Thank You :)

blaqueinque · 10-28-2010, 04:39 PM

Due to numerous misunderstandings and misinterpretations of several of my written posts, I have decided that it would best for me to learn more about the the deaf community and deaf culture in a face to face setting.

As per my introductory post, as a hearing person, I became a member to this website with the intent of learning more about the deaf community and deaf culture, not to deal with a forum bully and her group of sycophantic followers.

Despite, the strong opinions of others (Jillio, BecLak, Deaf Skeptic, Botts), I honestly feel that hearing people, should treat deaf people as equals in society. I don't view deafness as a handicap or as something that is broken and needs to be fix, I don't view those who are deaf as intellectually inferior to those who are hearing, and I don't treat deaf people differently because I don't view them as different.

To those who have been nothing by friendly, kind and welcoming to me, thank you for allowing me to join this wonderful website. Your experiences and advise have have given me great insight to deaf and HOH communities and for that I will always, always, always be greatful.

May the angels always watch and treat each and everyone of you right

Tousi · 10-28-2010, 04:42 PM

Well, I hope this doesn't mean your'e leaving.....

green427 · 10-28-2010, 05:21 PM

Yes, it means she is leaving.

Too bad, since she appears to be a caring, intelligent individual.

Unfortunately she jumped the gun by thinking that we are "equals" to the hearing world, and has no idea what it is really like to be deaf in the hearing world.

No one can learn about our culture in such a short period of time.

Let her go and experience it. Face to face is better anyway.

Come back when you feel you are ready. We will still be here.

Bebonang · 10-28-2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by green427

Yes, it means she is leaving.

Too bad, since she appears to be a caring, intelligent individual.

Unfortunately she jumped the gun by thinking that we are "equals" to the hearing world, and has no idea what it is really like to be deaf in the hearing world.

No one can learn about our culture in such a short period of time.

Let her go and experience it. Face to face is better anyway.

Come back when you feel you are ready. We will still be here.

I do hope she can come back.

If she is not leaving, then I am glad that she stay here and still discuss or debate with us but learn about us going through experiences of being deaf or hard of hearing which we had and still have struggle with the hearing world.

So please come back, blaqueinque.

**KristinaB** · 10-28-2010, 06:17 PM

I too think she should stay. She can learn so much from each and everyone of us. There have been times when I wanted to give up on AD, but all in all, I am glad I did not. This place has been a valuable tool for me. I have learned so much and still do.

**deafskeptic** · 10-28-2010, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KristinaB

I too think she should stay. She can learn so much from each and everyone of us. There have been times when I wanted to give up on AD, but all in all, I am glad I did not. This place has been a valuable tool for me. I have learned so much and still do.

I think so too.

**Smithtr** · 10-28-2010, 08:41 PM

I Believe you are right!

**shel90** · 10-28-2010, 08:44 PM

Yea, it takes time to learn about Deaf culture and values. It took me time even though I was born deaf myself! I would say about 5 years to really "get" it.

Hope you dont leave.

BecLak · 10-28-2010, 08:56 PM

It is a bit of a wake-up call at first for newbies. Do stay. :-)

**Bottesini** · 10-28-2010, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blaqueinque

Due to numerous misunderstandings and misinterpretations of several of my written posts, I have decided that it would best for me to learn more about the the deaf community and deaf culture in a face to face setting.

As per my introductory post, as a hearing person, I became a member to this website with the intent of learning more about the deaf community and deaf culture, not to deal with a forum bully and her group of sycophantic followers.

Despite, the strong opinions of others (Jillio, BecLak, Deaf Skeptic, Botts), I honestly feel that hearing people, should treat deaf people as equals in society. I don't view deafness as a handicap or as something that is broken and needs to be fix, I don't view those who are deaf as intellectually inferior to those who are hearing, and I don't treat deaf people differently because I don't view them as different.

To those who have been nothing by friendly, kind and welcoming to me, thank you for allowing me to join this wonderful website. Your experiences and advise have have given me great insight to deaf and HOH communities and for that I will always, always, always be greatful.

