Dating Deaf / Hearing (probably lots of threads on this huh?)

[San]

Hello
I'm a 28 year old female who is hearing from Australia. I'm actually a Sound Designer and I compose music and make sound for theatre and dance. I recently met a friend of a friend who moved to my state who is deaf. He is really cool. We met at a party and I had the best conversations with him. We like a lot of similar stuff and kind of have similar styles, except for the sound side of things of course. On the weekend we went out, ended up drunk and back at his place heehe. I had a really great time and I think I like him quite a bit. He makes me laugh and I think he's really cute. I don't feel like I even notice he is deaf, apart from the fact that sometimes we write to each other and he doesn't talk, just makes sounds. He seems to be a very good lip reader. He taught me how to say one thing in Auslan. I felt like we communicate really well together.

Anyway, he seemed a bit distant the next day even though we had coffee and stuff together. I txt him saying I had a really great time but I haven't heard back from him. Maybe he just doesn't like me (lol) or maybe it wasn't as easy for him as I felt it was for me? I don't know. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

x San

[Bottesini]

JClarke, are you leading this young woman on???

[San]

In jokes already hahaha. He was in contact with me asking me to go out and stuff earlier in the week. It's not like I'm not attractive Anyway. Maybe he ran out of credit and I'm paranoid. Or maybe he's just not into me. Didn't seem like that though hahaha

[JClarke]

Who called?

[San]

Hahaha. Well. He still hasn't got back to me. Maybe I did do something wrong

Anyway, this is a picture of me working in the studio.

In the studio | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

I'm really interested to hear about Auslan and experiences you may have. I know the guy that I like was asking me about different types of music, saying he could hear vibrations. Which is interesting for me because a lot of the sound I make is based on vibrations and bass tones. I am working with an artist Robin Fox next year who in another project, has been working on compositions for cochlear implants using vibrations. It's just like speaking a different language really, different types of communication, or for me, different types of sound, expression through different mediums. I'm very interested in the senses. There is the Deaf Arts Network in Melbourne that sounds really cool, I should look into doing some work with them.

Anyway, love to hear any advice or stories you have or anything you may want to ask me! And someone make this boy contact me!

x

[green427]

Originally Posted by San

Hahaha. Well. He still hasn't got back to me. Maybe I did do something wrong

Anyway, this is a picture of me working in the studio.
....

..... And someone make this boy contact me!

Yeah, you are pretty hot looking.

You ended up at his place after getting drunk, now he is not interested in you.

It must have been that note you wrote while he was on top of you. You know, the note that said "Is it in yet?"

[DDU]

we deaf men can be picky when it comes to hearing women. i can teach you all the ins and outs on dating deaf men. just come visit me

[craigm26]

Originally Posted by San

Hahaha. Well. He still hasn't got back to me. Maybe I did do something wrong

Sounds like the ball is in his court...his loss, obviously you have a lot going for you.

[San]

@green427 - Just because I stayed at his house doesn't mean anything more than sleeping happened

Well, he got back to me in the end. Unfortunately after spending some time with him it turns out he's just a jerk, nothing to do with him having issues. He came to a party I invited him to and flirted with someone else for an hour ignoring me and did some other jerky stuff (like left his wallet at home on purpose so he wouldn't loose it and then expected me to pay for food for him, uhhh what the ****? You're 29 get it together). Sigh. I think I just attract jerks. Anyway, thanks for the nice comments & advice.

[Frisky Feline]

Originally Posted by San

@green427 - Just because I stayed at his house doesn't mean anything more than sleeping happened

Well, he got back to me in the end. Unfortunately after spending some time with him it turns out he's just a jerk, nothing to do with him having issues. He came to a party I invited him to and flirted with someone else for an hour ignoring me and did some other jerky stuff (like left his wallet at home on purpose so he wouldn't loose it and then expected me to pay for food for him, uhhh what the ****? You're 29 get it together). Sigh. I think I just attract jerks. Anyway, thanks for the nice comments & advice.

If some guy left his wallets at home, then this person is no good. thats all i can say!

[San]

Originally Posted by Frisky Feline

If some guy left his wallets at home, then this person is no good. thats all i can say!

