nymory

I think kbnyc is correct.

I had not met a single person that was deaf or hard of hearing until I was in my early 20's. When I met my friend Cory, I took classes to learn ASL so that I could communicate with him. I am poor at it, often finger-spelling, but we can have a conversation. He helped me to understand what it was to be deaf, how he overcame things in his life, and what challenges he faced. I learned how he listened to music, was able to drive a car, all things I didn't know he could do as a deaf person.

I don't think that all hearing people feel they are better than deaf people. I think they do not understand deafness and its culture. People often fear things they do not understand.

Please help them understand!!!!

Hearing cultures stereotype all the time, whether you are deaf, black, white, overweight, short or tall--you are usually part of a group and certain things are considered more acceptable than others, depending on what group you belong to.

I am still learning--Just today I was reading about Oralism vs. ASL and its history--I was ashamed to read about what was done to deaf people in the 1800s.

Please don't widen the gap by avoiding hearing people--open up to them and help them understand.

Deafness

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deafskeptic

Hearing like you are a welcome change from those hearing who don't think they need to learn our history and that they know more than us; I can think of one hearing person with such an attitude right here on AD. He/she shall remain unnamed. We don't expect everyone to know where deaf comes from - only that they have an open attitude.

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chocoholic

there are ignorant and intolerant people in every community. It's usually just that though ignorance. I only met a deaf person for the first time about a year ago and i'm 20. I thought the ASL looked amazing because i just love language in general and it was just an entirely new form of communication unlike any other. I finally got up the courage to start taking classes this summer (i was sure i'd get it wrong and look stupid, and yeah i make plenty of mistakes but i'm enjoying it too much to give it up) I think if more hearing people were exposed to deaf culture there would be a lot less discrimination.

StevieMont927

kbnyc said it better than I ever could. As I've met maybe two or three Deaf people in my entire life (outside of AD) I really didn't understand anything about deafness. I was brought up to help the "handicapped", and that the loss of a sense automatically decreased quality of life. It wasn't until I got online and started reading that I figured out that what I thought I knew was wrong. I think it's more a matter of education that a sense of superiority (not 100% of the time, but a good chunk of it).

If more people took the initiative and tried to learn something, things'd be much better. I learn new things every day here. Thanks for being patient with me, guys!

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"This above all: To thine own self be true."

Mintee

some hearing people think that deafness is a form of retardation.. really pisses me off.

i hate when they talk to us in a condescending manner.. they need to learn how to communicate with the deaf

FireTiger

It's not one group over another group, I see it all the time.

"You are all special and unique, just like everyone else..." "Everyone deserves everything" "Self-esteem is more important then doing the right thing" (BS! )

The generations being raised up that they can do no wrong and every request is answered 'yes' are lie that, also the generation that had to work for every scrap of anything they had don't want to give anymore... two extremes one conclusion.

"I'm better then everyone else because (I deserve it/ I worked for it)"

rebeccalj

They are?

Bottesini

No they are not!

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kdaniels39

I feel that is a very ignorant statement....if deaf people do not want to be categorized into one group then why would hearing people. ALL people are different. Doesnt matter if you are black, white, hearing, deaf, blind, etc. there are going to be mean and nice people.

I am not deaf but my dad is. Ive been immersed in both cultures and I can not understand why someone would make a comment like that. I have been discriminated against both hearing an deaf people, but i have also been accepted with open arms to both.

Its a give and take relationship, you treat others the way you want to be treated and even if they are rude, you kill them with kindness. I dont understand why you would want to treat another human being any other way. We are all human and we have all made mistakes. A smile and kindness can go a long way. Just remember the way you act sets the standard for others so lead by example.

rockin'robin

I've met quite few people who thought or believed they were better than I....until they got to know me.......and I've also had some people tell me that I was the "smartest" person they had ever known........(one of my sons and a sister told me that)...ah well...tongue in cheek...and with a grain of salt...I am somebody, 'cause God don't make no junk...and that's the truth.

DeafCaroline

Who are you responding to?

rebeccalj

Not what I mean. Sarcastic as if to say, "Who said they are?" Or, "Wow, did not know that. Who knew?" Or, "They are? Says who?"

Bottesini

Oh..

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Deafguy25

The word you are looking for is not "hearing people" but instead "jackasses".

AlleyCat

(zippers hands shut right now)

Babyblue

Do say?? Now why do you think that??

Or are you just being sarcastic??

AlleyCat

I think he was referring to himself. ?

babiepine101

I have to agree with the post above when they say that ALL hearing people are not like that. I think there are naive hearing people out there who know not of or very little about deaf culture and shame on them for belittling deaf individuals because I know MANY deaf people who are intelligent and quite frankly know more that most hearing people.

In my own opinion, I feel that it's not a matter of deaf or hearing but who we are as people. While I understand the reasoning behind this post, I don't think its fair to say that ALL hearing people think they are better than deaf people. A word of advise, if anyone deaf or hearing comes across as someone who "acts" or "thinks" that they are better than you then you automatically know for a fact that they aren't. If someone has to "act" like they are better than the next person than they have little self worth.

Just my silly ol' opinion. Do with it what you will. Hope you have a great day!

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Deafguy25

Because it isn't all hearing people, it is just the jackasses.

whatdidyousay!

JFK had a horrible back problem and he tried to hide it too. JFK was in a lot of pain. McCain hide his pains to , he was a POW had his bones broken . People always think they're better than someone else .

joycem137

I think part of it is the stereotype/caricature of Deaf people that hearing people are taught. Growing up, the image of deaf people that I gleaned from media and my culture was that Deaf people were "hearing people that lacked hearing." They were a people that lacked, were less than, diminished, reduced, beneath us, pitiable. You get the idea.

