posts from hell

Title was derived from the Butterfly Effect series of articles.

I thought it was fitting for this thread.

Why are there so many hearing parents out in the blogosphere and various forms of social media more than willing to put their CI children out there, pictures, stories, and various other information about their child while concealing their information?

Like no pictures of the parents, trying to not share locations of the parents.

I mean.... The reason I thought of this, if the parents were personally scared for their safety of the likes of the craigslist killer or what not they should apply that value to their own children.

It doesn't make sense.

Deafness

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Sunshine

Hmm...interesting thought...very true!

dogmom

"success" <based on hearing bias> , want to share their "success" with other parents...

ego

individual <look what my child has/does> vs. collective <integral circle, cultural>

Frisky Feline

give more examples? im feeling so HUH?

i understand that there are lots of parents only put the pictures of their kids who have ci on blogs rather than parents faces on it.

posts from hell

Yeah that is one of the examples...

Using that - If the child was not deaf, would the parent openly put their child on a podium on the internet?

I have a feeling it wouldn't happen.

Transgressing the object is looking past the term: "Deaf Child" and seeing "Child" as in a human.

If you had a child, you usually would apply your beliefs that you have for yourself to your child. This applies to everything, like religion - you christian, usually your child will go to the same church as you do.
In this sense of internet safety, privacy... I would apply the same level of privacy to my kids that I expect for myself, or better. Not the other way around.

But now, there are people with "Deaf Child" in their heads and apply a whole different set of rules for the child.

Sucks, in my opinion.

Frisky Feline

I don't really seen any parents of hearing kids on internet such as blog, social networking sites, any kind of websites or anything but special needs yes. I am not comfortable about this one. I keep wondering what is going to happen to those special need kids when they get older, and will strangers recognize them and approach them like they know this child or the child who become adult. I dont know about this one. Or other parents of special need kids will bump inot this child who read so much about this child then the other parents will approach this child or the child who becomes adult differently. I dont know but the point is that i dislike the idea of seeing lots of parents put their own kids on blog to focus on because they are special. I myself hate using the special need or special. How ironic i used the term as above in my post. LOL

jillio

I have always wondered about the propensity of parents who put their children out there in that way. It appears that their children are no more than an object through which they can satisfy their own frustrated needs. I find it extremely disturbing.

It would appear to have much to do with a vicarious sense of accomplishment. The parents have failed to accomplish much on their own, but via blogs, social networking, etc. they can demonstrate to a large number of people with minimum effort, "Look what I did! I am so great that I took a deaf child and turned them into a reasonable facsimile of a hearing child! Watch this video and praise me as a parent! Read this anecdote and see how much I sacrifice! I took this poor handicapped child and re-molded them into a normal child! Aren't I just the most fabulous, most intelligent, most amazing parent ever to walk the earth?"

I see many paralles between pagent parents and these parents. It is objectivication in the extreme.

posts from hell

That! The child will always feel that way. "Is the world watching me????" How can the child be him/herself that way?

jillio

They can't. They develop a sense of themselves as a performer, and their primary goal becomes to perform in order to gain approval from others. Very destructive.

Frisky Feline

yeah I did ask my kids if its ok for me to post the photos of them on my facebook. my kids pick some pictures that they dont mind and some other pictures they dont want me to. SO i didnt realize that they do have feelings. so i cut down on photos but soemtimes i cant help it but always ask my kids. my boy says, " friends are looking at me???? ". wow he's only 8 yrs old! My girl did not mind but wanted to check which photos that she didnt mind. ALWAYS check kids for their permission. They do not have any special needs.

jillio

See, you are proud of your kids, but you understand, too that they deserve respect for their feelings. You don't have a need to show them off so you can look like a great mom who gave birth to beautiful children. You have an indentity of your own. You don't have to create one through them. As a consequence, you are raising emotionally and mentally healthy and well adjusted children.

AlleyCat

I totally get that too. I always ask my honey (or whoever's pixs I am posting on FB) if that picture is ok by them first before I post it.

posts from hell

dogmom

good thread, makes me think