Would you date someone with kids?

KStiletto · 06-26-2011, 02:39 AM

This question is geared towards people who want to settle down in their late twenties, early thirties.

Would you date someone with kids? Yes or No.

Are any of you single parents that would not date someone with kids?

Is there a limit to the amount of children that the guy has? (5, 6, 7 kids.)
Your concise thoughts.

Steinhauer · 06-26-2011, 03:02 AM

I dated a woman who had 1 kid from a previous marriage. We got married. Later .. divorced. It wasn't the kids fault. I treated him like a son without replacing his dad.

That irked her to no end - she wanted a replacement for the dad. She wanted him out of the picture. That was where the problems began.

KStiletto · 06-26-2011, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

I dated a woman who had 1 kid from a previous marriage. We got married. Later .. divorced. It wasn't the kids fault. I treated him like a son without replacing his dad.

That irked her to no end - she wanted a replacement for the dad. She wanted him out of the picture. That was where the problems began.

So in this case, she wanted someone like him?

**Jiro** · 06-26-2011, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

I dated a woman who had 1 kid from a previous marriage. We got married. Later .. divorced. It wasn't the kids fault. I treated him like a son without replacing his dad.

That irked her to no end - she wanted a replacement for the dad. She wanted him out of the picture. That was where the problems began.

She wanted him out of picture but you don't?

**Jiro** · 06-26-2011, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KStiletto

This question is geared towards people who want to settle down in their late twenties, early thirties.

Would you date someone with kids? Yes or No.

Are any of you single parents that would not date someone with kids?

Is there a limit to the amount of children that the guy has? (5, 6, 7 kids.)
Your concise thoughts.

sure

**shel90** · 06-26-2011, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

I dated a woman who had 1 kid from a previous marriage. We got married. Later .. divorced. It wasn't the kids fault. I treated him like a son without replacing his dad.

That irked her to no end - she wanted a replacement for the dad. She wanted him out of the picture. That was where the problems began.

Sorry about that.

**shel90** · 06-26-2011, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

She wanted him out of picture but you don't?

I think he meant that he didnt want anything to do with kicking the father out of the child's life but the mother did by trying to make Steinhaur the father. That is my understanding if I read it correctly.

**shel90** · 06-26-2011, 08:42 AM

I was lucky that I had a lot of dates after my divorce with men who had no children. I was surprised because I figured that by having a small child (my daughter was 4 at the time), it would be a big turn off.

authentic · 06-26-2011, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KStiletto

This question is geared towards people who want to settle down in their late twenties, early thirties.

Would you date someone with kids? Yes or No.

Are any of you single parents that would not date someone with kids?

Is there a limit to the amount of children that the guy has? (5, 6, 7 kids.)
Your concise thoughts.

Ouch. YES OR NO is very bold question, but here I am trying to answer . . . I have dated two mothers with two little girls in the past, and after a week of dating, she expect me to be father role to two little girls which kinda turned me off. She need to understand that I need a time to know her first before accepting to be stepfather to their two little girls. Now, I am not afraid to try date with a gal who have kids, no problem at least she allow me to have a time to date with her, to get know her very well.

DeafCaroline · 06-26-2011, 09:58 AM

I would if their kids are the same age as mine.

Babyblue · 06-26-2011, 10:03 AM

I am with a man with two kids of his own. He was a single father and I was a single mother.

Working out great. Kids total up to be 4 of them now. 2 are mine, and two are his. We are all living together.

Glenn · 06-26-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

I am with a man with two kids of his own. He was a single father and I was a single mother.

Working out great. Kids total up to be 4 of them now. 2 are mine, and two are his. We are all living together.

You're a man and a single mother?

authentic · 06-26-2011, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

You're a man and a single mother?

Babyblue is female.

KStiletto · 06-26-2011, 10:45 AM

She said she was with a man, not that she is a man.

Glenn · 06-26-2011, 10:51 AM

......

**Jiro** · 06-26-2011, 10:53 AM

KStiletto · 06-26-2011, 10:56 AM

**sequoias** · 06-26-2011, 11:02 AM

Wirelessly posted (sent from a smartphone. )

Yes, I'm currently with my girlfriend who has 3 kids of her own. I do not have any kids at all as I have difficulty getting women pregnant. She accepts the fact and we move on. If it happens then that's the last kid we will have and she will get tied up. I accept to be father of 3 kids. It sure is hard work.

