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Old 04-01-2004, 09:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Have your parents told you.....

that they hate you and wish that you would never been born when they didn't mean to say it to you.. like during an arguement or something like that. Yes, my mom has said that to me during a fight when she was drunk. She didn't say it on purpose but it hurted me alot and cried alot. When she got sober the next day, I told her what she said to me and she said that she's sorry. I forgave her for that but I will never forget it because it hurts when I think about it sometimes. I have hearing friends telling me they heard about that when their parents talked about them behind their backs with someone they know. It's cruel wheather they mean it or not.. it hurts really.
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Old 04-01-2004, 10:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
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nope.. my mom really love me so much no matter if i amdeaf or not.... i love her so much!!!!
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Old 04-02-2004, 12:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildKaTReSS
that they hate you and wish that you would never been born when they didn't mean to say it to you.. like during an arguement or something like that. Yes, my mom has said that to me during a fight when she was drunk. She didn't say it on purpose but it hurted me alot and cried alot. When she got sober the next day, I told her what she said to me and she said that she's sorry. I forgave her for that but I will never forget it because it hurts when I think about it sometimes. I have hearing friends telling me they heard about that when their parents talked about them behind their backs with someone they know. It's cruel wheather they mean it or not.. it hurts really.
Well I got clash with my Mother, she would say to me "Hurry up, get married, leave here as fast as you can!" I blow my raspberry!!!!!!!!!!!

I know in my heart she don't mean to say that, I am sure your mother is the same too! Please try to remember the good time you had with your mother, and put the bad times in the past.
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Old 04-02-2004, 01:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well my mom never told me she hated me.. but she did have her bad moods, especially when she's not happy with my actions. I remember one year when I turned 21, I sent her a belated Mother's Day card and and email on day of Mother's Day. She wasn't too happy. In fact a couple weeks later after Mother's Day we all went on a cruise trip, celebrating a bunch of 50th Birthdays (and my 21st) -- it's a family/friends thing. The entire trip she moaned saying aloud "Oh god, my daughter hate me soo much... I must be a horrible mother... You must hate me so much" I was soo appalled, she was whining so much (in a bad mood tone too). It was a big scene.

And since then I've tried being very very careful about stuff like that, holidays etc.
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Old 04-02-2004, 01:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_KJ
And since then I've tried being very very careful about stuff like that, holidays etc.
Your mother is being a bit of a drama queen, isn’t she? After all, you did send the e-mail on Mother’s Day. I’ve actually forgotten my own birthday, because I’ve been partially self employed for about three years now and I sometimes can’t remember what day of the week it is.
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Old 04-02-2004, 02:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
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i know what you mean... my family, my aunt/uncles tell my parents how much they're hatting about their daughters. that they don't know how to live on their own, etc.. blah blah...

as for my parents they never told me they hate me.. we do have arguments..
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Old 04-02-2004, 02:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yeah she was being a bit of a drama queen. Me and my dad were rolling our eyes.... she panicked because I'm her only child. That was the most severe she'd act. The way she "punishes" me is by finances -- like I owe her something monetary worth, or deduces it from whatever account. It doesn't bother me anymore, but it did get annoying after awhile.
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Old 04-02-2004, 04:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
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my mom will NEVER said these to me especially she almost meant that comment, she got pissed at me cos i used her money from her account since we had a joint acct.. at least i got mine own at different bank also she did called me "stupid", "poor WHITE trash".. -- white trash, haha my ass i aint no whigga! anywah she still loves me no matter what.. whats up with her motor mouth... she does really sucks at breaking my heart.. but she had broke my heart when she was ABOUT To booted me out of home but changed mind cos she said that to herself, that shes not like another single parent that will kicks their kids out of house... tuff ghetto mama of mine, i aint messing with her like that. but i m smartass in some ways if i could make a GOOOD point at my mom abt it then she will be quipped abt it.
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Old 04-03-2004, 01:36 AM   #9 (permalink)
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My mama does LOVE me til death! My dad do love me, too. -- Me and mama are very debative *sigh* one of us get win the bet! She sometimes in moody swing like "you not love me so much" I kept told her "yes i love you" but other time, growling.. My dad and me are very common and quietly people so we have no plm, just he has own mind!
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Old 04-03-2004, 02:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Well...

no...

my parent really love me but my mother denied that I am Deaf. My cousin explained me about I was baby to 3 years old. He realized me as I am born Deaf. My mom denied it that she persuded relatives about I am hearing. =/

