Adjustment to late onset deafness - Page 4

jillio · 04-14-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafskeptic

I feel bad but I tell myself that in this family I'm always going to be the black sheep no matter what. So I do what i have to do. Oh I forgot the mention that I have ADD as well. To give you an idea of how obsessed my dad is with order, he has driven 25 miles just to throw out my trash several times from my apt because it bothers him that I don't always empty it when I should.

There you go! If you are going to be the Black Sheep, then by golly, be the best danged Black Sheep you can be!

November Gypsy · 04-14-2009, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

It could be Bi-Polar, but then again, with her being a child of an alcoholic, it could also be a Personality Disorder. Whatever it is, you don't have to let it have a negative impact on you and your family. Not to sound cold or lacking in empathy, but those are her issues to deal with. You cannot do it for her, nor should you be expected to endure those things that disrupt your life.

I never, for even a minute, considered that you did not love your mother and appreciate her good qualities. If you did not love her, you would simply separate yourself from her, and not be concerned with improving the relationship. You are obviously very concerned with keeping contact, but in a way that doesn't have a negative impact on you or your family. That tells me that you, do, indeed love her.

Thanks. That eases me a little on the point. Ah well. I'm going to try to stop thinking about her for a while. Beside, it's not what this threads about.

DylanTheDEAFKid · 04-15-2009, 03:31 PM

I just had a thought. Have any of you who are late deafened ever had acceptance problems from the deaf community?

derekdg · 04-15-2009, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

It seems that we have several members that are currently going through adjustments to late onset deafness. I suggested a support type group through AD, and offered to facillitate. I received word from a mod that we could go ahead and start a thread on this topic. So...here it is.

How about if we start off by having participants offer a brief introduction of themselves, and the issue they are currently struggling with?

Oh, and mods...could you sticky this please?

without putting to fine a point on it....why excactly do we need the mODS

**Bottesini** · 04-15-2009, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by derekdg

without putting to fine a point on it....why excactly do we need the mODS

Bottesini is the answer to your question.

derekdg · 04-15-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

I agree..

Jillio...

If you do not mind,

I would like to add that this thread is specifically to help people with latent deafness or sudden deafness.

This thread is to help the ones in need.

man that is what a mod job is then

I

derekdg · 04-15-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

Bottesini is the answer to your question.

Are you the same "GRAATE BOTSINNI..ZE MAGNIFFICO...ER....ZE...ERM...WONDEROUS....any chance 0f a Tracy Chapman job outa here

jillio · 04-15-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by derekdg

without putting to fine a point on it....why excactly do we need the mODS

To sticky the thread and to give permission for me to begin such a forum.

November Gypsy · 04-16-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DylanTheDEAFKid

I just had a thought. Have any of you who are late deafened ever had acceptance problems from the deaf community?

I have a feeling that's a touchy subject. I have been, occasionally, given cool looks by one particular Deaf person I know. It seems that he feels that I am not in the same class as he is, because he was born Deaf and I am late deafened. Never mind that I will probably be completely deaf by the end of year. That being said, most people I know (including the most of the people on this site) are very accepting and understand that we have the same disability, even if it is slightly altered person to person.

**deafskeptic** · 04-17-2009, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by November Gypsy

I have a feeling that's a touchy subject. I have been, occasionally, given cool looks by one particular Deaf person I know. It seems that he feels that I am not in the same class as he is, because he was born Deaf and I am late deafened. Never mind that I will probably be completely deaf by the end of year. That being said, most people I know (including the most of the people on this site) are very accepting and understand that we have the same disability, even if it is slightly altered person to person.

Yes, it can be a touchy subject. I'll do my best to explain why some may feel this way. Many born deaf and early deafned people have to go through speech therapy. Some never learn to speak despite hours of speech therapy. Then if they're enrolled in an oral program or mainstream programs, often they have no support services so it's a struggle to keep up with classes. I remember (I was born deaf) having to read everything in sight to make up for what I missed in class. Many struggle with language delays. I have a slight language delay. My occasional grammical mistakes are much more typical of deaf than hearing. Also around fourth or fifth grade, many run into problems with peers who won't accept them anymore.

Many late deafened have a hard time understanding this because they've never had to experience this. Sometimes this will cause misunderstandings. I remember one late deafened (whose name I won't mention here) who had a difficult time with this. She no longer posts here. Still others might think speech is the only way to go so they'll have problems with deaf who don't speak.

That said, I would imagine that it'd be devasting for late deafened to lose hearing and suddenly they have a hard time understanding friends and family. I've never known what's it like to be hearing and becoming deafened later in life.

