Why do Deaf people feel ignored by many?

Booger_Bender · 12-21-2011, 06:32 PM

This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone?
I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain?

Moved to Our World, Our Culture
Moderator naisho

Sunshine · 12-21-2011, 06:33 PM

Because is easier hearies pretend we not exist than try learn communicate with us.

**deafskeptic** · 12-21-2011, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

Because is easier hearies pretend we not exist than try learn communicate with us.

Exactly.

posts from hell · 12-21-2011, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

Because is easier hearies pretend we not exist than try learn communicate with us.

Not the case around here...

**Jiro** · 12-21-2011, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Booger_Bender

This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone?
I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain?

well why do you act like one then?

take initiative. Rosa Parks style.

**mbrek** · 12-21-2011, 06:45 PM

I've been to deaf socials. I sure feel like the odd one out then - but I make an effort.

Booger_Bender · 12-21-2011, 07:14 PM

I probably appear to act like one because, I am the only Deaf in my entire family and not one member other than my fiancee who knows and understand ASL fluently or at all. I was raised forced in the hearing world with every aspect. While I do seem hearing I can honorably tell you I'm not. I'm just upset with the communication factor that hearies feel they rule over anyone else and completely ignore Deaf needs, instead they just tell us to join their culture instead if you want to be in regular society. It's like being a Dog chained up and never able to freely roam about happily.

blondon704 · 12-21-2011, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Booger_Bender

I probably appear to act like one because, I am the only Deaf in my entire family and not one member other than my fiancee who knows and understand ASL fluently or at all. I was raised forced in the hearing world with every aspect. While I do seem hearing I can honorably tell you I'm not. I'm just upset with the communication factor that hearies feel they rule over anyone else and completely ignore Deaf needs, instead they just tell us to join their culture instead if you want to be in regular society. It's like being a Dog chained up and never able to freely roam about happily.

I can assure you (for what the word of someone on a computer is worth) it is not like that with all hearing people.

Sunshine · 12-21-2011, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by posts from hell

Not the case around here...

Lucky!

**TWA** · 12-21-2011, 07:24 PM

We don't have this problem in Washington, D.C.

**Jiro** · 12-22-2011, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Booger_Bender

I probably appear to act like one because, I am the only Deaf in my entire family and not one member other than my fiancee who knows and understand ASL fluently or at all. I was raised forced in the hearing world with every aspect. While I do seem hearing I can honorably tell you I'm not. I'm just upset with the communication factor that hearies feel they rule over anyone else and completely ignore Deaf needs, instead they just tell us to join their culture instead if you want to be in regular society. It's like being a Dog chained up and never able to freely roam about happily.

so get a deaf girl.

I can make a simple effort to find a hearing GF but I didn't because I refuse to put myself in that situation again. it does take some effort to find a nice deaf girl but I think it's worth it.

dereksbicycles · 12-22-2011, 10:51 AM

I get ignored even by Deaf Community because not everyone like cars with turbocharged engine.

Seriously, I think that people who grew up in a Deaf Culture are more likely to want a Deaf/deaf relationship. They would make it an ultimatium to refuse to date a hearing person unless they're a CODA.

Would I want a daef/Deaf relationship? Yes, I would, but I chose to have a hearing girlfriend.

rockin'robin · 12-22-2011, 01:18 PM

everyone in my family are hearing, lots of my friends also....do I feel "ignored"...Hell NO!...I make my presence "known" and expect the same considerations from them as I'm considerate of them also. (I do get verbally Loud at times)

Do I feel somewhat "slighted" in group conversations, such as a party or get-together sometimes? Yes...since it's hard to follow the conversations. So, I'm moreso "one on one", not the same person tho'. Most all my friends and family take the time to make me comfortable, and not left out.....I also take the time to ask my boys (hearing) at home..."what's going on with you today? Ur plans for the weekend?"...etc., etc..."Anything you want to talk about?"

If I felt "ignored" by my family or friends, I'd let it be known to them how I felt....All my boys know ASL...so do 2 of my sisters, not fluently tho'. But enuf to get by....

I'm sure hearing people would feel ignored at an all deaf gathering too! So, it's both ways here. How we deal with it, makes the difference....