May the angels always watch and treat each and everyone of you right

I thought we were actually supposed to ignore these, "I am leaving AD" posts.

I don't know what astounds me most in this post, that she thinks I am a fawning syncophant of Jillio, or that she thinks that as a deaf person (in the second bolded sentence) I would think that deaf people shouldn't be treated as equals.

**Smithtr** · 10-28-2010, 09:19 PM

NO idea I don't know what she leaving now No idea, learn forum, my opinion! that is why hard to how figure out!?

Tousi · 10-28-2010, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

I thought we were actually supposed to ignore these, "I am leaving AD" posts.

I don't know what astounds me most in this post, that she thinks I am a fawning syncophant of Jillio, or that she thinks that as a deaf person (in the second bolded sentence) I would think that deaf people shouldn't be treated as equals.

All that in a world's record of what, 48 hours?

**deafskeptic** · 10-28-2010, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

I thought we were actually supposed to ignore these, "I am leaving AD" posts.

I don't know what astounds me most in this post, that she thinks I am a fawning syncophant of Jillio, or that she thinks that as a deaf person (in the second bolded sentence) I would think that deaf people shouldn't be treated as equals.

You're no sycophant of jillio.

Frisky Feline · 10-29-2010, 04:55 AM

come back when you are ready.

jillio · 10-29-2010, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by green427

Yes, it means she is leaving.

Too bad, since she appears to be a caring, intelligent individual.

Unfortunately she jumped the gun by thinking that we are "equals" to the hearing world, and has no idea what it is really like to be deaf in the hearing world.

No one can learn about our culture in such a short period of time.

Let her go and experience it. Face to face is better anyway.

Come back when you feel you are ready. We will still be here.

Very well said. I will add a +1 to that. Face to face is really the best way to learn about any culture. I feel that she was sincere, but came into the forum assuming she knew a whole lot more about the deaf than she actually knew, and then became sensitive when she was corrected. Maybe face to face contact will overcome some of that.

jillio · 10-29-2010, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Yea, it takes time to learn about Deaf culture and values. It took me time even though I was born deaf myself! I would say about 5 years to really "get" it.

Hope you dont leave.

Five years of heavily involvement, to say the least.

jillio · 10-29-2010, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

I thought we were actually supposed to ignore these, "I am leaving AD" posts.

I don't know what astounds me most in this post, that she thinks I am a fawning syncophant of Jillio, or that she thinks that as a deaf person (in the second bolded sentence) I would think that deaf people shouldn't be treated as equals.

Looks like she misunderstood more than one thing! My intent was to show her errors in her thinking so that she would have a better understanding of the deaf and the culture. Evidently, she misuderstood that, too.

But, in reality, I have to question how anyone who gets so offended by being corrected could have enough empathy or put themselves aside long enough to actually be taught about another culture. That type of person is usually too intent on telling others what they should believe.

BecLak · 10-29-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Looks like she misunderstood more than one thing! My intent was to show her errors in her thinking so that she would have a better understanding of the deaf and the culture. Evidently, she misuderstood that, too.

But, in reality, I have to question how anyone who gets so offended by being corrected could have enough empathy or put themselves aside long enough to actually be taught about another culture. That type of person is usually too intent on telling others what they should believe.

I agree with you Jillio. From my own experience in a cross-cultural setting, being an Australian living in Thailand, you have made a very valid point.

jillio · 10-29-2010, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BecLak

I agree with you Jillio. From my own experience in a cross-cultural setting, being an Australian living in Thailand, you have made a very valid point.

It has long been the assumption of sociologists and anthropologists that "observer / participant" is the best way to study culture and language. From my personal experience, as well...that is true.

**Beowulf** · 10-29-2010, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

It has long been the assumption of sociologists and anthropologists that "observer / participant" is the best way to study culture and language. From my personal experience, as well...that is true.

