HeartGirl

I don't think we should teach each other to deny about themselves.
Pride is the word.
I rather have friends who are not afraid to tell me the truth.
Some Husbands always tell their wives they love them for who they are,
but the truth is no... they often cheat with slim women.
I know what the Bible said, but I really want to know what you think.
I know the truth hurts. I like this kind of friendly conversation....

Me: "I'm ugly"
Person: "True, but I wish to hang out with you."
Me: "Why?"
Person: "Because you're an interesting person."

Deafness

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

Liebling:-)))

Yes, I know what form of esteems. I will make further post about myself tomorrow... *it´s time for my bedtime*...

Yes, it´s correct what you said about your sister and low esteem...
Domestic volience expose partner and also children, too because they witness it. I know what it alike because I had been through with my mother and her 3 husbands in the past.

Well, it´s not just domestic volience but form of abuses to affect children´s self-esteem.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Liebling:-)))

This bible, the author wrote is their own opinion after use their scriptures...

Let to talk about our esteem, please.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Liebling:-)))

Very true, Vampy.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Reba

I wasn't comparing respect to obedience.

I meant that children obeying their parents is a way for them to show their respect for their parents. If children don't obey their parents they are showing disrespect for them.

Respect is more than feelings or words; it is action, doing.

Just like you show your respect for your children by paying attention to them. See, respect is not just "feeling" but action. You show your respect for your children by paying attention to their opinions.

HeartGirl

Thanks.

Liebling:-)))

Thank you.

Yes, with ADD or ADHD children are not very easy job for the parents. It took me over years to help my eldest son who had ADD. Now he doesn´t show his ADD behavior anymore. I use different diets for him, it helps.

All what I do is help him to develop his good and healthy esteem accord my good patience.

__________________

*sniffing you*

HeartGirl

people did crimes because of devil's temptation.

1. desperate to have a new life, leave trouble past behind.
2. want what other people have.
3. wanna get out of debt and poverty.
4. get rid of someone, want that person out of their life.
5. psychological problem

I don't think it has anything to do with self esteem.
For example, "I hurt that person, because I am fat."
No, that wouldn't be that.

Cheri

Omg! "favoritism" "circle of friends" Does that lines sounds familiar to you Liebling? This person is just contradicting herself, should have a taste of her own medicine.


Thank-you! That's what I've been saying. Plus I agree with your post too--well said, you just explain self-esteem!

Oh I know that I was only giving an example of poor self-esteem.


And about kids developing their self-esteem when they do well in school, getting good grade making parents proud and themselves too. It's important pact on us as a parent to show them that they can do it, make them feel important and set their goals high and They will work their way up. Having self-esteem is very important part of our lives, even on kids to especially under peer pressure. Just like Vampy stated, each person is good at something, and each has their own good qualities, It makes them valuable it does help their self-esteem.

__________________

kuifje75

Growing up, I always learned that it was good to have a healthy self-esteem. All the bible passages quote above refer to unhealthy self-esteem. It is my opinion that you bible thumpers are hypocrites if you deny of any self-esteem and so on. Why do you do things to help others? Why do you preach the word and try to open people's eyes to Jesus? Once a person has opened their eyes, you get all the tingly good feeling inside that you "served God." That is a part of self-esteem and self-worth, knowing that you are available to help others. It has nothing to do with excessive pride and greed. It's all about compassion.

Here is what I found from a Buddhism webpage:

Reba

This website, www.coping.org, the authors James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D. wrote their own opinion using psychology.

This website about Buddhism, the author Lama Yeshe wrote his own opinion about self-confidence.

See, we can use a variety of sources, including the Bible, in a discussion about self-esteem, no problem. The more variety of sources, the more interesting discussion.

Just like every other topic, there is more than just one viewpoint about self-esteem.

HeartGirl

It is called Preference.

For example, some people can do well in Math by studying alone
at home. Some people can do well in Math by getting a tutor.
Some people can do well in Math by studying at the library.

Whatever make people happy.

If they like the term and definition and how to deal with self esteem
in the Bible, in the Psychology book, in other reference books...
As long as they understand self esteem. So why argue?

So let people used any tools they can use to help themselves.

Psychology alone doesn't always help. It is interesting to see
how the Bible tell us about self esteem.... because it may help
some people.

Liebling:-)))

Now you know at last that it's authors, not GOD!

I see no problem to have you here to debate agree/disagree with us and have different opinions about self-esteem what you agree to any authors who wrote the bible, physcoholoy eg. but I see here is some people claimed that they OBEY GOD's word because God's word is wiser, Bible is the answer, Bible says, people are afraid of God, etc *sigh* Yes, we KNOW it's God's scriptures in different bibles - every authors use God's scriptures to translate. The people do not need to prove us what God's word says because we know it's not God's word but author who use God's scriputure. The authors, you show me in link, have their physcholoy skills. I'm not saying that I'm agree to ALL but I compared American physcoholoy with German physcoholoy in websites and must say that all what they wrote are SAME but bibles? It's my decision what I agree to any authors's opinions or not. All what I saw the bible here, they talk about high, low and bad esteem, not word about healthy and good esteem until I found link about healthy and good esteem what the bible says in my previous post. The people who beleive bibles misunderstand about self-esteem because they thinks it's "just" self-esteem and claimed that self-esteem are bad...
Of course YOU, ME and everyone have form of self-esteem. Right? I can't see the sense why the people don't beleive in self-esteem? What form of esteem they beleive in? It look like that they think there're NO esteem in us or what?

__________________

*sniffing you*

Maria

Lieblin' --

You wanna to know why I don't believe in self-esteem, right ? Okay, I will tell you why..........

Yesterday, I had a good and looog talk with a deaf friend of mine about ISD school ( Iowa School for the Deaf ). I was explainin' to her what I know about self-esteem. Of course, I told her that I DON'T believe in self-esteem - AFTER what she told me the WHOLE story about what happened at ISD. I was shocked and knew that I was right all along.

*Sigh* Ok, I will tell you about what happened at ISD after she told me the whole story:

There was one man who just got up and get ready for ISD school ( he worked there ). When he arrived at ISD, there was a young 13 years old deaf girl who blocked the "entrance" door to prevent him from goin' in. It was rainin' outside. What shall HE do about it ? He CAN'T remove her from blockin' him. Soo, he called another person about THAT girl who blocked him from goin' inside and he told another person that HE had to go home because, of that girl WON'T let him in.

And, also there was another eposide:
There was one young girl punched with her fist against Staff's right temple when the Staff ENTERED in the dorm room to bring the playin' cards -- just, because the Staff refused to bring it in the first place after she was bein' told it was late and it was time for bed. ( Of course, the Staff gave in what that young girl wanted after the Staff was bein' punched right in the temple. )

It obviously to me that ISD's rules are not good anymore to deaf teens. The deaf teens are now takin' over to control that school - not teachers, or staffs, or houseparents or what ever. Not anymore.

When the teens takin' over in that school to control over, they feel sooo good inside about themselves to have that POWER to make the adults to bend over what the teens wanted. Right now, the teachers, the houseparents, the Staffs and other adults have to GIVE IN what the teens want, because they are IN school. Teens don't care. That feeds off to boost the teens' self-esteem to feel GOOD about themselves when they DO that.
It's WHY I don't believe in self-esteem where it stated to feed off to boost the children what they WANT in order to feel that power. It's all totally WRONG ! Oh, yeah teen can say, "Well, they won't give ME what " I " want. It's why I punched her/him in the face".... Gee - what's the matter with them ( teens ) nowdays, eh ? Teens don't view the adults as their duties to take care of the teens/children. They view the adults as if, they don't exit.

It's why I don't believe in self-esteem - no matter, if it is healthy or not healthy. If, it is healthy - kids will want more, otherwise they will find somethin' to hurt adults to get even just, because of emotional/ psychological problems.

I bet you ONE DAY, if one of the kids don't like somethin' about PARENT at HOME - one of the kids will tell the boss/ or supervisor/ or who ever at school about PARENT, they will lead the parent in arrest and lead the parent away from home, so the kids can take over the house. How would YOU know, if the kids will tell LIE to cover themselves just because, they don't like the rules in the house their parents expect them to follow ? They are NOT over the age of 18 to live their own life. I bet you that teens/children will NOT take "NO" from the parents, if teens/ children don't like somethin' from their parents at home. They are victimizin' their parents, just because they can threat whatever they could make the parents scared, if the parents don't give in what the teens/children want. Gee - WHO taught the teens/ children THAT ? School !

