Adjustment to late onset deafness - Page 24

**KristinaB** · 03-01-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babette

I wish there were some way my kids could hear what I hear. Then they'd understand why I need them to enunciate and face me. They're boys, 11 and 13, and are at that age where they walk out of the room still talking, or keep facing the computer/TV while they speak.

I go through this with my kids (14 & 15). I had been losing my hearing since birth, but lost it all 3 years ago. I sat both kids down and had a heart to heart with them and explained what I needed them to do. For the most part, they listened. They do slip up as most teens will do, but they have been very good about it and they are home all day as I homeschool. We still have regular heart to heart talks just so they know how things are for me and if I need them to do other things. It also give them time to talk with me about anything.

Babette · 03-01-2010, 09:42 PM

I'll have to give that a try. I know they want to help and to be understood, they just forget because they don't experience it. I've also been incredibly fortunate to have a best friend who is deaf and is helping me cope with all of this. I feel like such a whiny-butt griping about about my loss (I still have 70% hearing) when he has less than 10%. However, we both know mine is going to get worse and he's teaching me ways to adapt. I was pretty stressed about it at first, but now I'm starting to see that even a total loss of hearing wouldn't be the catastrophe I had believed it to be. He has some problems that keep him from going out of the house much (not related to hearing loss) and most of his interactions with people are through internet chat and social networking sites. In person it's not too bad because he reads lips and body language and I can still hear men's voices fairly well.

I did have a big meltdown on him when he was feeling well enough to go out for ice cream. There was a very noisy birthday party in the restaurant and with all the background sound I just couldn't hear him. And since he can't hear the volume of his own voice, he didn't realize how softly he was speaking. I ended up in tears and I think he thought I was going to tell him off, but instead I asked "Is this how it is for you all of the time?"

So far mostly what I have is frustration with what's going on.

But, there is the bonus that he never complains about my snoring. LOL

CJB · 03-02-2010, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babette

I'll have to give that a try. I know they want to help and to be understood, they just forget because they don't experience it. I've also been incredibly fortunate to have a best friend who is deaf and is helping me cope with all of this. I feel like such a whiny-butt griping about about my loss (I still have 70% hearing) when he has less than 10%. However, we both know mine is going to get worse and he's teaching me ways to adapt. I was pretty stressed about it at first, but now I'm starting to see that even a total loss of hearing wouldn't be the catastrophe I had believed it to be. He has some problems that keep him from going out of the house much (not related to hearing loss) and most of his interactions with people are through internet chat and social networking sites. In person it's not too bad because he reads lips and body language and I can still hear men's voices fairly well.

I did have a big meltdown on him when he was feeling well enough to go out for ice cream. There was a very noisy birthday party in the restaurant and with all the background sound I just couldn't hear him. And since he can't hear the volume of his own voice, he didn't realize how softly he was speaking. I ended up in tears and I think he thought I was going to tell him off, but instead I asked "Is this how it is for you all of the time?"

So far mostly what I have is frustration with what's going on.

But, there is the bonus that he never complains about my snoring. LOL

Comparing your hearing to his doesn't help either of you. You're still adjusting. Don't feel guilty. This isn't about "who's deafer." It's about your adjustment process.

On another note, my Internet socialization has definitely increased. And any in-person socializing has been increasingly more and more in my own home, where I can control the sound level (for the most part).

I imagine these are common among deaf/hoh who are just getting into signing and other adaptive ways of communicating.

dogmom · 03-02-2010, 08:35 AM

sally, sorry I am late in answering your question

I respond with a combination of things like - well, for me, it's important to learn about various cultures and languages, and I fairly routinely come across people here who sign and I want to communicate better. For me also as someone who is hoh, whether or not I lose more of it in a physical sense, I focus on actually GAINING something else if I show respect for and desire to learn ASL. There is the possibility that I could make new friends - but beyond that, in a broader sense, there is much more than my metaphorical or physical "little world"; seeing how we can connect is more important than maintaining separation.
and for me as a Jew, I understand about the importance of language/culture/heritage; I can relate to the loss of these things, to oppression.

-ASL, certainly Spanish, Lao, Hmong see to be fairly routine in my area, with the spoken languages being concentrated especially in certain areas, but I just was able to use some Spanish couple days ago in trying to determine closing hour at local mall.

FxAvatar · 03-02-2010, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paddelingbear

I'm 42, my name is Michelena but I go by Mickey. I have just finished my 5th week in ASL & Chemical Dependency. I am working towards my life dream of working with our older generation. I am a psych minor. I was okay waking up completely deaf on New Years Eve. I still look at my non-hearing as a blessing in many ways. But for now I sit and cry more and more. I leave my classes on campus in tears. 5 weeks ago I was supposed to have a note taker because no one would volunteer to assist me.

From the first day of semester I had gone to disability support asking, begging to get help. Finally last week I lost it. I was going by the syllabus and went to lab as was required only to find no one there. Then I said okay I'll go to class. The room was dark & not a soul. I was upset because this affects my grade. I went up to dss (disability support services) and was polite at first then so mad I wanted to punch a few people. I tried explaining that I have this feeling of being lost. The lady I spoke to is an interpreter. She knows I'm deaf. I gave her a report from my adui but was told that's impossible especially since it was not signed. I said okay I'll bring in letter from my doc. Which I did. The whole time she would turn away and speak. I kept saying "I can't hear you, please turn around." so she did. But she would make it so I could not see her lips. At that point I was angry.

