GrayEagle

So unbelievable the weird ideas people have!

Deafness

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GrayEagle

Here's one of my stories from my health care experiences:

I went in for a bone density scan on my forearm. As I always do, I explain I am HOH and wear two hearing aids. I request that they face me, stand close to me, don't talk over their shoulders or with their backs turned to the computer. The usual I always do. The technician had the rudeness (after I was having to constantly remind her when giving me instructions or telling me what came next, to FACE ME instead of turning her back clicking keys on her computer), to tell me next time I should request "extra time" for an appt. because it took too long to communicate with me! I reported her. Grrrrr! :/

MintyOreo

Oh trust me, I have PLENTY more stories where that came from! I could either get mad at hearing people, or I could laugh. I've recently decided that it just isn't worth it to get angry at them. Instead, I just laugh!

GrayEagle

True, sometimes that's all you can do, and just shrug & walk away, and chalk it up to ignorance. Mostly I try to explain a bit, but some people, while fully hearing, can't "hear me," you know? But, when it comes to my health care, I speak up, for sure!

MintyOreo

Something similar happened to me yesterday. Yesterday, I went into the city for doctors appointments. After I was done with some of my doctors appointments, I decided to go to the mall for a few minutes before my next appointment, because I needed some ear cleaning solution stuff. (The stuff that you clean earrings with. I have VERY sensitive skin, and if I don't clean my earrings every day REALLY well, I get very bad infections. The formula that I use is sold at a specific store in the mall.) I had a notebook and a pen with me, so that I would be able to better communicate with hearing people. I went up to the store that sells the ear cleaning solution stuff. I walked up to the counter and handed the girl at the counter my notebook, which said something like "I'm deaf. Please write notes to me to communicate. Thank you!", and then I had written a note asking her for a bottle of the ear cleaning solution stuff, which is stored behind the counter, and how much it costs.

Now, it should have only taken a minute or two to buy what I needed and get out of the store. But nooooo. The girl looked stunned for a moment, then got a weird look on her face. She started trying to talk to me, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I wrote her a note, again, asking her to please write notes to me because I can't hear. She then went and got another co-worker, who also was stunned and didn't seem to know how to react. The two girls talked about me for a few minutes, backs turned towards me. I only had a few minutes to get what I needed and out of the mall, because I had another appointment that I had to go to soon. So, I tapped the girls on the shoulder and wrote them a note telling them that I had to hurry, and that I needed to buy a bottle of the ear cleaning solution stuff. The girls got all attitude on me, and ignored me. (I think one of them told me to shut up, but I'm not sure.) I was getting impatient and I really had to hurry, so I went around to the other side of the counter and grabbed a bottle of the ear cleaning solution stuff myself - much to the girls' surprise. I saw the price tag said $8 (including tax), so I put the money on the counter and left.

GrayEagle

That is horrible! Too bad their supervisor wasn't there. If it's a chain store, maybe write their corporate offices and tell them about this rude behavior? Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to make a formal complaint, but if you have to buy from that store in the future, maybe a good idea? That is inexcusable! Maybe they were illiterate and couldn't read?

Good for you, to get what you needed & paying for it, since they weren't capable of doing their job, selling you the item and taking your $$$.

green427

As someone who has been deaf for almost 40 years, I suggest you just point at your ears and say "Deaf", then write down what you want in the simplest terms (i.e. "Looking for XXXX and XXXX"), no need to explain yourself. This seems to work for all ranges of dumbasses out there.

Some of us with smartphones type notes and show the phone to the counter person.

Warning: there are some really, really stupid people out there, they will give you Braille menus when you write down what you want.

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

green427

I was asked by a hearing guy how I am able to enjoy sex if I can't hear.......

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

Jiro

"Less talk, more action"

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- Don't forget to buy Jiro's Special Edition Sunglasses for $19.95

MintyOreo

Thanks for the tip! I just found the note that I wrote, and it said this:

"I'm deaf. Please write notes to me. Thanks!

