Does anyone have hearing children...

Roadrunner · 11-07-2004, 11:28 PM

Does anyone have hearing children or neighbor kids that talk back in a bad way behind your back? Hearing children or kids generally tend to think it's nothing when it comes to talking behind a Deaf/Hoh parent or adult...some might go to such an extent knowing we can't hear their verbal rants once we turn our backs on them.

My youngest daughter and a friend of hers had said certain things when I had turned my back on them and after several of these, I approached my daughter in a good way indicating how rude and improper it was of her to say things behind my back when she knew I couldn't hear it well enough, then I compared that situation with her hearing mom and quipped her if she would do the same thing...immediately she said she wouldn't...then I mentioned that it's not only fair that I may not be able to hear everything especially when things are being said behind my back and if you have something to say, be sure to say it to my face and not behind my back! Later on, another friend was with her and her friend started to say something while I had my back turned and then I heard my daughter saying something to her friend and I turned around and could see that my daughter was telling my friend that it wasn't nice to do!

I'm sure several of you have had these sort of situations, how were you able to handle it and what was done? How does it feel?

Opal · 11-07-2004, 11:52 PM

Yes, I am aware of my hearing children do it the same too, BUT I remember I did it the same to my hearing parents when I was little as I was cross with them, and once their turn their back to me, I was using no voice calling their names and sometimes rude gesture to them too!! It is NOT only hearing children taking advantage of deaf parents isn't it? Well???

Roadrunner · 11-08-2004, 12:04 AM

True, not only hearing children are the ones literally taking advantage here, but as with this thread, it's about 'you'...'me' or for any other Deaf/Hoh parent or adult who daily is in contact with 'hearing' children...

But yes, you do have another point and situation that's also considered similar to what this thread is about....

11-08-2004, 11:04 AM

Good thread you have here, RoadRunner

When I first told my daughters that I was getting a cochlear implant last spring, my oldest said No way! I said why not? She said Cos it means we cant talk behind your back anymore!! Needless to say, I was crestfallen and told her how I felt about that. SHe said that she likes to whisper secrets and whatnot to her younger sister, not necessarily talking about ME negatively.

But I still worry nonetheless..I have no idea if they do. But then again, maybe not knowing is the best answer so I won't have to deal with the knowledge LOL.

Last year, she was taking piano lessons. I had to force her to practice daily because her hearing father insisted on that. One day, a hearing friend was sitting with me on the couch. I told my daughter to go practice on the piano. She pouted and went to the piano. Her hands were touching the keys. I thought she was practicing. But my friend said Margaret I know you are faking it. My daughter paled and realized that she forgot that my friend was hearing. SHe never faked it again since.

Kalista · 11-08-2004, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roadrunner

True, not only hearing children are the ones literally taking advantage here, but as with this thread, it's about 'you'...'me' or for any other Deaf/Hoh parent or adult who daily is in contact with 'hearing' children...

But yes, you do have another point and situation that's also considered similar to what this thread is about....

Oh yeah my son was talked behide my back. My friend was with her as he didn't relaize that she can hear what he said. She told me what exactly he said. I was shocked and disgusted. I had a long good talk with a son to find out why would he do this to his own mother. It was 8 years ago.

I have been alot of hearing children take alot of advantage to the Deaf parents. Now, my sons become older, they do talk privacy about other things. Naturally, I asked them what did they talk about? They said nothing and giggle. They said, man to man's conversation. Oh well..

11-08-2004, 11:17 AM

I have hearing son, and he does talk back to me.

Every time I talk to her or ask him to do something, he would roll his eyes and give me the "I don't know" attitudes. Made me mad.

dawn · 11-08-2004, 01:45 PM

Sometimes at dinner, my eleven year old son will talk to his father in a way that I can't understand what he is saying. It is very rude, and I always have to ask my husband to repeat what was said. I'm a lipreader. I think that mostly all children are rude like that. On the other hand, when we are out somewhere, my son always makes sure that people he introduces me to know that I can't hear and that I need to see their lips. I think the rudeness and the consideration that he shows me goes hand in hand. He's just a kid and he probably won't realize how rude some of the things he does to me are until he gets older. The other day he was telling me about his friend Wade. He made sure to spell it for me so I wouldn't get confused with his freind Wayne. I was touched by how thoughtful that was.

Roadrunner · 11-10-2004, 12:48 AM

I'm sure there are more members here that have experienced going through what some hearing children, neighbor kids, etc. or currently dealing with such situations...let's read about them and how do you deal with it and how does it effect you as a Deaf/Hoh parent/adult?

Angel · 11-24-2004, 01:48 PM

Great thread there Roadieerunner!