Late deafened and born deaf or early deafened do share a number of issues like not being able to communicate with the family or hearing friends. Both need supportive services and the ADA. Once hearing find out you can't speak on the phone, odds are good they will think twice about hiring you. I could say more but I'll stop here.

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 08:19 AM

Yes, I see what you mean. But, you know, I was born hearing, but I still had a language delay. In fact, I still stutter, and have all my life. So, in that sense, I do understand what it is not to be able to communicate verbally as well as I want to...but you are right, I see the difference. I could hear what was being said, I just couldn't respond well. Still, it is fustrating, I think, for late deafened people who are simply lonely and hoping for support from others with the same issue to be given a cold shoulder because of what someone else did. Like I said earlier, most people in the Deaf community are very kind, and so I'm not complaining, and having dealt with other disabilities all my life I do understand what it is to be treated as though I am worth less because I have some extra challenges. I think the people that overcome that and choose to be kind anyway are the strongest people. It shows strength of character to not lash out at the whole human race for what one part of it did to you. I've found so many people like that in the few months since I've braved up enough to try to be apart of the Community. I've been blessed.

**Lissa** · 04-18-2009, 08:21 AM

i admire you all, it must be hard coping with late onset deafness because your hearing for a while then bam you become deaf. Hope everybody's doing alright.

**deafskeptic** · 04-18-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by November Gypsy

Yes, I see what you mean. But, you know, I was born hearing, but I still had a language delay. In fact, I still stutter, and have all my life. So, in that sense, I do understand what it is not to be able to communicate verbally as well as I want to...but you are right, I see the difference. I could hear what was being said, I just couldn't respond well. Still, it is fustrating, I think, for late deafened people who are simply lonely and hoping for support from others with the same issue to be given a cold shoulder because of what someone else did. Like I said earlier, most people in the Deaf community are very kind, and so I'm not complaining, and having dealt with other disabilities all my life I do understand what it is to be treated as though I am worth less because I have some extra challenges. I think the people that overcome that and choose to be kind anyway are the strongest people. It shows strength of character to not lash out at the whole human race for what one part of it did to you. I've found so many people like that in the few months since I've braved up enough to try to be apart of the Community. I've been blessed.

Do you have a problem with grammar? Just asking. That's the kind of language delay I was referring to. My dad is like you in that he has a stutter.

I can relate to having communication problems though. And I sure can relate to having ADD like you. I've been known to put my socks in the fridge and my corn bread saald with mayo in a cabinet instead of the fridge.

I guess dealing with other disabilties has helped you with coping with late onset deafness.

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafskeptic

Do you have a problem with grammar? Just asking. That's the kind of language delay I was referring to. My dad is like you in that he has a stutter.

I can relate to having communication problems though. And I sure can relate to having ADD like you. I've been known to put my socks in the fridge and my corn bread saald with mayo in a cabinet instead of the fridge.

I guess dealing with other disabilties has helped you with coping with late onset deafness.

No, I don't think I have a special problem with grammer. Of course, I don't always get it right, but I my 'disability' is not in grammer. I knew what you meant, by the way, and I think it makes perfect sense and is not at all unreasonable that people who are born Deaf or go deaf at a very early age would have trouble with verbal grammer. People who have been hearing all their lives have trouble with it. I was a tad slow as a baby and child, and one of my delays was in language. I have always had a problem with stuttering, with pronouncing words, and with speaking clearly. My therapist says that she thinks I stutter for anxiety reasons rather then for physical reasons now though, and I suppose that's true, since I hardly stutter at all at home but can barely get a sentence out in public or in stressful situations.

I let the kitchen flood the other day because something distracted me from the fact that I had turned the water on and plugged the sink. Oh well. At least my husband is patient with me. I think being ADD gives me an advantage in creative thinking and such though...I don't know about you. And, yes, I definately think that having dealt with other disabilities all my life has helped me adjust faster to the fact that I am severly hoh, with a prognosis of profound deafness on the not too far horizon. I struggled really badly at first, and you all helped me, and I can't say I'm completely adjusted just yet, but I'm pretty close. It's more and more second nature now, instead of a shock. And, you know what? I think I see the blessing in disguise in having been born with disabilities. I am well on my way to being as happy as I ever was, happier because I have a kind and loving husband and a baby who doesn't care if I hear at all, and much faster, then I probably would have been had having a disability been a totally new thing.

I think having some special issues to overcome lends to a persons strength and character, if allowed...and that's what I'm striving for...to let the things that seem to 'hinder' me help me to become a better, happier person.

I'm glad to know that you have ADD! You seem to be pretty well adjusted! Is your dad's stuttering something he was born with?