DeafTim · 12-22-2011, 01:23 PM

Know what bothers me? Dont pretend Im nawt deaf just b/c you dont know ASL. I just dont give a damn Im ignored b/c Im deaf. I love myself and fawk the rest.

Booger_Bender · 12-23-2011, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondon704

I can assure you (for what the word of someone on a computer is worth) it is not like that with all hearing people.

It's a general saying. Very broad. You're right not all Hearing people are the same. It's the majority against minority in this case.

MyNameIsNO · 12-23-2011, 08:58 AM

hearing peoples ignoreing deaf bec lazy for learns asl and they thinking hard communication with us!!!!! i doesnt give **** about some hearing people bec i got large family of deafs friend!!!! i am connect to deaf community so i not feel outcast.

dogmom · 12-23-2011, 09:09 AM

I think that's one of the reasons the d/Deaf community so important - the sense of connection-

blondon704 · 12-23-2011, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Booger_Bender

It's a general saying. Very broad. You're right not all Hearing people are the same. It's the majority against minority in this case.

true. I live in a very "sticks" type small area where people are extremely judgemental and harsh towards anything that their small little brains don't consider the normal. I have met (aside from my son) 5 Deaf/HoH people the entire 25 years of my life here. With those people, all being patients of mine, I made a solid attempt at trying to sign with them as much as I could. All of them were very polite with me even though I am just learning, I did have one man laugh in my face and tell me to use a pen and paper, but I didn't let that deter me I have only been self teaching myself for three years so you can imagine how far I have gotten on my own. Deaf, hearing, black, white, rainbow leprechauns I am going to go out of my way to make people feel welcome and comfortable around me.
We are still all the very same. I do understand your point though.

rockin'robin · 12-23-2011, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondon704

true. I live in a very "sticks" type small area where people are extremely judgemental and harsh towards anything that their small little brains don't consider the normal. I have met (aside from my son) 5 Deaf/HoH people the entire 25 years of my life here. With those people, all being patients of mine, I made a solid attempt at trying to sign with them as much as I could. All of them were very polite with me even though I am just learning, I did have one man laugh in my face and tell me to use a pen and paper, but I didn't let that deter me I have only been self teaching myself for three years so you can imagine how far I have gotten on my own. Deaf, hearing, black, white, rainbow leprechauns I am going to go out of my way to make people feel welcome and comfortable around me.
We are still all the very same. I do understand your point though.

With that attitude, you will adjust fine....

Grummer · 12-23-2011, 10:36 AM

wonder whats Flip got to say about this?

i , for one, would say, Hearing Culture is ****ed up. They never listen to what Deaf Culture has to say, so hence the ignorance.
There's ALOT of education needed....but also the other problem is sign languages and 'cultural studies' still paints a picture that we are some kind of 'interesting' ones...so its never taken seriously...now listen, read in between lines to those linguists says about Sign Langauges...(Write Alex said this before me, he observed right!) and this linguists never actually fight to perserve SL, but only in a sense of the word as "knowledge bases" for THEIR interests, not Deaf interests of us living-hood (if there's a such word)....

DeafTim · 12-23-2011, 02:30 PM

I dont know if Im makin sense or nawt. Hearing people have an alliance and we're being left out. They want to keep it that way b/c we're nawt as important as they are. That is how I feel.

CrzyMeg · 12-23-2011, 04:23 PM

IDK about me. I just stuck with both community Hearing and Deaf. Technically i have 2 separate Identities. My parents want me to speak or sign while talking which is difficult to do. So i just speak when i am around with hearing family members and hearing friends. I do have deaf friends as well and i sign with them. Sometimes i forget to spend time with deaf friends or hearing family when i with one group or other. It may be hard yes. But if hearing people doesnt want to signs that fine (well for me) I just encourage myself to think positive each day no matter who person is, there is many ways to communicate if something happens.

**Bottesini** · 12-23-2011, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockin'robin

everyone in my family are hearing, lots of my friends also....do I feel "ignored"...Hell NO!...I make my presence "known" and expect the same considerations from them as I'm considerate of them also. (I do get verbally Loud at times)

Do I feel somewhat "slighted" in group conversations, such as a party or get-together sometimes? Yes...since it's hard to follow the conversations. So, I'm moreso "one on one", not the same person tho'. Most all my friends and family take the time to make me comfortable, and not left out.....I also take the time to ask my boys (hearing) at home..."what's going on with you today? Ur plans for the weekend?"...etc., etc..."Anything you want to talk about?"

