RachelRene

My train leaves late tomorrow night. I cannot WAIT!

Kellycat, you're exactly right... If it's not my hearing (which, again, has been an issue my whole life and mom just ignored it), it's that J and I are both allergic to gluten (which again, mom knew from the time i was 2 but decided on her own I'd outgrown), or that I'm gay, or that I moved out of Montana, or that my work is online and they think it's not a real job. It's always something, and I can't keep losing my voice here, I can't keep coming back thinking there will be acceptance and instead being treated like crap while I sit and watch.

It's my son that changes things... because I will NOT let him grow up thinking that deafness is something to be ashamed of, that *I* am something to be ashamed of.... or that it's acceptable to treat ANYONE with the disrespect and cruelty that my family has shown.

i've already made up my mind that this is the last long visit I will have. If I can get my mom alone before I go, I'm going to talk to her and let her know that I love her, but I'm not coming back until they can treat me with respect. Any future visits will be very short, and I will have my car with me and an escape plan. It was stupid to agree to train here and stay for two weeks.

Why in the world am I still hoping for acceptance from these people?

On a good note... my brother left a couple days ago, which means we are back to the silent disapproval and eye rolling instead of outright mockery... (somehow, that's better)... and I kicked ass at Dominoes yesterday (we are very competitive, and board games are my favorite part of the holiday), and then my sister agreed to turn on subtitles for me for the first time in my life. She rolled her eyes about it, and she still turned the volume lower, but she turned on the captions and that is progress.

Everyone is working today, so I'm going w/o my hearing aids and signing only with Jayden. He's using his voice with me, but responding to my signs... I'll just need to find another Deaf event when I get back to Portland so he can have the positive signing examples again.

Thank you all for keeping me sane.

Deafness

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Audiofuzzy

Stand your ground. You are NOT to be ashamed of.

have you thought of writting a letter to your mom, family, letting them know how you feel, how you felt all those years,
plainly state what you just told all of us?

Calmly explain you love them but can't live like that anymore,
and if they won't give you respect you deserve you might be forced to contemplate staying away for good.

Don't forget to clearly describe what do you need and expect to receive from them.


Hope that will change things for you

Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
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Speedy Hawk

Happy that you can leave. That fab. Writing letter good idea cos if try speak your mother, she may be on defensive and not listen fully. With letter she can't answer back, just read so may take more notice?

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Free Jillio!!

RachelRene

I did try to talk to my mom before I left, but she said "Don't make waves, don't complain. You only have 1 day left, don't end on a bad note." That was before I even started.

I will probably write her a letter, but I'm just so happy to be back in my own place again. J has been playing with his toys, signing "happy" to himself.

Jazzberry

I'm not an expert on families or relationships, but that doesn't sound like something someone would say if they are truly interested in a open and close relationship.

That's sweet.

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I was a mainstreamed "solitaire". I'm currently learning ASL. My hearing loss ranges from moderate to profound; my audiogram and speech discrimination are posted here.

amc5754

Wow. Thats so wrong. I feel ya.

Tikra

damn i want to come over and insult to all of your family for any kind of weaknesses they have such as mocking behind their back and humliate them in public. I would have bring a interpreter next to me and tell whole family out loud said that it going be my last visit to family event until they straight up their acts and if they dont, I would never come back again ever (such as being divorcing the family) and go on with my life. That what i would do if it was in my shoes or write a LONG letter like you suggest and give them warning if they dont straight up and I would cut off all connections to family, move to somewhere they dont know where you are at then force them search for you to prove them that you are serious. IF nothing works then i suggest start your life by create your own family along with your son by invite people that you really cares and who is very dear to you to your house and all events.

so write a letter is probably best idea but better keep a copy in case if anything happen *who knows what would happen in future*.


IF you want your son to get more experiences socialize with deaf culture, I suggest that put your son into school that has deaf program that allow deaf kids to mainstream in class with hearing kids. That how my brother and i keep communicate because he learn sign language from same school i went for first few years before he went to school close by home.

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We shall bring Hell who ever confront us

SophiaG

It completely baffles me why anyone would be so cruel to a family member

amc5754

I have problems too. My family automatic assumed that I can hear or understand everything with and without my hearing aid. They would offen get annoyed when this happen. Anytime that I have trouble they would just voiced. They won't try other way.

amc5754

I have problems too. My family automatic assumed that I can hear or understand everything with and without my hearing aid. They would offen get annoyed when this happen. Anytime that I have trouble they would just voiced. They won't try other way. I mean they would act like deaf resources don't exist like ASL or typing/writing thing downs. They would just avoid trying them.

GrayEagle

You know, it baffles me, too. Totally. There is a young woman in our lip reading class and actually she speaks clearly and well. Yet it is allowed for her adult brothers to ridicule her speech or that she didn't hear something or understand what was said. So the younger kids are disrespecting her as well. UGH! And the parents?! Say nothing in her behalf, either. Just so upsetting that people that are supposed to love us, be family, yet are so awful.

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"We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them."
~~Carl Jung