Babyblue · 04-18-2009, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by derekdg

man that is what a mod job is then

I

So the Mods are the only ones that can help a person with Latent deafness.

It is not particularly, a mods job.

If we all work together and just contribute to help the latent deafies. Then the Mods, would not have to intervene.

Isn't that what this topic is about??

Babyblue · 04-18-2009, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DylanTheDEAFKid

I just had a thought. Have any of you who are late deafened ever had acceptance problems from the deaf community?

I have been HOH all my life. raised orally. I have had some issues with some from the deaf community.

But like some hearing people, deaf people or anyone in general. Someone always has an issue.

Gotta learn to weed out the good from the bad.

**deafskeptic** · 04-18-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by November Gypsy

I let the kitchen flood the other day because something distracted me from the fact that I had turned the water on and plugged the sink. Oh well. At least my husband is patient with me. I think being ADD gives me an advantage in creative thinking and such though...I don't know about you. And, yes, I definately think that having dealt with other disabilities all my life has helped me adjust faster to the fact that I am severly hoh, with a prognosis of profound deafness on the not too far horizon. I struggled really badly at first, and you all helped me, and I can't say I'm completely adjusted just yet, but I'm pretty close. It's more and more second nature now, instead of a shock. And, you know what? I think I see the blessing in disguise in having been born with disabilities. I am well on my way to being as happy as I ever was, happier because I have a kind and loving husband and a baby who doesn't care if I hear at all, and much faster, then I probably would have been had having a disability been a totally new thing.

I think having some special issues to overcome lends to a persons strength and character, if allowed...and that's what I'm striving for...to let the things that seem to 'hinder' me help me to become a better, happier person.

I'm glad to know that you have ADD! You seem to be pretty well adjusted! Is your dad's stuttering something he was born with?

LOL! I've done the same thing tomy kitchen. This morning I left the hot water running in my kitchen and then wondered why my bath water was cold. >.< Fortuantly, sink wasn't plugged.

My ADD drives my parents crazy but most people are fine with it if they aren't ocd about my house keeping. It sucks. When I see my parents I wish there was a cure for ADD but i'm otherwise fine with it. They can't see why I can't just be organzied like them. It's quite possible my Dad was born with a stutter or developed it early in life. Both of my parents are unhappy with me because of my organizal problems.

I know some hearing have problems with grammar and speech. I remember one hearing guy who had to take speech class in 4th grade. There are a variety of reasons why they have problems with speech and grammar . I notice that a lot of hearing are harsh on those with reading and grammar problems. I think it's just rude to be nit picky about grammar toward both hearing and deaf.

I'm glad that dealing with other disablites has helped you cope with deafness. BTW, I don't actually view my deafness as a disablity. I see other's attiudes toward my deafness as a handicap though.

Babyblue · 04-18-2009, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by November Gypsy

I let the kitchen flood the other day because something distracted me from the fact that I had turned the water on and plugged the sink. Oh well. At least my husband is patient with me. I think being ADD gives me an advantage in creative thinking and such though...I don't know about you. And, yes, I definately think that having dealt with other disabilities all my life has helped me adjust faster to the fact that I am severly hoh, with a prognosis of profound deafness on the not too far horizon. I struggled really badly at first, and you all helped me, and I can't say I'm completely adjusted just yet, but I'm pretty close. It's more and more second nature now, instead of a shock. And, you know what? I think I see the blessing in disguise in having been born with disabilities. I am well on my way to being as happy as I ever was, happier because I have a kind and loving husband and a baby who doesn't care if I hear at all, and much faster, then I probably would have been had having a disability been a totally new thing.

I think having some special issues to overcome lends to a persons strength and character, if allowed...and that's what I'm striving for...to let the things that seem to 'hinder' me help me to become a better, happier person.

I'm glad to know that you have ADD! You seem to be pretty well adjusted! Is your dad's stuttering something he was born with?

Do you even know how many deaf people leave the water running???
Thinking we turned it off all the way. Not turning back due to we can not hear the water running....

I am almost positive that I am not the only one. Due to other post in this thread I have seen in the past.

Did you do this before you lost your hearing? Or did this started after you hearing loss?

**Lissa** · 04-18-2009, 09:08 PM

Hey hope you dont minding me butting in but i just want to say that the day of my CI activation I left the tap running in the audi waiting room and that was the first time I ever done it LOL

**deafskeptic** · 04-18-2009, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

Do you even know how many deaf people leave the water running???
Thinking we turned it off all the way. Not turning back due to we can not hear the water running....

I am almost positive that I am not the only one. Due to other post in this thread I have seen in the past.

