What Ticks You Off (Most) About Hearies? - Page 7

Etoile · 04-01-2008, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raykat

Uuuuuuummmmmm...........Tadoma....explanation please as this seems to be a gap in my education

Tho I dont think too many people , I mean hearies, would even have a clue how Helen Keller communicated.

Tadoma is when a deaf-blind person puts their hand on a speaking person's lips, cheek, neck, and throat. It is kind of like "tactile lipreading" - feeling the shape of the mouth and movements of the inner speech organs.

It looks like this:

A real life picture:

It is not very common, I was just joking about that's what people are doing when they get close to you.

AquaBlue · 04-01-2008, 06:54 PM

I've seen it believe or not.

Raykat · 04-02-2008, 12:30 AM

This one takes a bit of beating......you would at least expect the receptionist at an audie centre to look at a deaf person when speaking!!!!!.......When I went for the CI switchon apt on Monday the receptionist did not look up once while speaking to me, just hung her head and mumbled. Luckily I was ready for this and just handed her my letter saying who I had to see. Then when I got to see the audie I told her and she wasnt too happy, said they had to do some more staff trainging . This is in a big govt clinic where both deaf and low vision patients go to one check in desk but I was like WTF.

Etoile · 04-02-2008, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raykat

This one takes a bit of beating......you would at least expect the receptionist at an audie centre to look at a deaf person when speaking!!!!!.......When I went for the CI switchon apt on Monday the receptionist did not look up once while speaking to me, just hung her head and mumbled. Luckily I was ready for this and just handed her my letter saying who I had to see. Then when I got to see the audie I told her and she wasnt too happy, said they had to do some more staff trainging . This is in a big govt clinic where both deaf and low vision patients go to one check in desk but I was like WTF.

Ooooh yes! How come more audiologists and speech therapists don't know sign? Even just a little bit? You would think that someone who works with d/hh people would learn even basic signs, just a little!

Secretblend · 04-02-2008, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etoile

Ooooh yes! How come more audiologists and speech therapists don't know sign? Even just a little bit? You would think that someone who works with d/hh people would learn even basic signs, just a little!

or would be a requirement to get a degree in college? One or two class of sign language. Weird that it is not part of the study in college.

NickCameron1031 · 04-02-2008, 09:15 AM

Geez where to start... My hearing boyfriend of nine years who refuses to learn to sign (I am not that good at it, but I get tired of lip reading all the time), walks away from me when he is talking and when I yell "WHAT?" at him he will say "Oh so you CAN hear me?" drives me crazy.

My parents for refusing to let me learn sign, mainstreaming me with all hearing kids, and forcing me to talk all the time. To this day no one in my family signs.

My all time favorite response from people when I tell them I am Deaf is "Oh but you talk so well..." GRRRRRRR That one burns me.

People who think we can't drive, cuss, have sex or that we are some charity case for them.

I hate this one too.

Scene: Any social event

Introductions happen like this which piss me off. Scenario one; I am introduced and the person introducing me will not tell anyone else i am Deaf. Or I am the DEAF friend, this is my DEAF friend Nick. Like Deaf Nick is my name. LOL I know petty right?

Pepsi · 04-02-2008, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickCameron1031

Geez where to start... My hearing boyfriend of nine years who refuses to learn to sign (I am not that good at it, but I get tired of lip reading all the time), walks away from me when he is talking and when I yell "WHAT?" at him he will say "Oh so you CAN hear me?" drives me crazy.

My parents for refusing to let me learn sign, mainstreaming me with all hearing kids, and forcing me to talk all the time. To this day no one in my family signs.

My all time favorite response from people when I tell them I am Deaf is "Oh but you talk so well..." GRRRRRRR That one burns me.

People who think we can't drive, cuss, have sex or that we are some charity case for them.

I hate this one too.

Scene: Any social event

Introductions happen like this which piss me off. Scenario one; I am introduced and the person introducing me will not tell anyone else i am Deaf. Or I am the DEAF friend, this is my DEAF friend Nick. Like Deaf Nick is my name. LOL I know petty right?

I got to put up with everything you said in this post also,except for talking. That is something I can't do very well( I got the deaf accent) Maybe someday things will get better for us.