I have no idea how loud I am, but knew I was getting louder and louder so she went to get the her boss and he came in with an attitude. I got a bigger one and told him exactly what I think of him and how ignorant he and the staff are.....I knew at that point I hit a nerve. I told this him that he has no right to interfere in my education.
I talked and talked, or actually yelled loud enough you could hear me buildings away. He had the audacity to inform me that I'm faking a hearing loss. That all I need is an FM unit. Now I have a service animal, my Bubba. He is a Staffordshire. Half pit & half American Bull dog. I kept this guy on the defense (psych does help). When I was talking he told me to shut up. I looked at him and said no, you will shut up...listen and not say another word until I give you permission. This man has never had anyone talk to him this way. At that point he stepped forward and my baby Bubs sat up, locked eyes with him and got up sat next to my feet. He is a good boy.
I made sure to tell him that this college takes Federal Funds and He & his staff has made a deaf person sit in a class with hearing (1 hoh in asl) and I sit lost, scared, confused and I will no longer take being treated as a piece of dirt on their shoes. Now I also explained that I will be hiring a lawyer and I will get The Justice Department involved and watch your fat*** sweat.
I have been trying to deal with all these emotions. But for me I have tried in both classes to be friendly, to be part of the groups (each class). Instead people in both my classes have told me they don't want me to be near them.
That is hurt deeply. I'm a person who would & have given food, clothes, paid for places to stay, given computers, help with resumes, etc. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have tried to communicate. I've tried to stay strong. But I finally broke. It has been like these people are taking my soul and tearing it & me apart.

I finally broke when sitting in ASL the cliques (everyone but me) signing. Well one thing I learned from deaf family is the swearing. Where they went wrong is spelling my name, pointing and calling me names I don't like to use. They spell Bubba and point at him and finger spell insults about him. I sat and watched them at that point. Call me what you want but don't her my baby in any fashion. He gives his heart too. Does therapy work...He loves to love people. Anyway Thursday I walked into class and told my teacher that I will not participate in group today. I signed as best I could being in tears. I told her I wanted to be left alone. I'm invisible until they have an assignment then when they run out of their buddies they come over to me and act like they will catch cooties.

I treated all of them the way they treat me. I told signed no to each one as well as don't touch me, I want to be left alone. Don't come to me. I was crawling inside myself and wanted to be left alone. Today when I took my perceptive test and I told the instructor I know I was rude yesterday & I'm not sorry. It was time they get what they give. She looked at me in horror

. Good thing we were signing because I know myself enough to know I will get loud & don't care who hears what. I told her that they got what they give. I also told her they got that for ten minutes I get that five days a week and I'm tired of these children destroying my sense of self-worth. I told her I refuse to be treated like dirt....I'm intelligent, kind, outgoing, etc... I had tried for a 5 weeks to be friends, or at least talk to these people. But they refuse to acknowledge me, including the HOH (born that way). I smiled within when I watched each face shocked, confused, & they read my body language correctly because I scared them.....She wants me to apologize to the class, I said no. I owe no one an apology including you because you have worked with deaf community for more years then I'm old. That also happened on the day they were learning how to get the attention of a deaf person. I told her I will not let anyone touch me in class because I'm not a lab rat. I normally do not act like that. Well haven't since I was a kid. But as a kid I swung at people. I explained that when I'm sitting with my signing dictionary and I do not look up its best & safest to leave me be.
I told her I could care less if she takes points off for my Class room behavior. I'm tired of all of it. I'm a proud woman. I did get an 83 on my perceptive test this morning. I had 3 hours sleep out of 48 hours trying to grieve. My husband grieves with me. He wears ear plugs so he can understand better. I had been so mad that whole week because the people have been learning about deaf culture and how many times hearing treats deaf individuals.
I'm so sorry I write to much. I'm scared, confused, and lost. I have found that people I had thought were nice really aren't. When they come to talk to me, I tell them I have gone deaf. They turn and walk away. That's very hurtful.
I found a group who welcomes all; hearing & hoh as well. Tomorrow my husband is taking me there. I told him I need to learn from others who have gone through trials with hearing/hoh/deaf. I need to be around people who are true to themselves.
I stop on as often as I can. My two classes on campus expect me to hear videos and everyone else. If it wasn't for my husband I would be totally lost.
I must go. Thank you all for being here. I want to pop in much more often. But with so much homework and non understanding Instructors and DSS accusing me of lying is so painful, I spend more time crying then getting home work done. Please wish me luck. Monday my group (Bubba & I) have a presentation on Huffing. I bought each person in chemical dependency a chalk board & chalk because I am going to force them to respond to me by asking them questions on huffing. I was a proud hearing woman, proud hoh woman, and now a prouder deaf woman who needs guidance.
I'll pop in soon. Mickey & Bubba. Until we meet again online Lots of hugs to everyone and thank you for sitting through this mess of emotions. I signed up for ASL because I wanted to work with elderly deaf. Now I had a crash course in the treatment people put others through.

