Hearing-Deaf Etiquette - Page 2

Jens_Cats · 01-10-2012, 09:11 PM

Personally, I always just see a PERSON first. I've been apalled at some of the stuff I've read since I signed up here. People can be so...Ugh!

Jen M.

DeafCaroline · 01-10-2012, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane B.

I get the impression that the PC is already out for note taking in class and might actually be faster that handwriting. I know I type faster than I write.

I meant political correctness.

drphil · 01-11-2012, 09:04 AM

Is there such a thing as "deaf correctness"? Say; between "born Deaf" vs "latedeafened with Cochlear Implants-who don't use ASL et al?
Not to "suggest political incorrectness' is rampart in the Deaf community-of course.

BecLak · 01-11-2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angle1989

I have only been deaf 8 months. I don't know enough ASL to communicate yet. However, even if I did my college children have not learned it yet.
I LOVE them bringing their laptops over to talk to me. Just like you they are very fast typers. Right now it is a very good way for me to have a "real" conversation with them. If they had to write everything down, our conversations would be limited. I do try to lipread but I always have to ask them to repeat themselves. So as a mother to 3 young adults, I'll take a laptop conversation anyday!! Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by musher

Thanks angle! Yeah, the conversation does seem really stilted when we have to use the interpreters. I too was thinking that the laptop might make active discussions a bit easier, since our class is very groupwork-oriented.

In this Instant Messaging and Social Network world....chatting in this manner is the 'in' thing even with hearing people. I do this with my young adult and teenage children all the time (and they are all hearing btw). I also love it when people use that means of communication with me. It is a happy medium for all concerned.

audiodef · 01-11-2012, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Keep in mind that most hearing people, when they learn you are deaf, apologize and walk away.

believe me, we'd rather you'd stay, and make an effort to meet us halfway, by writing things down if you don't know sign or we're having trouble lipreading you.

++!

audiodef · 01-11-2012, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musher

And the teacher (an English teacher, nonetheless) seems to think she can't read. What?!

Truly puzzling what hearing people think of deaf people, based on, well, nothing at all.

I worked in an IRS building once, where I met a guy who - I shit you not - asked me honestly if deaf people could drive. I could see that he honestly had never thought of this before, and had obviously never met a deaf person in his life. I felt pretty odd telling him of course deaf people can drive.

audiodef · 01-11-2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musher

Hi all!

I am hearing, and I am in a class in college with a woman who is deaf. She has an interpreter, can lipread somewhat and has a clear speaking voice. I've not had much interaction with those who are deaf/hoh, coming from a small farming community, and so I am unsure what might be considered offensive or insensitive that I may be unconsciously doing, or things that make it harder for us to communicate. She seems *very* nice, but she is there to learn and not educate me on deaf culture/etiquette, so I'd rather not bother her with these questions unless she mentions it first. But that's what you wonderful people can help me with!

Do you have any "Deafness/HOH for Hearing Dummies" tips or rules for me?

Also, would you consider it okay to communicate via laptop? I'm a very fast typer and I usually communicate much clearer via type rather than speech. I feel bad for her (and the interpreters!) who have to translate all of my umm's and ah's. I don't know if it is considered to be an impersonal method of interacting, though.

Thanks everybody!

The fact that you are thinking these things puts you head, shoulders and entire body above the crowd. You should simply take your questions to your classmate, because you have exactly the right attitude about it.

musher · 01-11-2012, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by audiodef

I met a guy who - I shit you not - asked me honestly if deaf people could drive.

What an idiot. I wish I could say I was surprised, but the morons seem to be consistently lowering the bar day by day.

Sometimes people just need to be slapped upside the head.

dereksbicycles · 01-11-2012, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musher

What an idiot. I wish I could say I was surprised, but the morons seem to be consistently lowering the bar day by day.

Sometimes people just need to be slapped upside the head.

Today, I was talking to few people about selling my 1977 Caprice wagon. They asked me who they would be talking to in person. Who is the owner of the car?

**Bottesini** · 01-11-2012, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musher

What an idiot. I wish I could say I was surprised, but the morons seem to be consistently lowering the bar day by day.

Sometimes people just need to be slapped upside the head.

You are squinting now, but are you sure you don't have any misconceptions of your own??

1monkeymissing · 01-16-2012, 06:42 AM

I had that last week! I was asked if deaf people can drive, and she knows I drive! I don't know if I found it rude or not, kinda did but kinda didn't. Just confusing.

JanatheShort · 01-16-2012, 10:24 PM

This has been really interesting to read. I always wondered what is the "right way" to approach a deaf person in a non-offensive way. (As opposed to my way of meeting people from most other cultures... jumping in and learning LATER what I should not have done. LOL)

JanatheShort · 02-01-2012, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by howag

I cover my mouth when I yawn and for obvious reasons when I cough and sneeze. Did your boyfriends laugh and talk at the same time?

Does laughing make it harder to lipread someone? Cuz... I laugh a lot, and I'm wondering if that could be problematic if someone tried to lipread me.

DeafCaroline · 02-01-2012, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JanatheShort

Does laughing make it harder to lipread someone? Cuz... I laugh a lot, and I'm wondering if that could be problematic if someone tried to lipread me.

Do you laugh and talk at the same time?

**Jiro** · 02-01-2012, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Do you laugh and talk at the same time?

yea I do that all the time

JanatheShort · 02-01-2012, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Do you laugh and talk at the same time?

Mmm... I haven't payed attention, but I probably do.

I will watch myself today and report back later.

DeafCaroline · 02-01-2012, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

yea I do that all the time

Ok.

whatdidyousay! · 02-01-2012, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Keep in mind that most hearing people, when they learn you are deaf, apologize and walk away.

believe me, we'd rather you'd stay, and make an effort to meet us halfway, by writing things down if you don't know sign or we're having trouble lipreading you.

like howag said, deaf people are forthright and blunt, so don't worry, just talk, er, write to her

forget all the PC crap.

Yeah,when I tell some people I am HOH they'll say " I am sorry." I am like HUH?
What this that all about?? Some people get so uptight about it.

honey.toronto · 02-01-2012, 04:35 PM

I tend to smile a lot when I talk to people, that's not good either is it.

JanatheShort · 02-01-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Do you laugh and talk at the same time?

As of now, nothing has made me laugh, but the husband informed me that I DO laugh while talking. That would make it hard for you to lipread, right?

**Cheetah** · 02-03-2012, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JanatheShort

As of now, nothing has made me laugh, but the husband informed me that I DO laugh while talking. That would make it hard for you to lipread, right?

Yep. Also a lot of people that laugh and talk at the same time habitually put their hand over their mouth. Dang them!!!

JanatheShort · 02-04-2012, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheetah

Yep. Also a lot of people that laugh and talk at the same time habitually put their hand over their mouth. Dang them!!!

I don't really do this:

much anymore... but I do laugh and talk, mainly because I'm usually laughing about something or other. Crap!!

How to break the habit?

**Cheetah** · 02-04-2012, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JanatheShort

I don't really do this:

much anymore... but I do laugh and talk, mainly because I'm usually laughing about something or other. Crap!!

How to break the habit?

Practice making jokes and listening to jokes with a straight face.

JanatheShort · 02-04-2012, 10:44 AM

Does smiling while talking make it hard to lipread too? *worried*

BecLak · 02-04-2012, 01:21 PM

Another no-no: Talking without moving your lips, or talking through your teeth.

Beach girl · 02-04-2012, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Do you laugh and talk at the same time?

My sister-in-law does that, and man, it drives me crazy. I don't see her very often (she lives in the U.K.), but her strong nearly-Welsh accent plus the irritating (IMHO) habit of laughing at the end of every sentence and sometimes between words - even when she is just saying normal, not-at-all amusing stuff - makes it very hard for me to understand her.

I need my husband to translate quite a bit when I'm with her.

tashon2 · 02-04-2012, 07:40 PM

maybe she is just nervous?

JanatheShort · 02-05-2012, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tashon2

maybe she is just nervous?

I do that. it's just my personality... Life is hard, I'd rather laugh than cry.

I watched a video we had to made for a class today. Apparently I DO laugh and talk at the same time. I also said the word "ummm" 21 times in two and a half minutes.

Anyway, what I have learned from this conversation is that I would probably be really hard to lipread, so if I ever want to have meaningful conversation with a person who can't hear well, I should learn ASL.

In happy news, DCMP granted me level 2 membership, so I can watch the ASL lessons with the Bravos!!!!

howag · 02-05-2012, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beach girl

My sister-in-law does that, and man, it drives me crazy. I don't see her very often (she lives in the U.K.), but her strong nearly-Welsh accent plus the irritating (IMHO) habit of laughing at the end of every sentence and sometimes between words - even when she is just saying normal, not-at-all amusing stuff - makes it very hard for me to understand her.

I need my husband to translate quite a bit when I'm with her.

Lol the Welsh accent is hard enough to understand to most people who live in the UK

01-10-2012, 09:11 PM	#31 (permalink)
Jens_Cats Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Washington, DC area-Maryland Posts: 151	Personally, I always just see a PERSON first. I've been apalled at some of the stuff I've read since I signed up here. People can be so...Ugh! Jen M. FadedRose and honey.toronto like this.

01-11-2012, 09:04 AM	#33 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,108	Is there such a thing as "deaf correctness"? Say; between "born Deaf" vs "latedeafened with Cochlear Implants-who don't use ASL et al? Not to "suggest political incorrectness' is rampart in the Deaf community-of course. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

01-16-2012, 10:24 PM	#42 (permalink)
JanatheShort Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Indiana, USA Posts: 358	This has been really interesting to read. I always wondered what is the "right way" to approach a deaf person in a non-offensive way. (As opposed to my way of meeting people from most other cultures... jumping in and learning LATER what I should not have done. LOL) honey.toronto and Jens_Cats like this.

02-04-2012, 01:21 PM	#55 (permalink)
BecLak Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 2,116	Another no-no: Talking without moving your lips, or talking through your teeth. __________________ Severely deaf from birth. Deaf with a Purpose. God designed me this way so I do everything by God's Grace. Exodus 4:11 Ignorance is no longer bliss. Be Educated. KEEP IN STEP WITH ME: Sign Text Email Pen and Paper

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01-16-2012, 06:42 AM	#41 (permalink)
1monkeymissing Registered User Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Durham, UK Posts: 17	I had that last week! I was asked if deaf people can drive, and she knows I drive! I don't know if I found it rude or not, kinda did but kinda didn't. Just confusing.

02-01-2012, 04:35 PM	#49 (permalink)
honey.toronto Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 104	I tend to smile a lot when I talk to people, that's not good either is it.

02-04-2012, 10:44 AM	#54 (permalink)
JanatheShort Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Indiana, USA Posts: 358	Does smiling while talking make it hard to lipread too? worried

02-04-2012, 07:40 PM	#57 (permalink)
tashon2 Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: nc Posts: 3	maybe she is just nervous?