NickCameron1031 · 04-02-2008, 10:42 AM

The "Can you hear me?" or "You CAN hear me" gets me the most. No I cant hear you but it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that you still talking as you walk away from me. One night i took the remote and kept hitting MUTE every few seconds and told him that is how it is for me when he walks away

Tousi · 04-02-2008, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Secretblend

or would be a requirement to get a degree in college? One or two class of sign language. Weird that it is not part of the study in college.

I think the vast majority of audies deal with hearing senior citizens whose hearing is going downhill. When they meet a truly deaf person, often they don't handle the situation well....

shel90 · 04-02-2008, 06:45 PM

Now, this is something that really pissssseeed me off big time...I already posted this in Neecy's thread abut misinformation about CIs but I will repost it here anyway...

My hubby's hearing coworkers told him yesterday that they respect deaf people who get implants cuz they are "fixing" their problem and dont understand why I wont get one. By saying that, they dont respect me and my husband was very deeply upset by that cuz they offended him by saying he is lying about how CIs do not make deaf people hearing like hearing people.

Now that got to be the champion of all that ticked me off about hearing people. I was sick to my stomach when my hubby told me that last night after he got off work. Is that how the general hearing population going to view us who dont have implants? What the hell?

Raykat · 04-02-2008, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tousi

I think the vast majority of audies deal with hearing senior citizens whose hearing is going downhill. When they meet a truly deaf person, often they don't handle the situation well....

My experience wasnt with the audie herself, rather the receptionist at medical clinic. This is the govt clinic where they do all the CI's for North Island so you would think all the staff would at least be aware that they are dealing with people who are either preparing for CI or waiting for switchon, which of course means total silence. The hearing therapist and audie are wonderful, no complaints there.

Tousi · 04-02-2008, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raykat

My experience wasnt with the audie herself, rather the receptionist at medical clinic. This is the govt clinic where they do all the CI's for North Island so you would think all the staff would at least be aware that they are dealing with people who are either preparing for CI or waiting for switchon, which of course means total silence. The hearing therapist and audie are wonderful, no complaints there.

I hear you; however, my experience is what I said above. If its any consolation, the audie I occasionally go to for normal hearing aid maintenance tells me that CI candidates go to someone else in our city who is more familiar with the device and the people who qualify for them.

cterry7799 · 04-06-2008, 12:00 PM

This is what I wrote to this hearing guy I was dating for a few weeks and then realized it was not working out. (I have a ci). It sums it up nicely for me.

"I want to be with someone that wants to communicae with me and will
put effort into doing that. I don't always want to
have to turn on the sound to have a conversation with
someone. It'd be really awesome if they knew sign
language or barring that, if they would sometimes
write down what they wanted to say. or even
less--maybe they could not bitch about how they can't
type on instant messenger or don't like to send text
messages on the phone. I am not being specific to you,
I am just saying in general this is the history I have
had. I am just tired of that. I would rather be a
whole person by herself then be with someone
that--because THEY can't communicate with me--ends up
making me feel like I owe them an apology for
inconveniencing them with my deafness."

His response was this(there was more but this is the best general idea of it): "you have the
right to expect people to make effort but you also have to be realistic. You can stay with deaf people and you'll feel 'at ease", but maybe eventually you 'll experience a different form of isolation."

Why do hearing people think we are all living in some prison of isolation that it is their job to free us from...not by signing or socializing with other deaf, but by "hearing" and "talking" to people that don't care to understand us anyway? Funny, my expectations are "unrealistic" to this guy. But before I had my ci 15 years ago I was with a hearing guy that wrote like almost everything for me. He used the old school tty relay service to communicate with me when we weren't together, always having to tell everything to a 3rd person. I imagine THAT hearing guy would've jumped for joy to type an instant message to me or send me a text message, instead of bitching about how they can't use their thumbs or how they aren't secretaries so they can't type. If I had known sign, I'm sure my hearing friend would've picked it up in a heart beat over writing everything down.

I even tried to get this hearie to understand that my ci is not always easiest option by pointing him to a ci simulator and had him listen. he only listened to it once, like he couldn't wait to turn it off. I finally asked him what he thought about it and he said...it was unintelligible, and quite stressful to listen to. But, still he can't get it. Oh well. On to bigger and better things right?

shel90 · 04-06-2008, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cterry7799

This is what I wrote to this hearing guy I was dating for a few weeks and then realized it was not working out. (I have a ci). It sums it up nicely for me.

