Vivie

I feel the same..long week!! LOL!!

Well , that's the perogative of every mom in the universe..and when we're kids it's acceptable..but when it's adulthood..it's not...there is a bit of a line..try to abide by that! LOL! Your husbands are very right..my mom's sister was going to get a divorce anyway , but in the meantime her husband died..so she's a widow..and a happy one! lol! so my mom relates everything to her sister and sister-in-law ( her oldest brother's wife ) so sometimes I'm stuck..and my dad relates everything to HIS sister..and his sister isn't much of a nice person at all! Worse part , she lives 4 floors above me..and reports my EVERY move to my father as ammunition..when it suits her! so I dont trust her , and by extension my father too..one of my motives to at least to move away!

Yeah..but when you argue with Brittany..who's the referee? As for her dad..I relate to that!! My dad's a lot like that and he doesn't sees or accept it..lol! Nice haircut there Brittany..as for the coloring..aren't you a bit young for that ?

It IS too funny..I also can relate you with other stories between my mother and me , but you don't know that much Greek to understand it anyways..And at the time , she had in her mind the divorce fresh , and she was scared she was going to live it again! Theo is very sensitive too..but lately she's getting stronger , as her sister even if she's younger , she's sturdier and knows all her weak spots! so she trys to cover them! LOL! One time I was with them , they started arguing..I told them to stop it , or else..They both did..but Sofia while she was departing , mussed Theo's hair..with the result of a chase around the apartment! Another time Sofia was always in front of the tv , while Theo was watching her show.Next thing I know , Sofia came in complaining that Theo hit her in the arm with the tv remote..I of course removed the remote and forbid her to watch her show , and made Sofia say she was sorry and she wasn't going to the toy store with me..You can imagine their outrage and complains! Since then they know the limits , and they still do annoy each other , but only in the extent that I think acceptable..LOL..they don't listen to their mommy , but to me! every time I visit her mom has a list with their biggest bad deeds ...LOL!

Yeah , Theodora , is an common name here , and means present from the god..My Christian name means good fame ..but it's hard to pronounce , so I go about my nickname..from family n friends!

Hi Brittany! I was only Christened , and when I was born , my mother did not want to give me the christian name I had , she wanted another name..and I was christened and named when I was school age..LOL! That is good that both your parents know and trust your godparents, I have the same relationship, ( I have two sets of them and one set of them are already relatives ) with mine, although I don't see them as often as I'd like.
It sure seems like a big event for you and an memorable one for your sisters! It was your decision to get christened?Do your godparents remember the traditionally Chocolate egg and wax long candle for easter , along with clothes and shoes or some money to buy yourself something ?
Yes , I did told her , and I think it will do you good , both in health and in mind , and you will get to know your family there a lot better!also , summer weather here is offering a lot of opportunities for baths , seasides , etc , and generally have a good time.And when times get harder , I always draw on my summers vacation with or without my family for strength , so you need to build that emotionally.and you are happy there.But , as a mother , the decision is ultimately hers , and she loves you and cares you for your wellbeing , not to mention that she'll miss you terribly! so trust her.and I do think she is happy that you alone love your time in Greece and make friends and see family.You have a long time to reach the decision , fall is just started.I hope you do well at school.Do you go to Greek school in the afternoon or not at all ? Do you know any Greek ?

LOL! Brittany sure seems determined to get her own way! How is Samantha ? have you reached any decision about her ed?Hug and kiss all your girls from me! Yeah they're lucky , and I love them like they were my own kids , and they do know and exploit it sometimes! LOL! Have a great w/e yourself!

Oh My, it has been crazy here..I am so glad it is finally the w/e!! Time to take a break, ya know?

I am very embarrassed to say that I'm prolly like your mom..I am very close to my sister and mother so they tend to know everything that goes on with my kids within a few minutes of it happening. I can't help it tho, my sister is my best friend. She moved two years ago and lives about an hour and a half away. We still talk on the phone constantly! Our husbands joke that they each got two wives.

