Banjo

Discuss the topic here, since it'll be on-topic. The other thread that had the discussion was off the topic.

So, here.

Deafness

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Banjo

I'm providing two links, one to the Child Support page (Government website) and the other one to the Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights. This way, the viewpoints and arguments will be more balanced.

Office of Child Support - (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services - Administration for Children & Families)

ANCPR - Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights

Cheri

I know all about Child Support Banjo I have two kids.

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Angel

Well Banjo

The reason why I mistook your post is because you did not put Non-Custodial Parents on the first post, that why I was confused by what you said....

I know all about it, because I went thru that myself ...My ex husband wanted to settle this in private without going thru court, but I refused it after I heard my lawyer told me that there's always a problem getting child support from your ex without a court order that's the reason why I went thru court for that ...

I know some parents had done that, and has no problem whatsoever, but just remember the law would not be on your side without an order....

And some parents don't want any child support, then that's their decision...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Cheri

Who pays child support?

Both parents have an obligation to support the children financially according to each parent's income. Usually the parent with custody receives child support payments from the other parent for the children's financial needs. (Special expenses for the child included child care, medical care, educational costs, post-secondary education or extracurricular activities.)



When parents out-of-court agreements they do not have to follow the Guidelines. However, the tables provide a basis for negotiations between parents and their lawyers since they know the amount of child support the court would award. If divorcing parents have settled on the amount of child support, the judge uses the Guidelines to make sure it is reasonable. legal agreement must be in writing, signed by both parties and witnessed. You can file a copy of the agreement with the court. Then the court will enforce it the same as a court order. without that you are on your own, if the absent parent screw you over oh well that would be your problem wouldn't it?

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CrazyMomma

Ok, get this picture

Man and woman, banging, jumping, humping for fun
Ooop, woman said, "I am pregnant."
Man and woman said, "we will have this baby"
Father-to-Be works, Mother-to-Be take care of pregnancy and baby
Baby born 9 months
Father work a lot, bring money home for foods and clothing
Mother cooks, clean, take care of Baby
Baby turned 5 years old - ready for school
Father have feeling, focus on job, left Mother
Mother have no idea why, Mother took care of Baby, keep the house clean

They go to court for cusotdy hearing; WHO GET THE CHILD?

Judge granted, Father should get full custody of the Baby, cause he has house, a job, health insurance.
Mother have no job, live with parents or someone, no health insurance, if she want to see Baby, how can she care the Baby? Food, clothing, doctor cost money. She must pay the support to Father for help.



(That is same for opposite Woman and Man and Baby, if Mother left Father and Baby or Father left Mother and Baby and same for woman have job and man have no job.)

CrazyMomma

For married couples

Man and woman go to school and graduated
Man and woman got a good job
Man and woman got married
Man and woman bang, humping and playing around
Woman said, "honey, I am pregnant."
Father-to-Be jumped for joy
9 months later, here come Baby
3 months later, Mother go back to work
Father and Mother work and bring paycheck home to pay the bills, and daycare & diapers
Marriage not working, Father having affair, leaving Mother home and care the Baby
Father see a lawyer, Mother see a lawyer
Mother want full custody and the house
Father want a joint custody and he will get a place on his own
Judge said, Father and Mother works full time
Judge pound the hammer, Joint Cusotdy
Father and Mother be friends for Baby's sake and focus on Baby
Father pay 50% and Mother pay 50%, they share EQUAL on Baby
Father get Baby 1st and 3rd week or weekend
Mother get Baby 2nd and 4th week or weekend

CrazyMomma

Ok, here is the last one..

Either they're married or live together, relationship's not working and opposite gender too.

Man and Woman met and fall in love
Man and Woman to bed, humping, banging and playing for fun
Woman said "Uh Oh, I am pregnant"
Man said, "Ok, Ok, we can do it together"
Mom-to-Be carried for 9 month
Baby born
Father work work work work hard
Mother stay home, watch and care the child
Relationship get sour, Mother and Father fights
Mother or Father left Mother or Father and Baby for another man or woman
Baby stay with Father, Father desparate need for help, Father can't do it by himself
Father get tie up with house/utitlies bills, daycare, car payment, diapers, foods, clothes with all his paycheck..
Mother having so much fun with new man or woman, not worry about the Baby, Baby is in good hand with Father
Father went to see a lawyer
Father asked for help
Judge pound hammer
Father get the full cusotdy of Baby, Baby should be living with Father, and Mother should be helping the man with child care, diapers, food, clothes
Mother decided she doesn't want to see the Baby without helping, Father have the right to keep the Baby from seeing the Woman unless she pay the child supports. If failure to pay the child support, the judge will throw you in the jail for not paying child support as the court/judge told you to do.