"I want to be with someone that wants to communicae with me and will
put effort into doing that. I don't always want to
have to turn on the sound to have a conversation with
someone. It'd be really awesome if they knew sign
language or barring that, if they would sometimes
write down what they wanted to say. or even
less--maybe they could not bitch about how they can't
type on instant messenger or don't like to send text
messages on the phone. I am not being specific to you,
I am just saying in general this is the history I have
had. I am just tired of that. I would rather be a
whole person by herself then be with someone
that--because THEY can't communicate with me--ends up
making me feel like I owe them an apology for
inconveniencing them with my deafness."

His response was this(there was more but this is the best general idea of it): "you have the
right to expect people to make effort but you also have to be realistic. You can stay with deaf people and you'll feel 'at ease", but maybe eventually you 'll experience a different form of isolation."

Why do hearing people think we are all living in some prison of isolation that it is their job to free us from...not by signing or socializing with other deaf, but by "hearing" and "talking" to people that don't care to understand us anyway? Funny, my expectations are "unrealistic" to this guy. But before I had my ci 15 years ago I was with a hearing guy that wrote like almost everything for me. He used the old school tty relay service to communicate with me when we weren't together, always having to tell everything to a 3rd person. I imagine THAT hearing guy would've jumped for joy to type an instant message to me or send me a text message, instead of bitching about how they can't use their thumbs or how they aren't secretaries so they can't type. If I had known sign, I'm sure my hearing friend would've picked it up in a heart beat over writing everything down.

I even tried to get this hearie to understand that my ci is not always easiest option by pointing him to a ci simulator and had him listen. he only listened to it once, like he couldn't wait to turn it off. I finally asked him what he thought about it and he said...it was unintelligible, and quite stressful to listen to. But, still he can't get it. Oh well. On to bigger and better things right?

That's another thing that ticks me off about hearing people..they think all deaf people can hear like them with a CI and ask why we value ASL.

cterry7799 · 04-06-2008, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

That's another thing that ticks me off about hearing people..they think all deaf people can hear like them with a CI and ask why we value ASL.

Yea, I don't understand if I have more issues with my ci because i was born and lived with perfect hearing for 12 years and I know the difference. I wish I could hear (ya know like a hearing person hears) what the simulators are really like. I imagine they are pretty close, though, as most people I refer them to come away with a better understanding of what I hear, and what sound is like for me.

shel90 · 04-06-2008, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cterry7799

Yea, I don't understand if I have more issues with my ci because i was born and lived with perfect hearing for 12 years and I know the difference. I wish I could hear (ya know like a hearing person hears) what the simulators are really like. I imagine they are pretty close, though, as most people I refer them to come away with a better understanding of what I hear, and what sound is like for me.

I really wish you would come and talk to the parents of deaf babies and share your experiences cuz I am tired of this attitude ..."My child has a CI and my child can hear so no need for sign language. My child is fine with hearing peers only." Then, many of those children end up being referred to signing programs cuz they fell so far behind. Early intervention is the key, not late intervention.

cterry7799 · 04-06-2008, 02:17 PM

Shel90 I am new to this board- I don't know how to pm you or email you or whatever. My info is on my profile, can you maybe get in touch with me? i've been meaning to chat with you ever since my other ci thread where, I think jillio, said we might have lots to talk about.

IslandGal · 04-10-2008, 11:22 AM

I had a hearie saying to me "Wow, I am impressed that you know how to do this" when I placed an order online. Yea, like I was too dumb to know how to use a computer to order things

traciedowell · 04-10-2008, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notsobright

I not know about you. I have several coda friends and they are very good to me. and i have see other coda treat deafies like they are dumb. like we have no comon sense. same as other hearing people.

That's good that you have coda friends who are very good to you. It's a shame you have bad experiences with others.

I do my part to help the problem through my hearing students. And, yes, they do understand better.

notsobright · 04-10-2008, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by traciedowell

That's good that you have coda friends who are very good to you. It's a shame you have bad experiences with others.

I do my part to help the problem through my hearing students. And, yes, they do understand better.

thank you for understand and help.

KarissaMann05 · 04-10-2008, 02:27 PM

Other opinion, here, I hate it when those 'anti-deaf' people tried to stomp deafies' necks. If you know what I meant. =/

Chase · 04-10-2008, 03:18 PM

If some of you who are pretending to misunderstand Notsobright's ASL English (English as a second language) are really children of deaf adult(s), then you should be ashamed of yourselves. Notsobright has even tried to tell us he/she is getting help with writing in English, so you might cut him/her a little slack.

