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Old 04-28-2004, 08:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Wink Watching Others Realtionships Crash and Burn...

Talk about uncomfortable moments.. have you witness ur friends Relationship Fell through do u get involved? Have you watched all this and seeing their relationship go down the tubes? What do you do? get involved or just be a friend and offer a shoulder to cry on?


For me I tried not to get Involved, All I can do is Give My Friend an advice Only if She or He wants one and Listen and be Caring.And offer my Shoulder for her or Him to cry on.
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Old 04-29-2004, 10:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Erm, I would have to sit and watch helplessly. After all it's their mistake etc. But you can offer advices but best let the other person ask for them first. I'd wait until she or he needs a shoulder to cry on *preparing a box of tissue*
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Old 04-30-2004, 12:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I would let them lay on the table and talk about it -- I sit and listern.... would give them huggies and express it out from their chest.... that is what i am doing so far...
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Old 04-30-2004, 02:13 AM   #4 (permalink)
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that's a tough decision.

personally i don't want to get involved into the problems. however i like to give advices what to do and what should not do. yet.. i pray it will never happen to me, because i hate to see people break up just cuz my advice is terrible. or because i didn't help with a thing.
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Old 04-30-2004, 06:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm currently going through that position. My good friend's going through a hard time with her partner and recently, she's been getting repetitive saying she was going to leave him as she's tired of all the crap he throws on her, etc.
I've only been there to offer support, listen and try to give suggestions and things like that. It's always a very awkward and difficult position because both are my friends, and don't want them to think I'm on ONE side -- I'm on neutral grounds and offer support and sounding board, but not show favourism. You know?
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Old 04-30-2004, 07:27 AM   #6 (permalink)
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MizzDeaf sez, "I would let them lay on the table.......". Would that session with you include a meal? LOL!
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Old 04-30-2004, 08:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Been there and done that, I gave my friend a shoulder to cry on, and to offer support, listen and advice what to do, until her husband came to tell me to get LOST!!!

Best of all, not to get INVOLVED in third party. Its catch 22
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Old 04-30-2004, 08:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Me 2....I always give my friend a shoulder to cry on and to listen and give whatever advice I can think of....

I wouldn't jump into the middle between them two but if there's abuse involved of course I will ' get in between ' and ' end it '...
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Old 04-30-2004, 11:47 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I've seen a lot of relationships crash and burn. I had one friend who was dating this gal, who was also a friend if mine. The weird thing was that he was having an affair with this other gal. That other gal was also a friend of mine. I later found out that the gal that this guy was originally dating was also having an affair with another guy. That other guy was also a friend of mine. To make things even worse, that other guy and that other gal were also dating. So, it's a double affair going on behind each others' back. I saw how it was all happening. So, I just left it alone and watched it from the shadows. Eek!
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Old 04-30-2004, 12:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VamPyroX
I've seen a lot of relationships crash and burn. I had one friend who was dating this gal, who was also a friend if mine. The weird thing was that he was having an affair with this other gal. That other gal was also a friend of mine. I later found out that the gal that this guy was originally dating was also having an affair with another guy. That other guy was also a friend of mine. To make things even worse, that other guy and that other gal were also dating. So, it's a double affair going on behind each others' back. I saw how it was all happening. So, I just left it alone and watched it from the shadows. Eek!

Some Nice Friend you are.. How would u feel if some Girl did that to you behide ur back would u rather to have ur friend tell u about it or get hurted or burned by her Later?
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Old 04-30-2004, 12:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I remember few years ago. I walked in the restaurant and saw a male who is my best friend. He sat with a lady with rub on her legs. They giggled each other. The host was guiding my friends and me to the table, which is next to them. I told the host, I did rather to sit another side of site table because I want to be pretend that I did not see him. Somehow, he studdentlycaught me with his pale face.

My friends point their fingers at them. Oh they are Deaf at that table. I said, shut up go to another table. My friends perplexed and stared at me. They asked me, what was wrong with me? I said, I rather not discuss that. Let change other subject. I would not even look at his face when I walked by his table. He is engaged to that lady. Oh gosh, I did not say a word for while. He called me that night to meet with me somewhere else place. I told him that I rather not involve with his problem. That was between him and his fiancée. Oh dear, it puts me in the middle of the situation. I was not expectly seeing him to be with other woman.

I do not want this man could accuse me if I will tell his fiancée that I saw him with other woman. It was so hard on me to be pretend that I did not know. Jeeze ! I never mention this to anyone since then... I do not know about their relationship so far.
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Old 04-30-2004, 12:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I am neutral person...
I often withness the happened like what Vampy & Sabrina stated in the past...

They come to me for my shoulder to have a good cry... I do is give them good tips & advices... I do is try to get them TOGETHER, make up peace, friends again...

I once tried to save the people´s marriage whom they are my good friends.
I told them in different way that "I don´t want to influence on you because your wife´s my friend but I would like to help you to save your marriage with her if you let me". He listen my tips...
I also told her the same thing what I said to her husband because her husband is also my good friend, too.
I only do is help them to save their marriage... I told them if my tips doesn´t work then go to see marriage counsller if they really want to save their marriage.
Unfortunlately their marriage doesn´t work. I can´t do anything to help them because my tips doesn´t help them enough.
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Old 04-30-2004, 01:20 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I would butt out of other people's relationships. I usually feel that it can create further friction if you get involved.

For example, right now I'm seeing a wonderful guy who has a rather possessive ex-girlfriend. She keeps butting into our relationship, or IM-ing me asking me if he is with me, etc. I choose to ignore her, even through I woudln't mind talking to her for a little bit. She constantly bothers me, and I noticed that it has become a weary subject on the relationship between him and I. So right now I don't bother bringing her up anymore, even through she keeps bugging us. Just feels more relaxed that way.
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Old 04-30-2004, 01:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_KJ
I would butt out of other people's relationships. I usually feel that it can create further friction if you get involved.

For example, right now I'm seeing a wonderful guy who has a rather possessive ex-girlfriend. She keeps butting into our relationship, or IM-ing me asking me if he is with me, etc. I choose to ignore her, even through I woudln't mind talking to her for a little bit. She constantly bothers me, and I noticed that it has become a weary subject on the relationship between him and I. So right now I don't bother bringing her up anymore, even through she keeps bugging us. Just feels more relaxed that way.

Sounds like a Jealous Ex Girlfriend. I don't blame you for feeling that way. As long you have him to urself thats all it matters right?
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Old 04-30-2004, 03:41 PM   #15 (permalink)
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i usually prefer to stand on the sidelines letting the couple deal with it themselves on their best abilities -- on occasions ive been practically PULLED into the situations making me smack in the middle of them 2 -- and i listen to both sides -- mainly theyre a "she said/she said" issue and i try to give them suggestions on how to communicate with eachother
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Old 05-01-2004, 12:27 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Tousi
MizzDeaf sez, "I would let them lay on the table.......". Would that session with you include a meal? LOL!

Ummm, I not mean that -- just a tale telling
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Old 05-01-2004, 09:44 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VamPyroX
I've seen a lot of relationships crash and burn. I had one friend who was dating this gal, who was also a friend if mine. The weird thing was that he was having an affair with this other gal. That other gal was also a friend of mine. I later found out that the gal that this guy was originally dating was also having an affair with another guy. That other guy was also a friend of mine. To make things even worse, that other guy and that other gal were also dating. So, it's a double affair going on behind each others' back. I saw how it was all happening. So, I just left it alone and watched it from the shadows. Eek!
Smart!
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