Angel

Your spouse has confessed after the affair and promised to be honest from now on. How do you rebuild all those shattered pieces and trust your spouse again?...

__________________
"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Deafness

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

Cheri

I never been married or Isn't Currently Married...I would say if He made a promise to me that he would end the affair and stay with me I would possible Not accept that because I believe once a cheater would always be a cheater...If he love me he wouldn't have had the affair the first Place. I would have a hard time trusting him again and Trusting is a very Important Factor in a relationship if there isn't no Trust there isn't no Relationship.


*Hugs* Good Thread Twinie.....

__________________
Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

GalaxyAngel

Affair.. worst nightmare.. *forg-e-e-et it*

__________________

Parent's proud our children.

coffeeeeman

You don't

Kalista

At once your spouse admitted that he had an affair. Forgive him and move back with you. It will be recycle as forever. At once he made a mistake, he would continue like that.

I did forgive my ex husband twice !! I end up threw him out of my life !

When you make a mistake, it is hardly to change urself !! I do not trust with any men who are a player or love women.

Mistyrose

Well, to me, it would be very very hard to do so!..it would depend on circumstances really...like if there are small children in the family, probably could give him a second chance..if he did it again, then divorce the bum!!!

Peachy Lady

I know my husband will never have affair on me. I told him if he ever had affair while being married to me, that the marriage would end. He treasure me and he would not even dare flirt with any women. He told me that his worst fear in his life is to lose me. I would do the same for him by being faithful and true to him. We are christian and believe in being faithful to each other. Our eyes are locked onto each other forever.

Cheri

Like Most People say they can look but cannot Touch. I love that Phrase.

__________________
Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

Catmandu

If he confessed it to me then I will forgive him, but I make sure that he doesn't forget how I feel.

If he doesn't confess and I find out the truth myself then I will not forgive him, but I'll make sure that he understand that there's no chance for "us".

Socrates

He didn't confess it to me, being married and together for such a long time, I learned it the hard way, it broke me in a million pieces to find out he loved & lusted for another woman while being married to me. Now I'm with my significant other and I have found what love truly means.

Mistyrose

Aww thats sad! thats terrible for what he did to you! Its his loss cuz you are truly a great lady! Im glad that you found someone and its a wonderful true love for both of you!

TweetyBird

my ex hubby did cheated on me while i was at home for a whole weekend, then he came home and my heart and guts told me that he already cheated on me... i already knew it!!! i never forgive him for that but i accpeted be his friend cuz of i dont wanna WAR divorce that why!!

Roadrunner

Although your question here in this thread is about AFTER an affair, what would you do?
It would mean sooo much to me and for what I hold dearly in my heart is this: I wouldn't DARE consider having an affair, for the things that goes with it like; broken trust, ill-feelings, awkwardness, faith being shattered within the marriage and plenty more sticky feelings and emotions attached to an 'affair'...it's NEVER worth its moments...which spirals the conformity of the marriage relationship into the realm of chaos beyond repair...is it worth it? With an affirmative NO!!!!!!!!! My eyes and heartfelt love is faithfully locked upon ^Angel^...I wouldn't ever want to shatter her world by committing an affair! The thoughts I uphold for her is genuine and faithful...and will be until my last breath gives away....

So, therefore, I do NOT have an answer to the 'after', cuz there won't be any...but for those that have succumbed to having a partner being involved in an affair...it could be easily said 'how or what to do' when it is much harder to 'do it'...and that is to 'forgive' as the One above would do, and seek counseling through a viable and certified counselor or minister/priest....in my most heartfelt opinion.

__________________
"Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much." - Erastus Wiman

Y

Sorry, Angel... I do NOT have an answer
to this "AFTER" only because this
is something that I can NOT deal
with this... thats why I decide myself
NEVER to get married NEVER...
I simply do NOT know how to
"trust him" or "forgive him"
no matter what he said etc...
Even if he is a billionaire,
I still can NOT trust him enough
to marry him anyway....

__________________

Oceanbreeze

Originally Posted by ^Angel^
Your spouse has confessed after the affair and promised to be honest from now on. How do you rebuild all those shattered pieces and trust your spouse again?...



