Do You Have Any Regrets?

Pepsi · 03-27-2008, 08:20 AM

I got to thinking about this the other day. Have you ever had any regrets in the past on the way you felt about your hearing lost? This came to me, I remember when I was a teenager I would not wear my earrings because I was so ashamed of my hearing aids that if someone saw my earrings they would see the aids.I guess I was a stupid kid. Do you have any regrets on the way you felt in the past?

doh · 03-27-2008, 11:00 AM

I am more confident now in being forward with my hearing loss and asking people to repeat things and to not cover their mouth, etc... I wish I had learned to be so confident a while ago.

If my hearing fails more in the future I'll not be ashamed. It's me!

JennyB · 03-27-2008, 01:33 PM

I wore hearing aids from when I was 2 until I was 12. When I was 12 I refused to wear them anymore because I was a vain pre-teen. I regret that choice in some ways, but it made me really improve my speech reading which is something I don't regret.

2 weeks ago when my hearing suddenly dropped from a mederatly severe-severe range to well within the profound range my hearing aids stopped working for me. I am still waiting for new hearing aids (MONDAY

) without hearing aids I can't really hear anything. I heard a building being demolished when I was literally right beside it. That is the only sound I have really heard for the past two weeks. At first I wouldn't tell anyone about being Deaf because I didn't feel comfortable with it myself. It made going out very difficult and frustrating. Yesterday I was doing errands and I went to a college that I applied to to get some information from their access centre. I was trying to find the access centre and I asked the woman at the front desk where it was. She had an accent and I couldn't understand her. I told her I am Deaf and without thinking twice about she grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down everything for me. She did this for our whole conversation, reducing both of our frustration. I always carry a note book on me but I only use it with friends, it was amazing how much easier communication because once she knew. I guess my regret is not being confident and proud to be Deaf, because once I was communicating with people became much easier.

Chase · 03-27-2008, 01:52 PM

I have a strange regret. I don't enjoy being deaf, but since I am, I wish I'd become deaf sooner.

I would have sooner seen "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" my sister suffered since birth, and would have been a better advocate for her and offered better support.

I would be a better signer now and a better speechreader.

Cowpuppy · 03-27-2008, 02:36 PM

Sure lots....but have to forgive myself for past........only one I live with till I die probably. Not knowing that gal I listed in 'Introductions' I'm trying to find. oh well

Twelphe · 03-27-2008, 04:18 PM

Is it strange to regret that you're deaf, missing out more than half in life all your life? For example, less struggle, frustration and stupidity. I'm not saying that I don't regret it. I was thinking if someone would think that as I'm thinking.

BelleSorrisa · 03-27-2008, 04:24 PM

The only thing I regret is how I treated hearing folks back when I was in HS. When I "found" my deaf identity (from going to a deaf summer camp after all these years of never having a deaf friend) - I was angry that I didn't have the opportunity to socialize when I was young. I was angry at my family, my hearing teachers and hearing friends because I felt they didn't understand me (teen angst lol) but now I dont feel that way anymore. I just regret my attitude back then.

nozobo · 03-27-2008, 05:35 PM

I regret using hearing aids... they are pain in an ass to wear it cuz everybody expect you to H E A R and T A L K ... when will hearies wake up?

GarnetTigerMom · 03-27-2008, 05:59 PM

It denpend on what sort of regret you are asking. But If I ever regret being deaf? No. But I don't enjoy being deaf, I accpeted that no matter what. Do I have regret of past relationships? yes I do. I have so many other regrets in my past and it hard to make them right. But we can't turn back the clock. I guess some of us are mainly scared and felt it would be too late. But I will tell you this, There is no such thing as a life without any regrets. However, regrets can become either burdens that interfere with your present happiness and restrict your future, or motivation to move forward.