But... my parent or your hearing parent always panic because we are Deaf. They obess what if we can't hear that we may get car or truck accident. Is it discrimination? My answer is no. They really love us but they overprotect us. Simple answer: I did explain them that I can care myself and love them. You too (love your parent because your parent is your blood).
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Old 04-03-2004, 11:54 AM   #11 (permalink)
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my parents has never said that to my face so i dunno if they ever felt that way -- sure have grown up in 1 too many family arguments
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Old 04-03-2004, 12:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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On more than one occasion, my dad has told me "my life would be so much different without you and your sister." Although that may not seem bad, he has also said "this wouldnt have happened if i didnt have you guys." I think that is almost as bad as a parent saying they hate you or wish you were never born. When my dad and I used to fight he would bring up the past and use that against me (Oh but I sacrificed SO MUCH for you and your sister) I'd retort with "as if I asked to be born, right?" My father and I do not have a healthy relationship anymore, cant recall when we ever did, but hey thats life. My birth mom and I are on better terms, as long as I dont disappoint her. My mom (dad's wife) has never said she wished I was never born (seeing how she didnt give birth to me, the equivalent would be, 'i wish i never married your father' and she does say that sometimes, but for other reasons than having kids.)
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Old 04-04-2004, 08:07 AM   #13 (permalink)
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One person I knows Mother said, "I wish you were an abortion".

That was kind of a conversation killer.
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Old 04-04-2004, 08:24 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Jeez! Right to your face... hope things get better for y'all with your parents.. maybe now you are adults, you can show 'em better ways... I did, sort of!

My parents have never said that to me, altho we've had some hairy fights. Who knows what they thought at these times? Maybe some things are just better left unsaid... I was a very sheltered and spoiled brat!

My old live in tutor told me that my dad was very distant emotionally with me when I was younger because he probably was just nervous about me being deaf. Look at it this way: A Republican and very logical accountant working for the government gets a deaf baby girl. She was pleasantly surprised when I told her that dad learned ASL later on, and we have a stronger relationship now. I'm still working on his logical and stiff exterior.
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Old 04-04-2004, 09:59 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I'm sorry to hear some of you what you had to go through and hear this kind of harsh statement from a family member. Some people can't stop and think before they say it. Sometimes it's hard not to say harsh things to get back at the person, but wish they learn to bite their tongue and just walk away ya know?

When my mother-in-law was here for Thanksgiving at my house for the weekend... on Thanksgiving morning we were talking about babies and I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time... my mother-in-law said this to me that her son (my husband) isn't suppose to happen and she never wanted children at the first place. She had told me once in the past that her ex-husband raped her and that's how she got pregnant. What turned me off is that she had the nerve to tell me and in front of my husband that he wasn't suppose to happen and never finished that sentence how lucky to have her son in her life. She never did. My husband is a very, very good man. I'm just so fortunate to have him in my life. Anyway, it really suck when someone talks like that. I don't have the same feelings about my mother-in-law now and she makes me damn nervous.
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Old 04-04-2004, 12:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Not in so many words, but my mother HAS said "Get out of my life." She never apologized, but...she does tend to be overdramatic...MUCH more than she is reasonable!

I think we actually get along better NOW that I'm married and out of her reign.

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Old 04-04-2004, 12:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katzie
When my mother-in-law was here for Thanksgiving at my house for the weekend... on Thanksgiving morning we were talking about babies and I was 36 weeks pregnant at the time... my mother-in-law said this to me that her son (my husband) isn't suppose to happen and she never wanted children at the first place. She had told me once in the past that her ex-husband raped her and that's how she got pregnant. What turned me off is that she had the nerve to tell me and in front of my husband that he wasn't suppose to happen and never finished that sentence how lucky to have her son in her life. She never did. My husband is a very, very good man. I'm just so fortunate to have him in my life. Anyway, it really suck when someone talks like that. I don't have the same feelings about my mother-in-law now and she makes me damn nervous.
It´s sad to know that your mother-in-law is a bitter woman.
I can image how your husband react when her mother stated that she never want to have him in first place which she know that her son is not the fault for those situation what the rapist did his mother.
As what you stated how lovely your husband is...
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Old 04-04-2004, 12:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I feel being unloved when my parents kept on saying that "I am glad that you go off to school soon"... when I´m naughty or cheeky etc.

