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Old 03-22-2004, 12:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Are You Paranoid in Your Partnership?

So you found a suspicious number scribbled on a matchbook in your partner's pocket. Or maybe an unknown number keeps popping up on the caller I.D. These "discoveries" seem innocent enough but, in many relationships, the occasional snooping around for clues to a partner's extracurricular activities turns into an obsession that includes fishing for information from friends, reading personal e-mails and letters, and living an essentially paranoid existence.

1.) I am Wondering Are you that Person? and Explain Why?

2.) Do you jump to conclusions When Ur Partner talk with Their Opposite of Sex?

3.) Do you have an Open Conversation with Ur Partner with ur Feelings?

This Thread is for Realtionship and Marriage Or History of Relationship.
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Old 03-22-2004, 02:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh, my GOD...I am an incredibly jealous woman...and some of you KNOW this by now, since you've heard it right from HIS mouth!!

:::nodding::: Yeah. I know. I shouldn't be...I know my husband loves me...but still...when we're out, he often gets smiles and touches from other women...and hmm...makes me wonder what he thinks about these women...LOL. He loves to pick on me about it too, but I'm sure that's because when I'm jealous, I also put on this "well, crap," look and slump down in my seat...LOL.

But...it's ME that he goes to bed with at night...so I try not to let things get to me. Hey, trying is something, isn't it??? LOL.

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Old 03-22-2004, 04:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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1.) I am Wondering Are you that Person? and Explain Why?
No, I´m not really paranoid. I often irgnore my hubby´s tease... because we trust each other.

2.) Do you jump to conclusions When Ur Partner talk with Their Opposite of Sex?
No, really... We are open minded.

3.) Do you have an Open Conversation with Ur Partner with ur Feelings?
Yes, we often open each other how we feel... We shared what we don´t like...or what we like etc.

Our marriage life goes up & down like everyone... it´s not fairy-tale....

Any more question?
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Old 03-22-2004, 04:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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lol @ Malfoyish

ehh.... I do have jealousy issues with my previous exes because I didn't trust them very much
But now I am dating somebody who I trust very much but envy still plays a role in our relationship... he has a LOT , and i mean it, A LOT of female friends... and he always talk to them and never introduce me to them. NOW that pisses me off... but I usually keep my cool and jump in- "Hello, (Bleep) has forgetten his manners so my name is (bleep) and I have heard so much about you from him! You that, you this, et cetera, I could swear he adores you!" and this would straight him up and allows him to slip me into as his girlfriend to save his arse.
If it all fails, I will just walk away and socialize with somebody and let him figuring out where the hell I go... ( we are totally two peas in a pod so if we are apart, we just have to let eachother know and wait up for one another... )
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Old 03-22-2004, 04:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Jaysus Malfoyish! I wonder if he feels the same way about you when it comes to guys smiling at you or even touching you? I hope he treats you like a princess otherwise I'd give him a rump in the ass! LOL

1.) I am Wondering Are you that Person? and Explain Why?

I used to be very insecure with my hearing husband just because of my past experience with couple of deaf guys who treated me like dirt and a slut. I used to look for my husband's phone book and asked him who are these people. I used to check his Email while we were dating in college. It drove him crazy. Anytime he chatted with women friends I used to feel that they're better than me just because they can hear. I was nervous about losing him. When I started working with hearing people my insecurity feelings eventually diminished. I'm glad I'm not that person anymore!

2.) Do you jump to conclusions When Ur Partner talk with Their Opposite of Sex?

No, but I used to. I get irritated when women realized that I'm deaf and they took advantage of the situation. They talked very fast with my husband which means I knew they were flirting with him because he had that uh-oh look on his face and won't tell me about it right away. LOL

3.) Do you have an Open Conversation with Ur Partner with ur Feelings?

We do now. We used to have a lack of communication in the past. We use our keys to open each other's heart to meet our expectations and needs. We learned to stop and listen and share our feelings without hestitation. Even when they're good or bad. We tell each other this, "You are irreplaceable" and we often give each other our affections. Sometimes we fight, but we understand each other even more. Our relationship is very close because we communicate just about anything.
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Old 03-22-2004, 11:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malfoyish
Oh, my GOD...I am an incredibly jealous woman...and some of you KNOW this by now, since you've heard it right from HIS mouth!!

