illuminator

Hi everyone,

I've been dating a girl who is HOH, it's going slow but it's going in the right direction. I was just curious on some output from women who are deaf or HOH for the following...

....I realize that a lot of you may have had a rough past/childhood dealing with ignorant idiots and such, and I am sure those experiences may have shaped your perspective as you grew up such as trust, security, etc.

I was wondering, do you like some elements of surprise from your guy or do you prefer to know the full map? For instance, I understand that in deaf culture, when they use ASL....literally everything is communicated, put in the open and laid out. It establishes, trust, respect, etc.

In a relationship, of course small elements of mystery surprises and stuff fuel the interest level between the couple. If you lay everything down, and everything is expected...it could start to get lame. Would you appreciate the former? Or would it make it you feel uncomfortable?

Feel free to toss out any of your thoughts!

Thanks,

Deafness

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NeonSocks

Hmmm...good question
I personally like everything to be laid out in the open, because then you really feel part of the other person's life and informed and such. Also, if you are looking for a really serious relationship, then eventually you will run out of surprises if you are together for a while anyway.

Beach girl

Hmmm.... I don't know about that (running out of surprises). I've been married for nearly 25 years, and we still manage to surprise each other from time to time.

It's important to be totally open about the big things: showing each other you care for each other, discussing your goals in life, being honest about whether those goals are compatible with each other or not. As the relationship gets more serious, it's important to be clear about how you handle finances (got debt?), whether or not you want children, where you see yourself living, and what kind of life you want.

Still, that leaves plenty of room for little surprises, unexpected gifts, fun excursions, that sort of thing. Life should be fun, and if giving someone little surprises is part of what makes it fun for you, then that is part of your honesty, part of your own presentation of yourself as who you are.

ladysolitary85

I completely agree with Beach

Just make sure to treat her as if you'd want to be treated. Some people are not as understanding about others being HOH or deaf as they should be if they want a relationship to come out of it.

Rio

Wirelessly posted

Treat me the same way he wants to be treated.

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Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean
Brady's back
Proverbs 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends

deafbajagal

I am still trying to figure this one out...

LDNanna

Good sense of humor, NEVER belittles me, always encouraging, bald and wrinkled. Oh, yeah and MUST like dogs, kids and be willing to try whatever I cook. .

Thats my man alright. I love that man o mine. We have been married long enough to think together. ha

SneakerNet

My wife and I never ran out of surprises even after 50's. I mostly do the surprises for her. As for one example, at night, I usually put a little note in her empty coffee cup in the kitchen cupboard and off to bed. When she get up in the morning, her feeling of little grouchy cuz you know everyone hate to get up early in the morning before going to work. As she went to get coffee, she came back with a big smile and giggle a little.

You know, there are thousand words for the day, you can make a simple note anywhere in the house to cheer her up.

SneakerNet

You know it can be a love notes but I also wrote short note reflection of her difficult day doing therapy with a child. She was pretty frustrated dealing with this child. So, she been talking with me about it. Then later, when I was thinking about our discussion...then it came to my mind so I decided to write a little note and stick it on the bathroom mirror before going to bed... I wrote:

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" - Frederick Douglass

You know it can be anything... That what bring two hearts closer together.

DeafCaroline

Funny to say but it turns out what was not my ideal guy IS my ideal guy.

Haha...what I expect from my ideal guy is love, respect, consideration, humour and fun-loving. Not prone to finding fault.

dereksbicycles

I've found that my girlfriend like surprises. Don't be afraid to surprises. Be creative. Think of something new!!