Until now I have no good love relationship with them..
That´s why I wouldn´t do that to my children when I am angry..
I do is went off when I am angry to calm me down myself...
As you see that it´s boarding school which it´s over 150 km away from our home... which I come home 4 times a year.
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Old 04-04-2004, 02:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
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My parents never said that to me. However, my dad did slap me and spank me once because he said he was pissed off at his boss. I think he was just pissed off at me and made up an excuse so I wouldn't think he was pissed at me, but someone else.
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Old 04-04-2004, 03:54 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I've had to wonder for the vast majority of my life whether or not my father really "loved" me. He walked out on us when my sister was just born and I was 4 years old. What could I have done other than be deaf? So that must be it. Or at least in my mind.

I know that's irrational, but that's the same thought that creeps up on me over and over and over again no matter how long it's been...
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Old 04-04-2004, 04:22 PM   #21 (permalink)
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eh.. I think my dad did told me he wished I wasn't born til 1983 I was like I knew some parents wud say something they don't mean it.. at people who have weird mood swings but I wud understand if I ever get one when I'm ever a PARENT
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Old 04-05-2004, 11:54 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dhw5320
One person I knows Mother said, "I wish you were an abortion".

That was kind of a conversation killer.
my friend had implied a insult me as sarcastism. " you shld have be abortation" but she didnt meant to hurt my feelings...i dont feel that offended myself because i knew that she is kidding, in other way... but i look back in my head, i wondered if she might have been right. cos i was supposed to be aborted.. but luckily my mom decides to keep me...

(such a miracle, , i know )
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Old 04-05-2004, 12:03 PM   #23 (permalink)
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My mother always said to me front of my face. She said she will die. Right after we argue every time. So far, she still alive as age 50. Asked my grandma about that. she said my mother just get my attention and pity. Guess that my mother cannot handle with my rebellious. Only listen to grandpa and father more better them.
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Old 04-05-2004, 07:16 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I forgot about my Deaf young sister.

She disliked our hearing mother too much after she discovered that she had rare terminated disease. Because mother spoiled and overprotected her all time. My sister wanted to have her freedom but she did not get freedom. I tried to explain my mother all time because my sister wanted to have her space alone. Then I did explain my sister about our mother was overprotected. She refused to accept about our mother tried to spoil because she claimed that she was old enough (yeah she was 23 years old when I did discuss with her).

Did she really hate our hearing mother? Yes and no. yes- she really loved our mother. no- mother overprotected her and me because Deaf.

oh... my younger sister was not avaliable and signing this forum because she passed away three years ago. (November 30, 2000)
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Old 04-07-2004, 09:37 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_KJ
Well my mom never told me she hated me.. but she did have her bad moods, especially when she's not happy with my actions. I remember one year when I turned 21, I sent her a belated Mother's Day card and and email on day of Mother's Day. She wasn't too happy. In fact a couple weeks later after Mother's Day we all went on a cruise trip, celebrating a bunch of 50th Birthdays (and my 21st) -- it's a family/friends thing. The entire trip she moaned saying aloud "Oh god, my daughter hate me soo much... I must be a horrible mother... You must hate me so much" I was soo appalled, she was whining so much (in a bad mood tone too). It was a big scene.

And since then I've tried being very very careful about stuff like that, holidays etc.
Oh Dear... I will be hurt so badly if my sons forgot about Mother's Day or my birthday.

They always remember a special Mother's Day and birthday. They made me a special breakfast last year on Mother's Day. I would love to have them to treat me as a queen everyday.
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Old 04-07-2004, 10:50 AM   #26 (permalink)
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well My Mom had said after finding out that ^Angel^ And I are Deaf she wanted to leave us behide at the Hospital and walk away... She Would Tell her Friends that we are not her Children that we were Switched at Birth and someone else has her Children.She had said a lots of Horrible things to us but I really do not want to bring this back up again. But, To tell u the truth She is still My Mother by Blood and I do Forgive her and did but I will never Forget those Words she had said in the Past.
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Old 04-08-2004, 09:42 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Well, have you ever heard that people tell the truth when influenced by alcohol??
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Old 04-08-2004, 09:52 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Well, have you ever heard that people tell the truth when influenced by alcohol??
Yes, I have heard that before, and sorry I don't listen to them when they are drunk because its nonsence talk! Anyone would pay attention to drunk people talk I wonder??
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Old 04-08-2004, 09:58 PM   #29 (permalink)
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