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Old 10-24-2005, 02:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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18 and deaf, help!!

Hi everybody,

I'm an 18 year old guy from the UK.

I developed partial hearing loss in the last 4 years (runs in the family). I survived school by saying "what" many a time, being quiet and good friends. I decided to get a proper hearing assessment this summer and the results showed that I hear 1/2 what I should hear, which was quite a shock. I have just recieved 2 hearing aids (half to full shell) and have begun the first two weeks of "testing".

As I said, I am 18. Growing up, I always hoped that I wouldn't be deaf for at least another 30 years, but now I'm a young guy who wants to do all the normal stuff that young people do, but am hindered by being deaf. I have survived by not having the best conversations, having the tv up loud etc.

The situation has become more influential now that I have just begun university. Without hearing aids, I can't sit anywhere but the front of the lecture theatre to hear properly. I can survive without hearing aids (i.e. I don't want people to think that I'm completely deaf and someone who should be avoided).

I have made friends at uni (its my third week here) but they are not good enough friends (and I have not known them for long enough) to be sure that they'll understand me wearing hearing aids. I don't want them to be immature (which I'm sure there'll be 1 or 2) and I just want to lead a normal life.

I admit that I'm afraid of being embarassed and having a different relationship with friends than I would if I wasn't deaf.


I don't know why I'm writing on this forum except that I need some reassurance. Are there any other young partially deaf people out there? how are they coping? have you been in my situation?

I've read some of the posts and you all seem like really good people so I'm hoping I'll get a few replies to this and some attached advice.


Thanx for listening
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Old 10-24-2005, 02:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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1. learn sign language in your area.

2. get a close caption for your tv.

3. request help outside your home. Dunno about your area.

4. get involved with the deaf social and learn something from them.

I wish I could help you more but that all I can think of right now.

Good luck!!
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Old 10-24-2005, 05:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Couldn't have said it better pom
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Old 10-25-2005, 12:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Just finding out you are deaf at 18 years old can be hard, but its not the end of the world. There are many other deaf people in the world and they all overcome the deafness and still went on with life and have a great life. I am sure you will be one of them. At first it may be difficult but just be yourself and make friends who like you for who you are, not because you can hear. So therefore if they dont like you because you are deaf, that shows that they are noti your true friends and dont have anything better to do than trying to include you in their life.
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Old 10-25-2005, 09:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Chris!
Are there any resources for late deafened folks over in the UK?
I deffy think that LD folks can benifit from traditonal DHH services, but the needs of someone who went dhh, are probaly different from those who have been dhh all or most of their lives.
Hearing aids rawk. I know it's hard to accept them, especially as a teen....but college is just so different from high school. A lot of the losers who would have teased you have been weeded out.
Learn BSL....it's a lot of fun.....but just a word of advice. Unfortuntly a lot of Oral deaf folks over there have really lorded the advantages of oralism over Deaf folks, so Deaf folks tend to be rather.....gun-shy about mixing in with those with oral skills....but tell the Deaf folks that you're late-deafened....not nessarily a stuck-up oralist type.
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Old 10-26-2005, 11:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Deafdyke,

Sorry, could you explain what DHH and BSL (basic sign language?) stand for? Am I a late deafened person?

Yea, there are resources for people like me in the UK.

Another thing I've noticed from people's replies is that I (slightly unconsciously) retract from being considered totally deaf. As I have had 16 or 17 years of normal hearing, I guess I'm finding it hard to accept that I am deaf, considerably so, and that I will be for the rest of the life. I don't know if I could join deaf groups etc. because I still think of myself as a normal-hearing and I guess I want to hang on to that world and not (this will sound wrong, but I think its what I'm feeling inside) be associated with people with full/ nearly full deafness.

But I will consider strongly learning sign-language, because it would be fun and useful.



Thx

Chris
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Old 10-26-2005, 04:26 PM   #7 (permalink)
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hey dude! deafness is just a sensory loss, and I am 19, born deaf, but I was raised in the hearing world. Coping with deafness can be very difficult, but we're just human beings but people out there needs to stop ignoring the disabled world and start learning from them.
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Old 10-26-2005, 07:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomeranian
1. learn sign language in your area.

2. get a close caption for your tv.

3. request help outside your home. Dunno about your area.

4. get involved with the deaf social and learn something from them.

