SJCSue

This is a huge issue at work for me. There are some customers do not respect me for the plain fact that I am hard of hearing. I am nice and very repsectful to these people. I try very hard to speak very clearly so everyone can understand my speech. There are some people who will not take the time to understand me. They just ignore me! These people are only a tiny percentage of my "customers". What should I do?

Deafness

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VamPyroX

Sometimes, there's nothing you can do because others are just too damn stubborn to respect you.

Perhaps, some patience might help. Don't give up. Move on.

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sequoias

I agree with VamPyroX, there isn't really anything to do to improve that situation. There are always stubborn customers that are not willing to communicate with deaf people. I've had those problems like that many times when I worked at Lowes and Home Depot.

pek1

This is compared to beating a dead cow. It will never happen, regardless of the ADA. Don't waste your time or energy on them, move on.

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Pete

Cheri

I'm with Vampy and Seq on this one. There's gotta be moody customers who doesn't have the time of the day for patience. Don't let that ruin your day.

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sillycat

Just dont take those jerks attitudes personally. All jobs that have to deal with the public everyday includes dealing people with shitty attitudes and lots of angry people, etc. Ive heard it is stressful at times but its best not to take it personally and pass on those jerks to your co-workers to deal with.

Angel

Yeah I'm with others on this, some customers are just too stubborn and not quite patient either....

I had my share of these customers before too, and once they find out I'm deaf, all I hear is " I'm sorry " and walked away.....I'm like O-kay....

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gnulinuxman

Everybody who posted before me is right. There is no way some people will ever accept you and want to respect you. All you can do is ignore them. It happens to everyone who is different, including autistics like me.

Interpretrator

Be as nice as you possibly can to them and hopefully they will recognize that they are being jerks. If not, at least you know you're not a jerk like they are.

Grummer

1. Well, aren't we just a ray of @#$%-ing sunshine?

2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

3. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

4. Do I look like a @#$%-ing people person?

5. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

6. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

7. You! Off my planet!!

8. Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

9. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

10. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

11. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

12. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

13. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

14. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

15. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

16. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

17. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

18. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

19. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

20. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

21. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

22. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

23. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

24. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

25. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

26. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 2?

27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

28. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."

29. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

30. Earth is full. Go home.

31. Is it time for your medication or mine?

32. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

33. I plead contemporary insanity.

34. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

35. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

36. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

37. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of @#$%.

40. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a @#$%.

41. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?

42. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

43. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

44. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

45. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

46. Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?

47. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.



hope this helps,
though i know there tons of difficult people out there i barely cope too, hell im starting to get around this one, we'd never know what goes on in other people's minds, they must be having miserable times too, sometimes humour does it

SJCSue

I try to forget about these people but it is hard at times because I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Grummer

I understand your concerns pretty well, and that 'dis-respecting' is a form of harrassment or objectionable behaviour (well I believe and it should nevertheless).
It could be grounds for such pushing a bill for law change to include a hearing disability aspect of ihow people dismiss communication with us in public, trading, or whatever the civil interactions takes place.

i know the feeling kind of, like you wish you know a 'magic' one solution to have handy to work on every one of these difficult situations.
I dont kid you, i wished (and still do) for this too.
what i suppose might be suggestable is that;
try find or recognise a 'pattern' in you 'listen' to them and catch them saying ' sorry you too fast or too quite' , but that's way too old and simplistic and cliqu'ed i mean like that's what EVERY 'well meaning hearing persons' says to us, they 'seemed' to think they know the solution, -truth is they friggen haven't a clue.

what I'd Like, its a 'class action' from all deafs around the 'world' or state or 'country' (i have jsut been watching a film "North Country" found it very good, even daring to say its inspirational..)
to some how put together a 'communication clause' for grounds of 'hearist harrassment', would love that.. but the thing is, we'd have to be SO careful not to misuse it, and i also wonder if it is feasible at all for such a clause to be placed.......

you got me going there, too early to dismiss the whole concept of 'anti-hearing harrassing deaf/Hoh people' policys......simply becuase it hasn;t been explored throughoutly yet, but id liken to say, at this rate of the 'mad politically-correct hoohah that lawyers loves, and such, chances are if we rant enough, we might get noticed...

Slightly off topic, how does OCD make it worse for you? did you mean it hard to ignore? (but) on the ohter hand I LIKE it how you paid so much attention as the fact you Brought this issue as a topic for further debate and insight ! thanks to your brillience, sometimes there's a silver linings in the clouds.....


But like i said, I understand your concerns completely, and 'dis-respecting' could be grounds for such pushing a bill for law change to include a hearing disability aspect of it,
im not a lawyer, nor a politician, I dont have any idea of how law works or how policy-making takes place, but yeah, you've initated its a very discussion point/thread here !


who knows?

cheers

Grummer

its could be a good thing to raise the public awareness profile for this whole concept of 'anti-hearing harrassing deaf/Hoh people' policys in this date of the 'mad politically-correct' radical changes we all witnessed coming from hoohah'ed loudly from these lawyers and popular politics that people loves or loathe, and with chance, if we rant enough, we might get noticed...

I might add, we may need to caution that for securing the most feasibility of this concept put into this sort of initiation to grow as a social policy, to develop and be implemented, the best place for it to start would be 'workplace policy' to begin with. The plus side of this , it is the most effective, since this is where formal duty takes action in mould of interpersonal communication.
the downside of this, not every business/company mioght be willing to follow suit.
so that's the delay but, this i suppose where politics comes into play, to make it go in the 'bigger picture'.....

SJCSue

Sometimes, my OCD does make it worse for me. I try to ignore the thoughts, which can be very hard to do!

I have noticed that it tends to be the same people over and over.

Grummer

thats normal in workplaces, people tend to work with the SAME people over and over.

If you were a photograher you would be seeing different people all the time, even different places.....

so yeah certains habits of force of situation goes with the territory.

if you're a GP doctor you see same paitents if not everyday, but maybe 4-5 times a years,and other paitents all the time.....
if you were a truck driver you;d see different places, same people?
airline pilots, gee, we might envy them ! they have the most variety, BUT same boring duty of flying the plane.....

jillio

I've always told my son, "You be as nice and respectful and tolerant as you are supposed to be. If people still treat you rude just because you are deaf, it has nothing to do with you. Some people are just ignorant and rude, and they are happy to be that way. You can't change them. Feel sorry for them, because their ignorance makes their life very small and dull.

marye

I'm sorry people who don't know you don't treat you with respect. Your concern shows that you are by far very worthy of their time and respect. Also, I commend your efforts to continue to treat them with respect. Perhaps, they might be afraid or embarassed about their own ignorance of how to work or interact with you. People are often afraid of what they don't understand and embarrased about their ignorance. Sometimes they just try to ignore it, unfortunately, that means they don't ususally get the priviledge of learning.

If, ond only if you want to, one way to respond to them and help them get to know you is to think about what helps you when you are embarrassed about something you don't know how to do.

Speaking as someone who is clumsy, unfocused and generally in a state of befuldement, I use humor to cope with my uneasiness and to let others share the humor in my clumsiness or lignorance. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Uptight folks might get more uptight or they might even giggle.

I have to credit a comedian I watched on TV back in the 80's. Jeri something. She had CP and a part of her routine was the something like, I know I am clumsy, I have CP (cerabal palsy) what's your excuse. She didn't say it in a rude or smart aleck way. Her words were gentle and spoken out of curiousity. It was hilarious. I decided she was very brave and a good role model for accepting our own idosyncricies. Please excuse my inability to spell. I'm lost without spell check and haven't figured that out yet. This is the first time I've participated in this type of chat or thread!
Blessings and Peace

ClearSky

I have dealth with people like that. They make me wanna punch them or shock them sometimes. I still have to learn to not let ignorant and rude people bother me. It is really their problem, and it is their embarrassement for not trying to be kind. I mean, who really looks stupid? Us or them ignoring someone who's trying to talk to them? Doesn't that sound childish when they ignore us? When they ignore you, just stop talking to them lol and pretend you never talked to them, I guess

starcharger

Even if you were hearing, you would have to deal with jerks---unfortunately that is part of dealing with the public. Not that it is any excuse, but some people don't even know how rude/stupid they are. Don't change your ways though; many people will appreciate your approach, and as for the ones who don't, as someone well said, move on.

Grummer

yes, there are jerks, stil thats no excuse for that my arguement is to voice, rant, demand certain condition into workplaces.

sorry no, i disagree i dont buy it, we shouldn't put up with that, no body should 'assumme' the 'everything's is normal' when suffering is real !, for an very good example WATCH the film "North Country" its a great example of 'how people should look pass the 'how things are' bullshit.

SJCSue indicated it as distressing, even distracting from work itself, this is a problem, and can well be also be a legal one. It hinderance to work performance actually place unnccessary costs upon the firm, as per distracted labour equates as inefficiency.
Hearing people have no right to set up deaf people as unreliable in workplaces, 'pushing them out', in form of pressuring, or signalling to them as worthless for ignoring is a form of ' silent harrassment'!!