Yep, you're telling me! At least I raided his digital comic collection. He wants to be friends with me but I really just think he's a waste of my time. Blah so over boys

[TWA]

Originally Posted by San

@green427 - Just because I stayed at his house doesn't mean anything more than sleeping happened

Well, he got back to me in the end. Unfortunately after spending some time with him it turns out he's just a jerk, nothing to do with him having issues. He came to a party I invited him to and flirted with someone else for an hour ignoring me and did some other jerky stuff (like left his wallet at home on purpose so he wouldn't loose it and then expected me to pay for food for him, uhhh what the ****? You're 29 get it together). Sigh. I think I just attract jerks. Anyway, thanks for the nice comments & advice.

Ah bummer. Well, that's just what happens sometimes. Think you might look for another deaf guy in the future? I can assure you, we're not all like that.

[WildHunt]

*seconds WriteAlex on that* Not all deaf guys are jerks.

I hope that this guy will not make you lose interest in a future relationship with another deaf person, which I also hope will be a decent guy and treat you nice.

[green427]

Originally Posted by San

@green427 - Just because I stayed at his house doesn't mean anything more than sleeping happened

You know I am kidding about the note?

Well, he got back to me in the end. Unfortunately after spending some time with him it turns out he's just a jerk, nothing to do with him having issues. He came to a party I invited him to and flirted with someone else for an hour ignoring me and did some other jerky stuff (like left his wallet at home on purpose so he wouldn't loose it and then expected me to pay for food for him, uhhh what the ****? You're 29 get it together). Sigh. I think I just attract jerks. Anyway, thanks for the nice comments & advice.

Yeah, he sounds like a jerk and mooches off others. Screw him, there are plenty of other species out there to choose from.

Most attractive women get unwanted attention from the jerks.

[San]

Originally Posted by green427

You know I am kidding about the note?

Heehe yea, there was supposed to be a hint of sarcasm in that but I guess it didn't come across lol

[San]

Originally Posted by TheWriteAlex

Ah bummer. Well, that's just what happens sometimes. Think you might look for another deaf guy in the future? I can assure you, we're not all like that.

Heehe yea I know, sometimes people are just douche bags. I don't think it's a choice of one thing or another, I certainly wouldn't NOT date someone because they are deaf. If someone is deaf and I like them, then I would go out with them of course

[naisho]

I don't bring my wallet with me everyday, are you guys implying I am up to no good too?

[TWA]

Originally Posted by naisho

I don't bring my wallet with me everyday, are you guys implying I am up to no good too?

Yes. Cheapskate.

[iavswn]

Hearing girls typically don't sign.

[JazzYTootliez]

This is very difficult subject because from my experience with dating deaf men and hearing men.
from my point of view:
Deaf Men are very easy to commuciate with and so much fun to be with!
But they aren't that hopefless romantic or mature enough to carry on mature convertation.

If you break up with them, the whole deaf community knows about it and he can spread lies about you which hurts your reputation in a Deaf community just like that in a heart beat. So many deaf people would get invloved in drama and take his side against yours. Too MUCH drama! So many Deaf guys aren't either self reliance to support themseleves independently finaicnially without relying on roomates or living on SSI/SSDI or low paying jobs.
NOT ALL DEAF MEN are the SAME but it is VERY COMMON and that SCARES ME.

Hearing Men are so much FUN but hard to comuciate with. WIth them you get somewhere further ahead in life also. They'd support your dreams and goals (not all of them do but many of them do)
SOme of them can be such a controling freaks, dishonest in commucaition.
They can be very romantic also and carry on great converations. They don't spready out lies rumors like Deaf community does.

On Both Sides of Hearing and Deaf mens.. both have pros and cons.. Just very hard to decide .. as long you just give them a try and see whatever happens.. see where this leads to and ALWAYS remember to follow your heart and what your gut feelings tell you wheither it's all good or bad.

Best wishes. Now DON'T BASHING ME! It's JUST MY OPNION FROM MY EXPERICNES so Everyone has their own experinces and OPNIONS..

[DDU]

us mean greenie's are de best

[green427]

Originally Posted by JazzYTootliez

This is very difficult subject because from my experience with dating deaf men and hearing men.
from my point of view:
Deaf Men are very easy to commuciate with and so much fun to be with!
But they aren't that hopefless romantic or mature enough to carry on mature convertation.

If you break up with them, the whole deaf community knows about it and he can spread lies about you which hurts your reputation in a Deaf community just like that in a heart beat. So many deaf people would get invloved in drama and take his side against yours. Too MUCH drama! So many Deaf guys aren't either self reliance to support themseleves independently finaicnially without relying on roomates or living on SSI/SSDI or low paying jobs.
NOT ALL DEAF MEN are the SAME but it is VERY COMMON and that SCARES ME.