That's right. You don't. I believe that the bitterness that results stays for a lifetime, and there will always be questions in that person's mind. Once someone cheats, it's virtually impossible to rebuild trust. I am not a big advocator of divorce, but this is one scenerio in which, it is better for the couple to just go their seperate ways. Especially, if children are involved.

__________________
"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

icecl_out1

you don't trust your spouse again. if your spouse is willing to cheat on you once...that shows he isn't in the relationship one hundred percent...so maybe he will do it again...and if he cheats and finds you take him back...he may keep cheating knowing you'll take him back. my last girlfriend cheated on me and admitted it and i never took her back b/c i think it's like kids...if they do something wrong and aren't punished...they'll keep doing it knowing they get away with it. (make sense?)

icecl_out1

I agree Roadrunner...cheating is NEVER worth anything. I could never cheat on my girlfriend. I love her too much to do that to her. Besides it shouldn't be done at all. The reason you do marry is because you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and be loyal to them so why mess that up? Personally I think cheating is just wrong and if someone cheats they can never be fully trusted again.

Brian

I'd not cheat on my girlfriend. If I didn't love her, I'd tell her right away and not commit adultery/have affair in any way.

I know plenty of people doing adultery/having affairs when they aren't legally divorced. I think is very wrong!

horselover61

Cheating is not a nice word to me at all. Cuz my exh have cheated on me many times. I cant trust him at all. He claim that I can but I dont. That is why I divorced him. Now that he married again and want cheated on his wife with me. I say NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYYYYYY and he knows how I feel about it. Forget it. Dealing with it is really hard and it not easy to get over it til you kick that bum out of your life.

Mistyrose

Smart girl! Pomeranian!.

Gemtun

There are many different types of affairs. I guess the answer varies for me, depends on what kind of affair he had with another woman while being with me.

My ex husband had an emotional affair with a colleague of his for years while being married to me. They didn't have sex or anything but confided in each other things that he should have told only me. I thought I was losing my mind until I came across an email she sent to him and it dawned on me what was going on. Needless to say, we divorced but it wasn't because of that affair..we had other things happening.

I will never stay with a man after any type of affair because I value trust so much ..what is the point of giving him another chance yet I will always be paranoid and snooping around in his belongings? No way ..I want someone who I could look at with pure heart, not nagging suspicisions.

horselover61

Thanks

Kalista

Meg

Absolutely, I would be mental unstable if I constantly to snooping around a man’s pants, car, suit, etc… It is not such a good health to do this.

I am tired of find many hotel receipts and condoms. Glad, I do not see these stuffs within 8 years. I feel so peaceful and relax. I sleep very well rest of the nights with a teddy bear.

Mistyrose

There u go, Sabrina! u smart too! Any woman who is brave enough to leave their azzholed spouses or boyfriends is smart in my book! If my hubby ever cheat on me or whatever that is not acceptable, i will leave right away!! no tolerance!

Mistyrose

Hey Pomeranian..umm did you have another sn?? like Deafkaratefemale? (DKF)..and Youre welcome!

Gemtun

The worst experience with a man cheating on me was that I was with this guy for 8 years. We were engaged and everything. Then one summer I had an internship in another state so I left for two months, believing that he would remain faithful to me.

When I returned, I found out he got a girl pregnant accidently on their one night stand. All of my dreams were crushed. I was utterly devastated that he could be such a a**hole, wasting 8 years of my youth. I did not think I could survive life but I forced myself to keep going and never looked back.

He went on to marry her but they divorced a few years later. A few years ago, he called me to see if we could go out on a date. I told him he is not worth a minute of mine and hung up. But I still hear that he is still wondering about me.

Affairs are extremely devastating - so my heart goes out to you Sabrina. Thank godness you have your teddy bear nowadays

Socrates

She's the famous "HYAH!" chick!

Mistyrose

I knew it..as i have seen her say HYAH in other threads! that sneaky skank!
LOL!

Nancy

I second the motion. Socretes, you are a great lady and I am happy for you that you found someone in your life and you are happy now.

Fly Free

ive had ex's cheat on me and i know theyre not worth my time to ppl who cheats on their partners

__________________
Enjoying life!