Guys not interested in Deaf/HOH Girls?

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 04:38 PM

Sooo my biggest dating problem is that I can't seem to find a guy that is Deaf/HOH like me (would love to date same as me) So I date mostly hearing, but they aren't willing to learn sign for me or if using voice they can't repeat for me. Grrrr.

Where are all the good guys willing to date me for me not my hearing?! Or where are the good Deaf/HOH guys at?

posts from hell · 02-01-2011, 04:46 PM

I see them everywhere. Where are you?

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 04:50 PM

I'm in massachusetts.

posts from hell · 02-01-2011, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRBergy

I'm in massachusetts.

No way, there's a lot of deaf guys there.

Are you near Boston or the Berkshires?

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 04:53 PM

Boston!

reallyyyy.. do you know any? hah

Where are you from?

posts from hell · 02-01-2011, 04:59 PM

Im from Boulder, Colorado. I have family in the Berkshires and Stockbridge.

I know quite a few people in Boston. How old are you?

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 04:59 PM

I am 24.

posts from hell · 02-01-2011, 05:01 PM

cool

superstar · 02-01-2011, 05:05 PM

I like a deaf girl and im hoping she will like and dates hearing.. I am willing to learn asl and try to learn as much I can online. now if shes not in to me like that I wont be bummed or feel like I wasted time learning the language because its important to know how to communicate with others and its good for life.

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 05:21 PM

Yes absolutely =) I still have some hearing, but I think regardless Sign Language is a beautiful language and Deaf Culture is amazing.

sheila022 · 02-01-2011, 05:37 PM

Yo, I'm living in Boston too (Cambridge, actually). And I'm 20 years old. I also have a wonderful deaf boyfriend on the other side of coast. I'm sure there's guys out there who would like you no matter if you're deaf or not.

What part of Boston do you live now? xD

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 05:46 PM

I actually live on the south shore, Plymouth

oh wow, so you do long distance relationship? That's cool, how did you meet?

sheila022 · 02-01-2011, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRBergy

I actually live on the south shore, Plymouth

oh wow, so you do long distance relationship? That's cool, how did you meet?

Wow, far from Cambridge, aren't you?

Yah, we're in long distance relationship and we met through a mutual friend who knows both of us and just introduced both of us because I was in the process of applying to his college. So, what are you doing in South Shore? Graduated from college, etc?

RabidLamn · 02-01-2011, 05:52 PM

Well the biggest problem many hearing and deaf people have with dating eachother is... They both live in absolutely different culture and just cannot adjust for another one.

Deaf community are very small and it seems like as if everybody know eachother and already dated half of the community and often are friend with a ex or whoever. This really threw hearing people off. Plus many deaf people are very critiquing toward deaf who date hearing especially if hearing don't know signing.

Hearing world... Well not everyone want to take time to slow down for deaf person, it is hard to take time to sit down and communication with deaf person, etc... And deaf person often pretty much "shut down" once they're in hearing world.

So if they want to date eachother, they MUST be able to fully interact with at least one community, understand the custom and culture of that community, willing to spend most of their life in it, and be able to weather the storm if one of the community have a issue. Or... Just have a separate life.

FFHavoK · 02-01-2011, 06:03 PM

I think a lot of it has to do with hearing people just not understanding the Deaf community... But for a hearing person to be able to date a Deaf person, it takes a lot of patience on both parties, openness, understanding, and obviously some means of communication. I think it would make for an even closer relationship should they be able to make it work, because that can be a big obstacle to overcome. Some might be intimidated by that. Personally, I would welcome it should the situation arise (but then again, I am learning ASL and am willing to continue to do so)

JRBergy · 02-01-2011, 06:10 PM

FFHAVoK I think you put it well and RabidLamn

I am part of the hearing world. I attended Gallaudet and experienced Deaf Culture, but I interact more in the hearing world, so like you say it is hard for people in the hearing world to have patience to slow down and communicate with me although I do have some hearing many people do not want to take the time out to repeat things.

RabidLamn · 02-01-2011, 06:23 PM

I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose.
Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left.

Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school.
But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people.
My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me.

**Jiro** · 02-01-2011, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RabidLamn

Well the biggest problem many hearing and deaf people have with dating eachother is... They both live in absolutely different culture and just cannot adjust for another one.

Deaf community are very small and it seems like as if everybody know eachother and already dated half of the community and often are friend with a ex or whoever. This really threw hearing people off. Plus many deaf people are very critiquing toward deaf who date hearing especially if hearing don't know signing.

Hearing world... Well not everyone want to take time to slow down for deaf person, it is hard to take time to sit down and communication with deaf person, etc... And deaf person often pretty much "shut down" once they're in hearing world.

So if they want to date eachother, they MUST be able to fully interact with at least one community, understand the custom and culture of that community, willing to spend most of their life in it, and be able to weather the storm if one of the community have a issue. Or... Just have a separate life.