But you can ask for forgiveness and make amends. Apologize for any harm you may have caused others. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Be compassionate toward everyone involved. Accept the circumstances. Avoid blaming others but rather take responsibility for anything that you could have better handled. Last thing, Keep your situation in perspective. Remember that anything you've done is totally forgiveable, even though it may seem unforgiveable to you.

shel90 · 03-27-2008, 06:11 PM

I have regrets for looking down on ASL and Deaf signers growing up. No thanks to the oralists who brainwashed me into believing that I was too smart for ASL and the Deaf community.

moondream · 03-27-2008, 07:40 PM

I regret going deaf, sure, it makes my difficult life even more difficult. But I'm certainly not ashamed of it. I was THRILLED to get hearing aids, it was a lot less embarrasing than saying, "huh?" all the time, and hardly anyone notices them anyway.

Much more, I regret my hearing loss was not caught much much sooner. It would have certainly affected my life for the better. It would have explained all those misunderstandings based on my not hearing a word correctly.

***VamPyroX*** · 03-27-2008, 07:41 PM

I don't really have any regrets, but I do often wonder with a bunch of "What if..." questions.

jillio · 03-27-2008, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twelphe

Is it strange to regret that you're deaf, missing out more than half in life all your life? For example, less struggle, frustration and stupidity. I'm not saying that I don't regret it. I was thinking if someone would think that as I'm thinking.

Do deaf people miss out on half of their lives?

Twelphe · 03-27-2008, 09:57 PM

I hardly ever heard of anyone who has... but good question though!

Should be proud to be a do-abler eh?

jillio · 03-27-2008, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twelphe

I hardly ever heard of anyone who has... but good question though!

Should be proud to be a do-abler eh?

Yeppers!

***Jolie77*** · 03-27-2008, 10:07 PM

Sure, I've had my share of regrets. I've made mistakes. There are times that I've wished I could have the power to turn the clock backwards to undo what I've done but, unfortunately you can't undo what you've done. The only thing I can say is to learn from it.

As for my deafness, I don't have any regrets with it. At some time, I've wondered what my life would be like if I were hearing. There's no question to this - It would have been totally different than it is now.

PuyoPiyo · 03-27-2008, 10:09 PM

Had been used to wear the hearing aids, but stopped, then tried the CI, but doesn't wear it often and doesn't regret anything to be Deaf. I am proudly being Deaf

GarnetTigerMom · 03-27-2008, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jolie_77

Sure, I've had my share of regrets. I've made mistakes. There are times that I've wished I could have the power to turn the clock backwards to undo what I've done but, unfortunately you can't undo what you've done. The only thing I can say is to learn from it.

As for my deafness, I don't have any regrets with it. At some time, I've wondered what my life would be like if I were hearing. There's no question to this - It would have been totally different than it is now.

I agree there, I wish I could turn back the hand of time. I think we all do. But I think writing about your regrets, feelings, and frustrations can help understand why you did what you did and how you can learn from your mistakes. I what I've been doing seems to help in some way. But take comfort in knowing that we've all made really huge mistakes! You're not alone. If you only knew all the skeletons in people's closets, you'd know that we all do things we seriously regret at times. But, this too will pass (as they say).

Pepsi · 03-27-2008, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I have regrets for looking down on ASL and Deaf signers growing up. No thanks to the oralists who brainwashed me into believing that I was too smart for ASL and the Deaf community.

I know what you mean,My mother had brainwashed me good.

Bebonang · 03-27-2008, 10:58 PM

I regret not being able to understand hearing people with an interpreters. That would be much better in my elementary school and high school years ago, if they should have make the request for an interpreters in the mainstream school. Yes, I was very angry with the Audists for putting me through difficult time. As for the hearing aid (only one I have in my left ear), I could hear the noise or sounds not clearly but hearing people expect me to hear and they are happy that I talked to family members and hearing people. I regret not be able to find something worthy of me doing like using my brain which I am smart and participate on the kind of job that I am capable of doing what I like best. I want to be smart like my sister who was a straight A student. I was jealous of her. Now I am just as proud of being Deaf and growing old gracefully and no regret. Only thing is to worry about the future of our Deaf generation before I am gone from this Earth.