Even if Notsobright meant some CODAs treat their parents like dummies, and I'm not totally sure that's the case, it was never said that all did.

In defense of the case where some CODAs are nasty to their parents, my sister (deaf since birth and communicates by ASL) has four sons. Two of my nephews treat their mother and deaf uncle with utmost respect. Two are grown spoiled brats ashamed of us and continually talking down to us.

They also pretend to misunderstand an ASL speaker's writing.

traciedowell · 04-10-2008, 03:20 PM

I am truly sorry for my husband's words. He shouldn't have said those things and he knows it was wrong. He had no place posting here and I told him that.

It should not reflect on my business or the hardworking people on my team. Let's just get along please.

I have tried so hard to just use this forum as a means of socializing and getting advice. I found a great deal of support here with regards to my son and that situation. The people here were very nice to me and prayed for me and my family, especially my baby boy. I want to say thanks again to those people.

I asked my husband not to post here ever again and he agreed. Sorry about that.

traciedowell · 04-10-2008, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlaGal73

Notsobright,I think you are bright, alright. This happens to a lot of deaf people. I used to be part of deafcareer.com until I learned Mike's remarks and it really turned me off. I'm very happy to be part of MelaBuddies and I promise you will be, too.

I am truly sorry you were upset by my husband's remarks. I sincerely wish you the best with your team.

FlaGal73 · 04-10-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

04-01-2008, 06:54 PM	#182 (permalink)
AquaBlue ASL Student Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, Florida Posts: 1,378	I've seen it believe or not. __________________ Currently Reading: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski My Book List My Bipolar Page

04-02-2008, 12:30 AM	#183 (permalink)
Raykat Registered User Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Auckland New Zealand Posts: 277	This one takes a bit of beating......you would at least expect the receptionist at an audie centre to look at a deaf person when speaking!!!!!.......When I went for the CI switchon apt on Monday the receptionist did not look up once while speaking to me, just hung her head and mumbled. Luckily I was ready for this and just handed her my letter saying who I had to see. Then when I got to see the audie I told her and she wasnt too happy, said they had to do some more staff trainging . This is in a big govt clinic where both deaf and low vision patients go to one check in desk but I was like WTF. __________________ I'd rather be deaf than brain dead www.pindrop.org.nz

04-02-2008, 06:45 PM	#190 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 16,119 Blog Entries: 1	Now, this is something that really pissssseeed me off big time...I already posted this in Neecy's thread abut misinformation about CIs but I will repost it here anyway... My hubby's hearing coworkers told him yesterday that they respect deaf people who get implants cuz they are "fixing" their problem and dont understand why I wont get one. By saying that, they dont respect me and my husband was very deeply upset by that cuz they offended him by saying he is lying about how CIs do not make deaf people hearing like hearing people. Now that got to be the champion of all that ticked me off about hearing people. I was sick to my stomach when my hubby told me that last night after he got off work. Is that how the general hearing population going to view us who dont have implants? What the hell? __________________ ~Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

04-10-2008, 02:27 PM	#201 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 Jessie's Character Join Date: May 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 2,834 Blog Entries: 6	Other opinion, here, I hate it when those 'anti-deaf' people tried to stomp deafies' necks. If you know what I meant. =/ __________________ Credit by KarissaMann05

04-10-2008, 03:20 PM	#203 (permalink)
traciedowell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maryland Posts: 121	I am truly sorry for my husband's words. He shouldn't have said those things and he knows it was wrong. He had no place posting here and I told him that. It should not reflect on my business or the hardworking people on my team. Let's just get along please. I have tried so hard to just use this forum as a means of socializing and getting advice. I found a great deal of support here with regards to my son and that situation. The people here were very nice to me and prayed for me and my family, especially my baby boy. I want to say thanks again to those people. I asked my husband not to post here ever again and he agreed. Sorry about that. __________________ ~Tracie Dowell LifeMark Career Development http://www.deafcareer.com "For a few years I will set aside the time that most people won't so that I can live the rest of my life the way most people can't."