As someone that is having issues hearing the instructor in college and new to the HoH world, I wanted to toss you a tip that I have been using that could be changed a bit to help you out as well. As I still have most of my hearing, when it works, I have started recording my classes on a digital recorder. I know that the school is to provide you with support like note takers and such, but I for one am not a person to rely on strangers as my sole source of help.
I started off the semester with taking the digital tape recorder into class to record what is said so that I can play it back later on headsets with the volume up a bit more to my liking. It helps me refresh what I did get and fill in anything I may have missed since my hearing can randomly drop out when it wants too and I am stuck hearing a solid tone while everyone else is chatting away. Even when I can hear, I still have issues with some voices. If I cannot understand something on the recorder, I have a hearing roommate that has helped me out. This role, your hearing husband could do for you. If you find that you cannot get a note taker, then you can fall back on the recording (and I would record it anyways so he can double-checking the notes anyways).
Just don’t let them force you to use the recorder all the time, after all, they get funding to support your needs, your husband does not.

quirkylibra · 03-02-2010, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FxAvatar

As someone that is having issues hearing the instructor in college and new to the HoH world, I wanted to toss you a tip that I have been using that could be changed a bit to help you out as well. As I still have most of my hearing, when it works, I have started recording my classes on a digital recorder. I know that the school is to provide you with support like note takers and such, but I for one am not a person to rely on strangers as my sole source of help.
I started off the semester with taking the digital tape recorder into class to record what is said so that I can play it back later on headsets with the volume up a bit more to my liking. It helps me refresh what I did get and fill in anything I may have missed since my hearing can randomly drop out when it wants too and I am stuck hearing a solid tone while everyone else is chatting away. Even when I can hear, I still have issues with some voices. If I cannot understand something on the recorder, I have a hearing roommate that has helped me out. This role, your hearing husband could do for you. If you find that you cannot get a note taker, then you can fall back on the recording (and I would record it anyways so he can double-checking the notes anyways).
Just don’t let them force you to use the recorder all the time, after all, they get funding to support your needs, your husband does not.

What type of recorder do you have? I have tried this with 2 different recorders and I can't seem the understand what my professor is saying. I used the CART, but with the kind of vocabulary that I am learning, I would like to have a way to fill in things that don't make sense.

FxAvatar · 03-02-2010, 11:38 AM

I use a Olympus DM-420. It has 2 mic's so each ear is recorded, with a mic jack for large hardware, and headphone jack (the mic's are really good on it). It stores as WMA or MP3 (your choice).. It can be jacked into the USB of my PC and I can store and copy the sound files any way I like, works like a usb storage drive when connected to the PC.

Babette · 03-02-2010, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Comparing your hearing to his doesn't help either of you. You're still adjusting. Don't feel guilty. This isn't about "who's deafer." It's about your adjustment process.

On another note, my Internet socialization has definitely increased. And any in-person socializing has been increasingly more and more in my own home, where I can control the sound level (for the most part).

I imagine these are common among deaf/hoh who are just getting into signing and other adaptive ways of communicating.

Thanks. I'll have to start inviting people over more instead of going out.

Babette · 03-05-2010, 09:31 AM

Either no one has posted for days, or the message boards aren't refreshing on my computer.

dogmom · 03-05-2010, 09:47 AM

Babette,
am here, just busy preparing for new puppy

**KristinaB** · 03-05-2010, 11:17 AM

I've been here a lot, but having made major strides in the adjustment process I don't visit this thread as often as I should.

My daughter was trapped in the bathroom this morning (broken doorknob) and I couldn't hear her calling for help. My mother finally heard her after about 2 hours. Man did I feel terrible. I keep telling her not to close door all the way, but to just block it with a door stop that's in the bathroom, but she still slams the door. We can't replace the doorknob since MIL owns the house and wants me to spray it with WD-40. (it won't work even then) Daughter and I have now rigged a light so that if there is a problem, she pulls a cord and a light on my desk (3 feet from door) will come on.

She is doing better but has never liked enclosed spaces to begin with. She is now out on her bicycle to get some space and air.

**sallylou** · 03-05-2010, 01:38 PM

Sorry to hear about that Kristina but don't take it hard. Accidents happen. The kids always take them better than the adults. Glad that she's out getting some fresh air now.

I'm dropping by AD every day. Just lots going on in real life at the moment. Looking forward to Spring Break with the kids.

Lighthouse77 · 03-05-2010, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KristinaB

I've been here a lot, but having made major strides in the adjustment process I don't visit this thread as often as I should.

My daughter was trapped in the bathroom this morning (broken doorknob) and I couldn't hear her calling for help. My mother finally heard her after about 2 hours. Man did I feel terrible. I keep telling her not to close door all the way, but to just block it with a door stop that's in the bathroom, but she still slams the door. We can't replace the doorknob since MIL owns the house and wants me to spray it with WD-40. (it won't work even then) Daughter and I have now rigged a light so that if there is a problem, she pulls a cord and a light on my desk (3 feet from door) will come on.

She is doing better but has never liked enclosed spaces to begin with. She is now out on her bicycle to get some space and air.

hey, don't feel bad, just be glad she is ok. Rule of thumb I usually have for myself, If I don't see my kid anywhere within 30 minutes or less, something is up and time to check on them. I usually see them get up for bathroom, to snack, etc. And none of my inside doors have a lock for a reason (in fact, when I was growing up, none of our doors had a doorknobs). yeah, I have alot of energy, yet so tired.