I wish I could help you more but that all I can think of right now.

Good luck!!
Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBbacon
Sorry, could you explain what DHH and BSL (basic sign language?) stand for? Am I a late deafened person?
DHH is an abbreviation for deaf/hard of hearing. BSL is the acronym for British Sign Language (as opposed to ASL, American Sign Language, LSF, French Sign Language, and other assorted sign language acronyms). If you became dhh during your life, then yes, you are 'late deafened'...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBbacon
Another thing I've noticed from people's replies is that I (slightly unconsciously) retract from being considered totally deaf.
Even though physically I'm really hard of hearing (my hearing may even be a little better than yours), as a student of RIT, if I say what more than once people immediately assume that I'm deaf, so I've become accustomed to having the word applied to me, true or not, and inevitably when talking with hearing people, it's often easier to just say I'm deaf than try to explain my ability to hear some stuff but not others...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBbacon
As I have had 16 or 17 years of normal hearing, I guess I'm finding it hard to accept that I am deaf, considerably so, and that I will be for the rest of the life. I don't know if I could join deaf groups etc. because I still think of myself as a normal-hearing and I guess I want to hang on to that world and not (this will sound wrong, but I think its what I'm feeling inside) be associated with people with full/ nearly full deafness.
It takes a long time to be comfortable around deaf people if you were raised 'hearing' (whether you were hearing at the time is another matter entirely). Oral deaf people have this same issue as hearing people... Takes time to get used to it. I've found that it's been for the better for me, but it took a good year to be OK with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBbacon
But I will consider strongly learning sign-language, because it would be fun and useful.
Absolutely.



By the way, I'm an 18 (almost 19) hard of hearing American attending university... So yeah, I fit in the same box you do (or almost, given the different nationalities).
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Old 10-26-2005, 08:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks Teresh!
Yeah, you'd be considered late-deafened. I think most dhh who lost their hearing during teens or adult years would be labeled as late deafened.
But you're also prevocationally dhh, which puts you in a little different sittuion then an old person losing their hearing. However, it's GREAT that you're openminded about options! I mean the Hearing Health 101 approach can get really old and really boring really fast. The cultural approach is a lot more interesting, I gotta say.
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Old 10-26-2005, 10:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBbacon
Hi everybody,

I'm an 18 year old guy from the UK.

I developed partial hearing loss in the last 4 years (runs in the family). I survived school by saying "what" many a time, being quiet and good friends. I decided to get a proper hearing assessment this summer and the results showed that I hear 1/2 what I should hear, which was quite a shock. I have just recieved 2 hearing aids (half to full shell) and have begun the first two weeks of "testing".

As I said, I am 18. Growing up, I always hoped that I wouldn't be deaf for at least another 30 years, but now I'm a young guy who wants to do all the normal stuff that young people do, but am hindered by being deaf. I have survived by not having the best conversations, having the tv up loud etc.

The situation has become more influential now that I have just begun university. Without hearing aids, I can't sit anywhere but the front of the lecture theatre to hear properly. I can survive without hearing aids (i.e. I don't want people to think that I'm completely deaf and someone who should be avoided).

I have made friends at uni (its my third week here) but they are not good enough friends (and I have not known them for long enough) to be sure that they'll understand me wearing hearing aids. I don't want them to be immature (which I'm sure there'll be 1 or 2) and I just want to lead a normal life.

I admit that I'm afraid of being embarassed and having a different relationship with friends than I would if I wasn't deaf.


I don't know why I'm writing on this forum except that I need some reassurance. Are there any other young partially deaf people out there? how are they coping? have you been in my situation?

I've read some of the posts and you all seem like really good people so I'm hoping I'll get a few replies to this and some attached advice.


Thanx for listening

You're a lot like me!! i'm 20, in my first year of uni, and am HOH. I have been HOH since i was a kid, but it wasn't anything that needed to be treated coz it wasn't that bad. Until i got sick at 17, the meds i was on killed the nerves in my ears (otoxic, watch out for meds!!) lol and my hearing loss is 70%. I wear HA's too. All my new uni friends know about it and they don't have a prob with it at all. I think once you learn to accept it (which can take a while) the more you become comfortable with it. If you're cool with it, other's will be too I have a bf and he knows all about my hearing issues, and actually, when we first met he didn't even notice. Feel free to PM me anytime
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