I don't think you will be able to grasp this whole picture IN my view, because I CAN see the children are receivin' their rights more and more than the parents in nowdays............

__________________

Liebling:-)))

No problem, Cheri

You made a lot of good points here about esteem, that I'm agree everything and also examples, too. I like to learn a lot about form of esteem what we have. I'm interesting to focus anything.

No problem, you made good point to try to convince them to not mix between bible "says" and our esteem.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Liebling:-)))

[

I'm trying to explain in my previous about "form" of self-esteem, not just self-esteem.

It’s not just “self-esteem” but form of self-esteem.
Low self-esteem
High self-esteem
Healthy self-esteem
Bad self-esteem
Good self-esteem

Of course everyone including you & me have form of self-esteem. You show your good motivation about God and Bible in other threads what I mean: is you having a good self-esteem to positive your belief and scriptures. That's good self-esteem.

Quote:

It obviously to me that ISD's rules are not good anymore to deaf teens. The deaf teens are now takin' over to control that school - not teachers, or staffs, or houseparents or what ever. Not anymore.

I read your post about ISD School and have to agree with you that what the rules they made is too bad because the Staff negative student’s self-esteem with their form of discipline. It’s unhealthy self-esteem. (Weak discipline to let the children play the boss). I would not put my children to school like this because I won't let anyone boast my children's good self-esteem.

I would write a letter to School Authorities if I found out that they made negative rules to influence my children..

Quote:

There was one man who just got up and get ready for ISD school ( he worked there ). When he arrived at ISD, there was a young 13 years old deaf girl who blocked the "entrance" door to prevent him from goin' in. It was rainin' outside. What shall HE do about it ? He CAN'T remove her from blockin' him. Soo, he called another person about THAT girl who blocked him from goin' inside and he told another person that HE had to go home because, of that girl WON'T let him in.

I have to correct the Staff’s discipline. What will I act when I were Staff.

What a man act is no good. Why? Because it makes a girl motivate her negative self-esteem more.
What and how I do if a girl blocked the entrance door to let me go in. I would not give up and stay long and call Principal to get him/her to check and then call school counselor then police, instead of ask other person then give up and go home because a girl laugh at him and said to herself that she “win” and he “lost”.

Quote:

And, also there was another eposide: There was one young girl punched with her fist against Staff's right temple when the Staff ENTERED in the dorm room to bring the playin' cards -- just, because the Staff refused to bring it in the first place after she was bein' told it was late and it was time for bed. ( Of course, the Staff gave in what that young girl wanted after the Staff was bein' punched right in the temple. )

Who fault? Of course Staffs!!! It’s them who teach children to negative their good self-esteem.

Quote:

When the teens takin' over in that school to control over, they feel sooo good inside about themselves to have that POWER to make the adults to bend over what the teens wanted. Right now, the teachers, the houseparents, the Staffs and other adults have to GIVE IN what the teens want, because they are IN school. Teens don't care. That feeds off to boost the teens' self-esteem to feel GOOD about themselves when they DO that. It's WHY I don't believe in self-esteem where it stated to feed off to boost the children what they WANT in order to feel that power. It's all totally WRONG ! Oh, yeah teen can say, "Well, they won't give ME what " I " want. It's why I punched her/him in the face".... Gee - what's the matter with them ( teens ) nowdays, eh ? Teens don't view the adults as their duties to take care of the teens/children. They view the adults as if, they don't exit. It's why I don't believe in self-esteem - no matter, if it is healthy or not healthy. If, it is healthy - kids will want more, otherwise they will find somethin' to hurt adults to get even just, because of emotional/ psychological problems. I bet you ONE DAY, if one of the kids don't like somethin' about PARENT at HOME - one of the kids will tell the boss/ or supervisor/ or who ever at school about PARENT, they will lead the parent in arrest and lead the parent away from home, so the kids can take over the house. How would YOU know, if the kids will tell LIE to cover themselves just because, they don't like the rules in the house their parents expect them to follow ? They are NOT over the age of 18 to live their own life. I bet you that teens/children will NOT take "NO" from the parents, if teens/ children don't like somethin' from their parents at home. They are victimizin' their parents, just because they can threat whatever they could make the parents scared, if the parents don't give in what the teens/children want. Gee - WHO taught the teens/ children THAT ? School !