:::nodding::: Yeah. I know. I shouldn't be...I know my husband loves me...but still...when we're out, he often gets smiles and touches from other women...and hmm...makes me wonder what he thinks about these women...LOL. He loves to pick on me about it too, but I'm sure that's because when I'm jealous, I also put on this "well, crap," look and slump down in my seat...LOL.

But...it's ME that he goes to bed with at night...so I try not to let things get to me. Hey, trying is something, isn't it??? LOL.

Malfoyish
No worries..yes I love you...and yes I most definately go to bed with you....Did you have to eat sooo much chili tonight btw...egads
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Old 03-22-2004, 11:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katzie
Jaysus Malfoyish! I wonder if he feels the same way about you when it comes to guys smiling at you or even touching you? I hope he treats you like a princess otherwise I'd give him a rump in the ass! LOL

1.) I am Wondering Are you that Person? and Explain Why?

I used to be very insecure with my hearing husband just because of my past experience with couple of deaf guys who treated me like dirt and a slut. I used to look for my husband's phone book and asked him who are these people. I used to check his Email while we were dating in college. It drove him crazy. Anytime he chatted with women friends I used to feel that they're better than me just because they can hear. I was nervous about losing him. When I started working with hearing people my insecurity feelings eventually diminished. I'm glad I'm not that person anymore!

2.) Do you jump to conclusions When Ur Partner talk with Their Opposite of Sex?

No, but I used to. I get irritated when women realized that I'm deaf and they took advantage of the situation. They talked very fast with my husband which means I knew they were flirting with him because he had that uh-oh look on his face and won't tell me about it right away. LOL

3.) Do you have an Open Conversation with Ur Partner with ur Feelings?

We do now. We used to have a lack of communication in the past. We use our keys to open each other's heart to meet our expectations and needs. We learned to stop and listen and share our feelings without hestitation. Even when they're good or bad. We tell each other this, "You are irreplaceable" and we often give each other our affections. Sometimes we fight, but we understand each other even more. Our relationship is very close because we communicate just about anything.
>>I hope he treats you like a princess otherwise I'd give him a rump in the ass! LOL<<

Boy I hope she sees this post..a good ole rump in the ass..YeeeeHawwwww
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Old 03-22-2004, 11:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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awwwww Malfoyish.....*hugging you*.....U wanna me to go after your husband and put some sense in him?....*holding my bat*....


For Myself here, I don't want to talk about my past with my soon to be ex husband since, I'm going thru the divorce....and no needed to bring that one up.....but right now with my relationship with Roadrunner, He Does NOT Flirt or look at any women.....His eyes is always on me....but, If he does then he will be out in the dog house!...
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Old 03-22-2004, 11:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
awwwww Malfoyish.....*hugging you*.....U wanna me to go after your husband and put some sense in him?....*holding my bat*....


For Myself here, I don't want to talk about my past with my soon to be ex husband since, I'm going thru the divorce....and no needed to bring that one up.....but right now with my relationship with Roadrunner, He Does NOT Flirt or look at any women.....His eyes is always on me....but, If he does then he will be out in the dog house!...
The dog house is no longer the dog house in my home....It's the Mike house...with welcome mat at the front door..spending waaaayyyyy too much time in there..thinking about getting cable..playboy channel etc.
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Old 03-23-2004, 06:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coffeeeeman
No worries..yes I love you...and yes I most definately go to bed with you....Did you have to eat sooo much chili tonight btw...egads
You may consider that my version of pay-back for the five years of gassy awakenings I've endured.

Love ya, too, honey!

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Old 03-23-2004, 07:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm kinda paraniod in my current relationship coz in my last one, my ex cheated on me thousands of times whilst i was living in sydney and him in brisbane... he even cheated on me when we were engaged...

now that i am in a new relationship (5 months now) and i totally love andrew - he has promised he would not ever cheat on me - i know he won't and he hasn't but i get slightly jealous when he's talking and joking around with girls i know...
plus he lives two hours away and i always wonder what he does when he comes home after work - i know he always either go to the shops, his mate's place, or just relax at home, play sports... but i worry if he's chasing after women behind my back... but i know he wont do that...

he's totally committed to me... but whenever he doesnt sound romantic in our msn and sms conversations - it worries me a bit too... but i know why that he's like that sometimes coz work always wears him out... he's a panel beater and he works from 7am to 5am 5 days a week... so its always busy and tiring...

but i'm glad that i know he loves me for who i am...

we both are open-minded and dont care if we have a good 'ole perve, lol... but we're committed to each other, so thats a good thing... we always ensure we have time to ourselves...

sometimes i cannot believe how lucky i am to have andrew!! i mean he could have any girl he wanted, but he chose me out of all eager girls who were wanting to go out with him.
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:15 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I think it's a matter of trust.
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:26 AM   #13 (permalink)
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(muttering) Oh please... Doesn't want happend like this...
I'd rather put *krazy glued on my hubby's hand* held me holding... 4ever!

