Parents Not The Blame For Troubled Kids

I think parents have a huge amount ouf the blame in general. Simply knowing where your kids are does not show involvment or good parenting like the study seems imply. I remember in school some kids had parents with non negotiable rules and others would argue with thier parents until they gave in. Guess wich ones got in trouble all the time.
 
Have you have own kids?

I have my own kids, and I don't like some people telling us what to do with our kids, or telling us how to raise them.

If your not parent of any kids, please don't blame on parents to begin with. I have witness CPS telling two parents what to do with their kids, the damage is beyond and is done because of that.

Of course, I have seen bad parents, perhaps they are trying to get help and couldn't get help so I can't assume why they become bad parents.

I still believe society plays major role.

jonnyghost said:
I think parents have a huge amount ouf the blame in general. Simply knowing where your kids are does not show involvment or good parenting like the study seems imply. I remember in school some kids had parents with non negotiable rules and others would argue with thier parents until they gave in. Guess wich ones got in trouble all the time.
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Yes, i have kids. Young though. I agree society plays a large role too, i'm just disagreeing that parents aren't to blame as well.
 
I have to disagree with the article, I feel if the parents are abusive that could cause a child to act out . I was at kid 's house with a girlfriend of mine and the boy's dad was an abusive drunk and beat his kids with a belt . I said something to the boy and he got upset and came after me with a broomstick. I did not say anything bad the kid just had so much penned anger he saw me as an easy target. Everyone knew about the dad beating his kids up but nothing was done to stop it. So I also blame the cops and society for the kids becoming 'trouble' kids . I know there are great parents that have trouble kids , if the parents are not the blame then who is and is this just a way to pass the blame on to someone else?

"Despite the rise, this latest study shows that today’s parents are more likely to know where their teenage children are and what they are doing than their 1980s equivalents. The proportion asking what their children were doing has increased from 47 per cent in 1986 to 66 per cent in 2006. " I copy this from the article I posted Yeah parents know where their kids are today more than in 1980's. We did not have cells phone and all the technology that out there today. So this fact is baseless.
 
Fair enough for you to make argument. Wait til they grow up, hopefully you and your kids are next generation from each other, my kids are 2 or 3 generations ahead of me. Oh my god! They are completely different than my generation. I told my boys of my good o'le days where we do crazy things and there was no safety BS involved. I never had car seat when I was baby, I rode bikes without helmet... what helmet? I never heard of it til now. Computer? What computer? I never heard of it until I almost finish my high school. Never heard of smartphone and so on.

I see completely different generation nowadays.

Soon, I will show my oldest son movie called "Grow ups". Hope he would understand where I came from.

jonnyghost said:
Yes, i have kids. Young though. I agree society plays a large role too, i'm just disagreeing that parents aren't to blame as well.
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I am aware of this, its pretty much case by case basis. I think parents who drinks all the time is one of the worst parents, including those who are doing hard dope (The white stuff).

What we need is education, we are cutting expenses on education, and the quality of education in America is now suffering. China has better education than here, how embarrassing? In China, Calculus is part of math in their High school! Here in America, which high school offers calculus in their math department? I don't think there is many.

And FYI, My son's going in 7th grade. As of 4th grade to 6th grade category, my son tops of all of students in these grade group! Many of them are half way behind my son's achievement. Its City school, not private or suburb schools. This is one of reason why I had hard time decide move out of here. He is doing superb, and there is scholarship for local college for him if he continue what he is doing. My son wants go RIT, and City school will pay for it if he graduate from City high school. He wants deal with robotics, I told him go for it cause I know opportunities are out there for field like that. I am one of very few parents that value school attendance and my son earned perfect attendance 2 years in row. Almost no student are anywhere close to his achievement.