**shel90** · 03-05-2010, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lighthouse77

hey, don't feel bad, just be glad she is ok. Rule of thumb I usually have for myself, If I don't see my kid anywhere within 30 minutes or less, something is up and time to check on them. I usually see them get up for bathroom, to snack, etc. And none of my inside doors have a lock for a reason (in fact, when I was growing up, none of our doors had a doorknobs). yeah, I have alot of energy, yet so tired.

That's my rule of thumb too. Must know where my kids are at all times in the house so I am always constantly checking on them knowing that I cant use my hearing to check on them.

Hugs Kristina!

Babette · 03-07-2010, 10:25 AM

Glad to see you all posting again. This last week has been both incredible and frustrating. My physics teacher invited me to take part in two projects, one of which is with NASA. I'm actually getting to do some hands on rocket science. I had hoped to get into something like this in grad school, so to have the chance as a sophomore is amazing.

On the down side, it's allergy time of year, so the congestion in my head includes my ears and my hearing made a pretty significant drop. I explained it to my kids and they're really making an effort to face me and speak clearly, but there's still a lot of me asking them to repeat themselves.

springtime · 03-18-2010, 09:16 AM

Hi, I'm new here and just posted an intro in the intro thread. I'm 38, just diagnosed with otosclerosis and conductive hearing loss, and tinnitus. I have very mild loss in my right ear, and significant loss (mid and low tone) and tinnitus in the left. My ENT recommended a hearing aid, and I actually had an assessment, but am having a hard time adjusting to the idea. And the $2700 cost

. So I have not ordered it yet.

Sometimes I hear well and sometimes I miss hearing or mis-hear

so I'm adjusting to that also-it was happening before but I might have been in denial a bit.

Anyhow, I'm reading and learning here at AllDeaf-this place is super!

Babette · 03-21-2010, 11:41 PM

Welcome, Springtime. I know what you mean about denial. I kept avoiding admitting that it was a problem until there was no longer any way to hide it.

This weekend I got frustrated and blew up at my mom. Rather than walk 15 feet to me when she wants to talk, she yells through the house until my dad lets me know she wants me to go to her. I've decided that if it's not important enough for her to walk 15 feet then it's not worth me walking 15 feet either. My poor ex, I took the kids over to his house tonight and I was dropping f-bombs in almost every sentence. It's just so irritating to find out that someone has been speaking to me or trying to get my attention and that I had no clue.

On the positive side though, I can now completely ignore her even when I can hear her and get away with it.

**KristinaB** · 03-23-2010, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babette

Welcome, Springtime. I know what you mean about denial. I kept avoiding admitting that it was a problem until there was no longer any way to hide it.

This weekend I got frustrated and blew up at my mom. Rather than walk 15 feet to me when she wants to talk, she yells through the house until my dad lets me know she wants me to go to her. I've decided that if it's not important enough for her to walk 15 feet then it's not worth me walking 15 feet either. My poor ex, I took the kids over to his house tonight and I was dropping f-bombs in almost every sentence. It's just so irritating to find out that someone has been speaking to me or trying to get my attention and that I had no clue.

On the positive side though, I can now completely ignore her even when I can hear her and get away with it.

I know totally what you mean about mothers or any family member who tries to speak from another room. What I have to remember is that my mother is going through issues of her own, and she forgets and then I have no excuse to snip at her for not remembering that I am deaf. My problem is hubby. He tries and tries to talk to me at night without the lights. It's gotten so I sleep with a flashlight just to deal with it.

Babette · 03-23-2010, 05:50 PM

I think I finally got through to my kids about how it is for me. I put headphones on them (the ones that cover the whole ear) and then spoke quietly to them. They really had to work to understand what I was saying. I'm sure they will still forget from time to time, but they now have a better idea of why I keep asking them to repeat themselves.

springtime · 04-01-2010, 09:45 AM

I keep having to remind the kids, one talk at a time! Because when there is backround noise, everything sounds to me like mmmrrrmrrrrrrrrmrrrrrrrrr. They need to learn to take turns talking anyways, lol!

Mrs_Moose · 04-22-2010, 04:41 AM

Y'all seem a wee bit younger than me here but I'll do this anyway. I'm 62 and suddenly lost my hearing about 3 years ago. I don't lip read very well though am trying to learn, and I don't sign..have no one to practice with anyway. Before I lost my hearing , my husband and I retired to become campground hosts and volunteers in parks ( early retirement). That's impossible now because I am so off balance, I look drunk when I try to walk and can't communicate with the guests. I think the balance problem drives me crazier than anything at this point. Some days, I barely make it walking around the block even with a cane or my walking stick. I live in Montana and I can't get out in winter because I can't walk on the ice and snow! So am pretty well isolated. Would love to go back to work but between my age and balance and my hearing, no one is going to hire me. There ought to be SOMETHING I can do but I haven't found it yet. ANyone have any experience or suggestions for the balance problem? It makes me feel 100 years old@

jwdudley · 04-22-2010, 04:57 AM

I was born and raised by deaf grandparents, grew up with 2 deaf sisters and a whole pasture full of deaf relatives. I owned my hearing aid business for over 40 years - but none of this prepared me for the sudden hearing loss that my darling wife suffered. please read her story at Jwdudley

dorothybaez · 04-22-2010, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KristinaB

I've been here a lot, but having made major strides in the adjustment process I don't visit this thread as often as I should.