[/quote]

No, the parents should fix their firm limit on their children. It’s bad if schools/parents give in their limit and give their children right or keep change their rules all the time which it confused children. Example, the children knows our TV, computer times limit etc. Yes, the children test their parent’s limits but the parents should stick their limit firm instead of “give in”. Limits are the parent’s responsibility. Why? Because limits protect people from physical harm, protect property, prevent psychological harm etc. The children need to expect clear and positive limit. Well, the children sometimes have wonderful ideas and opinions about limits. The parents are more likely to gain their children’s cooperation in the limit – not always agreement. It would be acceptance from the parent’s explanation more if the children ask “whys”.

Why Children Misbehave
http://www.k-state.edu/wwparent/courses/rd/rd4.htm

See explain above. That’s about respect. It’s bad if the parents or school negative children’s self-esteem. It would be great if the parents seeking the help to improve their children’s behavior.

Yes, I know it’s not easy for the parents to deal with teenagers due their puberty time. All what we do is bite our mouth and firm them with our limit.

It explains about children’s development due puberty time.
http://healingwell.healthology.com/h...well/16328.htm

The parents are supposing to check with their children’s school to see either they are good nor not. I would do that if I found out the school is bad example for my children then put my children to other school. Other side: the parents are supposing to support the teacher’s discipline on our children during lesson time. Example: my children have new teacher – we parents have to get to know her/him… We discussed during parental evening to find out what her/his discipline on our children then support her/him and then explain children when we are home about teacher’s discipline. It’s too bad if the parents support the children against teacher all the time, it will negative teacher’s discipline on their children… Why? Because they are afraid that the parents “might” sue them for “touch” their children e.g. As long as the disipline at school is fine, not hurt our children or negative my children's good self-esteem.

Well, I thought the same as you at begin until I realize the reason why the children have more rights is to prevent parent’s form of abuse to affect their self-esteem. We have hot debate at parent’s conference at 10 years ago. They explained the reason and showed us the pictures of children's bodies - burnt them with cigarettes, blue eyes, bruise bodies, etc. It make me cry and understand why they fixed the children protection rights. They explained that the parents thought spanking works to improve their behavior – it won’t stay long… then again and again, and then try other method to hurt their children’s emotional then … work… later then not work… then physical abuse… at last. It looks like the parents tried method to punish the children but it makes them worst… then again…. It could end to kill the children by accidentally. A lot of parents don’t mean to kill their children but want to punish them hard/harsh… it kills them… I began to understand why they fix the law and have to agree to this because I know myself what I had been through in the past. If the parents have the problem to deal with their children’s behavior then go to see counselor, e.g. then they will help them how to improve their children’s behavior.

__________________

*sniffing you*

Angel

I honestly do not know where this thread is heading but some posts don't make quite sense at all....

Anyways I found something on web site which helps me teach my children about " self-esteem ", good thing that I saved the link ...

You can't touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can't see it, but it's there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can't hear it, but it's there every time you talk about yourself. What is this important but mysterious thing? It's your self-esteem!

What Is Self-Esteem?

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's take a look at the word esteem first. Esteem (say: ess-teem) is a fancy word for thinking that someone or something is important or valuing that person or thing. For example, if you really admire your friend's dad because he volunteers at the fire department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

And self means, well, yourself! So put the two words together and it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements.

Self-esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact!). It's not about thinking you're perfect - because nobody is - but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted.



Why Self-Esteem Is Important



Self-esteem isn't like a cool pair of sneakers that you'd love to have but don't have to have. A kid needs to have self-esteem. Good self-esteem is important because it helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, adults and other kids usually respect you, too.

Having good self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices about your mind and body. If you think you're important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or dangerous. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

How Kids Get Self-Esteem

Babies don't see themselves in a good or bad way. They don't think "I'm great!" when they let out a big burp, or "Oh, no, this diaper makes my legs look weird!" Instead, people around a baby help him or her develop self-esteem. How? By encouraging the baby when he or she learns to crawl, walk, or talk. They often say, "Good job. Good for you!" When people take good care of a baby, that also helps him or her feel lovable and valuable.