Easy to raise my son? Oh gawd! I wish it was that easy but nope. Very tough, he has brain same as mine. grrr he outsmart me sometimes.

whatdidyousay! said:
I have to disagree with the article, I feel if the parents are abusive that could cause a child to act out . I was at kid 's house with a girlfriend of mine and the boy's dad was an abusive drunk and beat his kids with a belt . I said something to the boy and he got upset and came after me with a broomstick. I did not say anything bad the kid just had so much penned anger he saw me as an easy target. Everyone knew about the dad beating his kids up but nothing was done to stop it. So I also blame the cops and society for the kids becoming 'trouble' kids . I know there are great parents that have trouble kids , if the parents are not the blame then who is and is this just a way to pass the blame on to someone else?
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diehardbiker said:
Fair enough for you to make argument. Wait til they grow up, hopefully you and your kids are next generation from each other, my kids are 2 or 3 generations ahead of me. Oh my god! They are completely different than my generation. I told my boys of my good o'le days where we do crazy things and there was no safety BS involved. I never had car seat when I was baby, I rode bikes without helmet... what helmet? I never heard of it til now. Computer? What computer? I never heard of it until I almost finish my high school. Never heard of smartphone and so on.

I see completely different generation nowadays.

Soon, I will show my oldest son movie called "Grow ups". Hope he would understand where I came from.
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LOL!! I am a grandmother and my daughter turned out be just fine thank you.
I am saying parents can keep tab of their kids a lot easier today and to say parents do that more today than in the 80's is like saying we can flying faster than the Wright brothers did. The person who wrote that article
made a weak argument for their case.
 
I agree this article is based off... well stupidity. Of course we know where kids are! We know where EVERYONE is with all the technology we have these days! GPS? Facebook? If you I'M on facebook and have your GPS turned on your phone it says where they sent it from! Lol! Back in older days they had yelling and landlines to call other parents... lol! I'm not even that old and I can tell you that!

Personally, I do think parents are to blame for how their kids come out... mostly. There are other contributing factors in any situation. However, if I would have EVER talked to my mom the way I see some kids do now a days, she'd have knocked my teeth out and still would to this day! That's not even just saying I was scared... I wasn't scared of my mother. I just knew better, it's how I was raised. I knew you didn't talk back to your parents, and I knew not to do all this stuff, and if I did, there were consequences... ones I didn't want to see... still don't!

So blame only the parents? No definitely not... but they have a HUGE part of it. Where our kids are? Pfffft, of course... nosey people and technology! Haha! =P

Either way, kids just seem to get more and more intense every time I turn around... smh
 
Phoenix23 said:
I agree this article is based off... well stupidity. Of course we know where kids are! We know where EVERYONE is with all the technology we have these days! GPS? Facebook? If you I'M on facebook and have your GPS turned on your phone it says where they sent it from! Lol! Back in older days they had yelling and landlines to call other parents... lol! I'm not even that old and I can tell you that!

Personally, I do think parents are to blame for how their kids come out... mostly. There are other contributing factors in any situation. However, if I would have EVER talked to my mom the way I see some kids do now a days, she'd have knocked my teeth out and still would to this day! That's not even just saying I was scared... I wasn't scared of my mother. I just knew better, it's how I was raised. I knew you didn't talk back to your parents, and I knew not to do all this stuff, and if I did, there were consequences... ones I didn't want to see... still don't!

So blame only the parents? No definitely not... but they have a HUGE part of it. Where our kids are? Pfffft, of course... nosey people and technology! Haha! =P

Either way, kids just seem to get more and more intense every time I turn around... smh
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I know , it's stupidity and I read that babies can have a microchip put in them just we do with our pets! A parent can be a work and see if their kid came home on time just using the computer. I agree that parents letting their kids talk back to them and I can't believe when I go grocery shopping I will see a mother ask her child what and want to eat for a meal . Damn you ate what was put on the table when I was a kid .
 