I do truly trust my hubby becz always straightforward honestly with me..
I did tested play on him , Oh wow, look tha.. lady really quite better than me... He said.. what hell that lady ? Should I have her ? why I married to you..
I turned into RED FACE.. ahh must be how much he being honestly..
I did asked my friend... He did try his best and play on him but he refused.. how much he tells about his WIFE prefer than anyone.. He tells me about it.. *interesting* My hubby must be too strong faith on me..
Glady.. HOpe anyone who simlair like my hubby's type!
We are in relationship for 10 years and married 3 years. TOTAL 13 years..
wow~
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:35 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Sherrie--I know why he sometimes might not sound romantic during your sms conversations! The man, according to you, works 22 hours a day! LOL
By the way, what's a panel beater, anyway?
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I assume you are talking about current relationships....

1.) I am Wondering Are you that Person? and Explain Why?

No.

2.) Do you jump to conclusions When Ur Partner talk with Their Opposite of Sex?

No.

3.) Do you have an Open Conversation with Ur Partner with ur Feelings?

Yep.
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Old 03-23-2004, 01:19 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Liza,,I am asking anyone from past/Present Relationship...


Ok. I used to be So Jealous. I was dating a Cop From My Hometown. I knew he was the Biggest Flirt and He had History of A Lots of Women. He is Also Was Very Handsome. When We first started talking On Line He would put me on Be Right Back for a while and I didn't think of a big deal. Then We met in Real Life We Fell in Love and started a relationship. Then Things Changed after I induced my Best Friend to My Boyfriend the Cop. He said WoW She is Hot! Of course I knew he likes Young Girls Who are 18 Yrs Old. I feel like he did not wanted me because he would end up talking to her more than he would gave me attention. Then I found out she send him pictures of him on line and She told me he asked for them I was like Why? But the same time I have to Trust him so I kinda blew it off until he asked her to come over his Apartment alone! I did not believe her when she told me this but then she copied and Paste the Conversation between her and Him. And then I told him If you wanted her why didn't you just tell me this? He said he didnt wanted her. But, then I found out She already met him in Person already did slept together and That Broke My heart he would deny it but She even told me what his Apartment looks inside and even the bedroom so who should I believe her or him? I would never know the truth if he really did Slept with her or not. But I broke it off with him cuz there no Trust. He kept Begging me back off and on and I felt like he only using me For Sex and Wants more .. U know I am a lot smarter to have Losers in my life trying to used me and go behide my back and cheat. If someone doesn't wanna be with me just tell me the truth don't need to cheat.
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Old 03-23-2004, 01:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri
Liza,,I am asking anyone from past/Present Relationship...


Ok. I used to be So Jealous. I was dating a Cop From My Hometown. I knew he was the Biggest Flirt and He had History of A Lots of Women. He is Also Was Very Handsome. When We first started talking On Line He would put me on Be Right Back for a while and I didn't think of a big deal. Then We met in Real Life We Fell in Love and started a relationship. Then Things Changed after I induced my Best Friend to My Boyfriend the Cop. He said WoW She is Hot! Of course I knew he likes Young Girls Who are 18 Yrs Old. I feel like he did not wanted me because he would end up talking to her more than he would gave me attention. Then I found out she send him pictures of him on line and She told me he asked for them I was like Why? But the same time I have to Trust him so I kinda blew it off until he asked her to come over his Apartment alone! I did not believe her when she told me this but then she copied and Paste the Conversation between her and Him. And then I told him If you wanted her why didn't you just tell me this? He said he didnt wanted her. But, then I found out She already met him in Person already did slept together and That Broke My heart he would deny it but She even told me what his Apartment looks inside and even the bedroom so who should I believe her or him? I would never know the truth if he really did Slept with her or not. But I broke it off with him cuz there no Trust. He kept Begging me back off and on and I felt like he only using me For Sex and Wants more .. U know I am a lot smarter to have Losers in my life trying to used me and go behide my back and cheat. If someone doesn't wanna be with me just tell me the truth don't need to cheat.
My dear Cheri...