Funny how the mom always gets to be the referee. Brittany's father comes to get her every other w/e and there always seems to be something that I have to smooth over for her..he doesn't like her new hair cut, or she has gotten it colored. He really IS a stubborn mule. (He always said I was when we were married, haha)

Poor Theo, I know how it is for her. I have been married to my current husband for nine years, but when we first married Brittany was like that. One time our lawn mower was broken and we all went to the store for the part to fix it. Brittany asked where we were going and he said,"To get a part." She thought we were going to get "apart" and started crying hysterically. Looking back now, it was too funny. At the time I felt really bad for her. She has always been my sensitive one.

She has a cousin in Greece that is getting ready to marry a young woman named Theo!

From Brittany - HI!! I was just named, not christened. When I was born my father already had two children that were named after his parents. Since my mother is American, and he says since I was a girl, he told her to name me what she wanted. I was baptized in the Greek church when I was 12. My little sisters still talk about the day they went to the big church and watched me take a bath. My Godparents are so nice to me. My parents have known them for years, they said for a long time before I was born that they wanted to baptize me. I actually got to see them when I was in Greece and flew back to the states with them! Please tell my mom to let me spend the summer there next year!!

OK, enough from her, and I just told her I will think about the whole summer in Greece...Have a great w/e Vivie..Hug Theo and Sofia, they are very lucky to have you..

I definitely can relate to that..for most of the errands has his girlfriend..but he's a guy that doesn't communicate very well , he was at Sweden for an conference , and switched to an pay-as-go numbers without telling us..we did not knew where he lived , where was that conference..and he didn't tell us the new number..so for ten days straight we were worried..stupid arse! but he's calling only when he has a problem..and the worst thing? he's still unresposible sometimes..and he CALLS me that..ugh!!men!but I do love him to bits too and I feel the same needs..but most of the times he drives me to the wall!!

Yeah..my mother is a bit more modern , but can't keep her mouth shut..I will tell her..within hours her side of the extended family will know! She would accept it , but before I decide I don't want any distractions! My father is quite set in his ways , he has my best interests too at heart , but sometimes he doesn't gets it..we weren't talking for the past half year...we made up recently but I don't trust him anymore..he's broken it..and he has to try and mend it! I made the first steps b/c I know he's not going to do it..Brittany just has to know one thing..Greek dads sometimes are a LOT like mules!! She has to agree initially just to placate him..and then to worm her way in a compromise..it has a little bit of deception , but it's sometimes the only way!! My mother's always the referee and she's starting to mind b/c my dad does not talks to her much when he's in a snit with me..and she's complaining a lot..LOL!!Brittany , darling , you will get it someday..but keep my advice in mind, it's helpful!

I agree ..Theo's got used to it..I worry about her education and her grades , and also about the situation she lives..she's a bright kid , but too stuck to her playstation or her computer ( she got an old used pc which I upgraded with parts of my desktop that I didn't need as I got an laptop ) and her free internet..and I worry she'll neglect a lot of things..when I'm here , I monitor her and listen to her..but I think the move WILL affect her a lot , she got wind of it , and she's already complaining , even if I told her nothing is definitive yet..and she's always very scared whenever her parents argue..it'd be better if her parents got a divorce , or at least live apart till they fix their differences..but they're of the old school..once married always married , and they don't like the concept of divorce..so Theo is stuck..Little Sofia is so bright and more adapted and courageous...I just think that Theo is very sensitive , and that the move will affect her dearly.I don't want to do that , remembering my other move..Theo lives near college premises , where her parents are overlooking after an hostel for college students, and I had rented a room there for 3 years.When I got engaged , my parents bought me an apartment into the town of Thessaloniki , and I moved here, where I still am.It's very far from college , but I don't mind much.but back then the move had upsetted her dearly and for a time she was VERY clingy to me.Sofia took it into her stride , she misses me but for her it's natural..maybe because she doesn't remember me living there much anymore..And I don't want to do more psychological damage to her.I try to toughen her up a bit , but she's like a rose flower..wilts very easily!!She doesn't has any friends , b/c she's extremely shy sometimes.I was too and I can relate to it , and I try to bring her out more..and I've succeeded, but if I move she maybe will withdraw again...I love them both like they were my own..and I've told her if I ever get to be a mom , she'll get to Christen my child and be a godmother..she wants me to get twins so she can do one and her sister the other..LOL!!Brittany were you christened ? or just named? the christening ceremony is very important in greece..