This reminds me of the time my hearing sister teased me about understanding the deaf. At no avail I told her that she has to be deaf in order to understand deaf culture, and she waved it off with the comment, "If you want to understand the culture of monkeys, do you ask a monkey or an anthropologist?" I was speechless, but it made me think.

jillio · 10-29-2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beowulf

This reminds me of the time my hearing sister teased me about understanding the deaf. At no avail I told her that she has to be deaf in order to understand deaf culture, and she waved it off with the comment, "If you want to understand the culture of monkeys, do you ask a monkey or an anthropologist?" I was speechless, but it made me think.

That's a good one!

But wait...was she comparing deaf people to monkeys? (j/k)

**Smithtr** · 10-29-2010, 01:59 PM

She is maybe afraid, make doesn't understand sense that is why! she is very leaving quicky maybe I guess she is shy or no idea point!

**Bottesini** · 10-29-2010, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smithtr

She is maybe afraid, make doesn't understand sense that is why! she is very leaving quicky maybe I guess she is shy or no idea point!

I think you are partly right about afraid, but I don't think she is shy. I think she isn't used to being told she is wrong.

And being told by a lot of people at one time that she is wrong. And refusing to back down when she started acting childish.

**Smithtr** · 10-29-2010, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

I think you are partly right about afraid, but I don't think she is shy. I think she isn't used to being told she is wrong.

And being told by a lot of people at one time that she is wrong. And refusing to back down when she started acting childish.

I understand clear!, oh i see really she is seems acting childish! that is why reason, she awkward to how feeling fear! don't be scared! because learn encourage to her, she is seems not there on show up! selfish! that is why!! reason! wise people help her, tough!

chipmunkis · 10-29-2010, 09:02 PM

I think it's a shame if any hearing people who want to understand/ learn more about Deaf culture leave because someone tells them they are wrong. I know that the ONLY way I can truly understand is to be corrected when I make a mistake...and if that "correction" looks like a slap upside the head, then so be it.

If hearing people, like myself and like blaqueinque, really want to understand then we have to be prepared to be told off if we say something insensitive, and to be corrected if we misunderstand or mess up. We can't understand unless we let go of the defensiveness. The people who know Deafness best are the people who LIVE it, right?

**Smithtr** · 10-29-2010, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunkis

I think it's a shame if any hearing people who want to understand/ learn more about Deaf culture leave because someone tells them they are wrong. I know that the ONLY way I can truly understand is to be corrected when I make a mistake...and if that "correction" looks like a slap upside the head, then so be it.

If hearing people, like myself and like blaqueinque, really want to understand then we have to be prepared to be told off if we say something insensitive, and to be corrected if we misunderstand or mess up. We can't understand unless we let go of the defensiveness. The people who know Deafness best are the people who LIVE it, right?

wow that is surprised! I can't images what are you said! I think so pretty not her is very really problem!! shame or afraid! she is leaving no idea!

**Bottesini** · 10-29-2010, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunkis

I think it's a shame if any hearing people who want to understand/ learn more about Deaf culture leave because someone tells them they are wrong. I know that the ONLY way I can truly understand is to be corrected when I make a mistake...and if that "correction" looks like a slap upside the head, then so be it.

If hearing people, like myself and like blaqueinque, really want to understand then we have to be prepared to be told off if we say something insensitive, and to be corrected if we misunderstand or mess up. We can't understand unless we let go of the defensiveness. The people who know Deafness best are the people who LIVE it, right?

Agreed. And the people who really want to understand and join in don't run away at the first salvo!

**Smithtr** · 10-29-2010, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

Agreed. And the people who really want to understand and join in don't run away at the first salvo!

That is true!! I totally agree you!

SimonJ · 10-29-2010, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

Agreed. And the people who really want to understand and join in don't run away at the first salvo!

Depends on their state of mind, depression is an awful thing, I don't know in this case but don't judge too harshly.

BecLak · 10-29-2010, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chipmunkis

I think it's a shame if any hearing people who want to understand/ learn more about Deaf culture leave because someone tells them they are wrong. I know that the ONLY way I can truly understand is to be corrected when I make a mistake...and if that "correction" looks like a slap upside the head, then so be it.