My daughter was trapped in the bathroom this morning (broken doorknob) and I couldn't hear her calling for help. My mother finally heard her after about 2 hours. Man did I feel terrible. I keep telling her not to close door all the way, but to just block it with a door stop that's in the bathroom, but she still slams the door. We can't replace the doorknob since MIL owns the house and wants me to spray it with WD-40. (it won't work even then) Daughter and I have now rigged a light so that if there is a problem, she pulls a cord and a light on my desk (3 feet from door) will come on.

She is doing better but has never liked enclosed spaces to begin with. She is now out on her bicycle to get some space and air.

Wow. When my now 19 year old was about 12, some kids came and beat him up in the front yard. I was in the kitchen and didn't hear a damn thing. He was calling me, screaming for me to help him.

It was awful.

willowloo · 04-23-2010, 03:21 PM

Well, I don’t know if this is the right forum for me but I need some support from others going through what I am.

I have been suffering from some hearing loss for a few years and thought it was allergy related. Well, I definitely was way off. Apparently, I have a genetic disorder called large vestibular aqueduct syndrome causing both conductive and sensory loss. My left ear is severe and my right is moderate. I guess I have inadvertently learned to reading lips which has pulled me through.

I am a neonatal intensive care nurse and have been having a hard time localizing where the monitors alarms are coming from as well as using my stethoscope. Anyone have any advice on what to do about a stethoscope? I have two CIC phonax hearing aids. I have been using hearing aids for 3 weeks now but haven’t tested them at work yet. That is because I have been getting canceled due to low census. I don’t know how to tell my coworkers so any advice would be great. Nobody at work knows because I don’t want to be looked at as deferent and I can’t have a conversation without tons of tears. I am also afraid that they may say I am not safe to do my job. I have been a NICU nurse for over 10 yrs and that is all I know. I am worried how long I am going to be able to continue working since becoming deaf is my future.

How do you all cope? One day I am fine the next day I am completely depressed. I am married and have 2 children and don’t know if I should go ahead and try to learn ASL as well as my family. My husband is very supportive and said he will learn ASL. I don’t know of anyone else who is HOH or deaf so ASL would just be used for my family.

thanks

**sallylou** · 04-23-2010, 03:30 PM

There are special stethoscopes here:

Amplified Stethoscopes for deaf and hard of hearing

Contact vocational rehabilitation for help getting your employer to provide the equipment that you need. ADA requires reasonable accommodation. There is no reason that you can't continue your job.

We have doctors and nurses on this forum. I recommend posting another thread asking for suggestions.

**KristinaB** · 04-23-2010, 03:45 PM

Willowloo-

As far as the depression goes - it takes time and patience. I had 42 years to deal with varying degrees of hearing loss starting from mild and progressing to severe/profound. At 42 I went totally deaf. I have run (and sometimes still do) a whole range of emotions. AllDeaf has helped me through a lot of the emotions. While no ONE particular person is the sole support, I take everyone with their varying emotions and types of comments. We have users who are very serious and those who just like a good time. We have some who can be extremely set in their ways, and others who while not veering off their beliefs, will be very helpful in letting you see both sides of whatever issue.

For me, it was take one day at a time, check in every so often, participate in discussions and fun and eventually, you will gain more of an understanding on what to expect and the depression will occur less and less.

As SallyLou mentioned, we have a few medical people here on AllDeaf who will be able to help you in that field.

Keep your chin up and love those babies in the NICU. My daughter spent time in the NICU at birth due to her size and dehydration at birth.

hohDougRN · 04-23-2010, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowloo

Well, I don’t know if this is the right forum for me but I need some support from others going through what I am.

I have been suffering from some hearing loss for a few years and thought it was allergy related. Well, I definitely was way off. Apparently, I have a genetic disorder called large vestibular aqueduct syndrome causing both conductive and sensory loss. My left ear is severe and my right is moderate. I guess I have inadvertently learned to reading lips which has pulled me through.

I am a neonatal intensive care nurse and have been having a hard time localizing where the monitors alarms are coming from as well as using my stethoscope. Anyone have any advice on what to do about a stethoscope? I have two CIC phonax hearing aids. I have been using hearing aids for 3 weeks now but haven’t tested them at work yet. That is because I have been getting canceled due to low census. I don’t know how to tell my coworkers so any advice would be great. Nobody at work knows because I don’t want to be looked at as deferent and I can’t have a conversation without tons of tears. I am also afraid that they may say I am not safe to do my job. I have been a NICU nurse for over 10 yrs and that is all I know. I am worried how long I am going to be able to continue working since becoming deaf is my future.

How do you all cope? One day I am fine the next day I am completely depressed. I am married and have 2 children and don’t know if I should go ahead and try to learn ASL as well as my family. My husband is very supportive and said he will learn ASL. I don’t know of anyone else who is HOH or deaf so ASL would just be used for my family.

thanks

Willow, I am an ICU nurse and I have more severe hearing loss than you stated you have. Trust me, you can be plenty successful at nursing with severe hearing loss. First thing I would do if I were you would be to take the CIC hearing aids back and request something that is both more powerfully capable and assistive stethescope compatable. I know things can work out for you and Im always happy to answer questions.