Did you do this before you lost your hearing? Or did this started after you hearing loss?

Yeah. It's also quite common for people with ADD to leave the water running.

Babyblue · 04-18-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafskeptic

Yeah. It's also quite common for people with ADD to leave the water running.

It is also quite common for deaf people to do so.

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafskeptic

LOL! I've done the same thing tomy kitchen. This morning I left the hot water running in my kitchen and then wondered why my bath water was cold. >.< Fortuantly, sink wasn't plugged.

My ADD drives my parents crazy but most people are fine with it if they aren't ocd about my house keeping. It sucks. When I see my parents I wish there was a cure for ADD but i'm otherwise fine with it. They can't see why I can't just be organzied like them. It's quite possible my Dad was born with a stutter or developed it early in life. Both of my parents are unhappy with me because of my organizal problems.

I know some hearing have problems with grammar and speech. I remember one hearing guy who had to take speech class in 4th grade. There are a variety of reasons why they have problems with speech and grammar . I notice that a lot of hearing are harsh on those with reading and grammar problems. I think it's just rude to be nit picky about grammar toward both hearing and deaf.

I'm glad that dealing with other disablites has helped you cope with deafness. BTW, I don't actually view my deafness as a disablity. I see other's attiudes toward my deafness as a handicap though.

*Big, big hugs to Skeptic* I'm sorry sweetie. I can sympathize. My parents decided early in life that I was just not trying, and that I was hyper because I was trying to be a problem. My dad, I think, would have been kinder, but he always defers to my mother, so no soap. My mother told me that the only reason I didn't walk until I was two was because I 'just didn't want to'. Right. Ok ma. Anyway, I know what you mean. My parents always make me wish I was hundred percent difference, but you know what? When it's just me and my husband and baby and or me and some of my close friends, I feel excepted and loved. They make affectionate jokes of my ADD and help me with things like driving, which I don't do well because I can't remember left from right. It helps me remember that it's ok to be different. I don't always feel this positive about it...but I'm pretty happy tonight.

As far as saying 'disability' when referring to deafness/hoh, I really didn't mean it as a negative thing...just trying to explain how the things I was born with afffected my coping skills with being hoh, if you see what I mean. I hope I didn't offend, I really didn't mean to.

I think the grammer issue happens because people take it as a sign of intellgence. If you speak well, your mind must be good is the thinking. I don't agree with it of course. I don't have a bad mind but I sound very needy when I get nervous. It's like a lot of other things...people assume things they don't know because it's easier then taking the time to find out. Though, I will say that I think alot of people mean better then they seem to mean. It's ignorance I guess, and fear of what is different then themselves.

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

Do you even know how many deaf people leave the water running???
Thinking we turned it off all the way. Not turning back due to we can not hear the water running....

I am almost positive that I am not the only one. Due to other post in this thread I have seen in the past.

Did you do this before you lost your hearing? Or did this started after you hearing loss?

My leaving the water on happened wayyyyy before I ever went deaf. My brain just doesn't work in a logical way sometimes. I do all kinds of silly things...but it keeps people who love me amused, at any rate. I also put the coffee grounds where the water is supposed to go in the coffee machine lately. It's amazing to think that I actually lived by myself for a year before I married my husband, isn't it?

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deafteen90

Hey hope you dont minding me butting in but i just want to say that the day of my CI activation I left the tap running in the audi waiting room and that was the first time I ever done it LOL

Of course you aren't butting in.

That sounds like something I'd do.

**Lissa** · 04-18-2009, 09:27 PM

The toilet's actually flooded and my parents heard something so they went to check and left tap on. this was 5 mins before i got activated and im always leaving tap on even now lol

**deafskeptic** · 04-18-2009, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

It is also quite common for deaf people to do so.

Yes, I know.

I've heard tons of horror stories about deaf leaving water on. I remember hearing about one deaf guy causing like 20k damage.

**deafskeptic** · 04-18-2009, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by November Gypsy

*Big, big hugs to Skeptic* I'm sorry sweetie. I can sympathize. My parents decided early in life that I was just not trying, and that I was hyper because I was trying to be a problem. My dad, I think, would have been kinder, but he always defers to my mother, so no soap. My mother told me that the only reason I didn't walk until I was two was because I 'just didn't want to'. Right. Ok ma. Anyway, I know what you mean. My parents always make me wish I was hundred percent difference, but you know what? When it's just me and my husband and baby and or me and some of my close friends, I feel excepted and loved. They make affectionate jokes of my ADD and help me with things like driving, which I don't do well because I can't remember left from right. It helps me remember that it's ok to be different. I don't always feel this positive about it...but I'm pretty happy tonight.

