Do You Remember Your First Time?

Pepsi · 05-04-2008, 07:38 AM

I got to thinking about my first time I found out that I was different.I was about 5 or 6 years old and we lived in southwest Baltimore.There was a girl name brenda that lived across the street from us,so one day she came over to the yard,I guess she wanted to play,She kept giving me this weird look,so she ask my mother why I was talking funny and why I can't understand her? I can remember the look on my mother's face.It was then I found out that I was different.After that day she never came back.Do you remember your first time?

deafbajagal · 05-04-2008, 09:46 AM

The very first day that they put me out of the deaf school and placed me into a public school. I was in first grade. I knew then that I would never be the same. My parents and older sisters said it was years before they heard me laugh again.

Phillips · 05-04-2008, 10:02 AM

I remember that when I felt different from hearing the world when I was younger than 5 years old...... My older deaf cousins explain to me and my deaf bro too.

***VamPyroX*** · 05-04-2008, 12:38 PM

I can't remember the time I was different from others. I guess I went with the flow.

moonflower · 05-04-2008, 12:42 PM

i don't remember be different when i was young i guess i was treated good and i did had good childhood.

Pepsi · 05-04-2008, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

The very first day that they put me out of the deaf school and placed me into a public school. I was in first grade. I knew then that I would never be the same. My parents and older sisters said it was years before they heard me laugh again.

I did not go to school till I was 7,I never went to a deaf school. I know how you feel.

Pepsi · 05-04-2008, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonflower

i don't remember be different when i was young i guess i was treated good and i did had good childhood.

I am happy for you moonflower that you had a good childhood.

OldNavyGirl · 05-04-2008, 04:56 PM

i dont remember much when i was a child. but i entered deaf school when i was 8th grade and yes i have changed some because I learned a lot of new things that i never saw before like ASL -- i was very english but now i'm more of PSE.... and few others. its a learning experience.

Cheri · 05-04-2008, 05:56 PM

I don't remember when I started to noticed that I can't hear or that I felt different.

All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music.

Miss-Delectable · 05-04-2008, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

The very first day that they put me out of the deaf school and placed me into a public school. I was in first grade. I knew then that I would never be the same. My parents and older sisters said it was years before they heard me laugh again.

Wow, that's a big clue that you were in emotional turmoil.

Miss-Delectable · 05-04-2008, 09:18 PM

Well, I can't pinpoint a moment when I knew I was different.
But I'll try....

I guess on a nonverbal level I knew I was different in kindergarten because I'd play by myself a lot as evidenced in photos and videos.

However, my family never made me feel different and there were communication, which helped lessen the feeling of isolation.

And I went to schools for the deaf which I never knew I was different because I was among with others in same boat. It would be only outside school when I realize how different we are.

Ozzie · 05-04-2008, 09:19 PM

No, I don't think I can remember when, most probably when I started mainstream in Year 4.

Dixie · 05-04-2008, 10:09 PM

The first time I realized I was different from the rest was in junior high. People were finding out I was deaf and I started losing friends and fast. By year 9 I was an outcast and prime target for bullies which happened, and got on a physical level. After that year I was like damn life is nothing but a bitch plain and simple. My grandmother said I said I had a very 'dead' appearence. I wasnt communicating, I went into my own little fantasy world where I would dissappear into nothing. I turned into a freak of sorts. Self-mutilation/destruction. Even developed anorexia. I couldnt figure out what was wrong. I wasnt thin enough, I wasnt beautiful enough, I wasnt good enough.

By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore.

But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them.

Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe.

Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough.

Pepsi · 05-04-2008, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

I don't remember when I started to noticed that I can't hear or that I felt different.

All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music.

I know how you feel Cheri, I am losing more of my hearing.

Dixie · 05-04-2008, 10:12 PM

same here I had the TV way up and still couldnt hear the dialogue, so I turned on the CC. dad walked in and said 'put your hearing aid in.' I said no, I choose not to right now.

Pepsi · 05-04-2008, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

The first time I realized I was different from the rest was in junior high. People were finding out I was deaf and I started losing friends and fast. By year 9 I was an outcast and prime target for bullies which happened, and got on a physical level. After that year I was like damn life is nothing but a bitch plain and simple. My grandmother said I said I had a very 'dead' appearence. I wasnt communicating, I went into my own little fantasy world where I would dissappear into nothing. I turned into a freak of sorts. Self-mutilation/destruction. Even developed anorexia. I couldnt figure out what was wrong. I wasnt thin enough, I wasnt beautiful enough, I wasnt good enough.