**shel90** · 04-23-2010, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs_Moose

Y'all seem a wee bit younger than me here but I'll do this anyway. I'm 62 and suddenly lost my hearing about 3 years ago. I don't lip read very well though am trying to learn, and I don't sign..have no one to practice with anyway. Before I lost my hearing , my husband and I retired to become campground hosts and volunteers in parks ( early retirement). That's impossible now because I am so off balance, I look drunk when I try to walk and can't communicate with the guests. I think the balance problem drives me crazier than anything at this point. Some days, I barely make it walking around the block even with a cane or my walking stick. I live in Montana and I can't get out in winter because I can't walk on the ice and snow! So am pretty well isolated. Would love to go back to work but between my age and balance and my hearing, no one is going to hire me. There ought to be SOMETHING I can do but I haven't found it yet. ANyone have any experience or suggestions for the balance problem? It makes me feel 100 years old@

Have you checked with your doctor about the balance issues?

springtime · 04-24-2010, 05:49 AM

Hi everyone

(I posted this in the HA forum too and copied here since I gotta run to work soon!)

I had posted that I was considering a HA and was going to Costco to price them-but those posts got eaten

. I went on Thursday. They have the little soundproof booth plopped right down in the store by the tv's. lol. The audi was a nice younger lady, who is non-comminsioned, meaning she works for Costco, not the HA companies.

She did the testing, which came out exactly the same as at my ENT's-right ear is normal, left ear is moderate loss. She went over options, then I decided to test a Rexon Cobalt 16 BTE open fit. She put the test one on and programmed it and says, go walk around Costco for about half an hour and see how you feel.

Wow, it was wild! I could hear fans running, kids crying, someone scraping the floor, forklifts beeping-which is so different from the mmrmrrrrrmrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmrrrrrr sound that I was hearing when we got there (Costco is noisy and I was hearing it all together rather than individual noises). I could understand DH when we spoke to me while walking at my left side.

I ended up ordering one, it is $1300, included batteries, a dryer, and extended warranty. Costco also has 90 day try out period. She ordered me a brown unit, to match my hair. It will come in a week or so. It's the Rexton Cobalt 16, it has room for adjustment (as my loss progresses) and you can even order a more powerful receiver tube for $45, if needed in the future, so I should get long use out of it. I'm happy I decided to do this!

Rampratt · 04-24-2010, 12:39 PM

Mrs.Moose;

first I haven't read all the above posts which I probably should before I open my big mouth. you are not the oldest one here by a long shot. I'm a young 78 soon to be 79 and CI about two months ago. I'm sure there are a lot of places you could go but I highly recommend the Arizona hearing and balance center in Gilbert Arizona. I obviously don't know your problems but feel sure there is some answers out there. We have lived after retirement in a motor home or boat for 10 years and now finally settling down to a house again, So have a slight idea of what you are talking about. Come on down and enjoy the winter. I know it's getting warm down here now and if you are not in a hurry, this makes for a very nice place to get away from shoveling the weather

Anyway, just wanted you to know that all are not kids on this site.

03-05-2010, 11:17 AM	#701 (permalink)
KristinaB New SDIT Deacon Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Land of the backstroke Posts: 13,779	I've been here a lot, but having made major strides in the adjustment process I don't visit this thread as often as I should. My daughter was trapped in the bathroom this morning (broken doorknob) and I couldn't hear her calling for help. My mother finally heard her after about 2 hours. Man did I feel terrible. I keep telling her not to close door all the way, but to just block it with a door stop that's in the bathroom, but she still slams the door. We can't replace the doorknob since MIL owns the house and wants me to spray it with WD-40. (it won't work even then) Daughter and I have now rigged a light so that if there is a problem, she pulls a cord and a light on my desk (3 feet from door) will come on. She is doing better but has never liked enclosed spaces to begin with. She is now out on her bicycle to get some space and air. __________________ Taking life one day at a time.

03-05-2010, 01:38 PM	#702 (permalink)
sallylou Potterhead and Janeite Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 6,653	Sorry to hear about that Kristina but don't take it hard. Accidents happen. The kids always take them better than the adults. Glad that she's out getting some fresh air now. I'm dropping by AD every day. Just lots going on in real life at the moment. Looking forward to Spring Break with the kids. __________________

04-22-2010, 04:57 AM	#712 (permalink)
jwdudley Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Corpus Chiristi TX Posts: 21 Blog Entries: 3	I was born and raised by deaf grandparents, grew up with 2 deaf sisters and a whole pasture full of deaf relatives. I owned my hearing aid business for over 40 years - but none of this prepared me for the sudden hearing loss that my darling wife suffered. please read her story at Jwdudley __________________ ASL Bible Story Videos Hearing Aid Products and Services

04-23-2010, 03:21 PM	#714 (permalink)
willowloo Registered User Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1	Adjusting to becoming deaf Well, I don’t know if this is the right forum for me but I need some support from others going through what I am. I have been suffering from some hearing loss for a few years and thought it was allergy related. Well, I definitely was way off. Apparently, I have a genetic disorder called large vestibular aqueduct syndrome causing both conductive and sensory loss. My left ear is severe and my right is moderate. I guess I have inadvertently learned to reading lips which has pulled me through. I am a neonatal intensive care nurse and have been having a hard time localizing where the monitors alarms are coming from as well as using my stethoscope. Anyone have any advice on what to do about a stethoscope? I have two CIC phonax hearing aids. I have been using hearing aids for 3 weeks now but haven’t tested them at work yet. That is because I have been getting canceled due to low census. I don’t know how to tell my coworkers so any advice would be great. Nobody at work knows because I don’t want to be looked at as deferent and I can’t have a conversation without tons of tears. I am also afraid that they may say I am not safe to do my job. I have been a NICU nurse for over 10 yrs and that is all I know. I am worried how long I am going to be able to continue working since becoming deaf is my future. How do you all cope? One day I am fine the next day I am completely depressed. I am married and have 2 children and don’t know if I should go ahead and try to learn ASL as well as my family. My husband is very supportive and said he will learn ASL. I don’t know of anyone else who is HOH or deaf so ASL would just be used for my family. thanks

