horizon22

Communicating with hearing people has been a big scary thing to me. I often worry about not being able to hear their replies and communicate properly, which also comes by experience since at many occasions I have tried to get involved but failed to communicate with hearing people which discourages me to go and speak to them or participate in any of their group.

Please share your experiences and suggestion about how this can be overcome.

Thank you.

Deafness

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horizon22

Folks, please manage some time to help me

GeiShAutUm

It's good for hoh only that depends how much ur hearing loss.

horizon22

Mine is partial, not complete and that's why I hope to do that. Any thoughts?

GeiShAutUm

Are u late-deafened or what?

horizon22

Yes, late-deafened.

Smithtr

May I can help you? would be you how long your late or deaf ?
How do you experience on scared of communication awkward to meet to before to past?

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rockin'robin

Well, actually, what are you scared about?....We all have to communicate with hearies time to time, even on a daily basis....If you don't undy the hearie after asking them to "repeat", then take out ur pen and pad.....would that be embarrassing to you?.....Being late-deafened, my guess is that you have ur speech, right?....So, lip-reading would come into mind, but still, if you don't undy what is being said, then pen & pad would be the way to go. I can't foresee what you're being "scared" about!

green427

Are you scared typing on this forum? Guess what....there are thousands of hearing people reading your posts.

Are you really from India?

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

Bottesini

Maybe it is a clever student getting their homework done as they are too afraid to communicate with deaf people in the real world.

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horizon22

Smithtr - I am sorry, I don't understand your question.

RockinRobin : I think I am scared of failure to communicate. I am partially deaf, can speak and can lip-read. That is probably the reason I keep trying for a normal communication, without the need of pen and paper. Although I do not carry paper/pen everywhere, if someone at work comes by and I am unable to understand, I do request them to type on Notepad (text editor in Windows) or use paper/pen.

But what I am scared of is to walk into a group of hearing people and communicate with them. I am scared of not able to do that or be into awkward situation, perhaps because I still have a strong desire to communicate like normal people, likely due to the fact that I am not completely deaf.

I want to be bold enough to go introduce myself with new folks around, try to communicate them but somehow I hold myself back, perhaps due to fear of failure to communicate the normal way.

Thoughts?


Green427 - No, I am not scared of typing on this forum. I know there are hearies on this forum, but in huge numbers? I didn't know that, but again, I am unsure how it will help?

And yes, I am from India.

GeiShAutUm

Do u have portable tape recorder cell phone?

horizon22

Portable tape-recorder? You mean voice recorder in smart phone? If yes, then I do have it.

What do you have in mind about that? You are not thinking of suggesting I record conversation and come back home to convert it into text using some software or have someone interpret it for me, are you?

GeiShAutUm

I guess so, not me. Have sm1 to write down for u or send it to u in email after record.

green427

That's what I wrote in my original reply, but I deleted it after the OP indicated that he is late-deafened.

But, yes, this thread does smell like an elaborate homework assignment game.

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

horizon22

Well, you guys have hit a wrong note this time.

rockin'robin

Well, I don't know what you expect of any member to tell you....No one has a magic wand, you know........I'm late deafened myself and have speech, but there is no way I could just walk up to a group of hearies and join in the conversation since I would/could not hear what they were talking about...and I'm not about to monopolize a conversation.....Seems to be you have not "accepted" being HOH and want to be "hearing"...So again, there is no magic wand for that. Think about it.i

Smithtr

you are hearing? you are awkward to communication to pen on homework afriad, reason , you forums scared if you supposed withdrawl what is point, shy scared, embrassent, inside how feeling embrassment shame, why point
you are chnagelle on mind

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dereksbicycles

Typing to someone and talking to them in person are 2 different things.I have seen it first handed.

To OP, the best luck.

horizon22

Derek - you are right. I am way better when communicating via text, especially electronically but I still have a strong desire to participate in a group discussion like a normal person. Perhaps this is because I am not totally deafened?

Robin - May be it is me running away from reality and have not yet accepted that I cannot really participate in a group discussion of hearies? Sometimes, however it is not a desire but a necessity, for example, if I am discussing something at work with my boss and another colleague joins in and starts putting in his comments, I don't understand what he is talking to my boss. What makes me uncomfortable is that as a part of office politics, things have been said in such a setup which were untrue and misleading. Guess what, those put in bad light and my boss presumed them to be true since there were told in front of me.