Oh yes, I've experienced my children and the neighbor's children talking behind my back when I go outside to a situation that was going on between them, and when I had to deal with whatever had happened, they would talk behind my back more of mocking at me, I didn't appericate that one bit, so I had told my children to come inside the house and had a long talk with them about it, it's not nice to talk behind anyone's back and surely it not nice to talk behind their mother's back when she is unable to hear ...

There are other times, when I have asked my children to clean up their room and they would mock behind my back, which I wasn't aware of it until Roadrunner came up to me and told me about it, and when I asked them about it and they would say huh?....

Cheri · 11-24-2004, 03:46 PM

Good Thread there Roadrunner,

My children also mock at me too whenever I tell them to do something such as putting toys away after they are done playing. I would turn around seeing Markus would say something that isn't nice. I would asked him "what did you say to me?!" He would say uh nothing. But,... Jordan my other son would tattletail on Markus and tell me what he said.

I too do not like it either when my children think they can get away with talking back at me behind my back just because I cannot hear but they don't know that I have eyes that can face them quickier when I feel that they are mocking at me. heh.

TiaraPrincess · 11-24-2004, 06:30 PM

Well, I never talked behind my mother. I always wanted to let her know lol. I am the opposite. I talk back. I don't have parents who think talking back is so rude. I guess it's different from parent to parent and how much worse it is for their children. The only time I know is when I would be so mad and went to my room flipping my finger in her direction without her seeing and door closed. A way to release anger, I guess...If my brother and I had something mischevious to do then we would talk really quiet or elsewhere. It wasn't talking back, it was just playing things on her

Sometimes my mother forgets that I have a hearing loss. It's been like that ALL of my life and she talks and turns around. It's worse to understand her when I don't have my CI on. Somehow that's not fair of me to her to not wear the CI

. My brother is the opposite. He learned to face me since he knew I needed to. They are two opposite people. It's funny because when she's mad at me and I don't have my CI on--she talks and talks and talks...I turn around still seeing her mouth move and go, "why are you talking? I can't hear a word you say anyway."

PrincessTabu · 11-25-2004, 11:11 AM

Well, I'm a hearing parent and my kids, both hearing and deaf, do the same thing to me. They just talk quietly or use signs LOL!
They're just being kids, and talking behind your back is part of it

CatoCooper13 · 11-25-2004, 07:29 PM

My ex step daughter did that to me a few times -- the worse one I can recall and will NEVER EVER forgive her for it. She took advantage of my deafness one weekend when she went and raided the alcoholic shelf and got drunk. She called her mother up on the phone about midnight and said she was fucking bored and that there was nothing to do at the house. It was midnight, for heaven's sake!

(FYI, she was 13! And she smokes cigarettes - her mother allows this. *smh* Irresponsible of her!)

Never again will have her over here anymore. I don't trust her anymore.

11-07-2004, 11:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Roadrunner Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,090	Does anyone have hearing children... Does anyone have hearing children or neighbor kids that talk back in a bad way behind your back? Hearing children or kids generally tend to think it's nothing when it comes to talking behind a Deaf/Hoh parent or adult...some might go to such an extent knowing we can't hear their verbal rants once we turn our backs on them. My youngest daughter and a friend of hers had said certain things when I had turned my back on them and after several of these, I approached my daughter in a good way indicating how rude and improper it was of her to say things behind my back when she knew I couldn't hear it well enough, then I compared that situation with her hearing mom and quipped her if she would do the same thing...immediately she said she wouldn't...then I mentioned that it's not only fair that I may not be able to hear everything especially when things are being said behind my back and if you have something to say, be sure to say it to my face and not behind my back! Later on, another friend was with her and her friend started to say something while I had my back turned and then I heard my daughter saying something to her friend and I turned around and could see that my daughter was telling my friend that it wasn't nice to do! I'm sure several of you have had these sort of situations, how were you able to handle it and what was done? How does it feel?

11-07-2004, 11:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Opal ~~~~~ Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,752 Blog Entries: 1	Yes, I am aware of my hearing children do it the same too, BUT I remember I did it the same to my hearing parents when I was little as I was cross with them, and once their turn their back to me, I was using no voice calling their names and sometimes rude gesture to them too!! It is NOT only hearing children taking advantage of deaf parents isn't it? Well??? __________________ (\ (\ (=' x') (,('')('')

11-24-2004, 01:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 19,088	Great thread there Roadieerunner! Oh yes, I've experienced my children and the neighbor's children talking behind my back when I go outside to a situation that was going on between them, and when I had to deal with whatever had happened, they would talk behind my back more of mocking at me, I didn't appericate that one bit, so I had told my children to come inside the house and had a long talk with them about it, it's not nice to talk behind anyone's back and surely it not nice to talk behind their mother's back when she is unable to hear ... There are other times, when I have asked my children to clean up their room and they would mock behind my back, which I wasn't aware of it until Roadrunner came up to me and told me about it, and when I asked them about it and they would say huh?.... __________________ "When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