04-23-2010, 03:45 PM	#716 (permalink)
KristinaB New SDIT Deacon Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Land of the backstroke Posts: 13,779	Willowloo- As far as the depression goes - it takes time and patience. I had 42 years to deal with varying degrees of hearing loss starting from mild and progressing to severe/profound. At 42 I went totally deaf. I have run (and sometimes still do) a whole range of emotions. AllDeaf has helped me through a lot of the emotions. While no ONE particular person is the sole support, I take everyone with their varying emotions and types of comments. We have users who are very serious and those who just like a good time. We have some who can be extremely set in their ways, and others who while not veering off their beliefs, will be very helpful in letting you see both sides of whatever issue. For me, it was take one day at a time, check in every so often, participate in discussions and fun and eventually, you will gain more of an understanding on what to expect and the depression will occur less and less. As SallyLou mentioned, we have a few medical people here on AllDeaf who will be able to help you in that field. Keep your chin up and love those babies in the NICU. My daughter spent time in the NICU at birth due to her size and dehydration at birth. __________________ Taking life one day at a time.

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

03-01-2010, 09:42 PM	#692 (permalink)
Babette Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 8	I'll have to give that a try. I know they want to help and to be understood, they just forget because they don't experience it. I've also been incredibly fortunate to have a best friend who is deaf and is helping me cope with all of this. I feel like such a whiny-butt griping about about my loss (I still have 70% hearing) when he has less than 10%. However, we both know mine is going to get worse and he's teaching me ways to adapt. I was pretty stressed about it at first, but now I'm starting to see that even a total loss of hearing wouldn't be the catastrophe I had believed it to be. He has some problems that keep him from going out of the house much (not related to hearing loss) and most of his interactions with people are through internet chat and social networking sites. In person it's not too bad because he reads lips and body language and I can still hear men's voices fairly well. I did have a big meltdown on him when he was feeling well enough to go out for ice cream. There was a very noisy birthday party in the restaurant and with all the background sound I just couldn't hear him. And since he can't hear the volume of his own voice, he didn't realize how softly he was speaking. I ended up in tears and I think he thought I was going to tell him off, but instead I asked "Is this how it is for you all of the time?" So far mostly what I have is frustration with what's going on. But, there is the bonus that he never complains about my snoring. LOL

03-02-2010, 08:35 AM	#694 (permalink)
dogmom Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5,475	sally, sorry I am late in answering your question I respond with a combination of things like - well, for me, it's important to learn about various cultures and languages, and I fairly routinely come across people here who sign and I want to communicate better. For me also as someone who is hoh, whether or not I lose more of it in a physical sense, I focus on actually GAINING something else if I show respect for and desire to learn ASL. There is the possibility that I could make new friends - but beyond that, in a broader sense, there is much more than my metaphorical or physical "little world"; seeing how we can connect is more important than maintaining separation. and for me as a Jew, I understand about the importance of language/culture/heritage; I can relate to the loss of these things, to oppression. -ASL, certainly Spanish, Lao, Hmong see to be fairly routine in my area, with the spoken languages being concentrated especially in certain areas, but I just was able to use some Spanish couple days ago in trying to determine closing hour at local mall.

03-02-2010, 11:38 AM	#697 (permalink)
FxAvatar Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Grandview MO (Kansas City area) Posts: 93	I use a Olympus DM-420. It has 2 mic's so each ear is recorded, with a mic jack for large hardware, and headphone jack (the mic's are really good on it). It stores as WMA or MP3 (your choice).. It can be jacked into the USB of my PC and I can store and copy the sound files any way I like, works like a usb storage drive when connected to the PC.

03-05-2010, 09:31 AM	#699 (permalink)
Babette Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 8	Either no one has posted for days, or the message boards aren't refreshing on my computer.

03-05-2010, 09:47 AM	#700 (permalink)
dogmom Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5,475	Babette, am here, just busy preparing for new puppy

03-07-2010, 10:25 AM	#705 (permalink)
Babette Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 8	Glad to see you all posting again. This last week has been both incredible and frustrating. My physics teacher invited me to take part in two projects, one of which is with NASA. I'm actually getting to do some hands on rocket science. I had hoped to get into something like this in grad school, so to have the chance as a sophomore is amazing. On the down side, it's allergy time of year, so the congestion in my head includes my ears and my hearing made a pretty significant drop. I explained it to my kids and they're really making an effort to face me and speak clearly, but there's still a lot of me asking them to repeat themselves.

