Respect and Communication between hearing and Deaf

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Thor

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Hello,


When a hearing person, who may not know very much sign language, is trying to communicate with a person who is part of the Deaf culture, what are 4 or 5 key things the hearing person should keep in mind so the person who is part of the Deaf culture feels respected? In what ways can the hearing person can be more helpful in their communication?

Thank you,
Thor
 
Imo

1. The deaf person is just that, A PERSON. If the person is an adult, treat him/her like one, as an equal human being. Their ears may be broken, but that doesn't mean anything else is, including their heart and brain.

2. Follow the deaf person's lead, but be willing to gesture, write, articulate your speech, and sign what you can. There isn't one right way, just be willing to be flexible. It is 10 minutes out of your day, but this is something a deaf person has to do constantly, every day.

3. Remember that eye contact is important. No matter how you are communicating, let them know why you are going to look away, if you do... If a hearing person comes up and starts speaking to you when a deaf person is in the middle of explaining something, try your best to let the deaf person finish their thought...really, the same as you would with any person, but realize that many people think it is totally okay to interrupt a signed conversation when they wouldn't interrupt a spoken one.

4. If you are in a group of hearing people with just one deaf person, and there is no intepreter, do your best to let the deaf person know what's going on. Again, writing, signing, whatever you need to do to communicate. If the deaf person asks a question, answer! Don't say "never mind" or "I'll tell you later".... never mind is just rude and you most likely won't remember exactly what you wanted to "tell them later."


There is a lot more than can be added to this, but here are some basics. Good luck!
 
signer16 said:
1. The deaf person is just that, A PERSON. If the person is an adult, treat him/her like one, as an equal human being. Their ears may be broken, but that doesn't mean anything else is, including their heart and brain.

2. Follow the deaf person's lead, but be willing to gesture, write, articulate your speech, and sign what you can. There isn't one right way, just be willing to be flexible. It is 10 minutes out of your day, but this is something a deaf person has to do constantly, every day.

3. Remember that eye contact is important. No matter how you are communicating, let them know why you are going to look away, if you do... If a hearing person comes up and starts speaking to you when a deaf person is in the middle of explaining something, try your best to let the deaf person finish their thought...really, the same as you would with any person, but realize that many people think it is totally okay to interrupt a signed conversation when they wouldn't interrupt a spoken one.

4. If you are in a group of hearing people with just one deaf person, and there is no intepreter, do your best to let the deaf person know what's going on. Again, writing, signing, whatever you need to do to communicate. If the deaf person asks a question, answer! Don't say "never mind" or "I'll tell you later".... never mind is just rude and you most likely won't remember exactly what you wanted to "tell them later."


There is a lot more than can be added to this, but here are some basics. Good luck!
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She/he said it all!
 
signer16 said:
1. The deaf person is just that, A PERSON. If the person is an adult, treat him/her like one, as an equal human being. Their ears may be broken, but that doesn't mean anything else is, including their heart and brain.

2. Follow the deaf person's lead, but be willing to gesture, write, articulate your speech, and sign what you can. There isn't one right way, just be willing to be flexible. It is 10 minutes out of your day, but this is something a deaf person has to do constantly, every day.

3. Remember that eye contact is important. No matter how you are communicating, let them know why you are going to look away, if you do... If a hearing person comes up and starts speaking to you when a deaf person is in the middle of explaining something, try your best to let the deaf person finish their thought...really, the same as you would with any person, but realize that many people think it is totally okay to interrupt a signed conversation when they wouldn't interrupt a spoken one.

4. If you are in a group of hearing people with just one deaf person, and there is no intepreter, do your best to let the deaf person know what's going on. Again, writing, signing, whatever you need to do to communicate. If the deaf person asks a question, answer! Don't say "never mind" or "I'll tell you later".... never mind is just rude and you most likely won't remember exactly what you wanted to "tell them later."


There is a lot more than can be added to this, but here are some basics. Good luck!
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good posting :)
 
All I can add-
To me - respectful is looking at me when speaking and when I am speaking, and being patient with me. In other words, being attentive.
Give me as much time as I need and do not hurry me. Do not be/look hurried either I don't like to feel like a nuisance.

When needed, provide a piece of paper and a pen/pencil.


Fuzzy
 
I'm hearing, but I would like to add some tips that helped me:

1. Don't be afraid to write it down. My deaf friends say that they are sick of hearing people who stretch their mouths around in weird shapes trying to get deaf people to understand them. They tell me they would rather see a hearing person write it down than overenunciating. ;)

2. Know your ABC's. If you can fingerspell, you can ask about signs for words, etc.

3. When in doubt about anything, ASK. Don't assume anything about deaf people--they are all different and often have very different communication preferences.

Other than that, signer16 has it covered.
 
Sometimes I wish hearing people let me write things down. I don't speak well and they don't always understand what I am trying to fingerspell/sign. They need to face the fact that sometimes they just will not understand what I am trying to say and just make things easier by letting me write it down when they can't understand me at all.
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
Sometimes I wish hearing people let me write things down. I don't speak well and they don't always understand what I am trying to fingerspell/sign. They need to face the fact that sometimes they just will not understand what I am trying to say and just make things easier by letting me write it down when they can't understand me at all.
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Well, I can offer an explanation (just an explanation, not an excuse) for why hearing people are that way. The truth is hearing people are brought up believing it is wrong or rude to ask people to write things down. I don't know why. I don't think that way, though. :dunno:
 
gnulinuxman said:
Well, I can offer an explanation (just an explanation, not an excuse) for why hearing people are that way. The truth is hearing people are brought up believing it is wrong or rude to ask people to write things down. I don't know why. I don't think that way, though. :dunno:
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No.