Bebonang · 03-27-2008, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bebonang

I regret not being able to understand hearing people with an interpreters. That would be much better in my elementary school and high school years ago, if they should have make the request for an interpreters in the mainstream school. Yes, I was very angry with the Audists for putting me through difficult time. As for the hearing aid (only one I have in my left ear), I could hear the noise or sounds not clearly but hearing people expect me to hear and they are happy that I talked to family members and hearing people. I regret not be able to find something worthy of me doing like using my brain which I am smart and participate on the kind of job that I am capable of doing what I like best. I want to be smart like my sister who was a straight A student. I was jealous of her. Now I am just as proud of being Deaf and growing old gracefully and no regret. Only thing is to worry about the future of our Deaf generation before I am gone from this Earth.

Forgot to put the word in like I regret not being able to understand hearing people without an interpreters.

deafbajagal · 03-27-2008, 11:06 PM

I regret marrying the jerk I married. Wait...that doesn't have anything to do with deafness. Too bad! Since that's my biggest regret ever...I wish I could go back in time and erase that part. Oh well.

Pepsi · 03-28-2008, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

I regret marrying the jerk I married. Wait...that doesn't have anything to do with deafness. Too bad! Since that's my biggest regret ever...I wish I could go back in time and erase that part. Oh well.

I know where you are coming from because I feel the same way about the asshole I call my husband.

Chase · 03-28-2008, 09:47 AM

I regret this thread deteriorated to male-bashing.

deafskeptic · 03-28-2008, 09:55 AM

I have no regrets being deaf. While being deaf is not something I'd have chosen for myself, there's no point in wishing you could be something that you can't ever be. I am thankful that being around Deaf widened my views though.

I have a lot of regrets but being Deaf is not one of them. What's there to regret about being deaf?

sr171soars · 03-28-2008, 10:24 AM

I have never liked being deaf. However, I have learned a long time ago that I have to accept my lot in life and move on. So, I'm now fine with it and found that it has been beneficial to me in understanding people better (we all have our problems in life both those that are obvious and not so obvious).

So, my main regret is fighting acceptance of who and what I am. However, I will say due to that battle, I'm a better person. So, in that sense I don't regret it.

GarnetTigerMom · 03-28-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Do deaf people miss out on half of their lives?

I do believe that is possible that some deaf people do miss much out of their lives for being held back.

Twelphe · 03-28-2008, 05:49 PM

I always dream of playing drums. The real set. No regret for me not to hear it, I could play well with knowledge of sounds!

Babyblue · 03-28-2008, 06:13 PM

I do think of the past at times, but I don't regret it. It made me who I am today. I don't sit back and dwell one the could have, should have, would have, Ifs and all that stuff. I just think about what I have now. Live life, the best way I can.

03-27-2008, 08:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pepsi The One and Only Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 3,406	Do You Have Any Regrets? I got to thinking about this the other day. Have you ever had any regrets in the past on the way you felt about your hearing lost? This came to me, I remember when I was a teenager I would not wear my earrings because I was so ashamed of my hearing aids that if someone saw my earrings they would see the aids.I guess I was a stupid kid. Do you have any regrets on the way you felt in the past? Last edited by Pepsi; 03-27-2008 at 08:45 AM.

03-27-2008, 11:00 AM	#2 (permalink)
doh geek Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North America Posts: 311	I am more confident now in being forward with my hearing loss and asking people to repeat things and to not cover their mouth, etc... I wish I had learned to be so confident a while ago. If my hearing fails more in the future I'll not be ashamed. It's me! __________________ Monkey, killing monkey, killing monkey. Over pieces of the ground. Silly monkeys give them thumbs, They make a club. And beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery. Repugnant is a (not dismal) creature who would Squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here