By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore.

But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them.

Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe.

Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough.

Dixie, I agree it's them and not you.

Brian · 05-05-2008, 05:52 AM

At the deaf school, I felt very different from the children - I believe this was due being a day student. I couldn't wait to leave school at 3:30PM daily to get home so I could play with the children in the neighbourhood.

I remember begging my parents to let me attend a regular school. My mother told me years later, that the reason they didn't put me in regular school was that the local school district lacked resources for the deaf/hard-of-hearing. I was supposed to start regular high school in another state, but my mother was reluctant to leave her family and job behind.

Pepsi · 05-05-2008, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

same here I had the TV way up and still couldnt hear the dialogue, so I turned on the CC. dad walked in and said 'put your hearing aid in.' I said no, I choose not to right now.

My family gets mad if I use CC.So I will be getting my own T.V. for my bedroom.

shel90 · 05-05-2008, 07:38 PM

During my early years at school, I didnt notice that I was different and there was no "one time" that occurred to make me realize that I was different. It started subtle around 5th grade. I think that was when the kids I knew since kindergarten started rejecting me for no reason. At first, I didnt understand it and then the bullying came next. That was when I started realize that I wasnt like them. It really hurted a lot cuz those kids were my neighborhood and school friends since I was 5 years old and all of sudden, I am not good enough for them. Middle school was pure pure pure hell...trying to fit in but couldnt understand why I wasnt able to fully fit in with any groups. Yes, I had friends but even with them, I felt different. During high school, things got better for a few reasons...my best friend who is deaf finally was able to go to the same school as I did, the student population was triple the size of my elementary and middle school population so it was easy for me to blend in, and the maturity level. However, the void feeling still grew bigger and bigger because I started worrying about my future and what kinds of job I could get since I had never been exposed to any Deaf role models..just hearing only.

I hated feeling different...I was the kind of person who needed to fit in.

***Jolie_77*** · 05-05-2008, 07:52 PM

I remember the first time I realized I was different. I was pretty young to notice it.

Coming from a hearing family, I was accustomed to speak/sign with family members and didn't really notice I was a deaf person as a whole until I was around 8 or 9 years old. I went to a summer-long camp that was only for deaf children. From there, I saw a big difference and saw other deaf children signing to each other and there were counselors who are deaf as well. I realized I was part of something and that moment, I knew I am a deaf person as a whole and knew I was different from the rest.

deafdyke · 05-05-2008, 07:58 PM

OMG Dixie and Shel, I really do think that BY LAW kids and their parents should be informed of other schooling options. jr high and high school were HELL for me. I really do think that jr high and high school were significent triggers in the mental illness issues I deal with on a day to day baisis.

freckles · 05-05-2008, 09:01 PM

no.. my life was never nomral (to notice). or is anyway.

whenever it will be, it won't be normal for me lol.

August · 05-05-2008, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi Lover

My family gets mad if I use CC.So I will be getting my own T.V. for my bedroom.

your family is stupid.

moonflower · 05-05-2008, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi Lover

My family gets mad if I use CC.So I will be getting my own T.V. for my bedroom.

wow interesting

but my family not care if i use CC that was before i got my own tv and i have my own tv now

garrent · 05-06-2008, 12:05 AM

i dont really remmy that well but my mom told me that i noticed that my mom signed and thought she was same as me so i asked her if she is deaf too since i knew that i cant hear and i sign she said no that she is hearing and all it dont really bother me i found out that i am deaf when i was much younger i went to hearing school for almost in my whole life but i went to deaf school for 4 yrs in high school i dont feel much different from hearing ppl cuz we are all human being only one thing is different is that i cant hear that it

deafskeptic · 05-06-2008, 05:25 AM

I remember going to the 4th grade and this was my first day as a mainstreamed deaf person. I remember stepping in the classroom and seeing 20 other people staring at me.

That was a shock to me considering that the Richmond oral program rarely had more than five students in it. I had to wear the phonic ear in 4th grade and only then it hit me that i was the only deaf person in that school. I didn't mind the phonic ear but I certainly minded it in the 6th grade. I didn't have to wear it in the fifth grade.