03-18-2010, 09:16 AM	#706 (permalink)
springtime Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 80	Hi, I'm new here and just posted an intro in the intro thread. I'm 38, just diagnosed with otosclerosis and conductive hearing loss, and tinnitus. I have very mild loss in my right ear, and significant loss (mid and low tone) and tinnitus in the left. My ENT recommended a hearing aid, and I actually had an assessment, but am having a hard time adjusting to the idea. And the $2700 cost . So I have not ordered it yet. Sometimes I hear well and sometimes I miss hearing or mis-hear so I'm adjusting to that also-it was happening before but I might have been in denial a bit. Anyhow, I'm reading and learning here at AllDeaf-this place is super!

03-21-2010, 11:41 PM	#707 (permalink)
Babette Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 8	Welcome, Springtime. I know what you mean about denial. I kept avoiding admitting that it was a problem until there was no longer any way to hide it. This weekend I got frustrated and blew up at my mom. Rather than walk 15 feet to me when she wants to talk, she yells through the house until my dad lets me know she wants me to go to her. I've decided that if it's not important enough for her to walk 15 feet then it's not worth me walking 15 feet either. My poor ex, I took the kids over to his house tonight and I was dropping f-bombs in almost every sentence. It's just so irritating to find out that someone has been speaking to me or trying to get my attention and that I had no clue. On the positive side though, I can now completely ignore her even when I can hear her and get away with it.

03-23-2010, 05:50 PM	#709 (permalink)
Babette Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 8	I think I finally got through to my kids about how it is for me. I put headphones on them (the ones that cover the whole ear) and then spoke quietly to them. They really had to work to understand what I was saying. I'm sure they will still forget from time to time, but they now have a better idea of why I keep asking them to repeat themselves.

04-01-2010, 09:45 AM	#710 (permalink)
springtime Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 80	I keep having to remind the kids, one talk at a time! Because when there is backround noise, everything sounds to me like mmmrrrmrrrrrrrrmrrrrrrrrr. They need to learn to take turns talking anyways, lol!

04-22-2010, 04:41 AM	#711 (permalink)
Mrs_Moose Registered User Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Montana Posts: 2	Y'all seem a wee bit younger than me here but I'll do this anyway. I'm 62 and suddenly lost my hearing about 3 years ago. I don't lip read very well though am trying to learn, and I don't sign..have no one to practice with anyway. Before I lost my hearing , my husband and I retired to become campground hosts and volunteers in parks ( early retirement). That's impossible now because I am so off balance, I look drunk when I try to walk and can't communicate with the guests. I think the balance problem drives me crazier than anything at this point. Some days, I barely make it walking around the block even with a cane or my walking stick. I live in Montana and I can't get out in winter because I can't walk on the ice and snow! So am pretty well isolated. Would love to go back to work but between my age and balance and my hearing, no one is going to hire me. There ought to be SOMETHING I can do but I haven't found it yet. ANyone have any experience or suggestions for the balance problem? It makes me feel 100 years old@

04-23-2010, 03:30 PM	#715 (permalink)
sallylou Potterhead and Janeite Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 6,653	There are special stethoscopes here: Amplified Stethoscopes for deaf and hard of hearing Contact vocational rehabilitation for help getting your employer to provide the equipment that you need. ADA requires reasonable accommodation. There is no reason that you can't continue your job. We have doctors and nurses on this forum. I recommend posting another thread asking for suggestions.

04-24-2010, 05:49 AM	#719 (permalink)
springtime Registered User Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 80	Hi everyone (I posted this in the HA forum too and copied here since I gotta run to work soon!) I had posted that I was considering a HA and was going to Costco to price them-but those posts got eaten . I went on Thursday. They have the little soundproof booth plopped right down in the store by the tv's. lol. The audi was a nice younger lady, who is non-comminsioned, meaning she works for Costco, not the HA companies. She did the testing, which came out exactly the same as at my ENT's-right ear is normal, left ear is moderate loss. She went over options, then I decided to test a Rexon Cobalt 16 BTE open fit. She put the test one on and programmed it and says, go walk around Costco for about half an hour and see how you feel. Wow, it was wild! I could hear fans running, kids crying, someone scraping the floor, forklifts beeping-which is so different from the mmrmrrrrrmrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmrrrrrr sound that I was hearing when we got there (Costco is noisy and I was hearing it all together rather than individual noises). I could understand DH when we spoke to me while walking at my left side. I ended up ordering one, it is $1300, included batteries, a dryer, and extended warranty. Costco also has 90 day try out period. She ordered me a brown unit, to match my hair. It will come in a week or so. It's the Rexton Cobalt 16, it has room for adjustment (as my loss progresses) and you can even order a more powerful receiver tube for $45, if needed in the future, so I should get long use out of it. I'm happy I decided to do this!

04-24-2010, 12:39 PM	#720 (permalink)
Rampratt Registered User Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Casa Grande Arizona Posts: 149	Mrs.Moose; first I haven't read all the above posts which I probably should before I open my big mouth. you are not the oldest one here by a long shot. I'm a young 78 soon to be 79 and CI about two months ago. I'm sure there are a lot of places you could go but I highly recommend the Arizona hearing and balance center in Gilbert Arizona. I obviously don't know your problems but feel sure there is some answers out there. We have lived after retirement in a motor home or boat for 10 years and now finally settling down to a house again, So have a slight idea of what you are talking about. Come on down and enjoy the winter. I know it's getting warm down here now and if you are not in a hurry, this makes for a very nice place to get away from shoveling the weather Anyway, just wanted you to know that all are not kids on this site.

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