Would you call me a loser?

alwaysandalways · 08-20-2011, 07:09 PM

So I never had a boyfriend and I am 30 years old. I don't believe I am horribly ugly- probably just not a supermodel. People are shocked by it. I personally am a bit sad sometimes. I think it is because... oh I don't know anymore. I don't really like the bar scene and live in a small town. I think things like match.com are depressing because once a guy goes on a date with me they run for the hills. I would love to just go on a date. Heck even just chating and getting to know someone then dating. ya know what I mean? Must be Saturday- always get down on date nights

BTW I am hearing and no I am not looking just to date a Deaf guy. That is not why I posted this. However I do agree a lot of girls seem to be looking for that on this thread.

posts from hell · 08-20-2011, 10:19 PM

Not at all.

Warped · 08-20-2011, 10:28 PM

I wouldn't call you a loser.

Don't let others define who you are. Being single isn't the end of the world. Make the best out of your time, and have FUN! Get involved in activities around the town, or start developing some hobbies, and you will meet people with common interests. If still no dating life, no biggie cuz you are having fun and enjoying life, right?

rockin'robin · 08-20-2011, 10:43 PM

Ur town have a library?....Ever tried being a volunteer?...(hospitals, schools, colleges, etc., even Habit for Humanity). Great place to meet people.....

drphil · 08-20-2011, 10:46 PM

alwaysandalways: have you considered "Checking out" Singles dances in your area? They are hardly for losers.

There are many books in the public library re your situation to consider.
MY user name has one: Love Smart Dr Phil McGraw PhD. Free Press New York 2005

Good luck in you new journey.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

**Jiro** · 08-20-2011, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwaysandalways

I think things like match.com are depressing because once a guy goes on a date with me they run for the hills.

what would be a reason for that?

deafdyke · 08-20-2011, 11:29 PM

AlwaysandAlways, join the club. I dated a bit in college, but nobody who ever really sparked anything. I have had close friends, and am involved in the world's most confusing friendship right now. But I don't have anyone and have never had a serious significent other

**Jiro** · 08-20-2011, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

AlwaysandAlways, join the club. I dated a bit in college, but nobody who ever really sparked anything. I have had close friends, and am involved in the world's most confusing friendship right now. But I don't have anyone and have never had a serious significent other

confusing? friendship?

you mean.... Friends With Benefit..

deafdyke · 08-21-2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

confusing? friendship?

you mean.... Friends With Benefit..

No. More like an almost girlfriend...a very intense friendship.

alwaysandalways · 08-21-2011, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

what would be a reason for that?

Honestly- I think it is because I work for a Church and am religious. Most guys lied on their match profile because they would say Catholic- always attend church. never smoke.

They would go on the date with me smoking and never attend a church. My faith is important to me.

Some guys on the date though I didn't like either. I'm someone you have to get to know. I am sort of silly haha

Frisky Feline · 08-21-2011, 10:02 AM

There are a several deaf churchs so have you thought of going there?

Warped · 08-21-2011, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

I have had close friends, and am involved in the world's most confusing friendship right now.

I know this feeling... The sad part is realizing that the friendship will never go back to what it was before..

**SneakerNet** · 08-21-2011, 10:42 AM

Mmmm...this remind me of something... what is it.... oh 30 Years Old Virgin!!

Ok ok ok..I'm bad...just kidding....

No, you are not a loser, you just live by choice and you still have plenty of time to find the right one. I know sometime you feel lonely but you haven't try to go places where there's deaf church or deaf events... or you can even try DSC (Deaf Single Connections) if you are smart enough how to do "catch 22" when communicating with deaf people. And best yet talk through VP if you have one.

There's is no rush at all, if you enjoyed doing things now outweigh your lonelyness.

Edited: Just saw that you are hearing, but either way deaf events or hearing events, or go to library pick up lot of books and sit down and read... I get hit once a while when I'm reading a book in Borders (usually for like 4 hours, cuz I love books) and whenever she see me reading that book, she usually asked me..."Hi, I just saw you reading that books and what you think of it? I just finished read that book!" and then we carry on our conversations.

posts from hell · 08-21-2011, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwaysandalways

Honestly- I think it is because I work for a Church and am religious. Most guys lied on their match profile because they would say Catholic- always attend church. never smoke.

They would go on the date with me smoking and never attend a church. My faith is important to me.

Some guys on the date though I didn't like either. I'm someone you have to get to know. I am sort of silly haha

So actually it is not "all of them running for the hills"?

posts from hell · 08-21-2011, 11:34 AM

Also a suggestion would be to date within your church.

It seems Berlin is a small town, and you want a guy who is in the same thing you are into -- find them at the places you attend to your interests at.