**Rio** · 06-26-2011, 12:22 PM

Wirelessly posted

I have dated guys with children. I went out w one guy, his daughter was 4 years when we first met. We went out for a pretty long time on/off. He's married now. In between the split, I met another guy, he was a college student working on his engineering degree, he had a daughter too. It's not so bad.

**shel90** · 06-26-2011, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

You're a man and a single mother?

Hey, men can be single moms and women can be single fathers. Nowadays, the family dynamics is up for anything.

Glenn · 06-26-2011, 01:00 PM

I had a reading lapse... sowwy!

Beach girl · 06-26-2011, 02:09 PM

I've mentioned that my father died when I was young. We had four kids in our family. When I was in my late teens, my mom (then aged 51), married a man with five sons.

It wasn't quite the madhouse it sounds like: his three oldest were already out on their own (two in the military, one in college). Those three never lived with us full-time, although the one in college spent part of his summers with us and lived with my parents for a short time just after college.

The two younger ones were part-time with their mother, part-time with us, and eventually for one of them, full-time with us. It all worked out fine. Those two younger ones are completely like brothers to us girls; everyone's kids are "nieces and nephews" to us all.

You have to be flexible and accepting of everyone's differences and if there is another parent involved, realize that there might be different house rules. That's fine; you can still enforce whatever "house rules" you think best for your own family. Just be prepared for having to explain them to the other parent as well as to the kids, if necessary.

Babyblue · 06-26-2011, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

You're a man and a single mother?

LOL!!!

I said....

Quote:

I am with a man with two kids of his own. He was a single father and I was a single mother

I am a female...

Babyblue · 06-26-2011, 02:27 PM

Mine is quite fun. Ages between the four are 16, 14, 13, and 11.. So the main thing is keeping groceries in the house.

They are all eating machines!!!

Glenn · 06-26-2011, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

LOL!!!

I said....

I am a female...

I know...I had to re-read it three times. I wasn't seeing "with" for some reason.

Steel X · 06-26-2011, 07:35 PM

It depends...but I think it's better to date someone who don't have kids when your in the 20s or 30s then eventually u marry her then can have kids with her as long as you two are pretty good so far.

whatdidyousay! · 06-26-2011, 07:48 PM

It would depend on the kids! If they where the kids from HELL I would not date a guy.

Babyblue · 06-26-2011, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

I know...I had to re-read it three times. I wasn't seeing "with" for some reason.

It's all good!

deafbajagal · 06-26-2011, 08:17 PM

My current husband told me that if he had to start dating again, he wouldn't date a girl with kids. (I have two girls previously, and both of them adore him. The youngest one calls him Daddy).

Ouch. I don't think my heart will ever heal from that one.

Awhite062109 · 06-26-2011, 08:21 PM

This is a sticky subject.. I have to say i would date someone with children.... I have a 6 year old child, it would help if his children where around the same age. I think the most important factor would be for they guy… not to trying to take over his father’s role... We had our differences of course and i don’t much care for him but he is the father... I think overall if you care about someone you are not with them for what they have or for what they can buy you or give you... but with them for who they are and take on what they bring along. I did like the comment about depends if they were kids from hell… lol…… acceptance and change are hard things to adapt to.

06-26-2011, 02:39 AM	#1 (permalink)
KStiletto Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Brooklyn, NYC Posts: 557	Would you date someone with kids? This question is geared towards people who want to settle down in their late twenties, early thirties. Would you date someone with kids? Yes or No. Are any of you single parents that would not date someone with kids? Is there a limit to the amount of children that the guy has? (5, 6, 7 kids.) Your concise thoughts.

06-26-2011, 08:42 AM	#8 (permalink)
shel90 Let It Snow!!!! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A place where crabs are popular Posts: 40,303 Blog Entries: 3	I was lucky that I had a lot of dates after my divorce with men who had no children. I was surprised because I figured that by having a small child (my daughter was 4 at the time), it would be a big turn off. __________________ "Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it." --- Anonymous

06-26-2011, 10:53 AM	#16 (permalink)
Jiro Aparecium Deletrius Legil Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The Soprano State Posts: 60,518	Smithtr, JClarke and Babyblue like this. __________________ - Don't forget to buy Jiro's Special Edition Sunglasses for $19.95

06-26-2011, 12:22 PM	#19 (permalink)
Rio Patriots Rock! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Patriots lockerroom Posts: 12,244 Blog Entries: 59	Wirelessly posted I have dated guys with children. I went out w one guy, his daughter was 4 years when we first met. We went out for a pretty long time on/off. He's married now. In between the split, I met another guy, he was a college student working on his engineering degree, he had a daughter too. It's not so bad. __________________ Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean Brady's back Proverbs 17:9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends

06-26-2011, 01:00 PM	#21 (permalink)
Glenn Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Washington Posts: 2,909	I had a reading lapse... sowwy! shel90 and KristinaB like this.