I have issue with the article, to state that parents today know more about what their children are doing is really pure conjecture. As if children have changed in the last 50,000 years, these author(s) found the Holy Grail no doubt. I'm sure there are no steroids in baseball too. :roll:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Today’s Parents 'Not To Blame' For Teenage Problem Behavior



Do people agree or disagree with this?
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It's hard to categorize everyone with one brush. It depends a lot on the individual. However if we're looking at patterns, it seems that many parents makes excuses for their child saying they're "not a bad kid" but just in a bad group. In my opinion, if you don't like their friends and don't lay down rules for behavior, then yes you are to blame. It's a very liberal arguement to say teens aren't to blame for their bahavior - it's the government's fault, it's society's fault, it's their parents' fault - but the reality is it's their fault, they did the action, they knew it was wrong, they didn't care. Parents that support their child's bad behavior by turning a blind eye, "it is what it is," are every bit as guilty for allowing the behavior that led up to the crime or to a case of bullying.

There are some people that are just trash and their parents aren't responsible, but too many times parents enable bad behavior....hence the jerk at work, the bully on the bus, the person who beats the life out of a WWII vet....

Laura
 
Lau2046 said:
It's hard to categorize everyone with one brush. It depends a lot on the individual. However if we're looking at patterns, it seems that many parents makes excuses for their child saying they're "not a bad kid" but just in a bad group. In my opinion, if you don't like their friends and don't lay down rules for behavior, then yes you are to blame. It's a very liberal arguement to say teens aren't to blame for their bahavior - it's the government's fault, it's society's fault, it's their parents' fault - but the reality is it's their fault, they did the action, they knew it was wrong, they didn't care. Parents that support their child's bad behavior by turning a blind eye, "it is what it is," are every bit as guilty for allowing the behavior that led up to the crime or to a case of bullying.

There are some people that are just trash and their parents aren't responsible, but too many times parents enable bad behavior....hence the jerk at work, the bully on the bus, the person who beats the life out of a WWII vet....

Laura
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I agree , I posted this thread as where people talking about bad parenting in
another thread and going off topic and thought it would help to have a thread about only this topic.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
...I can't believe when I go grocery shopping I will see a mother ask her child what and want to eat for a meal . Damn you ate what was put on the table when I was a kid .
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I agree that as a child I was never asked for my input for meal choices, and it never even occurred to me to ask. I don't recall being upset by that either. Some meals were more tasty than others but it all averaged out so it was no big deal. My mom wasn't a great cook but she was a comfortable cook. I have no complaints. :)
 
Reba said:
I agree that as a child I was never asked for my input for meal choices, and it never even occurred to me to ask. I don't recall being upset by that either. Some meals were more tasty than others but it all averaged out so it was no big deal. My mom wasn't a great cook but she was a comfortable cook. I have no complaints. :)
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My mom was not a great cook and I hated the meal she made with Campbell soup on toast for us kids when she and dad where going out to eat . YUCKY and so unfair. Dad was much a better cook as long as he was not too drunk. If my daughter did not like what I cooked for dinner she had to cook her own dinner. She was a teenager and old enough to use the stove. I see mothers taking their kids to the park and as soon as they get there the mothers take out their smartphone and become dumb mothers . They're not watching small child at all .
 
How much has changed in the last four (4) years? The article linked by the OP is dated Aug. 2, 2009.
 
Jane B. said:
How much has changed in the last four (4) years? The article linked by the OP is dated Aug. 2, 2009.
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I know when this article was written and the guy was saying parents know where their kids are today more than they did in the 80's . And that is 29 years ago not 4 years ago!! We did not have all the technology in the 80's like we do today and things has changed a lot. It does help to read the whole article before making a comment. I disagree with the article , of course parents where their kids are today more than 29 years or 33 years ago , we have cell phones , texting ,tweeting . People did not have this in the 80's.
 
It's BOTH the parents AND society that plays a role in the development of children.

When I was a kid, my parents scolded me for not doing well in school. They used their common sense to see whether it was my fault or the school's fault.

Nowadays, parents blame everything on the school system. When kids come home with homework... parents say "too much homework!" When kids fail a test, parents say "the tests are too hard!" When kids get in a fight, parents say "the school is unsafe!" :roll:
 
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