Holly · 05-06-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi Lover

My family gets mad if I use CC.So I will be getting my own T.V. for my bedroom.

I bet they wouldn't be so mad if they needed it too!

05-04-2008, 07:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pepsi Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: West Virginia Posts: 1,004	Do You Remember Your First Time? I got to thinking about my first time I found out that I was different.I was about 5 or 6 years old and we lived in southwest Baltimore.There was a girl name brenda that lived across the street from us,so one day she came over to the yard,I guess she wanted to play,She kept giving me this weird look,so she ask my mother why I was talking funny and why I can't understand her? I can remember the look on my mother's face.It was then I found out that I was different.After that day she never came back.Do you remember your first time? __________________

05-04-2008, 10:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
Phillips Lets ride horses! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somewhere in Northeast Posts: 4,873 Blog Entries: 2	I remember that when I felt different from hearing the world when I was younger than 5 years old...... My older deaf cousins explain to me and my deaf bro too. __________________ *Enjoy life today, Yesterday has past and Tomorrow may never come.*

05-04-2008, 12:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 23,575	I can't remember the time I was different from others. I guess I went with the flow. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

05-04-2008, 04:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
OldNavyGirl Enjoy reading my avatar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere in Illinois Posts: 3,483	i dont remember much when i was a child. but i entered deaf school when i was 8th grade and yes i have changed some because I learned a lot of new things that i never saw before like ASL -- i was very english but now i'm more of PSE.... and few others. its a learning experience. __________________ In this world, where everything seems uncertain, only one thing I wish to be definite, you will always be my friend, beyond words, beyond time and beyond distance.

05-04-2008, 05:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 19,603	I don't remember when I started to noticed that I can't hear or that I felt different. All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music. __________________

Today
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05-04-2008, 09:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
deafbajagal Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 694	The very first day that they put me out of the deaf school and placed me into a public school. I was in first grade. I knew then that I would never be the same. My parents and older sisters said it was years before they heard me laugh again.

05-04-2008, 12:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
moonflower get ready for summer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Washtenaw County Michigan Posts: 4,064	i don't remember be different when i was young i guess i was treated good and i did had good childhood.

05-04-2008, 09:18 PM	#11 (permalink)
Miss-Delectable Capt Tony Nelson, Jeannie Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: No.1 Shopping Capital in Australia Posts: 7,623	Well, I can't pinpoint a moment when I knew I was different. But I'll try.... I guess on a nonverbal level I knew I was different in kindergarten because I'd play by myself a lot as evidenced in photos and videos. However, my family never made me feel different and there were communication, which helped lessen the feeling of isolation. And I went to schools for the deaf which I never knew I was different because I was among with others in same boat. It would be only outside school when I realize how different we are. __________________

05-04-2008, 09:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ozzie "Golden Wattle" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 939	No, I don't think I can remember when, most probably when I started mainstream in Year 4.

05-04-2008, 10:09 PM	#13 (permalink)
Dixie Who would have thought? Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,612	The first time I realized I was different from the rest was in junior high. People were finding out I was deaf and I started losing friends and fast. By year 9 I was an outcast and prime target for bullies which happened, and got on a physical level. After that year I was like damn life is nothing but a bitch plain and simple. My grandmother said I said I had a very 'dead' appearence. I wasnt communicating, I went into my own little fantasy world where I would dissappear into nothing. I turned into a freak of sorts. Self-mutilation/destruction. Even developed anorexia. I couldnt figure out what was wrong. I wasnt thin enough, I wasnt beautiful enough, I wasnt good enough. By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore. But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them. Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe. Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough. __________________ ...Let me be the one you call... Visit my Deaf Blog If you've only had one relationship, how do you know you're good in bed? - Darren Hayes (2000) I was the kid that noticed how some concrete sparkles because of the quartz. There's beauty in concrete if you look for it. - Darren Hayes (200?) Last edited by ~SG~; 05-05-2008 at 06:50 AM. Reason: Removed first comment.

05-04-2008, 10:12 PM	#15 (permalink)
Dixie Who would have thought? Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,612	same here I had the TV way up and still couldnt hear the dialogue, so I turned on the CC. dad walked in and said 'put your hearing aid in.' I said no, I choose not to right now. __________________ ...Let me be the one you call... Visit my Deaf Blog If you've only had one relationship, how do you know you're good in bed? - Darren Hayes (2000) I was the kid that noticed how some concrete sparkles because of the quartz. There's beauty in concrete if you look for it. - Darren Hayes (200?)

