I'm sorry you feel so stuck, that's got to be difficult. I will pray you find your indentity and comfort, and for the right people to come alongside you in this difficult time!
My name is Emily. I can't say I know what you're going throug in the sense of losing your hearing, but wanted to share with you two things I've gleaned in my quest to learn ASL. The first was that there was a dvd we had to watch in class, called through deaf eyes, and one of the things a gentleman said was that when we are hearing we tend to say "If I was deaf I wouldn't be able to..." but deaf people don't think like that. And the second one ties in with that because in realizing that I've been challenged to think with my other senses. My sign language teacher is completely deaf and he was realying to us, one day, about how he likes the rain and the snow because it is like music to him, "you (the entire class was hearing) listen to music, I see it." and about how the storms were like drums to him.
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