What Ticks You Off (Most) About Hearies? - Page 9

jillio · 04-18-2008, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DragonYoga

Mr. Holland's Opus made my mother cry because she could identify so much with what was happening.

How old is your son now, Jillio?

I'm so glad you stopped & backed up to rethink the decision. Your son will always be grateful. I know I still am.

My mom told me last semester that they tried the AV approach - I couldn't believe it. That would have NEVER worked with me, not with my profound to severe loss. I'm so glad they stopped!

She said the first sign book she bought was the Sesame Street sign language book with Linda Bove.

My son is now 22, and I also cried my way through Mr. Holland's Opus for the same reason. I still remember the first time my son saw Linda Bove on Sesame Street! He jumped up and down signing "Deaf...same me!" I also purchased that book, along with several children's books in sign from Gallaudet.

It would seem that we have very common backgrounds.

DragonYoga · 04-18-2008, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

My son is now 22, and I also cried my way through Mr. Holland's Opus for the same reason. I still remember the first time my son saw Linda Bove on Sesame Street! He jumped up and down signing "Deaf...same me!" I also purchased that book, along with several children's books in sign from Gallaudet.

It would seem that we have very common backgrounds.

I would agree!

Holly · 04-21-2008, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DragonYoga

Mr. Holland's Opus made my mother cry because she could identify so much with what was happening.

How old is your son now, Jillio?

I'm so glad you stopped & backed up to rethink the decision. Your son will always be grateful. I know I still am.

My mom told me last semester that they tried the AV approach - I couldn't believe it. That would have NEVER worked with me, not with my profound to severe loss. I'm so glad they stopped!

She said the first sign book she bought was the Sesame Street sign language book with Linda Bove.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

My son is now 22, and I also cried my way through Mr. Holland's Opus for the same reason. I still remember the first time my son saw Linda Bove on Sesame Street! He jumped up and down signing "Deaf...same me!" I also purchased that book, along with several children's books in sign from Gallaudet.

It would seem that we have very common backgrounds.

Oh gosh, I watched Mr. Holland's Opus a few days ago, first time I'd seen it since I was a kid. And for the first time, I actually got it! I started bawling when he was singing the song to his son Cole, "beautiful boy" or whatever it was called! ah...the tears came a flooding

jillio · 04-21-2008, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly

Oh gosh, I watched Mr. Holland's Opus a few days ago, first time I'd seen it since I was a kid. And for the first time, I actually got it! I started bawling when he was singing the song to his son Cole, "beautiful boy" or whatever it was called! ah...the tears came a flooding

Yes, it is a beautiful movie.

banshe333 · 04-21-2008, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

What ticks me off about hearies are:

When I tell them I'm deaf, their respond would be "Oh I'm sorry" and then walks off.

When some hearing parents refused to sign with their deaf children. (with or without the use of cochlear implants)

When some hearies shouts while talking to me, It doesn't make me hear any better when they're shouting--they're making me more deafer.

When some hearies turned their face away while talking to me, It's like hello? I have to read your lips.

When some hearies chew on their gum while talking to me, It's like watching a cow eating.

I am hearing. and I agree completely. especially with that "oh I'm sorry" line.
unfortunately most hearing people were never taught was is impolite in the deaf community. I was fortunate enough when i became involved in the community via my deaf children, I was assigned a Deaf roll model to help us with not only ASL but understanding what IS and ISN'T considered rude by deafies. I admit, I am still learning, but it really isnt hard to imagine what it's like to BE deaf. I know I wouldn't like any of those things.

Miss-Delectable · 04-21-2008, 11:05 PM

My mother loved Mr Holland's Opus too! She bought a video with caption soon after it came out.

I believe many parents of a deaf child can identify themselves with the parents in the film especially if they did the same thing e.g. AV approach then later switched over to sign language.

Dixie · 04-25-2008, 08:33 PM

Or your trying to speech read someone and they are mashing their words together to the point that its unintelligible. Its even bad enough that my hearing co-workers have to ask this person to repeat themselves.

And also when speech reading the person tends to bob or move their head from side to side. Uhm is it possible for you to hold your head still and talk at the same time???

InnocentOdion · 04-26-2008, 02:07 AM

Quote:

And also when speech reading the person tends to bob or move their head from side to side. Uhm is it possible for you to hold your head still and talk at the same time???

Lol!
This happens with a few of my friends. Apparently it's really common to move your head from side to side in some places, especially India. I think that their heads are just loose and need screwing on a bit tighter though.

What happens if you tell them to stop moving their head?