Hearing Men are so much FUN but hard to comuciate with. WIth them you get somewhere further ahead in life also. They'd support your dreams and goals (not all of them do but many of them do)
SOme of them can be such a controling freaks, dishonest in commucaition.
They can be very romantic also and carry on great converations. They don't spready out lies rumors like Deaf community does.

On Both Sides of Hearing and Deaf mens.. both have pros and cons.. Just very hard to decide .. as long you just give them a try and see whatever happens.. see where this leads to and ALWAYS remember to follow your heart and what your gut feelings tell you wheither it's all good or bad.

Best wishes. Now DON'T BASHING ME! It's JUST MY OPNION FROM MY EXPERICNES so Everyone has their own experinces and OPNIONS..

Have you tried women for a change? They are so much nicer and sexier.

[deafbajagal]

Originally Posted by JazzYTootliez

This is very difficult subject because from my experience with dating deaf men and hearing men.
from my point of view:
Deaf Men are very easy to commuciate with and so much fun to be with!
But they aren't that hopefless romantic or mature enough to carry on mature convertation.

If you break up with them, the whole deaf community knows about it and he can spread lies about you which hurts your reputation in a Deaf community just like that in a heart beat. So many deaf people would get invloved in drama and take his side against yours. Too MUCH drama! So many Deaf guys aren't either self reliance to support themseleves independently finaicnially without relying on roomates or living on SSI/SSDI or low paying jobs.
NOT ALL DEAF MEN are the SAME but it is VERY COMMON and that SCARES ME.

Hearing Men are so much FUN but hard to comuciate with. WIth them you get somewhere further ahead in life also. They'd support your dreams and goals (not all of them do but many of them do)
SOme of them can be such a controling freaks, dishonest in commucaition.
They can be very romantic also and carry on great converations. They don't spready out lies rumors like Deaf community does.

On Both Sides of Hearing and Deaf mens.. both have pros and cons.. Just very hard to decide .. as long you just give them a try and see whatever happens.. see where this leads to and ALWAYS remember to follow your heart and what your gut feelings tell you wheither it's all good or bad.

Best wishes. Now DON'T BASHING ME! It's JUST MY OPNION FROM MY EXPERICNES so Everyone has their own experinces and OPNIONS..

It's unfair to say all deaf men are the same.

[Banjo]

I am profoundly deaf. I don't live on welfare. I am self-reliant. I have a full-time job. I have a car. I have a house. I am married.

Are you on welfare? Are you self-reliant? Do you have a full-time job? Do you have a car? Do you have a house? Are you in a relationship?

I don't spend days and nights going to bars, social events and such. My wife and I only go to very few events a year because we have a very busy and active lifestyle.

There are several factors in why some people have difficulties in dating is because they often form relationships at seedy bars. A lot of bad relationships get their start at these types of bars.

[green427]

Originally Posted by Banjo

I am profoundly deaf. I don't live on welfare. I am self-reliant. I have a full-time job. I have a car. I have a house. I am married.

Are you on welfare? Are you self-reliant? Do you have a full-time job? Do you have a car? Do you have a house? Are you in a relationship?

I don't spend days and nights going to bars, social events and such. My wife and I only go to very few events a year because we have a very busy and active lifestyle.

There are several factors in why some people have difficulties in dating is because they often form relationships at seedy bars. A lot of bad relationships get their start at these types of bars.

+1

Same here. Haven't been to a bar in years. With children to attend to, we don't socialize much either.


To the OP: If you attend RIT or Gallaudet, you will get to meet deaf guys from all walks of life, and your chances of finding 'Mr. Deaf Right' are much higher.

[shel90]

After my divorce from my ex hubby in 2000, I dated many deaf men. Met a lot of jerks but also met a lot of wonderful men. To this day, I am still friends with the wonderful ones.

Just like hearing men, there are some good ones and some bad ones.

[sheila022]

madam, there's plenty of fishes in the sea....if you haven't found the "right one"

[shel90]

Originally Posted by sheila022

madam, there's plenty of fishes in the sea....if you haven't found the "right one"

Are you referring to me? If so, I have been happily married for 5 years now. This was 10 years ago.