I feel sorry for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RabidLamn

I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose.
Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left.

Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school.
But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people.
My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me.

worst advice ever. no wonder you had a bad experience with deaf community

and beside - why are you in AD if you don't like deaf community?

**Jiro** · 02-01-2011, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRBergy

Sooo my biggest dating problem is that I can't seem to find a guy that is Deaf/HOH like me (would love to date same as me) So I date mostly hearing, but they aren't willing to learn sign for me or if using voice they can't repeat for me. Grrrr.

Where are all the good guys willing to date me for me not my hearing?! Or where are the good Deaf/HOH guys at?

plenty of Deaf/HOH in Boston.

**KarissaMann05** · 02-01-2011, 06:53 PM

Wirelessly posted

I think it is better if a hearing person knows ASL or any sign language, then it should not a problem for both deaf and hearing.

If a deaf person wants to learn how to speak and listen, then his/her hearing sweetheart could help too!

I am positive that there are successful relationships without communication problems. Of course, not always; I know the reality.

**shel90** · 02-01-2011, 07:04 PM

I am married to a hearing guy who is fluent in ASL and our marriage is great!

**KarissaMann05** · 02-01-2011, 07:06 PM

Wirelessly posted

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I am married to a hearing guy who is fluent in ASL and our marriage is great!

**SneakerNet** · 02-01-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I am married to a hearing guy who is fluent in ASL and our marriage is great!

Yeah..I married to hearing woman who is terp and our brain are so different!! It's like an collision course.... well.. it's like we are so innocent, love at first sight... then 8 years later.. we just realize our brain don't fit well.

**shel90** · 02-01-2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SneakerNet

Yeah..I married to hearing woman who is terp and our brain are so different!! It's like an collision course.... well.. it's like we are so innocent, love at first sight... then 8 years later.. we just realize our brain don't fit well.

So, you are no longer with her?

sheila022 · 02-01-2011, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SneakerNet

Yeah..I married to hearing woman who is terp and our brain are so different!! It's like an collision course.... well.. it's like we are so innocent, love at first sight... then 8 years later.. we just realize our brain don't fit well.

and that took you EIGHT years to figure that out? just wowieee!

RabidLamn · 02-01-2011, 07:59 PM

Jiro if my advice is so bad then... At least share some advice. But I'd bet you don't have any.

blank canvas · 02-01-2011, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RabidLamn

Jiro if my advice is so bad then... At least share some advice. But I'd bet you don't have any.

Why do you feel the need to poke everyone... calm down, hop like a bunny and chill

RabidLamn · 02-01-2011, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blank canvas

Why do you feel the need to poke everyone... calm down, hop like a bunny and chill

Poke?! What do you call bashing someone advice without any explanation then?

ember · 02-01-2011, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RabidLamn

I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose.
Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left.

Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school.
But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people.
My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me.

Rabidlamn did you find the right person and step away from your playa playa ways

RabidLamn · 02-01-2011, 08:20 PM

LMAO you noticed that? I may have eyes on one

She's sooo adorable!

02-01-2011, 04:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	Guys not interested in Deaf/HOH Girls? Sooo my biggest dating problem is that I can't seem to find a guy that is Deaf/HOH like me (would love to date same as me) So I date mostly hearing, but they aren't willing to learn sign for me or if using voice they can't repeat for me. Grrrr. Where are all the good guys willing to date me for me not my hearing?! Or where are the good Deaf/HOH guys at?

02-01-2011, 05:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
sheila022 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 1,536	Yo, I'm living in Boston too (Cambridge, actually). And I'm 20 years old. I also have a wonderful deaf boyfriend on the other side of coast. I'm sure there's guys out there who would like you no matter if you're deaf or not. What part of Boston do you live now? xD __________________

02-01-2011, 05:52 PM	#14 (permalink)
RabidLamn Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A wonderful artistic city Posts: 172	Well the biggest problem many hearing and deaf people have with dating eachother is... They both live in absolutely different culture and just cannot adjust for another one. Deaf community are very small and it seems like as if everybody know eachother and already dated half of the community and often are friend with a ex or whoever. This really threw hearing people off. Plus many deaf people are very critiquing toward deaf who date hearing especially if hearing don't know signing. Hearing world... Well not everyone want to take time to slow down for deaf person, it is hard to take time to sit down and communication with deaf person, etc... And deaf person often pretty much "shut down" once they're in hearing world. So if they want to date eachother, they MUST be able to fully interact with at least one community, understand the custom and culture of that community, willing to spend most of their life in it, and be able to weather the storm if one of the community have a issue. Or... Just have a separate life. __________________ RabidLamn was suppose to be RabidLamb but... typo slip past my attention "I was trolled by the OP in another thread that was removed. I saw the bait, so tender, bouncing in front of me. My mouth watered." by Saywhatkid

02-01-2011, 06:23 PM	#17 (permalink)
RabidLamn Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A wonderful artistic city Posts: 172	I also attended Gallaudet for a semester but was really unhappy there so I got kicked out on purpose. Hell I doesn't even want to be there in the first place but was pressured into it which was incredibly STUPID move on everyone parts include mine for saying yes! Especially considering the fact I pretty much stay well away from anything related to deaf community from middle school until the last year in high school. I think I pretty much got in simply because I was president of a deaf club that die out for various reasons as soon as I left. Since you're 24, I am not surprise if you're having a bit problem with hearing world. I was almost 19 when I got kicked out of Gallaudet and I was left on my own with almost no real friends and have to learn how to interact in real world. I quickly learned that it is nothing like high school. But over years I learn the best way is to find your niche in the hearing world and then you'll find your people. My advice is, try to have as much one on one time with hearing friends as possible and try to not put yourself in spot where you'll be forced to socializing with large number of hearing people unless there's some activity that won't involve lot of talking. Then you'll eventually separate out those who socialize a lot and those who prefer being lone or in a small group, then that's when you'll bump into the right person. At least that is what work for me. __________________ RabidLamn was suppose to be RabidLamb but... typo slip past my attention "I was trolled by the OP in another thread that was removed. I saw the bait, so tender, bouncing in front of me. My mouth watered." by Saywhatkid

02-01-2011, 06:53 PM	#20 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 Premium Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 6,378	Wirelessly posted I think it is better if a hearing person knows ASL or any sign language, then it should not a problem for both deaf and hearing. If a deaf person wants to learn how to speak and listen, then his/her hearing sweetheart could help too! I am positive that there are successful relationships without communication problems. Of course, not always; I know the reality. __________________ "Pragmatic language is a vital social skill that enables the school-aged child to navigate their way through demanding social situations." -- R. Owens

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

02-01-2011, 04:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
posts from hell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,434	I see them everywhere. Where are you?

02-01-2011, 04:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	I'm in massachusetts.

02-01-2011, 04:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	Boston! reallyyyy.. do you know any? hah Where are you from?

02-01-2011, 04:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
posts from hell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,434	Im from Boulder, Colorado. I have family in the Berkshires and Stockbridge. I know quite a few people in Boston. How old are you?

02-01-2011, 04:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	I am 24.

02-01-2011, 05:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
posts from hell Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,434	cool

02-01-2011, 05:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
superstar Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 18	I like a deaf girl and im hoping she will like and dates hearing.. I am willing to learn asl and try to learn as much I can online. now if shes not in to me like that I wont be bummed or feel like I wasted time learning the language because its important to know how to communicate with others and its good for life.

02-01-2011, 05:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	Yes absolutely =) I still have some hearing, but I think regardless Sign Language is a beautiful language and Deaf Culture is amazing.

02-01-2011, 05:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	I actually live on the south shore, Plymouth oh wow, so you do long distance relationship? That's cool, how did you meet?

02-01-2011, 06:03 PM	#15 (permalink)
FFHavoK Registered User Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Frederick MD Posts: 68	I think a lot of it has to do with hearing people just not understanding the Deaf community... But for a hearing person to be able to date a Deaf person, it takes a lot of patience on both parties, openness, understanding, and obviously some means of communication. I think it would make for an even closer relationship should they be able to make it work, because that can be a big obstacle to overcome. Some might be intimidated by that. Personally, I would welcome it should the situation arise (but then again, I am learning ASL and am willing to continue to do so)

02-01-2011, 06:10 PM	#16 (permalink)
JRBergy Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 8	FFHAVoK I think you put it well and RabidLamn I am part of the hearing world. I attended Gallaudet and experienced Deaf Culture, but I interact more in the hearing world, so like you say it is hard for people in the hearing world to have patience to slow down and communicate with me although I do have some hearing many people do not want to take the time out to repeat things.

02-01-2011, 07:04 PM	#21 (permalink)
shel90 Let It Snow!!!! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A place where crabs are popular Posts: 40,271 Blog Entries: 3	I am married to a hearing guy who is fluent in ASL and our marriage is great! __________________ "Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it." --- Anonymous

02-01-2011, 07:59 PM	#26 (permalink)
RabidLamn Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A wonderful artistic city Posts: 172	Jiro if my advice is so bad then... At least share some advice. But I'd bet you don't have any. __________________ RabidLamn was suppose to be RabidLamb but... typo slip past my attention "I was trolled by the OP in another thread that was removed. I saw the bait, so tender, bouncing in front of me. My mouth watered." by Saywhatkid

02-01-2011, 08:20 PM	#30 (permalink)
RabidLamn Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A wonderful artistic city Posts: 172	LMAO you noticed that? I may have eyes on one She's sooo adorable! __________________ RabidLamn was suppose to be RabidLamb but... typo slip past my attention "I was trolled by the OP in another thread that was removed. I saw the bait, so tender, bouncing in front of me. My mouth watered." by Saywhatkid

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode