Sunshine

I always voice-off whole life. Born deaf, no cochleas, no sound at all. No concept phonetics. Years speech therapy small child, never learn speak (never want learn).

Recent, think possible want learn voice-on. Not want use always, maybe nice have option? Sister teach me say Mama recent...mom so happy she cry. Maybe learn more, she happy more?

Questions ---

Mama very hard learn say, sister say m,a simple sounds learn. It will be very hard learn complicated sounds? Words?
Feel maybe like betray decision be voice off?

Any of you decide go voice on adult age? How work?

Deafness

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Bottesini

I know one person that did. I think she found it very hard and kind of gave up but with the idea she might try later.

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DeafBadger

I think it is okay for you to do whatever you want to do, Sunny. It will be a lot of hard, hard work to develop speech so the average hearie can understand you, but there's no reason why you cannot make your mom happy by saying, "Mama."

It's all up to you. Never mind what other people say. And if you don't want to continue, that's also up to you.

I'm saying this as someone who has some hearing and learned speech in mainstreamed school. So maybe what I'm saying isn't really relevant to you. But that's my opinion anyway, it's all up to you.

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naisho

Yep, nothing ever wrong with learning a new language. It's up to you to use it that counts.

I learned ASL after my 20's, learned oral english, chinese at my toddler ages, picked up other languages like japanese, spanish at school.
I tried to give a lesson with a random deafie at a deaf event to see if they could master a few sentences, learned that it's really hard to teach voice tones because there's no way to teach it other than hearing or feeling it.

It's definitely going to be really hard, but I think it is doable. Lots of trial and error, it feels a lot like Helen Keller story. But it's better since at least you can see.

Sunshine

I think sort of want try...

naisho

Have question for you, help undy deafies better.

Why feel betray?
Is bad voice-on?

Sunshine

Voice-on not "bad"...but long ago make choice not use voice, not learn speak, embrace who I am natural. Take long time convince parents this what I want. Feel now like change mind, kind of...not know...feel betrayal. Not know why. Is like try become hearie? Try pretend hearie?

Jazzberry

I agree that its entirely up to you if you want to try using your voice.

I don't think that doing so means that you want to be a hearie anymore then it means that an African-American who wants to learn how to speak Mandarin wants to become Chinese or that a Caucasian who wants to learn how to speak Spanish wants to become Hispanic.

I don't think it would be fair to expect you to limit yourself to decisions made earlier in your life. I don't think it is fair or reasonable to expect that from anyone.

I'm HH, and have always been HH. I had some speech therapy when I was a kid and I opted to take more when I was in college and again when I was around 30 and had the money and the time. I found it very difficult to learn how to say sounds that I either couldn't hear well or even at all. But its certainly possible. It helps a lot to have a talented teacher.

FWIW, I'm sure I sound HH but when it comes up, people deny it. Well, I don't believe them. People lie and some of them, if they like you, will even be more likely to tell you "white lies."

However, I know that most people understand me and that it's usually not necc. for me to repeat myself. Most people no longer wince when I talk either. That wasn't always the case, I apparently had a very high pitched voice when I was a kid before I figured out how to talk from lower down in my throat. I worked hard to get to this point. That was my goal and I'm happy I reached it. I was lucky that occassionally I had helpful teachers -- there is absolutely no way I could have done any of this on my own. FWIW, during the times I didn't have access to helpful teachers I didn't attempt to work on my speech -- there was no point. I didn't work on my speech at all during high school.

I don't look at this politically -- for me its just one more tool in the toolbox. I'm happy I have the tool. I don't think its worth driving yourself insane to get that tool. But if you happen to have access to a talented teacher* who can help you get there and if that's what you want and if it appears that you are making progress without disrupting or taking away from other important areas of your life -- go for it!


* Note: And that teacher could very well be your sister. I think it requires imagination and empathy to teach someone who can't hear how to speak -- and IMHO, not all professional speech therapists qualify.

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I was a mainstreamed "solitaire". I'm currently learning ASL. My hearing loss ranges from moderate to profound; my audiogram and speech discrimination are posted here.

Sunshine

Season say she happy try teach me. Guess will see too hard, or not too hard!

mbrek

No one will hold you to what you decided to do at one time. You have every right to change your mind and give it a try! Sunny, you are so courageous - I admire you for determination.

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KarissaMann05

Go ahead! If you want to try it, go for it!

Sunshine

Thank you i think will be very hard...will let you know I fail or not!

Jazzberry

Sunny, I think you sister can definitely help you with feedback. That is, she will be able to tell you when you are making a sound more clearly or less clearly. That kind of help is major. I would have loved it if anyone in my family would have been willing to help me that way when I was a kid.

Probably teaching you how to make a sound that you can't hear will be more of a challenge. I don't think most hearing people are accustomed to thinking about it consciously. It seems that they just do it, like they automatically move their body, arms and hands to catch a ball. I know in the past when I have asked people to write down the phonetic pronunciation of a word and NOT the spelling most people could not do it. I eventually learned to ask other people with hearing loss, mostly, for that info if for some reason I couldn’t get near a dictionary or I needed help figuring out how to pronounce a name of a person or place that wasn't in the dictionary. But hey, your sister has already taught you how to say the syllable "Ma". She must be naturally talented!