Angel

was that an example of what you think or was that a fact?....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

CrazyMomma

My mom and dad were divorce when my sister and I were little, and my dad spend all his hours working a lot and overtime and he never got to spend time with me, so my mom took care of me and my sister. They went to court, and divorce was final, and my mom fought fought fought to get the full custody of me and my sister, cause my dad wanted to keep me and my sister. Now I get the point, who is going to watch us while my dad work 12 hours. Who is going to pick me up from school? Who is going to fix dinner? Think about.
My mom won the full custody of me and my sister, and Judge ordered him to pay child support every month (In WV law - $400 dollar for each child - that is $800 for 2 kids). $800 dollars will help my mom to buy foods, new clothes, and doctor's fee and school's meals. Two months after the divorce hearing and child custody, my dad stopped paying child support and my mom won't let us to see him unless he pay the child support. If he still pay child support, my mom will let us to see him. Obviously, he only paid 3 times and that is all. I was mad at him, and I didn't wanted to see him, and my sister didn't want to see him either, and we haven't see him for 12 years.

My sister and I saw him when I was 18 years old and my sister was 17 and I asked him if he can help me to pay for college, and my dad said, "No, it cost too much money, and I am not paying for college, get a job." I told him, "WTF! You never pay child support on us and you owe my mom a lot of money". My dad was ike, "Who care, your mom was a greedy, and asking for money." My sister said, "She get your money to help us to be fed, to have nice clothes, etc)". He didn't believe that. So I told him, "Fine, if you don't pay my mom for all what she did to us, and if you don't want to help me pay for college, 1st car, like any father would do for their daughters, I am leaving you for good". I think it broke his heart, cause my sister and I were pissed at him so bad, and we were hoping that he would help my mom to take care of us. We realized that we don't need him, and we had a great stepdad who are still like a father to us, he married my mom, he helped my mom, he brought us our 1st car, he paid for my college and my sister's college.

I cannot wait to see my real dad in the jail for not paying child support and he STILL owe my mom $800 X 13 years = $10,400.

My sister and I have no contact with him, and we are estranged from him. I remember my mom calling him from hospital room when I was in the hospital for illness, and he never bother to call, send flower or card or visit. What kind of father is like that? My stepdad was there for me, he was there to watch me play, he was there, he gave me away when I got married, and so on. 2 years ago, when I was in the hospital when I had my son Kyler, and I was in the room, and watched my mom called my real dad about Kyler's being born, and he never say anything, he never send me nothing, or anything. I was like, "WTF!"

Now my real father is a deadbeat and he owe a lot of money on child support. That is the law in WV.



IT IS NOT FAIR FOR MY MOTHER TO RAISE 2 KIDS ALL BY HERSELF WITHOUT ANY CHILD SUPPORT...

And that is the same thing for other member here (DeafScuba), it is not FAIR for him to raise his son without any child support. He needs help from his child's mother to pay child support so his son can have new pajamas, new clothes, daycare, etc.

CrazyMomma

Both... Example and a fact.


Did you get the point of view?

Fly Free

Cmom -- i most certainly do -- ive seen some lesbian couples go thru custodial arguments after they have had a child(ren) together via sperm donor method -- custodial arguments i think are worse than anything else imaginable in a coupled relationship -- straight, gay or lesbian regardless of orientation -- arguing over finances and etc are so typical but when it comes to pitting the child(ren) against the other i just feel worse for the CHILD

CrazyMomma

Yea, Lesbian/Gay couples fights for custody are harder. I wish they can work out and deal the law to see who get the best interest for the child.

Gemtun

IT IS NOT FAIR FOR MY MOTHER TO RAISE 2 KIDS ALL BY HERSELF WITHOUT ANY CHILD SUPPORT...