If hearing people, like myself and like blaqueinque, really want to understand then we have to be prepared to be told off if we say something insensitive, and to be corrected if we misunderstand or mess up. We can't understand unless we let go of the defensiveness. The people who know Deafness best are the people who LIVE it, right?

Well said. Totally agree.

10-28-2010, 04:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
blaqueinque Registered User Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Everywhere and nowhere Posts: 86	Thank You :) Due to numerous misunderstandings and misinterpretations of several of my written posts, I have decided that it would best for me to learn more about the the deaf community and deaf culture in a face to face setting. As per my introductory post, as a hearing person, I became a member to this website with the intent of learning more about the deaf community and deaf culture, not to deal with a forum bully and her group of sycophantic followers. Despite, the strong opinions of others (Jillio, BecLak, Deaf Skeptic, Botts), I honestly feel that hearing people, should treat deaf people as equals in society. I don't view deafness as a handicap or as something that is broken and needs to be fix, I don't view those who are deaf as intellectually inferior to those who are hearing, and I don't treat deaf people differently because I don't view them as different. To those who have been nothing by friendly, kind and welcoming to me, thank you for allowing me to join this wonderful website. Your experiences and advise have have given me great insight to deaf and HOH communities and for that I will always, always, always be greatful. May the angels always watch and treat each and everyone of you right __________________ a successful leader is one who builds a strong solid foundation with the bricks that others throw at them...

10-28-2010, 08:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,682	I Believe you are right! __________________

10-28-2010, 08:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
shel90 Let It Snow!!!! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A place where crabs are popular Posts: 40,305 Blog Entries: 3	Yea, it takes time to learn about Deaf culture and values. It took me time even though I was born deaf myself! I would say about 5 years to really "get" it. Hope you dont leave. __________________ "Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it." --- Anonymous

10-28-2010, 08:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
BecLak Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 2,116	It is a bit of a wake-up call at first for newbies. Do stay. :-) __________________ Severely deaf from birth. Deaf with a Purpose. God designed me this way so I do everything by God's Grace. Exodus 4:11 Ignorance is no longer bliss. Be Educated. KEEP IN STEP WITH ME: Sign Text Email Pen and Paper

10-28-2010, 09:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,682	NO idea I don't know what she leaving now No idea, learn forum, my opinion! that is why hard to how figure out!? __________________

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10-28-2010, 04:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tousi Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,733	Well, I hope this doesn't mean your'e leaving.....

10-28-2010, 05:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
green427 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Cooch's Bridge Battlefield Posts: 1,630	Yes, it means she is leaving. Too bad, since she appears to be a caring, intelligent individual. Unfortunately she jumped the gun by thinking that we are "equals" to the hearing world, and has no idea what it is really like to be deaf in the hearing world. No one can learn about our culture in such a short period of time. Let her go and experience it. Face to face is better anyway. Come back when you feel you are ready. We will still be here.

10-28-2010, 06:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
KristinaB New SDIT Deacon Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Land of the backstroke Posts: 13,778	I too think she should stay. She can learn so much from each and everyone of us. There have been times when I wanted to give up on AD, but all in all, I am glad I did not. This place has been a valuable tool for me. I have learned so much and still do.

10-29-2010, 04:55 AM	#14 (permalink)
Frisky Feline Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 20,242	come back when you are ready.

10-29-2010, 01:59 PM	#22 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,682	She is maybe afraid, make doesn't understand sense that is why! she is very leaving quicky maybe I guess she is shy or no idea point! __________________

10-29-2010, 09:02 PM	#25 (permalink)
chipmunkis Registered User Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: BC Posts: 136	I think it's a shame if any hearing people who want to understand/ learn more about Deaf culture leave because someone tells them they are wrong. I know that the ONLY way I can truly understand is to be corrected when I make a mistake...and if that "correction" looks like a slap upside the head, then so be it. If hearing people, like myself and like blaqueinque, really want to understand then we have to be prepared to be told off if we say something insensitive, and to be corrected if we misunderstand or mess up. We can't understand unless we let go of the defensiveness. The people who know Deafness best are the people who LIVE it, right?

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