05-05-2008, 05:52 AM	#17 (permalink)
Brian Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: United States Posts: 1,915	At the deaf school, I felt very different from the children - I believe this was due being a day student. I couldn't wait to leave school at 3:30PM daily to get home so I could play with the children in the neighbourhood. I remember begging my parents to let me attend a regular school. My mother told me years later, that the reason they didn't put me in regular school was that the local school district lacked resources for the deaf/hard-of-hearing. I was supposed to start regular high school in another state, but my mother was reluctant to leave her family and job behind. __________________ -Brian

05-05-2008, 07:38 PM	#19 (permalink)
shel90 So ready for Springtime! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 11,315 Blog Entries: 1	During my early years at school, I didnt notice that I was different and there was no "one time" that occurred to make me realize that I was different. It started subtle around 5th grade. I think that was when the kids I knew since kindergarten started rejecting me for no reason. At first, I didnt understand it and then the bullying came next. That was when I started realize that I wasnt like them. It really hurted a lot cuz those kids were my neighborhood and school friends since I was 5 years old and all of sudden, I am not good enough for them. Middle school was pure pure pure hell...trying to fit in but couldnt understand why I wasnt able to fully fit in with any groups. Yes, I had friends but even with them, I felt different. During high school, things got better for a few reasons...my best friend who is deaf finally was able to go to the same school as I did, the student population was triple the size of my elementary and middle school population so it was easy for me to blend in, and the maturity level. However, the void feeling still grew bigger and bigger because I started worrying about my future and what kinds of job I could get since I had never been exposed to any Deaf role models..just hearing only. I hated feeling different...I was the kind of person who needed to fit in. __________________ ~Shel~

05-05-2008, 07:52 PM	#20 (permalink)
*Jolie_77* Truth does not blush. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA Posts: 3,147	I remember the first time I realized I was different. I was pretty young to notice it. Coming from a hearing family, I was accustomed to speak/sign with family members and didn't really notice I was a deaf person as a whole until I was around 8 or 9 years old. I went to a summer-long camp that was only for deaf children. From there, I saw a big difference and saw other deaf children signing to each other and there were counselors who are deaf as well. I realized I was part of something and that moment, I knew I am a deaf person as a whole and knew I was different from the rest.

05-05-2008, 07:58 PM	#21 (permalink)
deafdyke So NOT a Princess! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ROOOARRRR!!!, that's where! Posts: 6,089	OMG Dixie and Shel, I really do think that BY LAW kids and their parents should be informed of other schooling options. jr high and high school were HELL for me. I really do think that jr high and high school were significent triggers in the mental illness issues I deal with on a day to day baisis.

05-05-2008, 09:01 PM	#22 (permalink)
freckles has too many freckles Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: in a paradise of jungle with waterfalls ... Posts: 57	no.. my life was never nomral (to notice). or is anyway. whenever it will be, it won't be normal for me lol. __________________ for now .. what did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? "can I hold your hands, hands, hands and these hands too?"

05-06-2008, 12:05 AM	#25 (permalink)
garrent Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: mystery world where u dont know where i am from Posts: 89	i dont really remmy that well but my mom told me that i noticed that my mom signed and thought she was same as me so i asked her if she is deaf too since i knew that i cant hear and i sign she said no that she is hearing and all it dont really bother me i found out that i am deaf when i was much younger i went to hearing school for almost in my whole life but i went to deaf school for 4 yrs in high school i dont feel much different from hearing ppl cuz we are all human being only one thing is different is that i cant hear that it __________________

05-06-2008, 05:25 AM	#26 (permalink)
deafskeptic AAACCK! I got BORGED! Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 2,121	I remember going to the 4th grade and this was my first day as a mainstreamed deaf person. I remember stepping in the classroom and seeing 20 other people staring at me. That was a shock to me considering that the Richmond oral program rarely had more than five students in it. I had to wear the phonic ear in 4th grade and only then it hit me that i was the only deaf person in that school. I didn't mind the phonic ear but I certainly minded it in the 6th grade. I didn't have to wear it in the fifth grade. __________________ Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007. Activated on May 9th.