Yeah I do agree , as I said I have a good command of English , and I compare the two often.I do read a lot of books and have no difficulty ..Brittany today I acquired Brisingr by Paolini..what type of books do you read ? But I know speech reading will be harder partly of that reason I told you , and partly because I haven't been exposed to spoken english since high school..omg it's been 8 long years!!

I have a large family too, but the numbers are dwindling ..most of my uncles who got married , had only two children or none..I have very few cousins , and a LOT of elderly uncles/aunts.My family is scattered all over Greece , I have relatives at Thessaloniki ( where I live ) , in Athens ( where is my brother too ) and in northern Greece..I do have some very distant relatives in Lesbos , and that's it.It is good she looks forward to it ..It's a great vacation place , and for Karpenissi I've heard a lot of good things..When I got engaged ( we split up last year ) we were talking of having our honeymoon there..sadly that never is going to happen..LOL..My advice is to let her if she wants to stay..she'll return as brown as a nut! and she needs some independence from you..I didn't had that , and at my first year at college..it was the hardest thing I had ever done...

About Samantha, all your family will adapt , and shes a bright girl and tough as a nail as I gather from you..The destination will be good ,but try to enjoy the journey..to watch her and understand her , to meet her needs and achieve all together her happiness..and sometimes you have to make decisions she won't like it..but if it's the best thing for her , do persist..Samantha needs a lot of tools under her belt , plus a lot of love from you , and a good education.She'll thrive anywhere if she puts her mind to it , but she also needs to be happy!

I feel the same about my brother, he is older than me, but I have always been the "big sister" to him..."Can you take my dry-cleaning, do you mind picking this or that up for me" OR calls me on the phone, "OMG, this or that is going on, what should I do?!" I do love him dearly and for some reason feel the need to take care of him.

I understand about not telling your parents yet and agree. Wait until you have all of the information on your side. My ex (Brittany Nikole's father) is VERY Greek. Sometimes the little things she does get him upset, he is alot older than me and very set in his ways. I know he has her best intersts at heart, but he doesn't always get it. (Not saying that your parents are like that, just saying it is hard to listen to your child - and a daughter at that!) I always end up having to be the referee. I really don't mind. I think the point is that she hasn't learned how to approach him yet...She'll get it someday

Theo and Sofia are so lucky to have you! I have a Mom that is not very affectionate, I think as you get older you get used to it. Probably harder as a child...Why do you worry about Theo?

Funny, Brittany Nikole was just talking to me and said how ironic that we think our own language would be the easiest to speech read, but I do agree with you. I have a limited command of Greek (better than Brittany Nikole) and I think it would be easier. English is such a hard language and the rules make no sense.

She wants me to tell you that yes, she has a large family over there. Mostly all in Karpennnisi. She loved being there this summer. Her father and brother take turns going each year (one has to stay here and run the business). BUT, she is looking forward to going back next year with her brother. They want her to stay for the entire summer, I would miss her so much. (She is still my baby!!)

I feel like we are in a growing/learning phase with Samantha. I just want this path to get us to the right place for her, ya know

I sure can understand! I love my brother too..and he is travelling a lot! BUT he's also high maintenance..and always working nights and never waking up to go bring breakfast( not even when I was home from hospital..so you get the picture! LOL!I was running around with a bandage! damn him!LOL! ) but I love him to bits , even if he's a stupid donkey sometimes...

Definitely research..and I am researching for the possibility to move to UK permanently...my parents though don't know of my thought of moving away yet..I will tell them when it's definite...like when I decided to get an implant...this past year I've been surprising them lots of times..

Oh I understand..I'm so used to familes having only 2 children , that I never thought that you have more than 2!!Hello Brittany! Do you know any Greek? She must be a special girl to help you so much with Samantha..

Yeah sometimes the limits are so thin..it gets hard to distinguish..that is what I tell most CI or hearing aids moms..be careful of the limits..the goal is for the kid to grow happy and be good to whatever she does and loving it.not to be miserable..so far this thumb of rule has worked well..That about dinnertime sounds logical and it sure sounds like a reprieve for Samantha! It's a good rule! Wish my mother followed it sometimes..Even in the age of fifty she corrects me sometimes! she doesn't know how to stop...but outsiders say that I talk very well..maybe I'm sloping when I visit them b/c I know they'll understand me no matter what! LOL!

Yeah well I understand her too..and my father too..but , I can't understand sometimes my extended family( Brittany you have a large family at Greece? ) they act like they have been directly insulted when I tell them it's no different than an HA , only far , far better in quality..it's just a tool , not an miracle..( for me it IS a miracle..but I keep mum about it..LOL!) and I understand , it is a hard concept sometimes , what with companies that advertise it as the immediate solution to deafness..

It sure is..I myself , am not a parent , but I have been watching the kids I look after , grow up..and they turn to me often , as their mom is of the old 'school' and is arguing a lot with her husband too..The kids are named Theodora ( Theo for short in english ) and Sofia , they're 12 and 6 respectively..Theo started middle school ,and sometimes I worry about her..Sofia just started elementary school and loves it so far...they're good kids but sometimes a bit clingy to me as their mother does not shows much affection , she's not the huggy or snuggly type , so the kids turned to me..( I love hugs and kisses.. )

Samantha is bright and adapts anywhere and the best thing is that she does it by nature ..as so do I!Her poor therapist! Mine at least has an sense of humour and when she gets wind that my habit's kicking in , we both grin widely..although I do try to make it only an useful tool ...I always will be deaf , and maybe sometimes ( knock wood ) I can't access my CI..so I just try to learn to listen properly , and wean off speech reading , but also not to forget it , so I can have an accessible tool! One thing that I know for sure , is that I do not know much speech reading in English..so I *know* when I move to UK eventually , I *will* find my work cut out for me!Greek is so much easier in that department , as mostly what you see , is what you read , speak..English is quite another department in pronunciation..I did study english since I was 8 , but , sometimes is hard to get accustomed.This is one of the goals I have for when I move..to become adept into English.

I look forward to our chats too..youre a good mom and a great person! I hope someday we have the chance to meet up! And to get to know Brittany , Samantha , Addie!

What a week!! My brother sometimes stays at my house (he travels a lot for business) and he was here the past two nights. We are very close and I love him, but I think I am just beginning to realize exactly how high maintenance he is!

We are definitely resaerching all of our possibilities well before making any decision. I do not want to regret our next step. (And getting a lot of help from ADers)

I was slightly misleading and I appologize. My oldest (Brittany Nikole) is the one that reads your posts. She is very much trying to get in touch with her "Greek Roots"..I love it. As soon as I said I had been chatting with you, she was all about reading what you write.

I have always tried to make Samantha feel like it isn't correcting , just rephrasing. However, even that gets tiresome for her. (Understandably) So, at the dinner table I have told my husband and Brittany Nikole there are no rules. Samantha is allowed to tell her stories about her day at school in her own words.

I understand how your mother feels. With this new implant my husband thought she should be able to hear immediately on that side. He didn't quite understand since she has been hearing with the other one for so long..(I always tell him I am the brains, he is the brawn..lol) It really is a hard concept to get..

I think the hardest part of being a parent is when you realize that a piece of candy and a kiss won't make it all better for them. Samantha is the strongest willed child I have. I know that as she gets older she will be fine. I worry about the years in between. I know what it was like for my oldest going through middle school, even my own middle school years. They are the worst when all you want is to fit in..I guess I am just being a typical mom. I am sure your mother felt the same.

Also, I am sorry I absolutely used the wrong word. Samantha is definitely a speech reader. It is uncanny how she has the ability to read your body language and know exactly what emotion you are projecting, and/or is able to guess what you are trying to say without having to see your lips move!! Her therapist also became frustrated with that.

I so look forward to these chats, you seem like such a great person. I am glad to have met you, Vivie..

LOL!!

The same reasons push me to investigate moving abroad if possible!! My mother did the same , as you do for Samantha , but bear in mind that there Deaf schools are not only boarding , they also are VERY behind in education , so for my mother there never was an option for her..if you do have the option , research it fully first before moving!

I also was kept a year behind to get myself catch up..and I never learnt GSL , I am lipreading..Too well my AVT trainer is saying..LOL!! I always preffered books over TV , and I was always a lot behind than my peers..had the hardest time going to the school.I never felt age apropriate !! My mother tried to get my vocabulary going off , but after a while , seeing that I read adult books by the age of 10 she relented..I can tell you numerous hilarious episodes!! LOL!!

I can understand though what Samantha is going through , and sometimes it's like going on a rope..it's harder! Don't you have in States , the option of homeschooling? Maybe homeschool her for a year or so , and enlist her in various activities for the afternoon..Like , piano lessons , painting , horseback riding or any sport she wants to try out! My parents were always giving me activities..I was going ballet lessons , piano , tennis , and lessons in driving an motorbike and so on...I even went dancing Greek dances lesson! Just to have fun!!

For the correcting part , doesn't Samantha feels frustrated sometimes ? I do remember that I was , and I wanted to kill my mother for always interrupting me..the balance is easily tipped off..Sometimes is just as good to held back our corrections just for the sake of the kid completing her thoughts!I remember also that my frustration led me to turn rudely on my heel and go away , thus angering my mother just to feel justified! LOL!!My poor mom!Since I moved away for college , things between us are better than ever , but when we've met since CI operation have detoriated as she wants the change to happen overnight! So..I'm re-training her..LOL!

As for the 'friends' part I can understand her..She could get some CI pen-pals from other states or countries, maybe that'd help her..what do you think? And it's terrific that her sister Addie helps her and plays with her at recess , my older brother did too for a while and after a while started to go with his own friends.when he started middle school things began a bit downhill..but I did find a few and rare and valuable friends that helped me..And my favourite cousing was always a year above me ,and always looking over me!
For the withdrawing part, she has to fight that for herself.I was too till I went to college.then I learned that with withdrawing you never get what you want! So I started getting as active as I could..I still get 'withdrawing' crises but I try to be ok most of the time.

I never knew of ASL , and my parents learned very basic signs while they were at NY so I was always in a spoken environtment..but , even if I couldn't talk , I was very clever!! Every time I was thirsty , I would pull my mother to the kitchen and show her the tap to give me water..my mother never relented though , she wanted me to say it! and various other things! LOL!!

Your oldest , I can sympathize..the kids that I look over at nights and weekends are in very unhappy in the event that I might move abroad..they started even saying lots of things that I will miss , to change my mind! LOL! ( they're 12 and 6 and they don't need really looking over , but they love me to bits , and I do love them ) . But you can tell her that we will cross that bridge when it happens, not before , and she always can call or write her friends , and allow her to spend part of her holidays with someone you trust here , so she can see her pals! It's all about a compromise! But , do not forget , kids are bright and adapt anywhere..us adults are more...problematic! haha!

Hello Samantha! You seem to be a very good and eager kid! Wish I could meet u and your mother sometimes!And yes , you and your family always will support anything that will help you flourish and be happy!! And never worry too much about age gaps..I never did , and I'm much better for it!!

and a laugh for all of you..your mother wrote earlier that you do lipread too well..LOL! Lipreading isn't always speech reading , but also observing facial changes , features!! Well my AVT teacher used to cover her mouth so I could wean off it..But I could guess what she said , as I always was keen in observing a lot of things to help me in lipreading..she tends to crinkle up her eyes a lot for instance if she said ha , etc! And I always was correct in guessing what she did..She got suspicious..She looked me thoughtfully...I played innocent , although I knew she started to get wind of it..she grabbed a book and covered her whole face! and started continuing our lessons..but I had broken in laughter , and since then , every time she does it , I always grin and giggle..she too..it's far too funny!! but , even sometimes her chest gives her away..LOL the way she moves when she talks..it's too funny and she's starting to say jokingly that she'll order a whole screen to cover herself!

My AVT uses cueing sometimes , to help me understand the sounds I hear..have you tried that ? As for ASL , I do think that if you say that this hour..say for 10 to 12 will be only for signing , so she can boost her signing before she goes to school , and possibly , to help your whole family get at least a basic concept of it? just a thought! Samantha , do you know any Greek at all ?

Samantha does have an FM system in school, I think it helps some. When she was implanted we were told not to teach her sign....if only I could turn back time. She does lipread, sometimes too well.....

We started her in school a year late, trying to give her the chance to catch up. It really isn't happening. Her vocabulary is still about 15 months behind her chronological age. She doesn't seem to be closing that gap at all. That's why I wish we would have signed from the beginning...She has such a difficult time trying to get her thoughts across and I feel like we are constantly correcting her.

She doesn't really have any "friends" in school. She is still young enough that her classmates have not yet begun to reject her. (That will come soon) They take care of her. She tends to withdraw. This is the first year that she does not want to go, she cries and begs to stay home with me. Her little sister, Addie, is one year behind her. They actually have recess together, so I know she has someone to play with then. It breaks my heart.

We are looking into the school for the deaf here. I'm hoping to get her somewhere that she can learn ASL and feel like she fits in, ya know? We would have to move though, and my oldest is not happy about that. (She is in 10th grade and has gone to school with the same kids since kindergarten)


Actually, you two have a lot in common, besides the Greek thing ...She is a total bookworm! Has always preferred books over TV.
(She reads all of your replies to me!) After reading your last post she agreed, we have to do whatever is best for Samantha.

Yeah I know how your daughter feels..and believe me, it's far worse here!!I was mainstreamed with HA's but , I was going to school only for the 'formal' education..the classmates weren't much interested to know me..and in afternoon I had homeschooling to catch up with school ( here , you can't opt out of school ) plus ballet , English lessons ( that's how I got so fluent..most of my friends struggle even to read novels in English..I relish them! ) , piano/music , and some years on/ off , tennis..I also never saw TV except the captioned Beverly Hills lol, and I was and still am an avid bookworm!

I had my HA's both till 11 years old , when I suddenly lost my right ear hearing and since then I was with my left ear , which decreased suddenly too last year or so..and I got implanted almost 4 months ago..I'm 25 , and it was my own decision! My family supported me wholeheartedly , and I don't regret it , even if I'm still at the starting phase..and I'm enthusiastic about my AVT , because my old one , back at my hometown wasn't very good..she's too strict and always overpressuring me sometimes..this one is cool and knows to set limits..and we're roughly the same age and we have a bit of a friendship..

I never knew Greek sign language , or even any sign language , though I think of learning it but I am excellent into lipreading greek language ( its very easy comparing to other languages..I struggled to french..in english I struggle sometimes , as I am not familiar with lipreading them , and only with the most basic! and I don't talk them much as I feel inadequate , even if I intellectually know that I'm excellent , reading , writing etc..) so even if my reasons for moving are partly to go bilateral , it was always a challenge dream for me to go abroad and challenge myself..I even moved away from my parents as soon as I was 17 , to go to college!

The only thing I sometimes regret is that I don't know GSL or ASL so I can communicate with deaf peers..and sometimes I feel lonely..my parents are hearing , as is my brother, so they opted out , for fear that I would not learn to talk or communicate with them any other way except GSL , not to mention that GSL schools are boarding ones , and with almost no education! Most deaf here are supported by their parents , or find a low paying job..so I can understand their opting out of GSL..And I'm trying to learn it on my own , but I'm not so consistent..

Does your daughter has an FM system ? or does she know ASL ? I remember being her age and feeling lonely and frustrated ..you definitely need some education system where your daughter will thrive..what are the options? If I were in your shoes , I would send her at a deaf school , and continue the therapy at home.or if that is not possible , get a pool of deaf friends, either with HA's or CI's or nothing at all , so she can get peer interaction.Does she has any friends ?

Samantha is 8. She is doing great with her CIs, but not so great being mainstreamed. We are looking at other options. So sad that technology has come so far but the school systems and the general population is still so backwards thinking!

How old were you when you got your implant?

It is awesome that you have found a good therapist, that can make all the difference in the world!