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Unread 12-29-2011, 12:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Dating a deaf woman

I am a hearing person. I met a deaf woman just a few nights ago. To be honest, she is the first deaf person I've had any kind of relationship or friendship with. It took me and hour and a half to talk to her friend to see how I approach her. Long story shirt, the girl gave me her phone number. We've been texting. I'm taking her out this weekend and I know she said she brings a note pad. I joined here to really learn. This is very much unchartered territory for me and just looking for a little guidance I suppose. One big thing I've been wondering about is the language. All her texts read almost like someone who's foreign and speaks very broken English if that makes sense. And every text has a smiley face or a wink or some other emoticon. I'm assuming its normal considering she's never really heard words. Is it normal like I think it is? I'm sorry if I'm coming off weird...I don't mean to offend or upset anyone. Like I said, this is very different for me and she's a beautiful, seemingly very sweet woman and I guess I am just hoping to understand a bit better. Thank you in advance. i really do appreciate it
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Unread 12-29-2011, 12:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Chances are her first language is ASL so she doesn't think in English although can express the ASL using English words but with different syntax.

If you can talk with a pad for a while and learn a few signs you'll have a great time, she may be able to lipread but it is hard work so I would suggest stick to the pen and paper.
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Unread 12-29-2011, 03:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Man, if I had a quarter for every one of these threads. lol
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Unread 12-29-2011, 03:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You'd have a whole?
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Unread 12-29-2011, 04:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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bad idea, sex is too loud
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Unread 12-29-2011, 04:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Who cares, we're deaf! :-)
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Unread 12-29-2011, 06:08 AM   #7 (permalink)
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If you do go out with her, let me know if she talks about cars with turbocharged engine and whether she uses or when this subject is bought up, ok???
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Unread 12-29-2011, 08:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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She writes like she signs. American Sign Language is her first language so that is why she writes the way she does. If you like her, stick with the pen and pad and just be yourself. It is what attracted you to her in the first place.
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Unread 01-04-2012, 01:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Guess I'll use this as my first post on this forum.

Her English might seem shoddy but you will have to find a common ground that both of you perceives the world equally as some deaf people's ability for conceptualizations can be quite different when it's not based on the English language.

One thing I would strongly suggest you to do is to be open to expressive body languages both ways as that will be the perfect gateway to learning sign language and gives her the opportunities to learn your own body language when you interact with things around her.

I could go on and on but just do your best to see who she is within the world she lives in be it visual, soundless, physical, or what not.

Last of all, just remember, being hearing is overrated and taken for granted.

Hope that helps.
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Unread 01-05-2012, 02:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Wirelessly posted

Well i have a friend who is deaf and me and her sign back and forth to each other since a paper and pen can get old after awhile. But i would try and start learning ASL if you are interested in this girl
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