**Jiro** · 08-21-2011, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwaysandalways

Honestly- I think it is because I work for a Church and am religious. Most guys lied on their match profile because they would say Catholic- always attend church. never smoke.

They would go on the date with me smoking and never attend a church. My faith is important to me.

Some guys on the date though I didn't like either. I'm someone you have to get to know. I am sort of silly haha

there you go. they run for the hills because they're a liar! and a jerk.

**sequoias** · 08-21-2011, 02:30 PM

Sorry to hear about the issue. You know how lot of guys are.

Don't give up hope and you will find someone someday.

alwaysandalways · 08-21-2011, 04:52 PM

Actually it was the 40 year old Virgin and I think that is besides the point

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I just googled 30 and never had a boyfriend and tons of blogs poped up. So I guess I am not alone

dereksbicycles · 08-21-2011, 05:32 PM

My girlfriend didn't start dating until she was in her late 20s and we have talked about wanting to marry in the near future.

You're what you think. If you think you are a loser, then you're right. You're a loser. If you don't think you're a loser, then you aren't a loser.

There are perks of dating late, I would suppose. Have fun. Enjoy!!

alwaysandalways · 08-21-2011, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dereksbicycles

My girlfriend didn't start dating until she was in her late 20s and we have talked about wanting to marry in the near future.

You're what you think. If you think you are a loser, then you're right. You're a loser. If you don't think you're a loser, then you aren't a loser.

There are perks of dating late, I would suppose. Have fun. Enjoy!!

I forgot that. If I see myself as a loser than I am. I don't really see myself as a loser and maybe I need more positive thinking

**Smithtr** · 08-21-2011, 06:13 PM

I am sorry hear happened hard feeling!

deafdyke · 08-21-2011, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warped

I know this feeling... The sad part is realizing that the friendship will never go back to what it was before..

It's hard. We're very close (ie say I love you, and hug and kiss) and a lot of times, I am just very happy to be friends with her. Very happy. But OH MAN, sometimes (if you get my drift) I just WANT her in the absolute worst way.

PowerON · 08-22-2011, 09:10 AM

Don't encourage yourself to being loser. Be forward on, make thing interesting for yourself out your life!

drphil · 08-23-2011, 12:30 PM

Is the first step-don't describe oneself as a "loser".?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

**Smithtr** · 08-23-2011, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

Is the first step-don't describe oneself as a "loser".?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

what, why said you say loser on call on ? inappropriate call serious! bit insult to loser!

drphil · 08-23-2011, 06:41 PM

Travis: the thread heading-would you call me a loser?

Read the first post.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

drphil · 08-23-2011, 06:48 PM

Travis: My first post #5 suggests Singles dances for her- hardly an activity for "losers".

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

**Smithtr** · 08-23-2011, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

Travis: My first post #5 suggests Singles dances for her- hardly an activity for "losers".

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

oh i see , I reading notice it!

DeafTim · 08-23-2011, 08:18 PM

Dont feel to0 bad. I havent had a gf over a decade. My old neighbor who is his early 50s never touch a woman in his life. He is cripple (he walks very good,walks slow and kinda funny) and works at McDonalds. Nobody owns your soul so their opinions mean nothing.

**sallylou** · 08-23-2011, 08:51 PM

I would never cause anyone a loser. You're too hard on yourself. Maybe you're just a late bloomer.

08-20-2011, 07:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
alwaysandalways Registered User Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Berlin, Wisconsin Posts: 27	Would you call me a loser? So I never had a boyfriend and I am 30 years old. I don't believe I am horribly ugly- probably just not a supermodel. People are shocked by it. I personally am a bit sad sometimes. I think it is because... oh I don't know anymore. I don't really like the bar scene and live in a small town. I think things like match.com are depressing because once a guy goes on a date with me they run for the hills. I would love to just go on a date. Heck even just chating and getting to know someone then dating. ya know what I mean? Must be Saturday- always get down on date nights BTW I am hearing and no I am not looking just to date a Deaf guy. That is not why I posted this. However I do agree a lot of girls seem to be looking for that on this thread.

08-20-2011, 10:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
Warped Registered User Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Maryland Posts: 102	I wouldn't call you a loser. Don't let others define who you are. Being single isn't the end of the world. Make the best out of your time, and have FUN! Get involved in activities around the town, or start developing some hobbies, and you will meet people with common interests. If still no dating life, no biggie cuz you are having fun and enjoying life, right? Reba likes this.

08-20-2011, 10:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,110	alwaysandalways: have you considered "Checking out" Singles dances in your area? They are hardly for losers. There are many books in the public library re your situation to consider. MY user name has one: Love Smart Dr Phil McGraw PhD. Free Press New York 2005 Good luck in you new journey. Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07 __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

08-21-2011, 10:42 AM	#13 (permalink)
SneakerNet My IQ: 12 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: 26°53'41.95" N 41°40'50.62" W Posts: 1,952	Mmmm...this remind me of something... what is it.... oh 30 Years Old Virgin!! Ok ok ok..I'm bad...just kidding.... No, you are not a loser, you just live by choice and you still have plenty of time to find the right one. I know sometime you feel lonely but you haven't try to go places where there's deaf church or deaf events... or you can even try DSC (Deaf Single Connections) if you are smart enough how to do "catch 22" when communicating with deaf people. And best yet talk through VP if you have one. There's is no rush at all, if you enjoyed doing things now outweigh your lonelyness. Edited: Just saw that you are hearing, but either way deaf events or hearing events, or go to library pick up lot of books and sit down and read... I get hit once a while when I'm reading a book in Borders (usually for like 4 hours, cuz I love books) and whenever she see me reading that book, she usually asked me..."Hi, I just saw you reading that books and what you think of it? I just finished read that book!" and then we carry on our conversations. __________________ No trees were harmed in the sending of this email; however, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

08-21-2011, 11:34 AM	#15 (permalink)
posts from hell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,434	Also a suggestion would be to date within your church. It seems Berlin is a small town, and you want a guy who is in the same thing you are into -- find them at the places you attend to your interests at. rockin'robin, Babyblue and Beach girl like this.

Today
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08-20-2011, 10:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
posts from hell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,434	Not at all.

08-20-2011, 10:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 15,274	Ur town have a library?....Ever tried being a volunteer?...(hospitals, schools, colleges, etc., even Habit for Humanity). Great place to meet people.....

08-20-2011, 11:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
deafdyke Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 13,078	AlwaysandAlways, join the club. I dated a bit in college, but nobody who ever really sparked anything. I have had close friends, and am involved in the world's most confusing friendship right now. But I don't have anyone and have never had a serious significent other

08-21-2011, 10:02 AM	#11 (permalink)
Frisky Feline Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 20,217	There are a several deaf churchs so have you thought of going there?

08-21-2011, 02:30 PM	#17 (permalink)
sequoias Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Iowa, the land of the cornfields and pigs Posts: 21,854	Sorry to hear about the issue. You know how lot of guys are. Don't give up hope and you will find someone someday.

08-21-2011, 04:52 PM	#18 (permalink)
alwaysandalways Registered User Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Berlin, Wisconsin Posts: 27	Actually it was the 40 year old Virgin and I think that is besides the point Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I just googled 30 and never had a boyfriend and tons of blogs poped up. So I guess I am not alone

08-21-2011, 05:32 PM	#19 (permalink)
dereksbicycles Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: 60202 Posts: 3,788	My girlfriend didn't start dating until she was in her late 20s and we have talked about wanting to marry in the near future. You're what you think. If you think you are a loser, then you're right. You're a loser. If you don't think you're a loser, then you aren't a loser. There are perks of dating late, I would suppose. Have fun. Enjoy!! alwaysandalways likes this.

08-21-2011, 06:13 PM	#21 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,645	I am sorry hear happened hard feeling! __________________

08-22-2011, 09:10 AM	#23 (permalink)
PowerON Registered User Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 37.5, 126.9 Posts: 10,321 Blog Entries: 5	Don't encourage yourself to being loser. Be forward on, make thing interesting for yourself out your life! __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

08-23-2011, 12:30 PM	#24 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,110	Is the first step-don't describe oneself as a "loser".? Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07 __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

08-23-2011, 06:41 PM	#26 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,110	Travis: the thread heading-would you call me a loser? Read the first post. Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07 __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

08-23-2011, 06:48 PM	#27 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,110	Travis: My first post #5 suggests Singles dances for her- hardly an activity for "losers". Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07 Beach girl likes this. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07 Last edited by drphil; 08-23-2011 at 06:51 PM. Reason: duplicate

08-23-2011, 08:18 PM	#29 (permalink)
DeafTim Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utica,OH Posts: 2,327	Dont feel to0 bad. I havent had a gf over a decade. My old neighbor who is his early 50s never touch a woman in his life. He is cripple (he walks very good,walks slow and kinda funny) and works at McDonalds. Nobody owns your soul so their opinions mean nothing. crazyerica32 likes this. __________________ It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!! Harry Caray Mitt: I have 5 point plan President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan, He has one point plan! (ZINGER) Mitt Romney is a scam!!

08-23-2011, 08:51 PM	#30 (permalink)
sallylou Potterhead and Janeite Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 6,653	I would never cause anyone a loser. You're too hard on yourself. Maybe you're just a late bloomer. __________________

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