When I have a hard time getting them to understand what I am trying to say, I say, "let's write it down" and they say,"NO!".

They tell me, "we won't learn anything if you write it down."

Sheesh....how would they learn if they refuse to let me write down what I am trying to say and then show them the sign again....I still teach them...geez.
 
I am hearing and date a deaf man. So far we have had no problems cmmunicating. We write notes back and forth, and text message and talk on IM.
I feel very uncomfortable using sign because I feel so slow, and it is all so new to me. He does not push me to use sign and really does not teach me sign, I have learned about 100 words on my own using ASL dictionary.
I respect him and his deafness. Communication has not been an issue, but then again when it (love) is right it never is hear non hearing whatever!!!!
 
lisa lisa said:
I am hearing and date a deaf man. So far we have had no problems cmmunicating. We write notes back and forth, and text message and talk on IM.
I feel very uncomfortable using sign because I feel so slow, and it is all so new to me. He does not push me to use sign and really does not teach me sign, I have learned about 100 words on my own using ASL dictionary.
I respect him and his deafness. Communication has not been an issue, but then again when it (love) is right it never is hear non hearing whatever!!!!
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That's sweet!
 
Thank you Lucia.... it is sweet. I am having the time of my life with this man, so really his deafness is not an issue. I hope it never will be, and will work to keep the lines of communication open always.
 
signer16 said it very well. Thanks! ;)

Sometimes It's so hard to read hearing people's lips when they have a mustache and or beard that covers their mouth. My dad is one of those people that is hard to pick up at times. And not to have anything in your mouth (food, gum) when communicating face to face with deaf people. Properly positioned lighting helps with seeing lip reading clearly too. It's hard to read lips in the dark. :giggle:
 
gnulinuxman said:
Well, I can offer an explanation (just an explanation, not an excuse) for why hearing people are that way. The truth is hearing people are brought up believing it is wrong or rude to ask people to write things down. I don't know why. I don't think that way, though. :dunno:
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Speak for yourself, not the entire hearing population. I was not brought up that way nor do I agree with it. And I am hearing. :Owned:
 
It is my opinion that in this situation, the Deaf person is in control, and the hearing person should follow their lead. Never assume anything, let the Deaf person show you the best way to communicate for them. If it's signing, o.k. If it's write notes, o.k. If it's lipread and speech, o.k. What ever they want. And be open to learn. I've been signing for over 18 years. Still much I can learn. I'm happy if Deaf person corrects my sign. Helps me communicate better next time. Deaf people I have been in contact with are very patient and willing to help. They don't loose patience with me, and if don't understand me will ask, "Again?".
 
One thing I learned from an interpreter way back before I became one:

If you see a deaf person struggling to communicate with a hearing employee in a store, for example, don't just jump in and start interpreting. If you want to let them know you're available, ask the deaf person "Do you think he/she [meaning the hearing person] wants help communicating?" as opposed to "Do you need help?" I agree that phrasing it this way makes it seem less like you're saying "Poor little deaf person, surely you must need my mighty interpreting skills!" or something.

(And if this seems biased against the hearing person in the situation, consider that deaf people are far more used to and skilled at communicating with people who don't use their language, so if anyone is making the encounter difficult it probably IS the hearing person!)
 
Thank you all for your helpful responses and willingness to share.

Thor
 
Cheri said:
Properly positioned lighting helps with seeing lip reading clearly too. It's hard to read lips in the dark. :giggle:
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Tonight, I found the best method of getting peoples' lips lit in bars - sit in front of a neon sign, with them facing towards it and you facing away (or both facing sideways to it)! That made me so happy, heh.
 
Cheri said:
signer16 said it very well. Thanks! ;)

Sometimes It's so hard to read hearing people's lips when they have a mustache and or beard that covers their mouth. My dad is one of those people that is hard to pick up at times. And not to have anything in your mouth (food, gum) when communicating face to face with deaf people. Properly positioned lighting helps with seeing lip reading clearly too. It's hard to read lips in the dark. :giggle:
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Hey, you could have learn the tactile sign language that helps you to have the communication with the hands in the dark. It s fun thing to do tho. ;)

Remember lipreading is not actually for us to read their lip movement 100 percent.. Thats very reasonable for being deaf as is.. We do not hear everything with device anyhow. ;)

Sometimes I dont feel like to use my orally speaking because it s not me and also not comfortable with my throat that affects by orally speaking all the time.. It doesnt fit me right because I couldnt express my own true expression in orally speaking because it s more limited for me. I prefer to use ASL that is very natural for me.. Thats all to it.
 
Sweetmind said:
Hey, you could have learn the tactile sign language that helps you to have the communication with the hands in the dark. It s fun thing to do tho. ;)
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LOL, I and my childhood friend used to do tactile sign language at bedtime after my mom turns out the light...that way we keep on chatting and mom didn't know it! :giggle:
 
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