It annoys me when my hearing family talk to me, and they're looking away from me, or to the side. It's impossible for me to lipread someone looking away. Every time they do talk when they're facing away from me, they sound like they're mumbling as well. I swear they do it deliberately.

jillio · 04-26-2008, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InnocentOdion

Lol!
This happens with a few of my friends. Apparently it's really common to move your head from side to side in some places, especially India. I think that their heads are just loose and need screwing on a bit tighter though.

What happens if you tell them to stop moving their head?

It annoys me when my hearing family talk to me, and they're looking away from me, or to the side. It's impossible for me to lipread someone looking away. Every time they do talk when they're facing away from me, they sound like they're mumbling as well. I swear they do it deliberately.

LOL....like trying to speech read a bobble head!

skm4441 · 05-02-2008, 03:11 PM

Okay... Most of things posted here already bug me.

Especially:
1) When people say "nevermind" if i didn't understand them when they to speak to me. I can lipread VERY little...

2) I used to work at a grocery store, if a customer asks me for help, I'd say I'm sorry but I'm deaf (in a sign that people usually would understand) and then take out paper and a pen, they say "oh no, im fine" and walk away. it makes me wnat to go in the front of them and say "FUCK YOU!"

3) I was dating a girl who was fluent in sign language. Sometimes when we were with her friends, she would forget about me and talk with her hearing friends and I'd have to constantly ask her what she was talking about.

Other things I don't think have been mentioned yet...

1)When the television is too loud, a hearing person would just walk right in the front of the TV and turn down the volume then the captions get cut off.

2) When people say you are too sensitive or dont take it too personal. Believe me, I was not being too sensitive. It was related to my deafness.

Chase · 05-02-2008, 04:23 PM

SKM4441, yeah, all these things have been said over and over, but group therapy is often soothing and helpful for future encounters.

The bobbing head when someone is passionately affirmative throws me for a loop, too. I want to reach out and neck-brace someone.

All versions of the “never mind” are annoying. Even though I speech-read and can talk, I sign I’m deaf when I say it. I add that I can read most lips, but I often get the wave-off and “never mind.” A guy came into the apiary looking for a job. I went through my say ‘n’ sign, and his look of contempt was something when he said, “I’ll talk to the boss.” Ha ha ha ha. He went to both other workers asking who did the hiring, and they both pointed to me. It was fun to see the look on his face change. Some days are diamond; some days are stone. That was pure diamond.

Not too many listeners know that closed captions wink off during and after a volume change. One of the perks of subtitles for DVDs is that doesn’t happen (though you give up the words to most songs and the title of what’s playing). My problem is opposite of yours, as I keep volume at zero when alone, and visiting hearies turn it up and keep fooling with it. If it’s a DVD on, I switch to subtitles, but if not, I ask them to fiddle with volume during commercial breaks.

Yeah, well, people getting stung by hornets are too sensitive and take it too personally, too.

Here’s another sting that came back pointedly to the stinger: A week ago, a friend recommended I go to the eye doctor where she works. I wrote on the application that I don’t have a land-line phone but use e-mail and/or text phone for communications.

The receptionist slashed the alternates out and said, “All you people have free TTY phones, don’t you? We have to do this over.” When I finally figured out what she had barked, I knew “we” meant me, so I left and e-mailed my friend. I was e-mailed back by the doctor, himself, apologizing and asking me to return the next day for my first appointment. He assured me all communications would be by e-mail or the media of my choice. No one said why, but the first receptionist wasn't there. There was no charge for my appointment.

Holly · 05-02-2008, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

SKM4441, yeah, all these things have been said over and over, but group therapy is often soothing and helpful for future encounters.

The bobbing head when someone is passionately affirmative throws me for a loop, too. I want to reach out and neck-brace someone.

All versions of the “never mind” are annoying. Even though I speech-read and can talk, I sign I’m deaf when I say it. I add that I can read most lips, but I often get the wave-off and “never mind.” A guy came into the apiary looking for a job. I went through my say ‘n’ sign, and his look of contempt was something when he said, “I’ll talk to the boss.” Ha ha ha ha. He went to both other workers asking who did the hiring, and they both pointed to me. It was fun to see the look on his face change. Some days are diamond; some days are stone. That was pure diamond.

Not too many listeners know that closed captions wink off during and after a volume change. One of the perks of subtitles for DVDs is that doesn’t happen (though you give up the words to most songs and the title of what’s playing). My problem is opposite of yours, as I keep volume at zero when alone, and visiting hearies turn it up and keep fooling with it. If it’s a DVD on, I switch to subtitles, but if not, I ask them to fiddle with volume during commercial breaks.