I need a bottle of the ear care solution. How much does it cost?"

I THOUGHT that this would be good enough, but apparently, it isn't, because the girl at the counter flipped out :/

MintyOreo

Maybe I will write their corporate office. I don't know. I don't go to that store very often - maybe a few times a year, if that. (I buy one bottle of their ear care solution and mix it with something else to make my own formula to use.)

Your right, it's inexcusable. The girls were older teens, maybe college aged. But they should know better. (I'm a teen, too. If I know better, then they are capable of knowing better, too. I know that I'm deaf and they are not, so I do know more about being deaf than they do, obviously. But, that doesn't give them the right to be rude to me, their customer - which they were.)

green427

There are plenty of paranoid folks out there....the cashiers probably were wondering if you intended to rob the place but gave them the wrong note....

My best friend is also deaf, and has a heavy nasal monotone voice, and many times people assume he is talking like that on purpose to be insulting, and we've been kicked out of restaurants as kids for that reason.

As you now understand, being deaf is not such a bad thing...until you need to deal with ignorant hearing people.

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

MintyOreo

I've had that happen to me before! I decided to play along and pretend to "read" the Braille menu. I was with a couple of (hearing) friends, and this just cracked them up.

MintyOreo

True. But I wrote the note right in front of them. And honestly, I don't look scary or threatening at all. I couldn't beat up anyone if I tried

AurorasLight

Man, I have GOT to start wearing earrings! That made my day. Soooooo funny!

rockin'robin

CreatedNat

I have people asking me all the time, oh... did you give your daughter the deaf? the deaf? didn't know that was a thing. But really... most of the hearing people I have come in contact with (mostly everyone I know) has been wonderful about my Deafness. I remember my husband, before he was my husband, trying to talk to me with my back turned... we were at church, and it was the first time we met. My parents politely informed him that I was Deaf, I knew he was talking, but I thought he was trying to talk to someone else. Then he came around, started talking to me... and I couldn't understand a word he was saying... he had a mustache and beard... what was really sweet, the next sunday at church, he had shaved it off completely so I could understand him, and he learned to say a few words in ASL, and asked his dad, who is our Pastor, to get an ASL interpreter for me, so I could understand the message... No one but my parents had ever done that for me (is it any wonder I married him?)...

but even some of the people at church started to be a little stand offish when they found out I was Deaf, and I've heard everything from, how can you drive, to are you allowed to have children (this is even when I'm holding my twins)...

green427

Upon request, I called a co-worker over the VP using the VCO option. He answered, and I said:

"Hi Charlie, what can I do for you?"

(long pause)

"Is that you, Jim?"

"Yes, it is me. What's up?"

Hi, ummmmm..can you do that interpreter thingy so I can talk to you?"

"Charlie, I am using that "interpreter thingy" right now...."

"Oh, so there is an interpreter there right now?"

"Yes. What do you need?"

The interpreter looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh....

(Yes, I've explained and showed him how the VP works, but he just doesn't get it)....

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

green427

Yeah, I've run into folks that thought deafness was a contagious disease. It is not just deafness....some parents refused to let their kids near my son when he was little for fear of contracting autism......

__________________
Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

rockin'robin

....The clerks were teens or very young....and when you wrote that you were Deaf...and wanted a "cleaning solution"....I assume they thought you needed something to clean out ur ears so you could "hear"!.......and possible they thought you were pulling a "prank"??...People asss-uuu-mmm-ee a lot!

CreatedNat

VCO is one of my favorite features! much faster then captioning. Never seen that before though... "interpreter thingy" very interesting. I'm always amazed at how my generation (and even older generations) speak... and people say we Deaf have no understanding of english grammar... have you seen how some of the kids type? its appalling.