As kids gets older, they can have a bigger role in developing their self-esteem. Achievements - like getting a good grade on a test or making the All-Star soccer team - are things kids can be proud of. So are having a good sense of humor or being a good friend.

A kid's family and other people in his or her life - like coaches, teammates, and classmates - also can boost his or her self-esteem. They can help a kid figure out how to do things or notice his or her good qualities. They can believe in the kid and encourage him or her to try again when something doesn't go right the first time. It's all part of kids learning to see themselves in a positive way, to feel proud of what they've done, and to be confident that there's a lot more they can do.

A Little on Low Self-Esteem

Maybe you know kids with low self-esteem who don't think very highly of themselves or seem to criticize themselves too much. Or maybe you have low self-esteem and don't always feel very good about yourself or think you're important.

Sometimes a kid will have low self-esteem if his mother or father doesn't encourage him enough or if there is a lot of yelling at home. Other times, a kid's self-esteem can be hurt in the classroom. A teacher may make a kid feel dumb or perhaps there is a bully who says hurtful things.

For some kids, classes at school can seem so hard that they can't keep up or get the grades they'd hoped for. This can make them feel bad about themselves and hurt their self-esteem. Their self-esteem will improve when a teacher, tutor, or counselor encourages them, is patient, and helps them get back on track with learning. When they start to do well, their self-esteem will skyrocket!

And there are some kids who have good self-esteem but then something happens to change that. For example:

If a kid moves and doesn't make friends right away at the new school, he or she might start to feel bad.
A kid whose parents divorce also may find that this can affect self-esteem. He or she may feel unlovable or to blame for the divorce.
A kid who feels too fat or too thin may start thinking that means he or she isn't good enough.
Even going through the body changes of puberty - something that everybody does - can affect a kid's self-esteem.

Boosting Your Self-Esteem



Of course it's OK to have ups and downs in your feelings, but having low self-esteem isn't OK. Feeling like you're not important can make you sad and can keep you from trying new things. It can keep you from making friends or hurt how you do at school. Having strong self-esteem is also a very big part of growing up. As you get older and face tough decisions - especially under peer pressure - the more self-esteem you have, the better. It's important to know you're worth a lot.

If you think you might have low self-esteem, try talking to an adult you trust about it. He or she may be able to help you come up with some good ideas for building your self-esteem.

In the meantime, here are a few things that you can try to increase your self-esteem:

Make a list of the stuff you're good at. It can be anything from drawing or singing to playing a sport or telling a good joke. If you're having trouble with your list, ask your mom or dad to help you with it. Then add a few things to the list that you'd like to be good at. Your mom or dad can help you plan a way to work on those skills or talents.
Give yourself three compliments every day. Don't just say, "I'm so great." Be specific about something good about yourself, like, "I was a good friend to Jill today" or "I did better on that test than I thought I would." While you're at it, before you go to bed every night, list three things in your day that really made you happy.
Remember that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it is. If you are worried about your weight or size, you can check with your doctor to make sure that things are OK. Remind yourself of things about your body that are cool, like, "My legs are strong and I can skate really well."
Remember that there are things about yourself you can't change. You should accept and love these things - such as skin color and shoe size - because they are part of you.
When you hear negative comments in your head, tell yourself to stop. When you do this, you take the power away from the voice inside that discourages you.

By focusing on the good things you do and all your great qualities, you learn to love and accept yourself - the main ingredients for strong self-esteem! Even if you've got room for improvement (and who doesn't?), realizing that you're valuable and important helps your self-esteem to shine.

Self-Esteem

mlkshkgrl

I have very low self esteem. It's pretty depressing. I don't see why some people are saying good self esteem is bad. I wish I had it. Low self esteem is very lonely. It makes you bitter and guarded. And sometimes it makes you wonder why you're here and if you're going to make it through to the next day. I don't think that God wants anyone to feel like that. And as far as those kids at that school, I don't believe that was caused from having self esteem. When most people act out like that its because they are so miserable in their life that they have to bring pain in someone else's just to feel better about themselves. So if those acts are caused by any type of self esteem it would be low self esteem.

__________________

Angel