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

04-02-2008, 09:15 AM	#186 (permalink)
NickCameron1031 Waiting for CI activation Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Havre de Grace MD Posts: 167	Geez where to start... My hearing boyfriend of nine years who refuses to learn to sign (I am not that good at it, but I get tired of lip reading all the time), walks away from me when he is talking and when I yell "WHAT?" at him he will say "Oh so you CAN hear me?" drives me crazy. My parents for refusing to let me learn sign, mainstreaming me with all hearing kids, and forcing me to talk all the time. To this day no one in my family signs. My all time favorite response from people when I tell them I am Deaf is "Oh but you talk so well..." GRRRRRRR That one burns me. People who think we can't drive, cuss, have sex or that we are some charity case for them. I hate this one too. Scene: Any social event Introductions happen like this which piss me off. Scenario one; I am introduced and the person introducing me will not tell anyone else i am Deaf. Or I am the DEAF friend, this is my DEAF friend Nick. Like Deaf Nick is my name. LOL I know petty right?

04-02-2008, 10:42 AM	#188 (permalink)
NickCameron1031 Waiting for CI activation Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Havre de Grace MD Posts: 167	The "Can you hear me?" or "You CAN hear me" gets me the most. No I cant hear you but it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that you still talking as you walk away from me. One night i took the remote and kept hitting MUTE every few seconds and told him that is how it is for me when he walks away

04-06-2008, 12:00 PM	#193 (permalink)
cterry7799 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: CSUN Posts: 17	This is what I wrote to this hearing guy I was dating for a few weeks and then realized it was not working out. (I have a ci). It sums it up nicely for me. "I want to be with someone that wants to communicae with me and will put effort into doing that. I don't always want to have to turn on the sound to have a conversation with someone. It'd be really awesome if they knew sign language or barring that, if they would sometimes write down what they wanted to say. or even less--maybe they could not bitch about how they can't type on instant messenger or don't like to send text messages on the phone. I am not being specific to you, I am just saying in general this is the history I have had. I am just tired of that. I would rather be a whole person by herself then be with someone that--because THEY can't communicate with me--ends up making me feel like I owe them an apology for inconveniencing them with my deafness." His response was this(there was more but this is the best general idea of it): "you have the right to expect people to make effort but you also have to be realistic. You can stay with deaf people and you'll feel 'at ease", but maybe eventually you 'll experience a different form of isolation." Why do hearing people think we are all living in some prison of isolation that it is their job to free us from...not by signing or socializing with other deaf, but by "hearing" and "talking" to people that don't care to understand us anyway? Funny, my expectations are "unrealistic" to this guy. But before I had my ci 15 years ago I was with a hearing guy that wrote like almost everything for me. He used the old school tty relay service to communicate with me when we weren't together, always having to tell everything to a 3rd person. I imagine THAT hearing guy would've jumped for joy to type an instant message to me or send me a text message, instead of bitching about how they can't use their thumbs or how they aren't secretaries so they can't type. If I had known sign, I'm sure my hearing friend would've picked it up in a heart beat over writing everything down. I even tried to get this hearie to understand that my ci is not always easiest option by pointing him to a ci simulator and had him listen. he only listened to it once, like he couldn't wait to turn it off. I finally asked him what he thought about it and he said...it was unintelligible, and quite stressful to listen to. But, still he can't get it. Oh well. On to bigger and better things right?

04-06-2008, 02:17 PM	#197 (permalink)
cterry7799 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: CSUN Posts: 17	Shel90 I am new to this board- I don't know how to pm you or email you or whatever. My info is on my profile, can you maybe get in touch with me? i've been meaning to chat with you ever since my other ci thread where, I think jillio, said we might have lots to talk about.

04-10-2008, 11:22 AM	#198 (permalink)
IslandGal Hi ya! Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 4,323	I had a hearie saying to me "Wow, I am impressed that you know how to do this" when I placed an order online. Yea, like I was too dumb to know how to use a computer to order things

04-10-2008, 03:18 PM	#202 (permalink)
Chase Premium Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,316	If some of you who are pretending to misunderstand Notsobright's ASL English (English as a second language) are really children of deaf adult(s), then you should be ashamed of yourselves. Notsobright has even tried to tell us he/she is getting help with writing in English, so you might cut him/her a little slack. Even if Notsobright meant some CODAs treat their parents like dummies, and I'm not totally sure that's the case, it was never said that all did. In defense of the case where some CODAs are nasty to their parents, my sister (deaf since birth and communicates by ASL) has four sons. Two of my nephews treat their mother and deaf uncle with utmost respect. Two are grown spoiled brats ashamed of us and continually talking down to us. They also pretend to misunderstand an ASL speaker's writing.

04-10-2008, 04:43 PM	#205 (permalink)
FlaGal73 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Central Florida Posts: 12	Quote: