ember

I would like know why is it a deal breaker for men when looks are involved but not when a woman in mentally or emotionally unstable?

Deafness

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craigm26

haha sooooooooooooooooooooo untrue

craigm26

It might be the man who wants to "save" her or he wants to cling on to somebody who will accept him.

ember

Craig really

I have a friend who is great, funny, intelligent, etc... but she isn't mainstream attractive and I watch her over and over meet guys online and things seem to be great as long as they are talking thru email but as soon as they see her its over.

Then there is Halle Berry and she is crazy as all get out and men drool over her

posts from hell

Halle Berry, that explains.

ember

that explains what?

craigm26

eh...you gotta have *some* physical attraction.

but you can't also be crazy either. Not saying the dudes are *right* but it's better to not force it and let them grow up.

I didn't know Halley Berry was crazy. Never met her, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

ember

I'm just saying if "all" your exes claim your are mentally altered everybody can't be lying, but every new guy falls for her anyway because she is beautiful. Now is she were some other actress or a fuller figured woman I bet the same would not be true

craigm26

people have different meanings to "beautiful" some (errr probably most men) probably think it's more physical than it is about her mind/soul.

ember

which is my point exactly, why is it that the physical attractiveness out weighs the mind/soul


*disclaimer*
I am not asking for personal reasons or because this is something that affects me personally, I am just interested in a males perspective, I know what females think.

craigm26

what do females think?

For men, I think it's part of it...but definitely not all of it. There's no real "formula" or whatever...it's just preferences and probably some "preferred" attractiveness that most men would agree on

warpedpink

Not to seem rude, but maybe your friend is chasing after guys that are out of her league? I have to agree with Craig.. There has to be some physical attraction.
Besides, women are the same way. Looks matter.. for some men and women, it matters more than it should.

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ember

Females think for men its all about the physical either you are "hawt" or not. Its all about the physical and if you aren't that physically attractive he has to "grow on you" what!

Most guys could care less about the level of my intelligence they just think I am cute and I have a soft voice so they think I am sweet... lol I don't know about all that

craigm26

maybe she has amazing eyes...an incredible depth of some subject...or she's just amazing period....the dudes that go "well she must have this or that" are full of it and they know it cause it's incredible how unique everybody is and it's up to them if they want to care as much as to know and love that person.

ember

Why is there a league?

warpedpink

shrugs. good question.. there shouldnt be but there are.

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craigm26

Probably because there's different types of intelligence out there...?...I know "league" is a figure of speech, but usually when someone uses it, I think about how they might perceive or could be masters/not so much a master in different areas of intelligence. Like...social intelligence, emotional intelligence...and so on...

My friend (30-year old virgin) uses that phrase but I tell him to enjoy the ride and know himself first and then try to "correct" basic "weird"/creepy-guy stuff like ...not making eye-contact. He doesn't have to, but I tell him that because I know that'll help him in many ways that are beneficial in the long run...it might be painful at first but he'll get over it. I hope.

Anyways...yeah "league" kinda relevant ..kinda not...depends on how you use it I guess.

warpedpink

........ what he said. lol

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TWA

It's primitive.

We are wired to look for and choose the best mate possible in order to propagate our lineage. If our instincts are telling us that the other person doesn't match up physically, then it's a no-go. Can't really do anything about it. It's nice to think that humans can be attracted to each other because of their inner beauty, intelligence, etc., but the truth (sad or not) is that physical attraction is an extremely important part of the equation.

For me, I definitely wouldn't date a nujob, no matter how beautiful or sexy she is. I'd like to think that most non-douchebag men are the same way. The problem is, finding out that someone is mentally unstable usually takes more time than determining that they are physically beautiful...

posts from hell

Truer words never had been spoken.

But yeah, once I did have the chance to discover a lady was a nutjob within minutes. I kicked her out of the jeep to the curb.

planetdoodle

Well all my ex girlfriends were cute and unstable,i rather have not so cute and stable now(not to stable though)

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LUCKY THE BEAGLE

ember

Now that makes sense to me but I have a question. When men (as waredpink so corrected me) and women are not interested in propagation, why does this internal instinct still dominate?

(It does for sure because personal desire for children is "eh" and yet looks aren't highly important but they matter)

TWA

Well, it's just biology. You have to remember that the human history of actually "having a life" beyond fulfilling the basic survival needs of food, shelter, and a viable mate is what, maybe 10,000 years old, starting with the rise of agriculture? Human beings, as a species, have been around for millions of years, and the reason we are still around is because of those instincts that you are questioning. It's part of our very nature. It's not something that will easily go away. Give it another million years and we'll see what happens.

craigm26

In other words men lived to be like 20 and tried to make babies as they saw little risk in procreating. Women, it's riskier because it's nine months and much more riskier.

SneakerNet

Try to think of other way, why men are attracted to men and not woman? Why women attracted to women and not man?
Why some men attracted to 600 lbs women? or vise versa?
Yes, attraction is part of the equation but for some reason, in the gene or DNA structure have "preference" in their mind.

it's same thing about why people vomit so easily when they saw a blood on the floor? where other people don't? It all related to chemicals that create while at birth. When the baby born, this baby suddenly become a 'gay' preference but he/she may not noticed until later life.

For me, I married to my 2nd ex and she's not all that attractive but she's is extremely intelligent and cause us to talk 24/7 about everything. It just my attraction to a person who able to understand us. My gene doesn't look for hawt lady, I will vomit when I see hawt blondie, with EE size boobies and low V top with her cleavage about to pop. You know... Same thing I seen people get grossed out when see ugly feet and she couldn't date him. The feet are not that bad to me.. but for her yes. You know?

I'm very attactive where women drooled over me but when I see this gorgeous woman..bleh.. that is my preferrence.

ember

lmao you seem to have a small fixation on vomit... but yes I understand