Grayma

? And then there are the cranky people who jump to false conclusions. I wasn't upset, and I made that clear.

I wanted to know if this was a cultural issue or something specific to the person. I needed to know. You don't know the back story and should not have jumped to erroneous conclusions.

Deafness

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Grayma

I don't think blunt is necessarily a bad thing.

Bottesini

I don't really care. I didn't know there was a rule on how I should reach my conclusions.

You shouldn't lecture me...

This is one of the most ridiculous posts I have bothered to respond to.

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Bottesini

And for the record ,, you silly, superior thinking woman, I am certain your one deaf friend asked your daughter.

It isn't rocket science to know all about you.

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Mimsy

This! LOL

I think the video was an exaggeration, but I get the point. I've seen here on alldeaf many times that Deaf are blunt and just say it as they feel it.

BUT ladies are definitely more mannered than men, deaf or hearing!

Mimsy

This is something I like about deaf people. It reminds me when I was in elementary school I would often get in trouble with my teachers for "not being respectful" and I never understood why they would say that about me. I was finally told that I need to be more tactful (= not so blunt).

For example, one teacher made a mistake on the blackboard, I raised my hand and told her she made a mistake. Not in a smartass way, just plainly. a note was sent home to my parents for my bad behavior. The teacher said I should have told her "I think there may be an error, Mrs. Smith".

Jiro

If I were your parent, I'd ask you to give a note back to your teacher - "You are still wrong, Mrs. Smith."

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DeafBadger

Personally, I don't have a problem being blunt in most cases. If you ask a direct question, I will usually give my honest opinion. But sometimes people don't want to hear it. Pretty sure some hearing folks don't like to hear it so bluntly.

Diplomacy is built around the concept of tact and allowing the other person to move to your point of view, or to a compromise while saving face.

In hearing culture, bluntness can embarrass people. Tact allows people to save face, and people can appreciate, remember it and help you out later on. I think that may be what it boils down to.

I've tried to be tactful, but hey, I tend to call things as I see it. *shrugs*

That said, I'm talking about my own perspective here. I don't have a lot of experience in the deaf community yet.

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Bebonang

The video is really not making any sense here and very ridiculous. On the last end of the video, he said "that is Deaf Culture" when he was combining with ASL and talking with voice. The Deaf way is Deaf Culture which mean ASL, but we are very blunt when we tell hearing people our deaf perspective. I have asked my principal for ASL interpreters and notetakers in high school. They say no and I was upset and really wanted to be blunt with them but I knew I would get in trouble and be suspended. But still I did not give up and tried again but no avail to my pleas. Other deaf classmates wanted ASL interpreters, too. We remain and went through the oral method way in the mainstream schools. No wonder it take a long time to fight for our Deaf rights. Geeze!!!!

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Grayma

Nope. I don't think I'm superior. I do know that I have more information about this particular situation than you do, however.
That's not the back story I am talking about. It has something to do with combining various pieces of a puzzle with information a third party, who is very HoH and signs fluently, gave me. Turns out, it wasn't a deaf culture issue at all, according to somebody who actually has enough information to reach an informed conclusion.

You can jump to conclusions all you like. But when you jump to those conclusions without any real evidence, it's your own credibility that looks a little shaky.

kokonut

The funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I actually laughed. Thanks.

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"... turns out they are telling the truth."

kokonut

It's a fact. Some of us can hear it, some cannot. This "we" business is just silly. Recognize the diversity of people with hearing loss.

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"... turns out they are telling the truth."

Jane B.

The part I put is bold in the quote is what I have been trying to come up with the clearest way to say. There are times when it seems that some posters (and no I cannot give exact examples at this time) are trying to see how far they can go and still excuse it as "blunt"!

Frisky Feline

TXgolfer

The irony is, many of those same people complain about others who ask questions like "What is it like to be deaf?" "How did you become deaf?" or "Why don't you have a CI?" I mean,it's pretty hypocritical for one to excuse their own behavior as being blunt, but not granting that same privilege to someone else.

Personally, I answer those questions all the time, they never bothered me.

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Alligator123

Wait is it really fine to talk about how ur poop went and explain it to ur family while ur eating???

lindtoholic

I'll agree that it's quite a shocking subject to discuss for those who aren't used to deaf culture, but I can definitely understand the lack of signs for specific trends in speech with those of us who don't use sign language for can use in our conversations.

In any case, speaking from someone in the "hearing" world so to speak, this sort of behaviour wouldn't be acceptable whilst at the table - but I do appreciate the cultural difference, and the difficulty in having any form of "eggshell" language to hand. The actors did perhaps exaggerate it, but I think it was quite a good way to show it in any case - even if it does seem slightly silly!

warpedpink

Let's not overanalyze it. I for one thought it was kinda funny. Of course I'd never describe how my poops look, smell, and/or whatever, but cmon people.. Laugh.

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Grummer

that's not you! lol

but i can imagine hahaha

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AlleyCat

Perfectly written.

Everyone's got their own idea of rudeness and bluntness. What is acceptable to one may not be to another, and vice versa. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors?

Grummer

Look >> What's My Pee Telling Me? - The New Book by Josh Richman & Anish Sheth M.D. - Chronicle Books

and here

and i have it in my loo room...

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Audiofuzzy

you are mistaking 'deaf culture' with 'lack of culture'.

Sadly, too many deaf people think being rude mean being open.
It is not so.

Rules of etiquette apply to both deaf and hearing alike. without exception.

Fuzzy

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Audiofuzzy

Actually, no.
The rules of what's considered good or bad manners is clearly defined by and in society.

Good manners is the practice of making the people around you feel comfortable. Right conduct is respecting others, present or not present, and others property.

Read more: What are good manners and right conduct

Is as simple as that.
If you are unsure whether or not your behavior is considered "good manners", there is always Miss Manners - the Queen and Authority of Good Manners
-to ask for advice.

Miss Manners

Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
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AlleyCat

Thank you for affirming what I just said (in the bold). What is acceptable to one (that makes them comfortable as you stated) may not be acceptable to another. At that time it may be appropriate to change the subject.

Still doesn't change what people think is rude or blunt. You can't speak for what others view as such.

Angel1989

I agree RR. Also there was a lady at the table. I can understand about being blunt, but you still need to be respectful to others. I raised three kids, and yes when there were a bunch of boys over, you would never enter my sons room.

Audiofuzzy

I really don't think we agree. I really don't think I am affirming what you've said.
In bold or otherwise.
and this:
What is acceptable to one (that makes them comfortable as you stated
is so NOT what I stated.
I am sorry but you badly misunderstood.


I say, there is one set of rules that states what's rude and what's not,
what's appropriate and what's not.

Just because someone for example feels comfortable taking about poop at the dining table
doesn't mean it is acceptable or considered good manners. It is NOT, period.

Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
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AlleyCat

Sorry you are having yet another bad day here.

You can have your opinion, I'll have mine.

Frisky Feline

Why must SOME of you have a hard time when others are entitled to have their own opinions?

naisho