Yeah, well, people getting stung by hornets are too sensitive and take it too personally, too.

Here’s another sting that came back pointedly to the stinger: A week ago, a friend recommended I go to the eye doctor where she works. I wrote on the application that I don’t have a land-line phone but use e-mail and/or text phone for communications.

The receptionist slashed the alternates out and said, “All you people have free TTY phones, don’t you? We have to do this over.” When I finally figured out what she had barked, I knew “we” meant me, so I left and e-mailed my friend. I was e-mailed back by the doctor, himself, apologizing and asking me to return the next day for my first appointment. He assured me all communications would be by e-mail or the media of my choice. No one said why, but the first receptionist wasn't there. There was no charge for my appointment.

Man, if your gonna be in some type of job where you deal with people, you need to be less ignorant!!

pbelschner · 05-03-2008, 12:32 PM

This was a very interesting read. I am somewhat new to deaf community. grew up with deaf mute neighbors and tried to learn sign, did good for a while until I moved away. Now business brings me back to deaf and hearing loss world. I will try to remember the tips here.
AquaBlue, thanks for asking a very good question....Paul

Etoile · 05-04-2008, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

One of the perks of subtitles for DVDs is that doesn’t happen (though you give up the words to most songs and the title of what’s playing).

I love when the language page shows "English for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing" or something like that. If it's just English, I know I'm getting most of the movie, but "English for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing" is much more complete information! I can hear the TV better now that I have HA's but I still rely on the captions. My wife doesn't mind the captions, but she's thrilled I don't have the volume way up anymore!

Etoile · 05-04-2008, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbelschner

This was a very interesting read. I am somewhat new to deaf community. grew up with deaf mute neighbors and tried to learn sign, did good for a while until I moved away. Now business brings me back to deaf and hearing loss world. I will try to remember the tips here.
AquaBlue, thanks for asking a very good question....Paul

Welcome Paul! You will find that many people don't like the term "deaf mute" because for most of us, it is inaccurate. Unless something has damaged their vocal cords, all deaf people can make sounds. Some prefer not to speak, but others can speak just fine, and some can speak so well, you'd never guess they were deaf! So "mute" isn't a very accurate or welcome term these days. You can just call us "deaf" and "hard of hearing" - nobody will be offended by that. Glad to see this thread has been helpful to you though!

deafbajagal · 05-04-2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

Or your trying to speech read someone and they are mashing their words together to the point that its unintelligible. Its even bad enough that my hearing co-workers have to ask this person to repeat themselves.

And also when speech reading the person tends to bob or move their head from side to side. Uhm is it possible for you to hold your head still and talk at the same time???

And don't you hate it when a person smiles while talking? Drives me crazy! I'm like - stop smiling!

Dixie · 05-04-2008, 09:52 PM

yes, I have a close friend of mine that does that but here's the thing - her smile is so addictive that you can't ask her to stop smiling yet it makes it harder to speech read. Am I weird or do I have a thing for smiles?

Matilda · 05-04-2008, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

And don't you hate it when a person smiles while talking? Drives me crazy! I'm like - stop smiling!

My 4 uncles do that ... it's so annoying!

jillio · 05-04-2008, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

yes, I have a close friend of mine that does that but here's the thing - her smile is so addictive that you can't ask her to stop smiling yet it makes it harder to speech read. Am I weird or do I have a thing for smiles?

Some people have a smile that is almost contagious. You just want to smile back because when they smile, their whole face lights up.

deafskeptic · 05-05-2008, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase

All versions of the “never mind” are annoying. Even though I speech-read and can talk, I sign I’m deaf when I say it. I add that I can read most lips, but I often get the wave-off and “never mind.” A guy came into the apiary looking for a job. I went through my say ‘n’ sign, and his look of contempt was something when he said, “I’ll talk to the boss.” Ha ha ha ha. He went to both other workers asking who did the hiring, and they both pointed to me. It was fun to see the look on his face change. Some days are diamond; some days are stone. That was pure diamond.

Ha, ha. I love stories like this one.

AlleyCat · 05-05-2008, 02:15 PM

Last night I was out playing bar poker. An older guy at the table noticed I was signing to my boyfriend (who was not playing.) This older guy then told everyone at the table there was a "deaf and dumb girl who doesn't speak". My boyfriend overheard that and told me what the older guy said so I looked right at this guy and told him I can speak just fine. His eyes just about bugged out and then he covered his mouth with his hand and tried to make me guess what he was saying. What an ass !!