In case it's of interest, here's what I can recall that my effective speech therapists did for me. They broke down sounds for me this way --

* Where is the tongue?
* Does it move to make the sound? Or stays still?

* Is the sound voiced? Made more nasal? That is do you add vibration from your voice box or nose to that particular sound?

I think some sounds that add vibration from the voice box is called "voiced." FWIW, I always thought that term was weird. Obviously all sounds must be voiced, right? Otherwise, how could any hearing person hear them? But I guess the profession uses that term to distinguish between sounds that have voice box vibration from sounds that don't. For example -- when you get to the "th" sound -- I think "these" is considered voiced and "think" isn't considered voiced.

Also, one of the differences between the "m" and "p" sounds (which as I'm sure you know look alike on the lips) is that the "m" sound vibrates in both the voicebox and the nose and the "p" doesn't.

* How do you tweak the air from your lungs on its way out from your mouth?
In addition to knowing whether to add vibration from the voicebox, nose or both --
Do you squeeze it out like the "s" or "f"? And when you squeeze it, do you squeeze it near where the roof of the mouth ends ("s") or right behind the upper fronth teeth ("f")? Do you lightly pat it on its way out with your lips like with the "p"? Maybe pat it a little harder like with the "b"? And so on.


I think this area of speech therapy is called "articulation". Here's a 29-second MRI clip that shows how the "articulators" move while someone is talking: link. No caption unfortunately but I think its still cool to see how the tongue, lips, roof of the mouth, back of the mouth, etc. changes over the 29 seconds while she is talking.

Speech therapy is an area that I think most state disability offices in the US would pay for if you wanted to go see a professional speech therapist. Perhaps this is the same in Canada?

If not, sometimes university and colleges look for people for their students to work with under supervision. If this is managed well by the school, it can be a win/win situation.

Perhaps your sister could sit in with you on the appointments so that she could better help you practice how to make the sounds in between the appointments.

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I was a mainstreamed "solitaire". I'm currently learning ASL. My hearing loss ranges from moderate to profound; my audiogram and speech discrimination are posted here.

Sunshine

Thank you such wonderful help Jazzberry!!!!!

dogmom

Sunny

mbrek

You cannot NOT FAIL! You will only try. No test here!

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Speedy Hawk

Good luck and keep positive and don't try too hard.

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ash345

if you want to try, then try. Remember, it is not a 100% of the time choice. You do not have to be voice on all the time, or voice off all the time... do what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy. Do not do this for anyone else but you, YOU are the one that matters. It is hard, it will always be hard, but do what makes you happy. Remember, being voice on doesn't define who you are, or even what you are capable of doing, you will still be the same Sunny! Remind your parents though, that it will not be for them that you are doing this, and that doesn't change your main language being sign, and it doesn't make lipreading any easier... but if this is something you want to do, go for it. and you will not fail, oral failures (in my book anyway) are non existant... some people learn to speak, some don't, some want to, some don't... but no one should be classified as a failure because they couldn't do something that doesn't come natural to them, or because they changed their mind.

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"Love and dreams are miraculous, they don't need to be heard or said or translated, only felt"

That Deaf Girl

Sunshine

I very conflict about this decision! Part me want try...part me think "no! Bad Deafie! ASL only!"

ash345

conflict happen... it is part of being an adult... I'm conflicted about going back to school or not... learning to speak isn't being a bad Deafie... its not like you are going to be using voice only... tell us why you want to go voice on... or try to... maybe chatting about it will help you understand conflict why... and what you really think about it.

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with a capital D, more than just a state of being, its family, belonging, home

"Love and dreams are miraculous, they don't need to be heard or said or translated, only felt"

That Deaf Girl

mbrek

You're *right*. Bad Deafie! You're no longer a member of the club if you speak. Turn in your membership card and leave in disgrace. No refund of dues, either. If your ears don't work, everyone KNOWS you can't speak - so quit fooling yourself. You have no right to speak at all.

(And if you can't read the sarcasm in this post... puh-lease!)

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ash345

Oh mbrek

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with a capital D, more than just a state of being, its family, belonging, home

"Love and dreams are miraculous, they don't need to be heard or said or translated, only felt"

That Deaf Girl

Frisky Feline

I use my voice since i was a toddler but didn't speak very well. I speak one short word at a time . Not smooth or missing some pronounce vowels.

any person who knows me for a long time and understand my voice. Like my kids'. I think my kids are the only one who understand me better than my parents.


Just go at your own pace using your voice and find your own comfort zone of your voice. Put your two fingers on your neck where you can feel the vibration that makes sound. just relax and focus on your own, not anyone's.

rebeccalj

That must have been *SO* special for Mum and you.

If you want try should. Up to you.

Sunshine

Just for anyone maybe wonder, I not think is possible learn speak now. One word wonder. Lol.

posts from hell

heh

rebeccalj

Well, most important person in life got that 'one word wonder.'

StevieMont927

No harm in trying . Do what'll make you happy!! I'll root for you either way.

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TXgolfer

I don't know much about it but I wish you luck.

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Journey

Aw I can just imagine how your Mom's heart felt hearing you say mama. I don't think you should feel you are betraying anyone or anything. If you want to give it a try, you should. We set the rules for our own lives ... and yes those rules can change as we grow or experience new things.