CreatedNat

thats just horrible... you cannot contract autism, you cannot contract deafness... or any other "disability" from simply being in contact with someone who has it. How old is your son? I'm so sorry. I'm sure your son is a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent child! What is this world coming to? do people have no understanding of "love thy neighbor as thyself"?

GrayEagle

As for pursuing a complaint, perhaps think of other people who may go to that store, who are Deaf or HOH, and need communication accommodation. If no one complains, these incompetent staff won't be taught proper behaviors with customers, and be able to continue to be rude. That can drive away business. And IMO? They are likely rude to a lot of people, not just in your case. They seriously need some re-training.

I agree, they do not have the right to be rude to you -- or to ANY customer coming in, who is being polite and trying to do business in that shop, for that matter. PERIOD. No excuse for their behavior! They represent the business they work for, and it sounds like they are doing a lousy job of it and not earning their paychecks. I think the owner needs to know. They could be driving business away by their immaturity and incompetence. Just saying...

I am taking a beginning lip reading class. (I am HOH, losing hearing later in life, and so having to learn added skills like lip reading and ASL). Last night we discussed what the teacher termed, "self-advocacy." If we don't speak up for ourselves and our communication needs in our everyday life, who will? And who will educate the clueless, rude and just plain ignorant? Good questions that I am mulling over in my own mind, and thinking about times that I was left just shaking my head, and not knowing if I should speak up or not. I am getting more outspoken these days, but still sometimes I feel blindsided by rudeness and not sure what to do, either. Sometimes difficult to know how far to go, right?

Grayma

Let the owner know. I promise you, owners usually do want to know how their employees treat their customers.

greenfroggy

I'm hearing and I do not believe in getting a CI. I feel that the Deaf should be proud of their deaf culture and community no matter if a dumb hearing person has a problem with it.

Bottesini

^^^^^^^^^^^

Annoying ignorant hearing person!!!!

What does your opinion matter on this subject??

Why would you even think you should have any input??

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drphil

Greenfroggy: as a bilateral DEAF person since December 20, 2006 I do have a Cochlear Implant.I am still DEAF -right now. ( Battery being recharged)
Unlike your "observation" haven't met any "dumb hearing persons" suggesting I should consider one.
I started the process to determine if suitable to be Implanted- I was

I am well aware of the "split-re: Cultural vs oral".Deaf.

Echoes here in AllDeaf.com.

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Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

freshfighter4

I had a substitute teacher one day for the ASL class at my school. She turned to one of the deaf students in the class (she, another friend of ours, and I go in for our lunch period) because she was having a conversation with another student and tells her, slowly and loudly (very ignorantly), "You can teach the class."


I wasn't in the room at the time so somebody told me this (actually it was more than one person that told me) and I say... -__- "Seriously? Was the sub really that stupid and ignorant?"

kellycat

That was my thought too...that when you said ear cleaning solution it might have confused these gals. I teach high school and can see that being the thought process of some of my students. A lot of people, believe it or not, wouldn't make the jump from "ear cleaning solution" to "earring cleaning solution". Plus, I try to assume it is ignorance or naïveté rather than any malice or bad intent. Most people mean well, and just screw it up.

Writing to the company or store manager in a firm but kind way, without sounding irate, could alert them to a problem with their training and help them help others in the future! On the other hand, if a service worker is especially responsive, let that manager know too, they so seldom hear good news. A Deaf friend of mine went into the Apple store, showed the guy there a note saying she was deaf, and had a question about something, and he immediately flipped on a computer or iPad (I forget which) and had her type out her issue, and he responded typing to her, without hesitation, as if this was how he communicated wirh everyone. No fumbling, hesitating, looking for another employee to "handle" her, and never gave the impression that this was taking too much time, or that it was a hassle. She was really impressed.

Glenn

Herb Larson, deaf advocate, once told a story about his stay at a hotel.

He asked them to wake him up at a certain time in the morning.

So what did they do?

They sent someone to his room to slip a note under the door that said "Wake up!"