I'm sorry you had to go through this...it sucks to have found out that you were cheated on. But I have every bit of faith that you will find a man someday who is worthy of your time and affections.

Men who cheat...is it that they know they have something good going but they still want more?? This definitely falls into the "openness and honesty" category...I don't know or understand why that particular guy cheated on you, Cheri, but I guess I can safely assume that communication was lacking in the first place. Not your fault...probably his...because he was not satisfied with something in your relationship so he went out and seeked it elsewhere...

....but hey, my friend...you don't want a man who is capable of hurting you like that. If he's willing to cheat on you, then he's definitely willing to cheat on whoever else he ends up with in the future. I do think some men change, but ehhh, some of them don't...

You deserve better, hon. No worries...HIS loss!!

Malfoyish
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Old 03-23-2004, 01:33 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malfoyish
My dear Cheri...

I'm sorry you had to go through this...it sucks to have found out that you were cheated on. But I have every bit of faith that you will find a man someday who is worthy of your time and affections.

Men who cheat...is it that they know they have something good going but they still want more?? This definitely falls into the "openness and honesty" category...I don't know or understand why that particular guy cheated on you, Cheri, but I guess I can safely assume that communication was lacking in the first place. Not your fault...probably his...because he was not satisfied with something in your relationship so he went out and seeked it elsewhere...

....but hey, my friend...you don't want a man who is capable of hurting you like that. If he's willing to cheat on you, then he's definitely willing to cheat on whoever else he ends up with in the future. I do think some men change, but ehhh, some of them don't...

You deserve better, hon. No worries...HIS loss!!

Malfoyish
awwww.. Thanks Hon! U always seem to Cheer me up. I love you!

That's why I kept saying to myself No Man is Worth My Tears. If He is a Loser he would always be a Loser.
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Old 03-23-2004, 01:38 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Cheri
awwww.. Thanks Hon! U always seem to Cheer me up. I love you!

That's why I kept saying to myself No Man is Worth My Tears. If He is a Loser he would always be a Loser.
I love you too, Cheri...but you know, hon...you gotta give some guys a chance. There IS a man out there who was made especially for you, someone who will worship the very floor you walk upon. The hard part, of course, is picking him out of the mix. You're going to get a few weeds before you find your perfect soul mate...but have faith...love yourself no matter what, and have patience.

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Old 03-23-2004, 07:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Cheri,

I'm sorry for what you had to go through. Unfortunately, it's not all that uncommon. I was just wondering if you and this "so called" friend patched things up?
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Old 03-23-2004, 08:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tousi
Sherrie--I know why he sometimes might not sound romantic during your sms conversations! The man, according to you, works 22 hours a day! LOL
By the way, what's a panel beater, anyway?
Actually, he works 9 hours a day = 45 hours a week

A panel beater is a person who fixes the crushes and etc on trucks, motorcycles, 4wd's, cars, etc
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Old 03-23-2004, 09:58 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri
Liza,,I am asking anyone from past/Present Relationship...


Ok. I used to be So Jealous. I was dating a Cop From My Hometown. I knew he was the Biggest Flirt and He had History of A Lots of Women. He is Also Was Very Handsome. When We first started talking On Line He would put me on Be Right Back for a while and I didn't think of a big deal. Then We met in Real Life We Fell in Love and started a relationship. Then Things Changed after I induced my Best Friend to My Boyfriend the Cop. He said WoW She is Hot! Of course I knew he likes Young Girls Who are 18 Yrs Old. I feel like he did not wanted me because he would end up talking to her more than he would gave me attention. Then I found out she send him pictures of him on line and She told me he asked for them I was like Why? But the same time I have to Trust him so I kinda blew it off until he asked her to come over his Apartment alone! I did not believe her when she told me this but then she copied and Paste the Conversation between her and Him. And then I told him If you wanted her why didn't you just tell me this? He said he didnt wanted her. But, then I found out She already met him in Person already did slept together and That Broke My heart he would deny it but She even told me what his Apartment looks inside and even the bedroom so who should I believe her or him? I would never know the truth if he really did Slept with her or not. But I broke it off with him cuz there no Trust. He kept Begging me back off and on and I felt like he only using me For Sex and Wants more .. U know I am a lot smarter to have Losers in my life trying to used me and go behide my back and cheat. If someone doesn't wanna be with me just tell me the truth don't need to cheat.
AWWWWW!!!! let me give u hug tight!!!!!! i am sowwy abt u got thru some bad relationship.. u only not one, same as me many time!!! that why guys turned me OFF!!! they used me for sex or money!!!! i am so SICKO!
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Old 03-24-2004, 05:43 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri
Liza,,I am asking anyone from past/Present Relationship...


