jshumko

Hello everyone,

I'm happy to have found this forum (Google search). I am a hearing person who has been married to a deaf man for six years. I started a blog about our experiences, and my perspective of what it is like to be deaf. The blog is at http://juliasrants.blogspot.com/

I've given the link to family and friends because most of them have had no other associations with deaf people. I want to help them, and anyone else who happens to read the blog, become more aware of what it is like for my deaf husband. You are welcome to post your comments.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I am reading.

Julia

Deafness

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kuifje75

Interesting, from a fellow Utahn, but a non-member, heh.
I am surprised about your Church posting. Why not go to a Deaf Ward? There are two in Salt Lake Valley, one in Ogden and one in Provo. I'm sure it will make things a lot easier.

jshumko

We attended the deaf ward in Salt Lake City after he was baptized. In fact, he was baptized at the Stake Center there. We live about 30 miles west of the city, so any deaf ward is kind of a long drive. I do not know why exactly but he no longer wants to go to the deaf ward. A few of the people in the hearing ward do understand his struggle and one man has at least learned how to finger spell. He has made some friends there so he is mostly comfortable, at least in Sacrament Meeting.

One time, when the Primary children put on a program, they signed one song. The leader said they did this just for him, and the children were excited to do it for him.

I have to tell you another story. One time, the Sacrament Meeting choruster bore her testimony in Fast and Testimony Meeting. She told everyone how much she loved watching me sign to my husband, and how wonderful it was, etc. I was flattered, but sinking in my seat. If she only knew. I sign basic phrases and lousy at that. She's never done that again, thankfully.

Interpretrator

Heh, this is a common story among interpreters -- the hearing non-signers who come up to you and tell you what an amazing job you did and how beautifully you sign. And somehow for me it always manages to be after I've done (in my opinion) a particularly bad job!

I look at it this way: these are people who know nothing about deaf culture or sign language, but are moved and interested by their exposure to it. Even if they have no idea what they're talking about -- this is still a positive thing! It may be ignorance, but it's also a kind of acceptance, of which there isn't enough in the world.

I wish you two luck.

Tousi

Way to go, Interpretator!!

jshumko

I agree that awareness and acceptance is good and she probably helped with that. Most of the people in Church are accepting, especially the children. I wonder though if the reason the leaders and teachers have not helped me much is because they are a little over confident in my abilities. How do you make them aware without sounding like you're whining?

Interpretrator

That's a really good question. In my situation I usually just grit my teeth and grin and say "thank you!" and try to forget about it. But if you think these people's misapprehensions are getting in the way of you getting more help, then yeah, it's time to be a little more proactive.

My suggestion would be as follows. Sit down with whoever you think needs to understand the situation better. Explain that there are differences between signers and interpreters. Point out the special training that interpreters go through which includes a certain amount of professional distance, something you don't have because you're interpreting for your husband.

You might explain that you don't get the full benefit of the religious experience because you are busy with the task of interpreting, and your husband doesn't because you are untrained. If you put it in the context of wanting to receive more out of your religious involvement (sorry, I'm not Mormon so don't really know how to put that), they might take notice.

You may well encounter the following statement well-known by beginning signers everywhere: "Oh, I can tell you sign well enough, we really don't need an interpreter." It's hard to argue with this because what you pretty much have to tell them is "You don't know what you're talking about." There's nothing for it but to be firm and inform them that you are not simply being modest, but you really are not qualified.

it probably doesn't help you much but you're in a pretty common situation for signers, especially in a situation where the ADA probably doesn't apply so you can't just fall back on that as your reason, and where most likely they will have to find an interpreter willing to volunteer his or her time. I hope things work out for you.

Aw, shucks.

jshumko

This is the best suggestion, and you put it very well. I added another entry to my blog today about church. I kind of unloaded on our poor unsuspecting First Counselor. I will be talking to our bishop sometime in the near future and it will be better to be calmer and more prepared.

They said at one time, they would find an interpreter who could do it as a calling (volunteer). I think they figured out we don't have any interpreters in our area. But there are things they can do to help us out if they can manage to keep them on their list of things to do (the bishop is a busy man). One suggestion I made was to give us a copy of the Christmas program when they have it ready. I'm sure I can come up with a few other things.

One thing I do NOT want to do is push my husband about church. People have done that to me, and pushed me out for a while. If he is not getting anything out of it, then he may not want to go at all and I wouldn't blame him.

You have been helpful for me, especially with telling me I'm not the only one who struggles with this. It eases my mind greatly. Thank you.

Etoile

LOL, yes yes yes! This happens to me sometimes too. I will have had a terrible day, did a terrible job interpreting, and somebody comes up to me and says "oh that was so wonderful!" I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.

Julia, I have added you to my blogroll, so you might see comments from me on your blog soon...nice to meet you.

krnaslterp

I am excited to delve into your blog...I have bookmarked it to read later when I have more time. I am hearing (an asl interpreter) and I have been happily married to a Deaf man for a little over 7 years. We have been together for almost 10 years. I am always interested in reading about and chatting about similar experiences.....drop me a line sometime (krnaslterp@aol.com) or im me....let's chat...

I have a blog too...on livejournal.....nothing too interesting on it yet.....

Kelly

jshumko

Thank you. It's nice to meet you also. I had a nice little chat with our bishop, gave him a list of things to do, and the link to my blog. He said he wants to know everything I'm willing to share.

Kelly, I will send you an email.

Right now it's almost 2006. They said on the news that we get an extra second of 2005 before the clock strikes midnight. I don't know if I can stay awake an extra second.

Happy New Year everyone!

ITPjohn

I found this after reading your replies in another thread. You mentioned being an interpreter for your husband during church services. Here's a link that could help you. It has a large section of religious signs.

www.aslpro.com

PS: Welcome to AD. Stick around and have fun.

jshumko

Thank you ITPjohn. (The link is on my blog

The LDS Church has quite a few video tapes, including a long list of signs that are unique to the Church. We have all of those tapes as well as a DVD of ASL hymns. I wouldn't be able to interpret anything for him without those unique signs. The Church itself provides plenty of resources for interpreters. The problem for me is I'm not an interpreter and getting people to understand that is difficult.

I had a nice long talk with someone from church tonight and we might be able to start a beginning Sign Language class if anyone at church is interested. My husband does not expect anyone to learn how to sign just for him, but I think that would be helpful for both of us and anyone else who wants to learn.

Thanks for the welcome. This is a great forum.