If I felt "ignored" by my family or friends, I'd let it be known to them how I felt....All my boys know ASL...so do 2 of my sisters, not fluently tho'. But enuf to get by....

I'm sure hearing people would feel ignored at an all deaf gathering too! So, it's both ways here. How we deal with it, makes the difference....

RR and I must be related. I don't get ignored either! Following group conversations doesn't work, but people absolutely do work to include me.

And if I get tired, I have lots of electronic toys to occupy me while I take a break.

Eighty · 12-24-2011, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Booger_Bender

This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone?
I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain?

I try not to think in this way. I consider it as "communication barrier" between majority and minority. Unfortunately, both side needs to put in extra effort to communicate and interact in non-native way.

Minorities need to put in extra effort to be heard. I appreciate all works that Deaf activists have done for America, it sure make our life MUCH easier compared to other countries.

Be thankful you werent born 100+ years ago.

**Cheetah** · 12-24-2011, 09:59 PM

It's always hard when I am with my gf family and my CI battery dies. I go completely deaf and her parents are near impossible to lip read. Her mother is also very judgemental about hearing. She gets upset if I cannot hear her and do not have a replacement battery with me. I try not to let it annoy me, but it does. I find I withdraw when this happens and that only makes things worse. Sigh. I feel I will be with my gf for a long time so I better get them turned around soon!!! Because there is no way in hell am I changing for them!!!

MyNameIsNO · 12-24-2011, 10:04 PM

hearing people coming and ask me teach them asl. then they excite and ask me asl of swear bad word. THAT IS ALL.. SIGNS FOR BAD WORD THAT THEY WANT KNOW. they not care for make convo with deaf person.

Bebonang · 12-25-2011, 06:31 PM

Hearing people ignored me as I had to asked them to repeat what they had said. Also when I was in elementary or high school, my hearing family don't want to learn ASL as I can talk to them, but not understand why I had trouble not understanding them very well. It is like they expect me to communicate with them all the way even lipreading, not half way with ASL. They don't want to bother learning about Deaf Culture and ASL at all. They would rather have us be like them alllllllll the waaaaay! Geeze.

lovezebras · 12-28-2011, 08:07 AM

sallylou do you follow voldemort on twitter :p

I also am not ignored I mean I get the occasional hearing trying to OVER help me and make up their own sign language or yell at me but mostly I just get ppl looking at my hearing aids...I do feel somewhat aloof when ALL my family is together because they forget that I can't hear half the time..but everyone I know still makes an effort to include me or help me out for the most part

Speedy Hawk · 12-28-2011, 08:51 AM

I really don't like Xmas eve and day and boxing day cos I have to be with whole family. They just ignore me. Like for example, I was trying to talk to one of them and he didn't answer to me, he act as if I am not there and other came up to talk to him and act as I wasn't there either. I tried but they just won't try with me.

Not nice for me. I always try get away as soon I can to my bedroom or other room to watch TV or laptop or read book.

flip · 12-28-2011, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grummer

wonder whats Flip got to say about this?

i , for one, would say, Hearing Culture is ****ed up. They never listen to what Deaf Culture has to say, so hence the ignorance.
There's ALOT of education needed....but also the other problem is sign languages and 'cultural studies' still paints a picture that we are some kind of 'interesting' ones...so its never taken seriously...now listen, read in between lines to those linguists says about Sign Langauges...(Write Alex said this before me, he observed right!) and this linguists never actually fight to perserve SL, but only in a sense of the word as "knowledge bases" for THEIR interests, not Deaf interests of us living-hood (if there's a such word)....

I'm guilty of this sometimes when I ask people who is easy to communicate with, leaving out hearies. But at family parties this is dumb and rude. Notice how I even generalise hearin people as not worthy of asking questions. Not proud of that.

Grummer, do you have any threads where you present proof about linguistics?

Btw, has people noticed how audist hearing people go quiet once jillio gets banned? Opinion of deaf people ain't worth a shit to them.

