ChrisBbacon

Hi people,

I was reading a random post and saw that someone said they hate it when people say "nevermind".


That struck a cord with me. I really really really hate it when people say that. You're having a conversation, then you miss something and say pardon. Then you miss it again. You either say pardon again, and if the person is......not a close friend etc they'll either tut or say nevermind. Grrrrrrr, we're having a conversation here, don't cut it off mid-flow.

I hate people with a low tolerance who give up on you when you've said pardon more than once. Before gettin a hearing aid (my hearing degraded 16-18, now half as good as it should be) I used to get frustrated saying sorry/pardon/what? more than twice. I would just nod, even if I didn't get what they said. Dunno why I put that in the post, but I just get frustrated with peoples'......inexperience with deaf/ Hoh people.

Anyway, anyone else get annoyed with "nevermind"

Lets start a campaign to get it taken out of the dictionary



Chris

P.S. I'm so grateful for all the people who visit and post on this website, its great having people to talk to who understand exactly what you're going through.

Deafness

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SherryCherish

Never mind! lolz j/k, well sometime i say that when i forget.. I would say never mind. sometime i don't like when people try to tell me but they won't deny. U know.

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iamcute

i totally agree with this, but i am a little guilty as well. sometimes, i would say something really stupid to my hoh friend.. and he would be like "what", then i'd be like.. never mind... but he does it to me too... cuz i am just slow period. but we're really comfortable with each other, so we either brush it off or force it out on each other... as far as other people, i think it's important that we repeat ourselves, b/c i myself hate being in that situation where i just nod my head, and i don't really know what's going on.

tegumi

Ahhh.... the "n" word.

I use to say nevermind alot, without even thinking about it to my hearing and my deaf friends. I myself am hearing, and I still find myself saying it alot to my hearing friends, especially when they just dont get it, like when I am telling a joke.

Now, I try my hardest to not say "nevermind" to my deaf friends, and have only caught myself doing in once or twice in the last couple of months. The way I feel, telling a deaf person "nevermind" just because they didnt catch what you said, is basically like saying "im not going to waste my time on you making sure you get the point."

sevendaisy

I HATE the word nevermind. I vote to get rid of it.

DeafMommy0407

I say it all the time and ppl say it to me all the time. Sometimes that annoys me, sometimes it doesnt. So I am just used to it. That is just me.

moonflower

i always say nevermind cuz sometimes ppl not get it or i can't get what they are really try to say

oh well i not care about that word i ingore it

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Lantana

Being "you" is not always acceptable. Trust me.

Saying "nevermind" to a deaf person who is having a problem understanding the conversation is the ultimate insult.

Everyone has a "handicap" of some kind and believe me many of us need to take a good look at our own tolerance of those who are less fortunate than ourselves.

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"The best things in life are not things."

Momoftwo

Saying "nevermind" is VERY RUDE!!!!! When someone says the word, "nevermind", it means that this person has no patience with the person who can't understand what this person is saying. (tsk, tsk, tsk)

Momoftwo

gnarlydorkette

"Nevermind" is not the only one...

"Forget it", "I will explain it to you later" (and they never did!) and the infamous sigh-and-rolling-eyes.

People are SO spoiled. They think they don't need to put efforts in communication or understanding. No wonder the world is in ruins-- everybody is saying "never mind" or rolling her/his eyes because a person just don't get what you just say or explain to them.

Have some compassion. It won't kill you to take few seconds to clarify what you just said. just a FEW SECONDS.

sevendaisy

or how about when you ask a person to repeat what they said and they just give you the look like you are an alien who just suddenly landed in front of them? or they totally ignore you. or you ask them to repeat and they only repeat part of what was said. people can be so rude!!

AJ

i am so damn happy u made this thread my friend...because u know what???? i too..............nevermind.

apathrev

I must admit. I'm guilty of constantly using this phrase. In fact, its almost routine for me. I can't help it sometimes. I just get frustrated with constantly repeating myself. I've been the victim of this brush off before, too, and know its not fun. I always try to come back and explain myself better. This most often occurs with me when an interruption occurs, such as when I am at work, and a call comes up.

apathrev

To some people, seconds are hours, and to others, seconds make all the difference.

Mookie

What the heck are you talking about....oh never mind...

apathrev

My ignore list Me

Mookie

your ignore list does not work since you already replied.....

VamPyroX

I think it should be left alone. I use it from time to time.

What else would you have preferred that other person to say instead of "nevermind"?

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Mookie

I do really not understand what you are talking about? Never mind....

ChrisBbacon

Thx for the replies.


In response to gnarlydorkette, I think "nevermind", "i'll tell you later" etc. are just different ways of saying the same thing. Its just ignorance and inexperience with deaf people. Anyone who says that to a deaf person is vain and ignorant to the millions of people who are deaf, whatever degree, around the world.


In response to VamPyrox, I would rather repeat myself again than to hear you say "nevermind". Yes, its ok in some circumstances, but not with HoH people. Whats so hard about repeating yourself just one more time?

Lastly, some people have typed a sentence (e.g. mld4ds, AJ) and put nevermind at the end. Is this an attempt at a joke? If so, its a really really bad one. Are you trying to make a point? just wonderin.



Chris

Teresh

Having read several m1ld4s posts, I can safely allege that he is under the age of 15, is an idiot, and if he is hearing is a troll. In person, he has no friends, deaf or hearing, and he has to go on online forums (specifically, not well-known ones) to feel as though he's cool by harrassing other people.

It's not my fault you've been banned from every major forum online at least once. It's not my fault you don't have any friends. It's not my fault you are horribly misinformed about the topics you attempt to discuss. Develop a sense of humour. Stop wasting AD server space. Your unintelligence is not worthy of the few kilobytes your text takes up.



On the subject at hand, I HATE 'nevermind'... But I acknowledge that I've used it in the case where the person doesn't know about the topic... They can't understand because the don't have any background in the subject.

ChrisBbacon

here here

iamcute

I did it a couple of times today to my friend... "never mind", and "nothing"....
aww.. i felt so bad... *sniff*... but he's ok.... he knocked me out in return.

apathrev

I ended up doing this again tonight while at work. I quickly apologized to my coworker. She was actually confused as to what I was apologizing for.

signer16

Ah yes, "never mind." Did you notice how that sign doesn't have a conceptual equivalent in ASL? There is a reason for this.
In hearing culture, people say never mind when someone really doesn't get something, or they have missed out on a large part of a conversation and it would be difficult to fill them in on everything. We also use it occasionally to purposefully leave someone out, when we are gossiping or joking or something. BECAUSE hearing people generally get most information, missing out on a little bit with a "never mind" is acceptable.
Obviously, deaf/hoh people miss a lot of what hearing people are saying because they can't hear them. They're often left out at the dinner table, at meetings, at parties. Never mind is used by people who don't want to explain to the deaf/hoh person what's happening, they aren't willing to communicate, and especially when a deaf/hoh person is missing the majority of the conversation, this is frustrating! the reason "never mind" is considered such a bad thing in deaf culture is because deaf/hoh people get it all the time and often miss vital information. When you live in a world where you can't easily communicate with most people, obviously all communication is more valued!

signer16

I used to use never mind with hearing friends all the time. When I started learning sign, I quickly learned that the phrase "never mind" was inappropriate to use with deaf people, for cultural reasons, and I rarely use it.
If I am in a group with a deaf person, and he/she asks me to repeat what someone said, (spoken or signed, things get missed) I always repeat it. When there is a large group of hearing people talking, and someone deaf is there without an interpreter, I always try to AT LEAST give an abbreviated version of what's going on, and I will answer any questions I can. I get how it is to not be able to communicate, I facilitate communication the best I can.
If I am in a one-on-one situation with a deaf person and I sign something unimportant and they miss it, I will occasionally say never mind. However, if they ask me to repeat it, however stupid, I will.
Something interesting I've noticed is that when hearing people miss something and ask "what'd they say" and other people say never mind, the hearing person is a little frustrated too. If I repeat the information to hearing people, they are usually very appreciative. But, "never mind" does NOT have the same connotation in hearing culture that it does it deaf culture.
To answer the original question, I don't think the phrase "never mind" should be erased from the English dictionary because it will just be replaced with another word. It should, however, be erased in any form from any signed language. Instead of being a taboo word there could just be no word at all.

dkf747

The "abbreviated version" often ticks me off too. I want to know what was said. Even worse, is when someone doesn't repeat what was said, but instead tries to explain things in a simpler manner because they think we're stupid or something.
Just repeat what was said and I'll figure it out myself, thnk you.

Mookie

Hey Teresh and ChrisBBaron, too....

I have to say something

signer16

Dkf, I totally agree. When it is at all possible I prefer to give a total "interpretation" of everything that's being said, etc. This happens when any of my friends miss something, but especially with my deaf friends, (understandably). Sometimes though, with a big group, if the person wasn't in the room for everything, or if I am involved in the conversation, it isn't possible. I'm also not an interpreter, still a student, so sometimes even without other problems, I just don't have the skill or speed. But yes, my goal is to give all the information. I don't abbreviate because I think someone is stupid, but because I can't convey it all.

tegumi

I thought that was the sign for whatever....