remember once in past my old pastor told that demons are everywhere, their duties are to make humans losing the faith on God, you see why some of us failing to fillfull to appericate God. Sadly, look at this thread, that is sign of failure... on faith and understanding.