Today
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06-26-2011, 03:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
Steinhauer Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 8,191 Blog Entries: 1	I dated a woman who had 1 kid from a previous marriage. We got married. Later .. divorced. It wasn't the kids fault. I treated him like a son without replacing his dad. That irked her to no end - she wanted a replacement for the dad. She wanted him out of the picture. That was where the problems began.

06-26-2011, 09:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
DeafCaroline Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4,889	I would if their kids are the same age as mine.

06-26-2011, 10:03 AM	#11 (permalink)
Babyblue Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 12,001	I am with a man with two kids of his own. He was a single father and I was a single mother. Working out great. Kids total up to be 4 of them now. 2 are mine, and two are his. We are all living together.

06-26-2011, 10:45 AM	#14 (permalink)
KStiletto Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Brooklyn, NYC Posts: 557	She said she was with a man, not that she is a man.

06-26-2011, 10:51 AM	#15 (permalink)
Glenn Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Washington Posts: 2,909	......

06-26-2011, 10:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
KStiletto Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Brooklyn, NYC Posts: 557

06-26-2011, 11:02 AM	#18 (permalink)
sequoias Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Iowa, the land of the cornfields and pigs Posts: 21,865	Wirelessly posted (sent from a smartphone. ) Yes, I'm currently with my girlfriend who has 3 kids of her own. I do not have any kids at all as I have difficulty getting women pregnant. She accepts the fact and we move on. If it happens then that's the last kid we will have and she will get tied up. I accept to be father of 3 kids. It sure is hard work.

06-26-2011, 02:09 PM	#22 (permalink)
Beach girl Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: northern Virginia in winter; NC in summer Posts: 3,760	I've mentioned that my father died when I was young. We had four kids in our family. When I was in my late teens, my mom (then aged 51), married a man with five sons. It wasn't quite the madhouse it sounds like: his three oldest were already out on their own (two in the military, one in college). Those three never lived with us full-time, although the one in college spent part of his summers with us and lived with my parents for a short time just after college. The two younger ones were part-time with their mother, part-time with us, and eventually for one of them, full-time with us. It all worked out fine. Those two younger ones are completely like brothers to us girls; everyone's kids are "nieces and nephews" to us all. You have to be flexible and accepting of everyone's differences and if there is another parent involved, realize that there might be different house rules. That's fine; you can still enforce whatever "house rules" you think best for your own family. Just be prepared for having to explain them to the other parent as well as to the kids, if necessary.

06-26-2011, 02:27 PM	#24 (permalink)
Babyblue Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 12,001	Mine is quite fun. Ages between the four are 16, 14, 13, and 11.. So the main thing is keeping groceries in the house. They are all eating machines!!!

06-26-2011, 07:35 PM	#26 (permalink)
Steel X Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The Carolinas/Rochester, NY. Posts: 13,824	It depends...but I think it's better to date someone who don't have kids when your in the 20s or 30s then eventually u marry her then can have kids with her as long as you two are pretty good so far.

06-26-2011, 07:48 PM	#27 (permalink)
whatdidyousay! Registered User Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 8,617	It would depend on the kids! If they where the kids from HELL I would not date a guy.

06-26-2011, 08:17 PM	#29 (permalink)
deafbajagal Registered User Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,171	My current husband told me that if he had to start dating again, he wouldn't date a girl with kids. (I have two girls previously, and both of them adore him. The youngest one calls him Daddy). Ouch. I don't think my heart will ever heal from that one. Beach girl likes this.

06-26-2011, 08:21 PM	#30 (permalink)
Awhite062109 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 48	People with kids.. This is a sticky subject.. I have to say i would date someone with children.... I have a 6 year old child, it would help if his children where around the same age. I think the most important factor would be for they guy… not to trying to take over his father’s role... We had our differences of course and i don’t much care for him but he is the father... I think overall if you care about someone you are not with them for what they have or for what they can buy you or give you... but with them for who they are and take on what they bring along. I did like the comment about depends if they were kids from hell… lol…… acceptance and change are hard things to adapt to. Steinhauer likes this.

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