Cyborg

Could I get fired for not wearing the ci at work?


I'm concerned that the loud sound exposures could be hazardous- if wearing the CI. That's the entire point of wearing earplugs. Its also difficult to wear the ci ontop of the earplugs and safety goggles for 14 hours.

Help? Before I get fired?

eirlys

The only way you can get over it is to do it.

I live a bit of a secluded life because I don't like having to ask people to repeat themselves. The only people who have been rude to me about it are actually the ones I'm closest to. My exhusband was bad. I've found that on the whole, strangers are usually more than happy to make the effort to communicate. My hesitance comes from my own fear of inconveniencing people honestly.

You'll get your bad apples who will be mean, but you have to exist in a hearing world and we all have to learn to communicate. As much as Deaf people have their own culture and are a very well established group... unfortunately it's a hearing persons world. It's annoying but true.

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green427

This should be in a different thread, but:

Your CI will only put out the maximum power that it is programmed for. Some really loud sounds will put pressure on your inner ear parts and you will feel slight pain. It should not affect how much you hear, since the CI is bypassing the inner ear parts and transmitting inside your cochlea. Instead of taking the CI's off, you should be able to wear ear protection headphones, but they might not fit comfortably due to the antenna placement.

As for being fired for not wearing CI's....depends on your job requirements, etc. Can you do your job as a deaf person? If yes, then they have no basis. Then again, being a employee myself, we have to draw the line between invoking the 'deaf card' and pissing the employer off.

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Warning: Anything I post may not make any sense. All advice is for entertainment value only. Sarcasm might be present. Interpret at your own risk.

horizon22

Thanks eirlys, I think I agree I have to gather courage to gradually come to the terms that I do not have an ideal world. I think we have almost similar experiences. I do not like to ask for repetition as well, mainly because I have had my share of bad apple already.

Thank you everyone.

LisaOllestad

I am hearing and learning asl for 5 years now. have interpreted for dear friends at the Kingdom Hall and am now part of a sign language group (voice off). If it helps horizon22 hearing are afraid to communicate with deaf and hoh too. we are all afraid... helps me that I have good friends that are patient with me and no judgement .... hope that helps

Bebonang

Horizon22, If you want to be in the hearing group to be able to understand what everyone is saying, then you need to get sign language interpreters to help you understand what the discussion is about. Otherwise if you want to talk to one or two people to communicate for conversation, then it is always good to write down on notepad (paper and pen) to communicate with hearing people. Lipreading is not accurate and can get lost on what the person is trying to say to you. We had struggled with lipreading skills and it was no win-win. Sign language is the most reliable way for us to understand Deaf people and sign language interpreters better than in the hearing world. Sign Language is ROCK.

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coolgirlspyer90

Honestly, this is just a part of life. We will all have our struggles but we still end up finding a way to get through it. Whether its getting a pen and a pencil out, reading lips, or using sign language or relying on your hearing devices to be able to communicate we still make it through. I had a tough time communicating with hearing people before. All deafies here and there had a time where they had a hard time communicating with the hearing. Some hearing people were nice enough to repeat them again, there will be some hearing people that will say "nevermind" or "forget it." but you learn to shrug it off of your shoulders and move on. But at least we are learning how to find ways to communicate with them. Like getting out your cellphone and typing in what you want to say or have the other person type in what they're trying to say. This is just a big world that we're living in. But i look at it like this, Sometimes I think when hearing people sees us signing, they're scared of coming up to us and talk to us because they don't want to embarrass themselves. It probably has happened to them before. And I know a few too. I brought a few of my deaf friends to my band competition one time and they wanted to try and communicate with them in sign. They were nervous at first but they managed to get a word or two in!

This is nothing to be afraid of. this is just a part of life. Like i said, you'll find ways to be able to talk to hearing people. Just look in the mirror and say i can do this, I'm not afraid.

caz12

it go both ways from someone like myself who was hearing but not now i found most hearing people really want to communicate that why so many learn bsl asl....i went into spiral of black depression when went deaf more or less overnight went to a rehab to help but was afraid to talk to deaf people cos didn't want to look stupid,but you dont,just plow on through

Berry

Interestingly accurate idiom for a non-native American.

Does your family believe in Karma?

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KristinaB

Well - in my local Deaf club, they have a small picture posted that basically states, "So what if you're afraid to speak to a hearing person, most hearing people are afraid to speak to a deaf person".

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