03-27-2008, 01:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
JennyB Deaf and living my life! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 437	I wore hearing aids from when I was 2 until I was 12. When I was 12 I refused to wear them anymore because I was a vain pre-teen. I regret that choice in some ways, but it made me really improve my speech reading which is something I don't regret. 2 weeks ago when my hearing suddenly dropped from a mederatly severe-severe range to well within the profound range my hearing aids stopped working for me. I am still waiting for new hearing aids (MONDAY) without hearing aids I can't really hear anything. I heard a building being demolished when I was literally right beside it. That is the only sound I have really heard for the past two weeks. At first I wouldn't tell anyone about being Deaf because I didn't feel comfortable with it myself. It made going out very difficult and frustrating. Yesterday I was doing errands and I went to a college that I applied to to get some information from their access centre. I was trying to find the access centre and I asked the woman at the front desk where it was. She had an accent and I couldn't understand her. I told her I am Deaf and without thinking twice about she grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down everything for me. She did this for our whole conversation, reducing both of our frustration. I always carry a note book on me but I only use it with friends, it was amazing how much easier communication because once she knew. I guess my regret is not being confident and proud to be Deaf, because once I was communicating with people became much easier. __________________ Jenny~B http://journysofadeafgirl.blogspot.com/

03-27-2008, 05:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
nozobo Aries boi Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Downtown Posts: 3,940	I regret using hearing aids... they are pain in an ass to wear it cuz everybody expect you to H E A R and T A L K ... when will hearies wake up? __________________ My roots are planted in the past And though my life is changin' fast Who I am is who I wanna be...

03-27-2008, 05:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
GarnetTigerMom Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 4,862	It denpend on what sort of regret you are asking. But If I ever regret being deaf? No. But I don't enjoy being deaf, I accpeted that no matter what. Do I have regret of past relationships? yes I do. I have so many other regrets in my past and it hard to make them right. But we can't turn back the clock. I guess some of us are mainly scared and felt it would be too late. But I will tell you this, There is no such thing as a life without any regrets. However, regrets can become either burdens that interfere with your present happiness and restrict your future, or motivation to move forward. But you can ask for forgiveness and make amends. Apologize for any harm you may have caused others. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Be compassionate toward everyone involved. Accept the circumstances. Avoid blaming others but rather take responsibility for anything that you could have better handled. Last thing, Keep your situation in perspective. Remember that anything you've done is totally forgiveable, even though it may seem unforgiveable to you. __________________ GarnetTigerMom "The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I'm so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end." -- Robert Alan

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03-27-2008, 01:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Chase Premium Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,316	I have a strange regret. I don't enjoy being deaf, but since I am, I wish I'd become deaf sooner. I would have sooner seen "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" my sister suffered since birth, and would have been a better advocate for her and offered better support. I would be a better signer now and a better speechreader.

03-27-2008, 02:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cowpuppy Banned Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: On The Road Again Posts: 375	Sure lots....but have to forgive myself for past........only one I live with till I die probably. Not knowing that gal I listed in 'Introductions' I'm trying to find. oh well

03-27-2008, 04:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Twelphe Numb, bah Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 105	Is it strange to regret that you're deaf, missing out more than half in life all your life? For example, less struggle, frustration and stupidity. I'm not saying that I don't regret it. I was thinking if someone would think that as I'm thinking.

03-27-2008, 04:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
BelleSorrisa Dreamer Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 124	The only thing I regret is how I treated hearing folks back when I was in HS. When I "found" my deaf identity (from going to a deaf summer camp after all these years of never having a deaf friend) - I was angry that I didn't have the opportunity to socialize when I was young. I was angry at my family, my hearing teachers and hearing friends because I felt they didn't understand me (teen angst lol) but now I dont feel that way anymore. I just regret my attitude back then.

03-27-2008, 06:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 16,119 Blog Entries: 1	I have regrets for looking down on ASL and Deaf signers growing up. No thanks to the oralists who brainwashed me into believing that I was too smart for ASL and the Deaf community. __________________ ~Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

03-27-2008, 07:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
moondream Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: oregon Posts: 8	I regret going deaf, sure, it makes my difficult life even more difficult. But I'm certainly not ashamed of it. I was THRILLED to get hearing aids, it was a lot less embarrasing than saying, "huh?" all the time, and hardly anyone notices them anyway. Much more, I regret my hearing loss was not caught much much sooner. It would have certainly affected my life for the better. It would have explained all those misunderstandings based on my not hearing a word correctly.