Ok. I used to be So Jealous. I was dating a Cop From My Hometown. I knew he was the Biggest Flirt and He had History of A Lots of Women. He is Also Was Very Handsome. When We first started talking On Line He would put me on Be Right Back for a while and I didn't think of a big deal. Then We met in Real Life We Fell in Love and started a relationship. Then Things Changed after I induced my Best Friend to My Boyfriend the Cop. He said WoW She is Hot! Of course I knew he likes Young Girls Who are 18 Yrs Old. I feel like he did not wanted me because he would end up talking to her more than he would gave me attention. Then I found out she send him pictures of him on line and She told me he asked for them I was like Why? But the same time I have to Trust him so I kinda blew it off until he asked her to come over his Apartment alone! I did not believe her when she told me this but then she copied and Paste the Conversation between her and Him. And then I told him If you wanted her why didn't you just tell me this? He said he didnt wanted her. But, then I found out She already met him in Person already did slept together and That Broke My heart he would deny it but She even told me what his Apartment looks inside and even the bedroom so who should I believe her or him? I would never know the truth if he really did Slept with her or not. But I broke it off with him cuz there no Trust. He kept Begging me back off and on and I felt like he only using me For Sex and Wants more .. U know I am a lot smarter to have Losers in my life trying to used me and go behide my back and cheat. If someone doesn't wanna be with me just tell me the truth don't need to cheat.
That sucks, Cheri.... he was a pathetic loser all the way. *shivers* a cop?? supposed to protect and serve us?? Good thing you're rid of him! You're right, people ought be more truthful and you deserved honesty so you'd do better than *him*. Everyone deserves this kind of honesty, too. All the better to find their true loves!

Talking about past relationships, too? Ok - I can relate to Katzielove totally regarding past relationships. My last relationship was not a happy one either. It was like trying to swallow a jagged pill until I ended it after 1.5 years. Guess what? My ex begged to not break up, and he swore he'd be in rehab. No fuckin' way, and that was it. Then I met my future husband - I was still a bundle of broken nerves, and it took a while to recover. I'm just sorry my husband had to be there to witness my all new low, but I'm glad he was there and still here with me. I returned to my old self slowly. I was pretty insecure, asked him constantly about the women friends he had online - and asked if he liked them. I even offered to get out of the picture quickly (cos I didnt want to get hurt if I went any deeper with him). It drove him crazy after a while, and we had our fights about it. I was always threatening to leave him every time we came to blows. I constantly tested his fidelity and love.. I know, he is not like my ex bf but I was just a bundle of raw and broken nerves. We came to the point where we have developed complete trust. The love was already there, and I had to allow myself to be vulnerable with him in order to have a better relationship. All this happened before we got married. He is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me. I just have a hard time sometimes expressing my feelings now and then because I am afraid of getting hurt again. My husband has always proven that he is ok with me expressing my feelings, and he really cares about how I feel - and vice versa. Unlike my ex, who wanted to live in the past with his hefty baggage and be a mean drunk with self pity and flirt with other women online, and hide things from me.
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Old 03-24-2004, 05:54 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malfoyish
Oh, my GOD...I am an incredibly jealous woman...and some of you KNOW this by now, since you've heard it right from HIS mouth!!

:::nodding::: Yeah. I know. I shouldn't be...I know my husband loves me...but still...when we're out, he often gets smiles and touches from other women...and hmm...makes me wonder what he thinks about these women...LOL. He loves to pick on me about it too, but I'm sure that's because when I'm jealous, I also put on this "well, crap," look and slump down in my seat...LOL.

But...it's ME that he goes to bed with at night...so I try not to let things get to me. Hey, trying is something, isn't it??? LOL.

Malfoyish
Ignore the panting bitches, because you've got him - so enjoy what you have with him - life is too short to worry about the stupidity IMO.

Next time when the women pull their cheap game with your man, play the alpha female by smiling widely and kissing him in front of them. Ignore them, too. Engage him in a conversation, too, as if they werent important for your attention. That will piss them off and let them know he is taken. LOL Let us know how that goes.