11-24-2004, 03:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 21,022	Good Thread there Roadrunner, My children also mock at me too whenever I tell them to do something such as putting toys away after they are done playing. I would turn around seeing Markus would say something that isn't nice. I would asked him "what did you say to me?!" He would say uh nothing. But,... Jordan my other son would tattletail on Markus and tell me what he said. I too do not like it either when my children think they can get away with talking back at me behind my back just because I cannot hear but they don't know that I have eyes that can face them quickier when I feel that they are mocking at me. heh. __________________

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11-08-2004, 12:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Roadrunner Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,090	True, not only hearing children are the ones literally taking advantage here, but as with this thread, it's about 'you'...'me' or for any other Deaf/Hoh parent or adult who daily is in contact with 'hearing' children... But yes, you do have another point and situation that's also considered similar to what this thread is about....

11-08-2004, 11:04 AM	#4 (permalink)
Gemtun Guest Posts: n/a	Good thread you have here, RoadRunner When I first told my daughters that I was getting a cochlear implant last spring, my oldest said No way! I said why not? She said Cos it means we cant talk behind your back anymore!! Needless to say, I was crestfallen and told her how I felt about that. SHe said that she likes to whisper secrets and whatnot to her younger sister, not necessarily talking about ME negatively. But I still worry nonetheless..I have no idea if they do. But then again, maybe not knowing is the best answer so I won't have to deal with the knowledge LOL. Last year, she was taking piano lessons. I had to force her to practice daily because her hearing father insisted on that. One day, a hearing friend was sitting with me on the couch. I told my daughter to go practice on the piano. She pouted and went to the piano. Her hands were touching the keys. I thought she was practicing. But my friend said Margaret I know you are faking it. My daughter paled and realized that she forgot that my friend was hearing. SHe never faked it again since.

11-08-2004, 11:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	I have hearing son, and he does talk back to me. Every time I talk to her or ask him to do something, he would roll his eyes and give me the "I don't know" attitudes. Made me mad.

11-08-2004, 01:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
dawn Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 25	Sometimes at dinner, my eleven year old son will talk to his father in a way that I can't understand what he is saying. It is very rude, and I always have to ask my husband to repeat what was said. I'm a lipreader. I think that mostly all children are rude like that. On the other hand, when we are out somewhere, my son always makes sure that people he introduces me to know that I can't hear and that I need to see their lips. I think the rudeness and the consideration that he shows me goes hand in hand. He's just a kid and he probably won't realize how rude some of the things he does to me are until he gets older. The other day he was telling me about his friend Wade. He made sure to spell it for me so I wouldn't get confused with his freind Wayne. I was touched by how thoughtful that was.

11-10-2004, 12:48 AM	#8 (permalink)
Roadrunner Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,090	I'm sure there are more members here that have experienced going through what some hearing children, neighbor kids, etc. or currently dealing with such situations...let's read about them and how do you deal with it and how does it effect you as a Deaf/Hoh parent/adult?

11-24-2004, 06:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
TiaraPrincess Wazzup? Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 472	Well, I never talked behind my mother. I always wanted to let her know lol. I am the opposite. I talk back. I don't have parents who think talking back is so rude. I guess it's different from parent to parent and how much worse it is for their children. The only time I know is when I would be so mad and went to my room flipping my finger in her direction without her seeing and door closed. A way to release anger, I guess...If my brother and I had something mischevious to do then we would talk really quiet or elsewhere. It wasn't talking back, it was just playing things on her Sometimes my mother forgets that I have a hearing loss. It's been like that ALL of my life and she talks and turns around. It's worse to understand her when I don't have my CI on. Somehow that's not fair of me to her to not wear the CI . My brother is the opposite. He learned to face me since he knew I needed to. They are two opposite people. It's funny because when she's mad at me and I don't have my CI on--she talks and talks and talks...I turn around still seeing her mouth move and go, "why are you talking? I can't hear a word you say anyway."

11-25-2004, 11:11 AM	#12 (permalink)
PrincessTabu Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 85	Well, I'm a hearing parent and my kids, both hearing and deaf, do the same thing to me. They just talk quietly or use signs LOL! They're just being kids, and talking behind your back is part of it

11-25-2004, 07:29 PM	#13 (permalink)
CatoCooper13 Am attached and in LOVE! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Sonoma County, California Posts: 6,418	My ex step daughter did that to me a few times -- the worse one I can recall and will NEVER EVER forgive her for it. She took advantage of my deafness one weekend when she went and raided the alcoholic shelf and got drunk. She called her mother up on the phone about midnight and said she was fucking bored and that there was nothing to do at the house. It was midnight, for heaven's sake! (FYI, she was 13! And she smokes cigarettes - her mother allows this. smh Irresponsible of her!) Never again will have her over here anymore. I don't trust her anymore.