You also get the fact that being Deaf is often associated with being mentally handicapped in hearing media and culture. It all adds up to a really screwed up picture of Deaf people that hearing people get fed. And because of the communication divides between much of hearing and Deaf culture, there is little opportunity for this image to be corrected.

Even now, after everything I learned, it wasn't until I went to a Deaf story/poetry/etc event that I really ousted a lot of the unconscious perceptions about who and what Deaf people are. For the first time in my life, I saw Deaf people not as less than or diminished, but as full and whole people in their own right. It was so deeply ingrained in me on an unconscious level that it took seeing Deaf people in their own environment to really root it out and destroy it.

So... I think that's why hearing people think they're better than Deaf. Their only understanding of what it means to be Deaf comes from caricatures and stereotypes fed to them by a Deaf-unfriendly media, and we don't get a lot of contact with actual Deaf folks to undo those images.

Journey

"Furthermore, for some reason in hearing culture, it is important to mock people that are different, unusual or strange."

I am sorry you grew up in a culture that feels this way. However, the 'hearing culture' I grew up in, and still live in, believes mocking anyone is rude, close-minded and unacceptable.

joycem137

I wish I could have grown up in your culture. I grew up in a very backwards place with really narrow minded and unpleasant people.

Journey

Well Joyce it looks like you have an important purpose to your life already ... to open the minds and hearts of the people you grew up with. With patience. a warm smile and some gentle educating, I bet you could do a great job in making that place a little more 'forward' :-).

dogmom

ignorance

and ego....

I think JOurney's right, Joyce. Even if your meeting with someone affects them so that they understand differently, that's still one person different.
I grew up same as Journey and that has given me a lot of perspectives to go on. Still even with that, sometimes people I know put things out there mostly cuz they don't know any better, regarding d/Deaf/hearing

Bebonang

If hearing people are so uptight about our deafness and think we can not make the right decision.

I remembered watching the video from DeafTV about a Deaf couple with one Deaf daughter. The Deaf couple had trouble trying to make his hearing parents understand that the Deaf couple had the right to make decision whether they want their daughter to have CI or not. They had researched about CI and decided they don't want their daughter to have CI. Also they have asked their daughter if she want CI or what. They had explained about the CI to her. She would rather not have CI.

But the hearing parents of the Deaf couple want their granddaughter to get CI. The Deaf couple and the hearing grandparents had a big fight about it. The grandparents thought that the grandparents had the right to make the decision on their granddaughter. The Deaf couple had tried and tried to tell them that the Deaf couple had the right to make the decision, not the hearing grandparents. They are so stubborn not seeing that Deaf parents are capable of making the decision on their own.

That is what bugged me about having us be like little children not making the right decision. We are suppose to be grown up and not retarded. We are not stupid.

I guess that the grandparents think they are better than their own son and daughter-in-law just because they are deaf. No wonder the Deaf mother cried at trying to make them understand that her husband and she can do anything except to hear but the grandparents of the deaf girl don't seem to see the light or not understand at all.

It just made me upset watching that video about it. I have mix feeling about trying to explain to hearing people what I can do and what I can not do but still I am like everyone and it is not fair for them to tell us that we can not do anything at all.

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Badgers00

Bebonang, it seemed to me that the grandparents in the video were not willing to learn sign language nor willing to learn about deaf culture. I am a hearing person and am learning sign language, deaf culture, etc. I don't think I am better than deaf people. I have great respect for deaf people and their culture. Some hearing people could be ignorant.

melindajanet

I'm hearing and I don't think I'm better than any one, regardless of hearing status, class, religious affiliation, gender, race etc. I think it's unfair to overgeneralize that way and say "all hearing people feel this way". No group of people, whether majority or minority hold all of the same beliefs. I think that a lot hearing people simply don't understand deafness, and when are confronted with it make up random assumptions to fill in the blanks to which they have no answers. I myself will never know the world from my boyfriend's perspective, who is deaf and grew up with hearing parents in a hearing world. Just as he'll never know the world from my perspective, just as someone who is Deaf raised by Deaf parents will never know the world from my boyfriend's perspective, or mine, and so on. We all have different upbringings and see the world through different paradigms.

People who are ignorant, that is people who haven't been presented with the proper tools or learning experiences yet often go about making assumptions, I think that is what it boils down to, a lack of experience with something/a kind of person. I'm really open to all kinds of people with all sorts of backgrounds, and I really don't believe any person is better than another. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to have been raised by open minded people who taught me to think for myself instead of going by what society tells us is right.

KristinaB

Was at a neighbor's house helping her today and she brought up this very subject. I mentioned how we had a thread here about it and she was amazed.

She was fostering a bunch of children over the years and among them were 2-3 deaf children. They still keep in touch with her. All I can say is, this neighbor flat out asked me why most hearing people have no patience or understanding of the deaf or hoh. She actually broke out in tears while asking me this. I told her, there were numerous reasons, but mostly it would be either ignorance of the subject, being raised that the deaf or hoh are "inferior", or just total lack of understanding. She tries to get different people once in a while to go to the Deaf church to help educate them. The members of the church are quite willing to help teach them that we are in fact able bodied and viable human beings no different than them, with the exception that our ears are different and we use a different language.

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Deafguy25

Are you talking about Sound and Fury - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia If so, they eventually do get the daughter the implant, along with their other kids, as well as the mother.