Lasza

I have a few question for you all. Happened to meet a guy last friday at Deaf Coffechat in Denver area. Somehow, I recognized new face. Thought I like to meet that guy. We introduced and chatted. Notice he's in very good taste in clothes that look like high class and foreginer to me. Not sure if he is deaf or hearing because of his sign language style (not strong ASL to me). So, why not i ask him a question. Asked him if he's deaf or hearing. End up, he doesnt like my question at all. ofc, he gave me his rotten attitude with his bluntly comment.

Is that question "Are you deaf or hearing?" offend you?


Have u expereince like this before?

Deafness

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Cheri

Lasza,

No it does not Offended me.. I was asked if I was hearing.. When a deaf person sees me talking with my voice she came up to me asked me If I Was
hearing and I said no...

Sometimes A Person at the Mall will talk to me when I am not looking at him and he would say are u deaf??? And I said yes? why? That Person thought I was irgnoring him..

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Fly Free

nahh Lasza -- not offending to me -- if someone asked if i was deaf or hearie i would just laugh and say im deaf and

im surprised abt that guy's behavior at the deaf coffee chat nite u were at *smh*

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Angel

Wow, That guy must had a bad hair day!.....

To be honest with you Lasza , I don't find it offend at all....

I do remember there were times, people would come up to me and asked me if I am deaf or hearing....I never find it offend of the way they question me about it.....

Like Cheri said ...Sometimes people question it for alot of reason such as hearing the person's voice , seeing their signs....and etc...

There are hearing people who signs so quickly than me but they are hearing not deaf....Darn, I should go to sign language class and learn to sign as quickly......

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Fly Free

yea i know what u mean Angel!!!!! ive talked to some hearies who sign so WELL and act so deaf and turned out theyre hearies -- answer usually is either CODA or a certified terp with a LONGGGGGG career in terping and/or is VERY involved in the Deaf community

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gnarlydorkette

I dont know. It depends on the context and the tone it is being asked.

I would feel strange, but not exactly offended but it would cause me to feel self-concicous and uncomfortable with THAT person if that person questions my deafness.

Most deafies I have met always thought I was teasing them about the fact that I am deaf. This caused me to ponder what did I do to make them not believing that I am deaf? I didn't use my voice. I didn't "act" hearing (this is a whole other issue I have- How the hell could one act deaf ? Ignoring folks? that is the obvious sign of a deaf person???)

I hate it when people always question my deafness. they would think that either I grew up orally or became deaf at a late age of like 8 yr old et cetera. This is a tad offended since I grew up in deaf programs and mainstreamed at age 11 and am deaf since birth.

That is why I never bother asking people, just if they can talk or not .. then they would say, "No, i am deaf" or "Yeah i am HoH" etc.... then i would say, "Oh i just want to ask because I wonder if you can speak to that man to stop staring me but I will write it down to pass it on him if you dont want to use your voice.... " (it is only an EXAMPLE... I didn't use that line every time)

Another way to determine if person is hearing/deaf- ask if s/he grows up mainstreamed or institution...

sablescort

Reminds me of something that I did in '92 in California.....

I met a hearie girl and her ASL was so good I mistook for her being a Deafie. Turned out she was working at the mental hospital with several Deafie patients there. That was how she did her ASL so damn good she could have passed for a Deafie.

Gawd, I miss that girl since I got my ass outa Califunny.

javapride

lasza it's not offending to me at all i would be flattered at all aspect. as for that dude its plby cuz he never experince deaf culture we do get asked those questions out of curiousity! no harm done in it !

WhoCare

Nah That's his problem. Perhaps, he doesn't understand what Deaf cultures.
No, it doesn't offended me.

Remmy---->Pretend to be Deaf

I'm wondering why he gave you his rotten attitude. Does he not want you think he is hearing??

VamPyroX

It doesn't offend me. A lot of people mistake me for either deaf or hearing. Sometimes, I'll be in line with my deaf friends at Taco Bell. We're signing to each other. When I get to the front, this guy starts gesturing like I'm deaf. I start speaking and he's shocked. Other times, I'll be talking to a hearing person. Suddenly, my friend comes along and I start signing to him. The hearing guy will ask me, "You know sign? I've never seen a hearing person sign so well!" I'd then tell him that I'm actually deaf, then he'd be shocked cuz I can talk. Heh!

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illustrator

it don't bother me. They want to know of us. Simple.
Maybe they are interest on you.

bbnt

why ask him at all. when his back is turned, voice to him or have someone voice to him the you want to have sex with him right now. If he turns around you will know he is hearing

Angel

bad bad bad Bbntie!...

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WBHarley

Oh myyyyy BBNT! Dang... Gotta behave.. (yeah right i know you wouldn't behave LOL)


Anyway..

Lasza,

very strange of this guy giving you a rotten attitude when you asked him that..