It is the SAME as sexual harrassment on women in 'traditionally 'mens-only' workplaces, as highlighted in that film "North Country" I have mentioned .

if co-workers , collegues, etc ignores or a deaf/Deaf .hearing impaired person in workplace affecting the chain of commands or similar it in turn impairs work-performance which also can endanger their livihood (inability to maintain work standard, or to keep their jobs/rank/position)
That culprit (that annoying arrogant snotty hearie) being difficult should be reprimanded.

There should be some form of enforcement as expressed and clearly outlined in the company's policy. That would mean employees would be obliged to maintain the workplace as a safe environment for work.

Learn to speak up.


workplaces is too important for this kind of treatment we receive and it impairs the work, its NOT on !

dkf747

Some jobs you can do as suggested by everyone above. However, how about jobs where you have no choice but to deal with these people. Telling his boss he can't work with people like that would possibly get him fire or demoted, because he can't do the job required. What about a situation like that?

SJCSue

I forgot to mention especially when the non-food (cleaner, bug spray, mouth wash etc.) is place in the bag with the food items (cookies, cereal, crackers etc.)

GalaxyAngel

Depends customer have no patience communcation w/Deaf people or regluar trying to communcation w/other non-customer. Both are still same results no difference..

By the way, their loss!

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zookeeper4321

In my experience customers can be an ass no matter what your like or they are like. As to hearies unless they know a deaf person themselves they will never get it. I was never prejudice but I understood a lot more when I made my first deaf friend. Now that I have a deaf son and a HOH bf I learn more every day. Just know that if they have attitude and you don't, you are the better person.

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pek1

I nearly fell over laughing over this one, sure wish I could say that sometimes!!

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Pete

Grummer

sure, its not acceptable, even when its' widespread, and surely i can not say it would change over night, blunt sexism has whithered away, thought it still exist but not as much as so in workplaces, it is more subtle and risky for laws Has changed. The film "north country' was a true story that took place in 1972 which was a loong time ago in a time where it is NORMAL for women to take the shyte from men anywhere and especially in workplaces. In that 'story" north country - this women reasoned that she just want to go on with work and do the job without fear or being abused doing their jobs.
this is to say, if we start small (like they did, (well (the films woemn wasint in not a small firm, but big enought to rattle them and spread the revolution)
it would create a trend, and the future would have avery different , much safer , easier place for all deaf people (regardless of where in contiuuum or how deaf/hard of hearing you are, same basic discrimination, plight we receive are all nearly the same)
Sure it might not be right to start it where you work for now, but it has to start from somewhere. Everything takes time, nothing happens in a bang.

sure, thats true, but i dont buy it, even NOW, men still are impaitent or regard women as less, but they're a lot more careful now.....we could expect the similar tranformation in how customers approachs ANY places with more caution because of 'education' as in the changing equiette has demand emphasis to clarity in communication is in the level as respect.

TigerOkieGal

oh *chuckles* boy! I laugh read whole thing gosh I need it that

Fo'Shizzle

You DON'T teach hearing people to respect you... They have to respect YOU for who you are... If they don't then thats their problem and they weren't a friend of yours in the first place. P E R I O D!


But I can suggest you this, Be YOURSELF and enjoy life, friends will come to you or you can talk to more ppl more often and eventually you will find friends...



BTW at work I can tell you this people are pain in the asses BUT not all people are like that, there are most ppl are willing to work with HOH and deafies... Just take your time and ingore those who is rude, don't let them ruin your day... You will find them all over in this world, BUT there are TONS of nice people who helps and don't care about HOH/Deafies... Just think postive!

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Malfoyish

Respect is earned, not taught, or demanded of someone.

Part of the problem is awareness. When one does not understand where you are coming from, it's hard for them show another the respect they deserve. I fully believe this, but also see that today's society has gotten to the point where more and more people are seen practicing consideration for others and are becoming more respectful towards the needs of the deaf as well as any other person, disabled or not.

Your Mom

Watch the movie office space and realize, it could be worse. ; o)

I echo most everyones thoughts some people are just stubborn and rude, and no matter what you say or do they will insist on constantly being narrow minded and nit witted.

To be the devils advocate, sometimes people are rude and disrespectful and really dont intend to be or do such. Being confused or frustrated can often come off as being disrespectfull. Never the less, its not an excuse.