12-21-2011, 06:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
Booger_Bender Registered User Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 69	Why do Deaf people feel ignored by many? This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone? I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain? Moved to Our World, Our Culture Moderator naisho Last edited by naisho; 12-27-2011 at 09:41 AM.

12-21-2011, 06:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sunshine Banned Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Home of Canucks! Posts: 3,269 Blog Entries: 2	Because is easier hearies pretend we not exist than try learn communicate with us. deafskeptic, Buffalo, cmdrwhitewolf and 6 others like this.

12-21-2011, 06:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
mbrek Premium Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,512 Blog Entries: 1	I've been to deaf socials. I sure feel like the odd one out then - but I make an effort. posts from hell, cmdrwhitewolf, rockin'robin and 2 others like this. __________________ Sarcasm - just another little service I offer.

12-21-2011, 07:14 PM	#7 (permalink)
Booger_Bender Registered User Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 69	I probably appear to act like one because, I am the only Deaf in my entire family and not one member other than my fiancee who knows and understand ASL fluently or at all. I was raised forced in the hearing world with every aspect. While I do seem hearing I can honorably tell you I'm not. I'm just upset with the communication factor that hearies feel they rule over anyone else and completely ignore Deaf needs, instead they just tell us to join their culture instead if you want to be in regular society. It's like being a Dog chained up and never able to freely roam about happily. CrzyMeg and BecLak like this.

12-21-2011, 07:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
TWA Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,374	We don't have this problem in Washington, D.C. society's_child likes this.

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12-22-2011, 10:51 AM	#12 (permalink)
dereksbicycles Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: 60202 Posts: 3,813	I get ignored even by Deaf Community because not everyone like cars with turbocharged engine. Seriously, I think that people who grew up in a Deaf Culture are more likely to want a Deaf/deaf relationship. They would make it an ultimatium to refuse to date a hearing person unless they're a CODA. Would I want a daef/Deaf relationship? Yes, I would, but I chose to have a hearing girlfriend. Booger_Bender likes this.

12-22-2011, 01:18 PM	#13 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 15,320	everyone in my family are hearing, lots of my friends also....do I feel "ignored"...Hell NO!...I make my presence "known" and expect the same considerations from them as I'm considerate of them also. (I do get verbally Loud at times) Do I feel somewhat "slighted" in group conversations, such as a party or get-together sometimes? Yes...since it's hard to follow the conversations. So, I'm moreso "one on one", not the same person tho'. Most all my friends and family take the time to make me comfortable, and not left out.....I also take the time to ask my boys (hearing) at home..."what's going on with you today? Ur plans for the weekend?"...etc., etc..."Anything you want to talk about?" If I felt "ignored" by my family or friends, I'd let it be known to them how I felt....All my boys know ASL...so do 2 of my sisters, not fluently tho'. But enuf to get by.... I'm sure hearing people would feel ignored at an all deaf gathering too! So, it's both ways here. How we deal with it, makes the difference.... webexplorer, Bottesini, LoveBlue and 3 others like this.

12-22-2011, 01:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
DeafTim Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utica,OH Posts: 2,327	Know what bothers me? Dont pretend Im nawt deaf just b/c you dont know ASL. I just dont give a damn Im ignored b/c Im deaf. I love myself and fawk the rest. __________________ It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!! Harry Caray Mitt: I have 5 point plan President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan, He has one point plan! (ZINGER) Mitt Romney is a scam!!

12-23-2011, 08:58 AM	#16 (permalink)
MyNameIsNO Banned Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 692	hearing peoples ignoreing deaf bec lazy for learns asl and they thinking hard communication with us!!!!! i doesnt give **** about some hearing people bec i got large family of deafs friend!!!! i am connect to deaf community so i not feel outcast. ash345 likes this.