03-27-2008, 07:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 27,844	I don't really have any regrets, but I do often wonder with a bunch of "What if..." questions. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

03-27-2008, 09:57 PM	#14 (permalink)
Twelphe Numb, bah Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 105	I hardly ever heard of anyone who has... but good question though! Should be proud to be a do-abler eh?

03-27-2008, 10:07 PM	#16 (permalink)
*Jolie77* Love all, trust a few. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 5,497	Sure, I've had my share of regrets. I've made mistakes. There are times that I've wished I could have the power to turn the clock backwards to undo what I've done but, unfortunately you can't undo what you've done. The only thing I can say is to learn from it. As for my deafness, I don't have any regrets with it. At some time, I've wondered what my life would be like if I were hearing. There's no question to this - It would have been totally different than it is now. __________________

03-27-2008, 10:09 PM	#17 (permalink)
PuyoPiyo My Property!! >:( Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Fourth Plain Village WA Posts: 5,140	Had been used to wear the hearing aids, but stopped, then tried the CI, but doesn't wear it often and doesn't regret anything to be Deaf. I am proudly being Deaf __________________

03-27-2008, 10:58 PM	#20 (permalink)
Bebonang Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manitoulin Island on Lake Huron in Canada Posts: 1,566	I regret not being able to understand hearing people with an interpreters. That would be much better in my elementary school and high school years ago, if they should have make the request for an interpreters in the mainstream school. Yes, I was very angry with the Audists for putting me through difficult time. As for the hearing aid (only one I have in my left ear), I could hear the noise or sounds not clearly but hearing people expect me to hear and they are happy that I talked to family members and hearing people. I regret not be able to find something worthy of me doing like using my brain which I am smart and participate on the kind of job that I am capable of doing what I like best. I want to be smart like my sister who was a straight A student. I was jealous of her. Now I am just as proud of being Deaf and growing old gracefully and no regret. Only thing is to worry about the future of our Deaf generation before I am gone from this Earth.

03-27-2008, 11:06 PM	#22 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 2,107	I regret marrying the jerk I married. Wait...that doesn't have anything to do with deafness. Too bad! Since that's my biggest regret ever...I wish I could go back in time and erase that part. Oh well.

03-28-2008, 09:47 AM	#24 (permalink)
Chase Premium Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,316	I regret this thread deteriorated to male-bashing.

03-28-2008, 09:55 AM	#25 (permalink)
deafskeptic AAACCK! I got BORGED! Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 2,450	I have no regrets being deaf. While being deaf is not something I'd have chosen for myself, there's no point in wishing you could be something that you can't ever be. I am thankful that being around Deaf widened my views though. I have a lot of regrets but being Deaf is not one of them. What's there to regret about being deaf? __________________ Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007. Activated on May 9th.

03-28-2008, 10:24 AM	#26 (permalink)
sr171soars Cyborg since March '05 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,376	I have never liked being deaf. However, I have learned a long time ago that I have to accept my lot in life and move on. So, I'm now fine with it and found that it has been beneficial to me in understanding people better (we all have our problems in life both those that are obvious and not so obvious). So, my main regret is fighting acceptance of who and what I am. However, I will say due to that battle, I'm a better person. So, in that sense I don't regret it. __________________ But trailing clouds of glory till He comes... Foolishness is not a virtue

03-28-2008, 05:49 PM	#28 (permalink)
Twelphe Numb, bah Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 105	I always dream of playing drums. The real set. No regret for me not to hear it, I could play well with knowledge of sounds!

03-28-2008, 06:13 PM	#29 (permalink)
Babyblue Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 1,550	I do think of the past at times, but I don't regret it. It made me who I am today. I don't sit back and dwell one the could have, should have, would have, Ifs and all that stuff. I just think about what I have now. Live life, the best way I can.