Dixie · 05-05-2008, 03:57 PM

you should have just folded, stood up and said - I refuse to play with assholes like you. And then left.

AlleyCat · 05-05-2008, 04:04 PM

Oh, I told my boyfri

04-21-2008, 11:05 PM	#246 (permalink)
Miss-Delectable Capt Tony Nelson, Jeannie Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: No.1 Shopping Capital in Australia Posts: 8,080	My mother loved Mr Holland's Opus too! She bought a video with caption soon after it came out. I believe many parents of a deaf child can identify themselves with the parents in the film especially if they did the same thing e.g. AV approach then later switched over to sign language. __________________

05-05-2008, 02:15 PM	#261 (permalink)
AlleyCat Chicken in a Cat Suit Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 395	Last night I was out playing bar poker. An older guy at the table noticed I was signing to my boyfriend (who was not playing.) This older guy then told everyone at the table there was a "deaf and dumb girl who doesn't speak". My boyfriend overheard that and told me what the older guy said so I looked right at this guy and told him I can speak just fine. His eyes just about bugged out and then he covered his mouth with his hand and tried to make me guess what he was saying. What an ass !! __________________ Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Today
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05-02-2008, 03:11 PM	#250 (permalink)
skm4441 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Brockport, NY Posts: 45	Okay... Most of things posted here already bug me. Especially: 1) When people say "nevermind" if i didn't understand them when they to speak to me. I can lipread VERY little... 2) I used to work at a grocery store, if a customer asks me for help, I'd say I'm sorry but I'm deaf (in a sign that people usually would understand) and then take out paper and a pen, they say "oh no, im fine" and walk away. it makes me wnat to go in the front of them and say "FUCK YOU!" 3) I was dating a girl who was fluent in sign language. Sometimes when we were with her friends, she would forget about me and talk with her hearing friends and I'd have to constantly ask her what she was talking about. Other things I don't think have been mentioned yet... 1)When the television is too loud, a hearing person would just walk right in the front of the TV and turn down the volume then the captions get cut off. 2) When people say you are too sensitive or dont take it too personal. Believe me, I was not being too sensitive. It was related to my deafness.

05-02-2008, 04:23 PM	#251 (permalink)
Chase Retired on ex-mod pension Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Albany, Oregon Posts: 2,066	SKM4441, yeah, all these things have been said over and over, but group therapy is often soothing and helpful for future encounters. The bobbing head when someone is passionately affirmative throws me for a loop, too. I want to reach out and neck-brace someone. All versions of the “never mind” are annoying. Even though I speech-read and can talk, I sign I’m deaf when I say it. I add that I can read most lips, but I often get the wave-off and “never mind.” A guy came into the apiary looking for a job. I went through my say ‘n’ sign, and his look of contempt was something when he said, “I’ll talk to the boss.” Ha ha ha ha. He went to both other workers asking who did the hiring, and they both pointed to me. It was fun to see the look on his face change. Some days are diamond; some days are stone. That was pure diamond. Not too many listeners know that closed captions wink off during and after a volume change. One of the perks of subtitles for DVDs is that doesn’t happen (though you give up the words to most songs and the title of what’s playing). My problem is opposite of yours, as I keep volume at zero when alone, and visiting hearies turn it up and keep fooling with it. If it’s a DVD on, I switch to subtitles, but if not, I ask them to fiddle with volume during commercial breaks. Yeah, well, people getting stung by hornets are too sensitive and take it too personally, too. Here’s another sting that came back pointedly to the stinger: A week ago, a friend recommended I go to the eye doctor where she works. I wrote on the application that I don’t have a land-line phone but use e-mail and/or text phone for communications. The receptionist slashed the alternates out and said, “All you people have free TTY phones, don’t you? We have to do this over.” When I finally figured out what she had barked, I knew “we” meant me, so I left and e-mailed my friend. I was e-mailed back by the doctor, himself, apologizing and asking me to return the next day for my first appointment. He assured me all communications would be by e-mail or the media of my choice. No one said why, but the first receptionist wasn't there. There was no charge for my appointment.

05-03-2008, 12:32 PM	#253 (permalink)
pbelschner Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 3	This was a very interesting read. I am somewhat new to deaf community. grew up with deaf mute neighbors and tried to learn sign, did good for a while until I moved away. Now business brings me back to deaf and hearing loss world. I will try to remember the tips here. AquaBlue, thanks for asking a very good question....Paul

05-05-2008, 04:04 PM	#263 (permalink)
AlleyCat Chicken in a Cat Suit Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 395	Oh, I told my boyfri