But I notice you said deaf coffeechat place in denver, wondering if that night they happen to have some students to meet deaf people and not to speak at all like these students learning etc. but Like Angel said that He might have had a bad bad bad hair day.. I am tryin' to figure out why would he act like that. If Someone asked me the question ~ I would say I am deaf sorry if you think I was hearing.. *IF* I was hearing, and I show up to learn communicate in real world I would say " I am hearing but I am not allow to use voices" something like that I have met few students at my local college that they did one night with all deaf people come in to meet these students to give a practices on how to communicate without voices..
Oh Psst, I have been asked few times "are you hearing" or " are you interpreter " I would say No. I am deaf. they would said " oh you speak good " some people think I Have larg..(spell) LOL Im like oh man.. hehe..


dang that guy must have had a bad hairday



Wendy

Y

i would not feel offended at all
I'd feel flattered if some deafies
assumed I was hearing when
I was standing there acting very quiet
at a deaf bowling UNTIL
when I started using sign language (in ASL )
then they realize that I'm truly Deaf...
(Tee-hee)

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Fly Free

bbnt hahahah u are BAD!!!!!!

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DeafSCUBA98

maybe he feel offended because many people ask that question cuz of his ASL skills aren't good...

sometimes it offended me if someone says that i don't use my ASL good..

but it doesn't offend me when someone ask me if i'm deaf or hearing

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Deaf258

I think if the question was about my skill of signing, I would be offended because I try to match the people's communication level so that both of us understand each other. If it was just a general question about me being hearing or Deaf, I'd answer it with no problems!

CatoCooper13

I don't get easily offended by that question -- it'll only depend on the situation I'm in when asked that question in particular.
Most of the times, I don't really mind at all.

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Opal

Well, it really depend on some people's attitude!

For example, I went to Deaf Cricket Match recently and spoken to a lady in Auslan, I must say she is brillant, but in my feelings, I can tell she is hearing, so I asked her "Are you hearing"? Her face fell down and asked me if her sign language is not good enough? Oh no, I wish I never asked this question to her, because I had trouble to convinced her that she is doing it very well but in my heart she don't take my words for it!! Also I tried hard to make it up telling her that her Auslan sign language is much better than my hubby! I hope I don't ruin her day!! She keeps asking me "What makes you think I am hearing"!!! please tell me!! etc

Because of it, I think it is nicer way to ask her "Are you deaf". it should make her feel happier ?????

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Mistyrose

Sheeeesh! nothing wrong with that question! Ive had people ask me the same questions...will tell you this funny story one time...This guy i met at work was talking to me about problems with the paperwork and he noticed that i was looking at his lips and he got unnerved i guess, cuz he said, "why are you looking at my lips, you wanna kiss me?" I cracked up and laughed so hard, couldnt even say anything..finally i said "No way, Jose do i want to kiss you, eww and for your info, i was READING your lips" He was like and then i told him that im hearing impaired..he didnt say a word and left! Never saw him again..sheeesh! me thinks hes afraid of the deaf people LOL! I dont give a shyt if he is!!

Y

LOL at Defee's story above haha....

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drphil

From the past- labels: Deafie/Hearie.
Some things never change it seems!

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dereksbicycles

Let's say that I've a car with turbocharged engine. Someone asks, you're driving slow. DO you really want to own a car with turbocharged engine?? Think about it. You'll be offended if someone asked you a question like it.

I don't get offended if people ask if I'm deaf or not. Just be careful about the context you ask it in.

PowerON

When someone asked me if I'm born deaf or hearing. I made frankly answer that It's unknown. They piss off and walk off on me without me to explain that I'm adopted.

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whatdidyousay!

It is impossible to say if this was offensives or not as I have no idea HOW you asked the guy if he was deaf or hearing. And it does not matter what other people think as the guy is entitle to his feeling! And is should be respected. And I think the guy was right to be offensives as look what you're , you're talking about him behind his back.

rockin'robin

Well, I can see some deafies getting offended by someone asking or even telling them...are you deaf or hearing?...or you're hearing!....

I went to a deafie dinner once, and was chatting with 3 other deafies along with my boys....this lady walked up with several of her friends and said..."You're Hearing"!...not a question, but a statement!...So, yes, it offended me. She sort of "flipped me off" and I had to explain myself...It made me feel as if I was not welcome at the dinner.

So before asking someone if they are deaf or hearing, I would just strike up a conversation with them first (if I were interested)....

Latascha

That question doesn't offend me, but sometimes I wonder how people throw it at someone, like making a statement, not waiting for the answer, etc.
Meeting new people I do ask this question, but I just ask if they are deaf. Yes, then I sign at a normal speed (well for me a normal speed). If the person is HOH then I sometimes ask if he/she signs. If they are not that fluent I sign a bit slower or match my word order a bit. Well if they don't sign and at least try I use my voice.
The thing is, some might be offended when you think their signing skills aren't that good. I don't want that to happen, especially when it is a hearing person trying to learn.

katz4life

No, it doesn't offend me at all. Many times, I had Deaf people asking me if I am HOh or Oralie Deaf, I told them no I am Deaf. Because I move my lips a lot including my voice-on while I use PSE. But there are other questions that is non-related to deaf issue being asked I felt offended and sometimes had to be blunt to them directly.

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Lily7

I've never been offended by that question either. I think anyone who was offended has issues. I mean whether or not someone is deaf is important information.

That said, I will admit I've experienced a couple of times where someone asked me that and the tone it was asked in was offensive. It was more of an attitude thing than really wanting to know if I was deaf or hearing, and it was usually in response to my comments on observations of deaf vs hearing people. So it was more of "What do you know anyway" kind of attitude. THAT was offensive.

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