Oceanbreeze

I have a friend who is an advocate for those who suffer from eating disorders. She, herself, is recovering from a 13 yr long battle with Anorexia Nervosa. She's been in counseling for this and other issues for several years. I admire the strength and courage she shows every day in doing what she has to do to stay well. But, I'm writing because I need to vent.

She called me today in tears saying her sister attacked her and tried to choke her. I was incredulous. I could barely speak when I heard what had transpired. I emplored my friend to press charges and protect herself. She refuses. Awhile later, she calls back and said her sister came over, apologized and "it will never happen again." I got a very sick feeling and begged her to protect herself. I said to my friend that her sister is mentally ill and needs psychological help. I also pointed out that what happened today was assault and battery. I said I didn't want this to EVER happen again and pointed out that this could also raise to the level of murder. I was near tears when I said all this to her. She SWEARS her sister knows what she did was wrong and it will never happen again.

I'm sickened at the very thought of what could happen. I wish there was something I could do.

Thank you for letting me vent, and for those of you who may be in an abusive situation be it from a sister, brother, a significant other, a parent or whomever, PLEASE get help! Abusers rarely change.

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"You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire. Once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher."

~Peter Gabriel

Deafness

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Partygirl

Oh dear, so sorry for your friend. I seen situations same as you say and it so hard looking on and feel helpless. I agree with what you say at end, abusers rarely change.

Pepsi

Oceanbreeze, I'm sorry to hear about you're friend I hope things get better for her.

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rockin'robin

People are reluctant to press charges especially if it's "family". If ur friend's sister had pulled a gun, or had shot her, I could see a definite charge of assault......If this has happened more than once (attacking & choking her), then, yes I would file charges. But it might have been just a "sisterly squabble" over nothing....And since the sister has apologized....perhaps they will make up.

My sister and I have fought (physically) before, and I'm sure most "brothers" fight within the family. Doesn't mean they are mentally ill...just means having a difference solved by fighting.....then they are "sorry" afterwards. Not very mature, I'll admit.

Oceanbreeze

It was more than a "sisterly spat". This woman (my friends' sister) HATES her and has hated her from babyhood. There's been ongoing emotional abuse for years, but it finally reached a physical level yesterday when the sister tried to choke my friend. She had her hands around my friend's adam's apple. It's sad and very emotional for me. There are so many issues here (and alot that I'm not disclosing), but suffice it to say I'm frightened and sick about this. Nothing I've said to my friend has made any difference. In order for me to not feel so helpless, *I* hit the internet and did a search for shelters in my friend's state. I told her I was doing this and if she ever wanted the info, I'd give it to her. It's the only thing I can do at this point.

__________________
"You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire. Once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher."

~Peter Gabriel

Oceanbreeze

It is very hard, but I know that there is only so much I can do. She has to be the one to change the situation. Her sister certainly doesn't appear to be willing to change, so my friend must. As I said in my other post, I hit the internet for info regarding shelters. All my friend has to do is ask for it. I hope she does and I'll be glad to give it to her.

__________________
"You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire. Once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher."

~Peter Gabriel

Jess

I've been through 2 previous abusive relationships and immediately left both of them, no promise of a house, car, jewelry, and whatnot is worth staying with these guys. About family? That gets really complicated, it's more of a silent treatment kind of situation, especially between me and my mom. She slapped me because I yelled at her, she just can't understand my life, and I refuse to call her EVERYDAY and tell her of my whereabouts. I can understand her concern with my relationships, but she also doesn't understand that such bad personalities do not show when I meet someone, but when it does show and no way of resolving this, it shows abusers never change. Strangely enough, they tried to apologize, but to no avail, become abusive. When they try to apologize, I just hear different excuses everytime. So you are right, she should be wary of her sister, at least for the time being.

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Oceanbreeze

My friend wants to forget about it all. *sigh* Yeah, it's tough. I've said it all already. I've done all I can do. Now, its up to my friend to do what she knows is the right thing. I just hope she does it before the sister puts her hands on her again. Next time she does, she could kill my friend and I cannot tell you how that frightens me.

__________________
"You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire. Once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher."

~Peter Gabriel