12-23-2011, 09:09 AM	#17 (permalink)
dogmom Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5,475	I think that's one of the reasons the d/Deaf community so important - the sense of connection-

12-23-2011, 10:36 AM	#20 (permalink)
Grummer Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Batcave Posts: 9,537	wonder whats Flip got to say about this? i , for one, would say, Hearing Culture is ****ed up. They never listen to what Deaf Culture has to say, so hence the ignorance. There's ALOT of education needed....but also the other problem is sign languages and 'cultural studies' still paints a picture that we are some kind of 'interesting' ones...so its never taken seriously...now listen, read in between lines to those linguists says about Sign Langauges...(Write Alex said this before me, he observed right!) and this linguists never actually fight to perserve SL, but only in a sense of the word as "knowledge bases" for THEIR interests, not Deaf interests of us living-hood (if there's a such word).... __________________ "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them." Albert Einstein

12-23-2011, 02:30 PM	#21 (permalink)
DeafTim Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utica,OH Posts: 2,327	I dont know if Im makin sense or nawt. Hearing people have an alliance and we're being left out. They want to keep it that way b/c we're nawt as important as they are. That is how I feel. __________________ It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!! Harry Caray Mitt: I have 5 point plan President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan, He has one point plan! (ZINGER) Mitt Romney is a scam!!

12-23-2011, 04:23 PM	#22 (permalink)
CrzyMeg Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Location: Pensacola Florida or coming back to Pensacola Posts: 6,227 Blog Entries: 1	IDK about me. I just stuck with both community Hearing and Deaf. Technically i have 2 separate Identities. My parents want me to speak or sign while talking which is difficult to do. So i just speak when i am around with hearing family members and hearing friends. I do have deaf friends as well and i sign with them. Sometimes i forget to spend time with deaf friends or hearing family when i with one group or other. It may be hard yes. But if hearing people doesnt want to signs that fine (well for me) I just encourage myself to think positive each day no matter who person is, there is many ways to communicate if something happens. __________________ A PROUD POLYNESIAN INDIAN

12-24-2011, 09:59 PM	#25 (permalink)
Cheetah Cheetah Consulting-Closed Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2,694	It's always hard when I am with my gf family and my CI battery dies. I go completely deaf and her parents are near impossible to lip read. Her mother is also very judgemental about hearing. She gets upset if I cannot hear her and do not have a replacement battery with me. I try not to let it annoy me, but it does. I find I withdraw when this happens and that only makes things worse. Sigh. I feel I will be with my gf for a long time so I better get them turned around soon!!! Because there is no way in hell am I changing for them!!! cmdrwhitewolf and Booger_Bender like this. __________________ The Cheetah Consulting services No request too small, no fee too large! Serving the deaf world wide since yesterday. Open daily 9 ~ 5

12-24-2011, 10:04 PM	#26 (permalink)
MyNameIsNO Banned Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 692	hearing people coming and ask me teach them asl. then they excite and ask me asl of swear bad word. THAT IS ALL.. SIGNS FOR BAD WORD THAT THEY WANT KNOW. they not care for make convo with deaf person. coolgirlspyer90 likes this.

12-25-2011, 06:31 PM	#27 (permalink)
Bebonang Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manitoulin Island on Lake Huron in Canada Posts: 7,009	Hearing people ignored me as I had to asked them to repeat what they had said. Also when I was in elementary or high school, my hearing family don't want to learn ASL as I can talk to them, but not understand why I had trouble not understanding them very well. It is like they expect me to communicate with them all the way even lipreading, not half way with ASL. They don't want to bother learning about Deaf Culture and ASL at all. They would rather have us be like them alllllllll the waaaaay! Geeze. BecLak likes this. __________________ I HAVE BEEN DEAF SINCE BIRTH, AND IT IS STILL AWESOME TO BE . (thumb up) (very happy)

12-28-2011, 08:07 AM	#28 (permalink)
lovezebras Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 3,963	sallylou do you follow voldemort on twitter :p I also am not ignored I mean I get the occasional hearing trying to OVER help me and make up their own sign language or yell at me but mostly I just get ppl looking at my hearing aids...I do feel somewhat aloof when ALL my family is together because they forget that I can't hear half the time..but everyone I know still makes an effort to include me or help me out for the most part rockin'robin likes this.

12-28-2011, 08:51 AM	#29 (permalink)
Speedy Hawk Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: England Posts: 816	I really don't like Xmas eve and day and boxing day cos I have to be with whole family. They just ignore me. Like for example, I was trying to talk to one of them and he didn't answer to me, he act as if I am not there and other came up to talk to him and act as I wasn't there either. I tried but they just won't try with me. Not nice for me. I always try get away as soon I can to my bedroom or other room to watch TV or laptop or read book. __________________ Free Jillio!!

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