And that is the same thing for other member here (DeafScuba), it is not FAIR for him to raise his son without any child support. He needs help from his child's mother to pay child support so his son can have new pajamas, new clothes, daycare, etc.[/quote]


Crazy ..I can understand your pain & anger. My biological dad and then adopted dad (he adopted me and my brother when I was 6) were both deadbeats. My mom struggled to raise 3 of us on her income. I remember getting very cold or hungry while I was a young girl, wondering why these dads never bothered to give my mom a cent. I remember writing a letter to my dad, begging for a new pair of sneakers when I was 11 because mine was already 2 years old and very tight on my growing feet. He never responded.

Now if my father calls or want to see me, I never bother to respond. He never apologized for these years but he tries so hard to make up for it NOW. It is too late.

CrazyMomma

Yea, it's not fair to have divorced parents and never bother to help pay the support for the kids.

I am glad my stepdad raise me and my sister as his own, and he would die for us.

For my real father, I don't care for him. If he die, that is fine with me. He never support my mom or us.

eternity

Crazyredheadwv and meg sorry that you had to go through like that. It sucks when your dad didnt help you that much.

Crazyredheadwv -- I like that you gave 3 examples.

like both Father and Mother who are being a friend if they are divorce or never been married.

Yes That's joint custody. Both of them can support their child(ren).

Cheri

I am sorry I disagree with you right there, Just because the mother doesn't have a job the court would not give the father full custody of a child unless the mother is unfit...A Judge can tell the mother to get a job or go on Government for assistance, and receive child support from the father. It happened to my friend the same thing She never worked in a long time she was a housewife the ex husband had to pay spouse support and child support because she hasn't been working in a long time.

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Banjo

Supposedly a situation took place...

The wife cheated on the husband, and then file for divorce against the husband who has done nothing but provide her with everything needed.

Should the wife be entitled to spouse support, child support and the full custody of the children?

Or should everything go to the husband?

CrazyMomma

You are right, Cheri. If you are fit mother with helps from loving family, you would be able to get the children, if father doesn't want to be with the children all time, mother can, Mother get the kids.

CrazyMomma

It depends. If mother and father are divorcing each other, and focus on raising children together, they can share cusotdy (joint custody).

Cheri

That would be up to the Judge to rule on that situation, But, if the husband fought in court against her there a possiblity that the judge would rule on his favor because it would be harder on the wife's case because she cheated.

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Opal

Fathers are victim too, they are struggle to pay first wife to support his first children, plus his second family, (his second wife are worst off).

First wife are ALWAYS better off!!!

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Angel

Yes I do, but the reason why I asked is because of the ' shared custody ' is not always 50/50, there's one called ' Residential Parent ' meaning the children lives with the Residential Parent every day and the other parent sees the child every other weekend and that parent pays child support not the Residential Parent....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Angel

I wouldn't say everything but the husband would not have to pay any spouse support because the wife is the one who cheat on him, and file for the divorce...

For Child support, thats depending on which parent raise and took care of the children more than the other and who is fit to be a parent for those children....

If the judge sees that the wife is the one who should get the children then the husband would have no choice but to pay child support....

Most cases the judge gives it to the mother unless the court finds she is unfit to have the children...

__________________
"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

PujolsMVP

It is not $10,400 that your dad owe. It is $124,800 that your dad owe in child support for 13 years. $800 per month times 12 months a year equal $9600 a year times 13 years equal $124,800.

PujolsMVP

I have full custody of 3 years old boy that i won in court battle a year and half ago. his mother is unfit mother that she cannot take care of him because of her bi polar and maniac depression. she takes 4 or 5 different medications and sleep alot and watch tv too much. So as the court order that she must continue to provide my boy SSDI check every month under her name as child support. But now i am receiving SSDI myself and my boy received SSDI under my name so they stopped SSDI fpr my boy under his mother's name because now my boy received SSDI under my name. Right now his mother doesn't pay child support at all and there is nothing I can do to try to get child support payment from her since the court order said she can provide her SSDI for my boy. But my and my boy SSDI helps us to go thru living and I pay bills and rent every month with no problem. I don't need child support from his mother since she hasn't see my boy for one and half year so I don't need anything from her. she must have court order supervised visitation. she lives in South Dakota and I live in Illinois.

eternity

That's pretty a lot of money but he should help his kids out when they need him to.

CrazyMomma

Ooops, I must have miscaluated.. Thanks for correct, and that is what my real father owe my mom that kind of money.. I am waiting for him to pay my mom and my mom said she is willing to split up with her, my sister and me.

CatoCooper13

I do understand the laws of child support and custody -- the only time I'd disagree is when one is deceiving the other...for example my husband's ex w