As far as saying 'disability' when referring to deafness/hoh, I really didn't mean it as a negative thing...just trying to explain how the things I was born with afffected my coping skills with being hoh, if you see what I mean. I hope I didn't offend, I really didn't mean to.

I think the grammer issue happens because people take it as a sign of intellgence. If you speak well, your mind must be good is the thinking. I don't agree with it of course. I don't have a bad mind but I sound very needy when I get nervous. It's like a lot of other things...people assume things they don't know because it's easier then taking the time to find out. Though, I will say that I think alot of people mean better then they seem to mean. It's ignorance I guess, and fear of what is different then themselves.

Oh I wasn't offended.

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 09:42 PM

Oh good. Grin. Good job Deafteen. My husband just quietly walked into the room, took my hand, walked me into the kitchen and pointed...not that he needed too...I was standing in shallow water (he'd been at work). Luckily, there wasn't too much damage, just a bit of water staining on the cupboards.

**Lissa** · 04-18-2009, 09:43 PM

LOL. At least your floors get a clean!

November Gypsy · 04-18-2009, 09:47 PM

Sigh. Yeah. I hate mopping. It's amazing what having a child will do with the ADD brain though...because as much as I mess up, I've never done anything to hurt my baby or put her in harms way. somhow, my brain is always a little clearer when it comes to her.

04-18-2009, 08:19 AM	#101 (permalink)
November Gypsy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Southern, USA Posts: 421 Blog Entries: 2	Yes, I see what you mean. But, you know, I was born hearing, but I still had a language delay. In fact, I still stutter, and have all my life. So, in that sense, I do understand what it is not to be able to communicate verbally as well as I want to...but you are right, I see the difference. I could hear what was being said, I just couldn't respond well. Still, it is fustrating, I think, for late deafened people who are simply lonely and hoping for support from others with the same issue to be given a cold shoulder because of what someone else did. Like I said earlier, most people in the Deaf community are very kind, and so I'm not complaining, and having dealt with other disabilities all my life I do understand what it is to be treated as though I am worth less because I have some extra challenges. I think the people that overcome that and choose to be kind anyway are the strongest people. It shows strength of character to not lash out at the whole human race for what one part of it did to you. I've found so many people like that in the few months since I've braved up enough to try to be apart of the Community. I've been blessed. __________________ Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

04-18-2009, 08:21 AM	#102 (permalink)
Lissa Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,296 Blog Entries: 1	i admire you all, it must be hard coping with late onset deafness because your hearing for a while then bam you become deaf. Hope everybody's doing alright. __________________ lissa, 23, profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. http://bioniclissa.blogspot.co.uk/

04-18-2009, 09:08 PM	#109 (permalink)
Lissa Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,296 Blog Entries: 1	Hey hope you dont minding me butting in but i just want to say that the day of my CI activation I left the tap running in the audi waiting room and that was the first time I ever done it LOL __________________ lissa, 23, profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. http://bioniclissa.blogspot.co.uk/

04-18-2009, 09:27 PM	#115 (permalink)
Lissa Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,296 Blog Entries: 1	The toilet's actually flooded and my parents heard something so they went to check and left tap on. this was 5 mins before i got activated and im always leaving tap on even now lol __________________ lissa, 23, profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. http://bioniclissa.blogspot.co.uk/

04-18-2009, 09:42 PM	#118 (permalink)
November Gypsy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Southern, USA Posts: 421 Blog Entries: 2	Oh good. Grin. Good job Deafteen. My husband just quietly walked into the room, took my hand, walked me into the kitchen and pointed...not that he needed too...I was standing in shallow water (he'd been at work). Luckily, there wasn't too much damage, just a bit of water staining on the cupboards. __________________ Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

04-15-2009, 03:31 PM	#93 (permalink)
DylanTheDEAFKid Registered User Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Phoenix Posts: 17 Blog Entries: 2	I just had a thought. Have any of you who are late deafened ever had acceptance problems from the deaf community?

04-18-2009, 09:43 PM	#119 (permalink)
Lissa Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,296 Blog Entries: 1	LOL. At least your floors get a clean! __________________ lissa, 23, profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. http://bioniclissa.blogspot.co.uk/

04-18-2009, 09:47 PM	#120 (permalink)
November Gypsy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Southern, USA Posts: 421 Blog Entries: 2	Sigh. Yeah. I hate mopping. It's amazing what having a child will do with the ADD brain though...because as much as I mess up, I've never done anything to hurt my baby or put her in harms way. somhow, my brain is always a little clearer when it comes to her. __________________ Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode