Is asking for ASL help a bad way of getting to know someone?

Goldaline · 12-14-2011, 05:10 PM

I recently started talking to a guy that I see in class every other day. For awhile, we would send big paragraph-long messages to each other online and I really started to like him. I'm really shy (especially when signing and he's Deaf), though, and I find it hard to talk to him in person. I'm worried he'll think I'm not interested in getting to know him because I never say more than "hi" when I see him.

I thought it might be easier to talk to him if we establish beforehand that we're going to meet up or talk. Do you think it would be rude to ask him for help with my signing? I'm doing a presentation in my ASL class and the help really would be beneficial, but I also just want a reason to talk to him. I don't want it to seem like I'm just using him to improve my signing skills!

Opinions and advice are much appreciated!

**mbrek** · 12-14-2011, 06:26 PM

I wouldn't ask him that directly... let HIM decide to help you (guys like being helpful). Tell him you are learning sign and want to get better, but you don't always have the opportunity to sign with other people.

That opens the door a crack without you overtly asking him to teach you. He can then decide to walk through or not. But if he doesn't offer, don't keep asking (thinking he didn't understand).

Hope that helps! Don't forget to update with results (good or bad).

Goldaline · 12-14-2011, 06:36 PM

I'll try just bringing it up. Thanks!
I'll be back with updates

dereksbicycles · 12-14-2011, 10:10 PM

I don't know the guy. I hope the guy doesn't think you're "using" him because you need help with ASL presentation or ASL class. Some guys may take it the wrong way.

posts from hell · 12-16-2011, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goldaline

I'll try just bringing it up. Thanks!
I'll be back with updates

Good way to go. Deaf people are not the best with ambiguous stuff.

VacationGuy234 · 12-16-2011, 06:36 PM

Yes, give it a shot. I'm sure the guy will be happy to help you learn sign. He will appreciate any effort to communicate with him.

kellycat · 12-20-2011, 02:44 PM

I tend to be WAY too shy to ask a guy out, but if I have an "excuse" I go with it. (Keep in mind I'm single so take this advice as just one gal's opinion that may not be worth much.)

I would tell him I was stuck with some ASL thing, and would he be willing to help me. Then we'd go meet somewhere, start to small talk, and maybe eventually get to helping with the project! You know Deaf people can carry on small talk for HOURS! Then at the end I would be sure to mention that I REALLY enjoyed chatting (emphasis on that) and thanks for the help. If I were feeling bold, I would suggest we should go get coffee/drinks/whatever again sometime. Y'know really casual, but leaving the door WIDE open for him.

Goldaline · 12-23-2011, 08:20 PM

Thanks for the advice! I sent him a message, so now I'm just waiting for a response. I won't be seeing him in person until after the holidays

**mbrek** · 12-23-2011, 08:41 PM

^^^Good luck!

**Cheetah** · 12-24-2011, 06:19 PM

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Take it from me.... A guy... We love to be helpful!!!

**Smithtr** · 12-27-2011, 11:48 PM

Don't worry you, not shy because take an your pretty process your depend skills level memory your ASL roles expertisement visual learn

help support, his deaf help better effort help social better! encourage advise eager! enjoy for you! I can help to teach to roles to people ASL help modify help help better! I hope be your !
my IMO
Don't worry, He wish be might communication to write to cause to barriers to issues troubles/ hires interpreter i can tell you I am public experience general open mind!

Jeremylikewoah · 01-05-2012, 02:40 PM

Wirelessly posted

I would just tell him that you like him and want to communicate better through ASL

12-14-2011, 05:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Goldaline Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 14	Is asking for ASL help a bad way of getting to know someone? I recently started talking to a guy that I see in class every other day. For awhile, we would send big paragraph-long messages to each other online and I really started to like him. I'm really shy (especially when signing and he's Deaf), though, and I find it hard to talk to him in person. I'm worried he'll think I'm not interested in getting to know him because I never say more than "hi" when I see him. I thought it might be easier to talk to him if we establish beforehand that we're going to meet up or talk. Do you think it would be rude to ask him for help with my signing? I'm doing a presentation in my ASL class and the help really would be beneficial, but I also just want a reason to talk to him. I don't want it to seem like I'm just using him to improve my signing skills! Opinions and advice are much appreciated!

12-14-2011, 06:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
mbrek Premium Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,512 Blog Entries: 1	I wouldn't ask him that directly... let HIM decide to help you (guys like being helpful). Tell him you are learning sign and want to get better, but you don't always have the opportunity to sign with other people. That opens the door a crack without you overtly asking him to teach you. He can then decide to walk through or not. But if he doesn't offer, don't keep asking (thinking he didn't understand). Hope that helps! Don't forget to update with results (good or bad). shel90 and Eighty like this. __________________ Sarcasm - just another little service I offer.

12-23-2011, 08:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
mbrek Premium Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,512 Blog Entries: 1	^^^Good luck! __________________ Sarcasm - just another little service I offer.

12-24-2011, 06:19 PM	#10 (permalink)
Cheetah Cheetah Consulting-Closed Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2,694	Wirelessly posted (Backberry) Take it from me.... A guy... We love to be helpful!!! Smithtr, KristinaB, mbrek and 1 others like this. __________________ The Cheetah Consulting services No request too small, no fee too large! Serving the deaf world wide since yesterday. Open daily 9 ~ 5

12-27-2011, 11:48 PM	#11 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,645	Don't worry you, not shy because take an your pretty process your depend skills level memory your ASL roles expertisement visual learn help support, his deaf help better effort help social better! encourage advise eager! enjoy for you! I can help to teach to roles to people ASL help modify help help better! I hope be your ! my IMO Don't worry, He wish be might communication to write to cause to barriers to issues troubles/ hires interpreter i can tell you I am public experience general open mind! __________________

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

12-14-2011, 06:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
Goldaline Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 14	I'll try just bringing it up. Thanks! I'll be back with updates

12-14-2011, 10:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
dereksbicycles Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: 60202 Posts: 3,791	I don't know the guy. I hope the guy doesn't think you're "using" him because you need help with ASL presentation or ASL class. Some guys may take it the wrong way.

12-16-2011, 06:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
VacationGuy234 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 2,777	Yes, give it a shot. I'm sure the guy will be happy to help you learn sign. He will appreciate any effort to communicate with him.

12-20-2011, 02:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
kellycat Registered User Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 155	I tend to be WAY too shy to ask a guy out, but if I have an "excuse" I go with it. (Keep in mind I'm single so take this advice as just one gal's opinion that may not be worth much.) I would tell him I was stuck with some ASL thing, and would he be willing to help me. Then we'd go meet somewhere, start to small talk, and maybe eventually get to helping with the project! You know Deaf people can carry on small talk for HOURS! Then at the end I would be sure to mention that I REALLY enjoyed chatting (emphasis on that) and thanks for the help. If I were feeling bold, I would suggest we should go get coffee/drinks/whatever again sometime. Y'know really casual, but leaving the door WIDE open for him.

12-23-2011, 08:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
Goldaline Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 14	Thanks for the advice! I sent him a message, so now I'm just waiting for a response. I won't be seeing him in person until after the holidays

01-05-2012, 02:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
Jeremylikewoah Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: South Carolina Posts: 17	Wirelessly posted I would just tell him that you like him and want to communicate better through ASL

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