A question from a hearing man to deaf women (ages 18 and up)

Wonderlust King · 10-28-2009, 10:58 PM

There is a girl in my college class who I find attractive, and she is deaf. I want to approach her, I just don't know how to do it. I'm nervous for several reasons. Will she think I am trying to take advantage of her because of the fact she is deaf and I want to get to know her? Will she be offended if I wrote her a note that said "My name is __________. I'd like to get to know you better if you're interested in making a new friend

. My e-mail is ___________". Any and all advice would be appreciated, and if you have more questions for me for a better understanding of the entire situation, please feel free to e-mail me. I consider myself an open-minded person, and I like to hear people's opinions. I tried Yahoo answers but experienced two things: One, 14 year old girls who think they know everything (hence the age suggestion), and Two, people who have no experience with a situation like this. I'd love to hear from a woman who was approached by a hearing man, or who wanted someone to approach them, or how you'd like to be approached, etc. Thanks!

violet · 10-28-2009, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderlust King

There is a girl in my college class who I find attractive, and she is deaf. I want to approach her, I just don't know how to do it. I'm nervous for several reasons. Will she think I am trying to take advantage of her because of the fact she is deaf and I want to get to know her? Will she be offended if I wrote her a note that said "My name is __________. I'd like to get to know you better if you're interested in making a new friend

. My e-mail is ___________". Any and all advice would be appreciated, and if you have more questions for me for a better understanding of the entire situation, please feel free to e-mail me. I consider myself an open-minded person, and I like to hear people's opinions. I tried Yahoo answers but experienced two things: One, 14 year old girls who think they know everything (hence the age suggestion), and Two, people who have no experience with a situation like this. I'd love to hear from a woman who was approached by a hearing man, or who wanted someone to approach them, or how you'd like to be approached, etc. Thanks!

Not to boast at all.. whatsoever.. but men have approached me tbut im also a bit too friendly so . I'll allow it.. but if you're in her class.. then I'm sure it'd be fine.. ( I'm hearing) but i am a girl so Im trying to give you my girly input... Just be brief so she's not too creeped out
Im sure she knows you though and just say just wanted to say hi. and if you wanted to talk sometime heres my email ...... i'd really like to get to know you. you seem like a wonderful person? i dunno.. Girls are all different
You could always learn a little ASL and impress her.. that would surely catch her eye

Im really easy to talk to so i really don't know what you should start by telling her. what you've got sounds good to me though

Hope something works out
sorry im not much help!

AliciaM · 10-29-2009, 12:18 AM

I don't think she would think that way...if she is comfortable with her deafness she shouldn't think of deafness as her first issue with you...she will prolly just think hmm is he a nice guy? Im deaf and the first thing I think of in a man or a woman is hmm I want to get to know this person or may not..but my deafness is far from my mind

daystarnite · 10-29-2009, 12:56 AM

We're human and we all like to interact with people and flirt, too. If I had a guy who gave me that note, I would be excited because hey he likes me. I wouldn't think a guy would try to take advantage of me due to deafness, unless he's treating me like I couldn't take care of myself, such as taking over my life or treating me like crap.

Perhaps you could start off writing notes back and forth for fun (I'd love that) and then once you guys got things going, give her your email address or phone number for text messaging if she have the cellphone. I don't see any harm in doing so since we're human and we're all different.

Can she talk/lip read? I can speak and lip-read so writing notes back and forth are usually not needed, depending on where you guys are communicating. If done in class, then yeah it's a good idea, just don't get in trouble. Show her that you're willing and interesting and wanting to learn ASL. Just take it slow, in getting to know each other. Who knows what would happened. I don't know her personality. She could be outgoing or she could be shy. So I cannot say how would she may react about it.

Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

ASLtees · 10-29-2009, 01:37 AM

RESPECT, KINDNESS, AND FLIRTING ARE THE SAME IN ANY LANGUAGE

Keep it real and good luck

ASLtees · 10-29-2009, 01:43 AM

Oh and yes learn some sign for sure!!

sara1981 · 10-29-2009, 04:27 AM

my boyfriend James also hearing but he very respect me and he know im deaf he nearly 30 years old in March and im now 28 years old.

he and me been dating since 2007 for 2 years but he and me dont wanted hurried getting married remind of my parents in 1977 in youngers i told my mom about that discussion my marriages plans.I dont want my family get crazy plans get married hurried but i wanted wait for time get married in my true love.

James is also Britishman in his lifes and im also raise American in my life

lianne · 10-29-2009, 06:43 AM

It looks like you have had loads of good advice already but i'll put in my 2 pence (cents) in anyway...

I think the notes are an excellent idea! I'm shy with guys and would definately like that. There's nothing wrong with putting your e-mail on, whats the worst that could happen? she wont email you... If she doesnt, be a bit more persistant, but playful. Ooh and definately try and learn ASL, it will show you are willing to put effort into your friendship/ relationship, even if its just fingerspelling or "my name is...."

Good luck, and keep us nosey ADers updated on your progress!

sallylou · 10-29-2009, 09:16 AM

Offering to buy her a cup of coffee is a nice, casual way to get to know her. Then ya'll can chat.

PowerON · 10-29-2009, 09:54 AM

Most male don't know or suck at sign language. I suggest you to learn how to use for communicate. If you don't, it would be hard for her.

Wonderlust King · 10-29-2009, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daystarnite

We're human and we all like to interact with people and flirt, too. If I had a guy who gave me that note, I would be excited because hey he likes me. I wouldn't think a guy would try to take advantage of me due to deafness, unless he's treating me like I couldn't take care of myself, such as taking over my life or treating me like crap.

Perhaps you could start off writing notes back and forth for fun (I'd love that) and then once you guys got things going, give her your email address or phone number for text messaging if she have the cellphone. I don't see any harm in doing so since we're human and we're all different.

Can she talk/lip read? I can speak and lip-read so writing notes back and forth are usually not needed, depending on where you guys are communicating. If done in class, then yeah it's a good idea, just don't get in trouble. Show her that you're willing and interesting and wanting to learn ASL. Just take it slow, in getting to know each other. Who knows what would happened. I don't know her personality. She could be outgoing or she could be shy. So I cannot say how would she may react about it.

Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

I'm not sure if she can talk or lip read...I've smiled at her a couple times, that's about all the interaction we've had, haha. You had great advice with great reminders. Thank you!

Wonderlust King · 10-29-2009, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lianne

It looks like you have had loads of good advice already but i'll put in my 2 pence (cents) in anyway...

I think the notes are an excellent idea! I'm shy with guys and would definately like that. There's nothing wrong with putting your e-mail on, whats the worst that could happen? she wont email you... If she doesnt, be a bit more persistant, but playful. Ooh and definately try and learn ASL, it will show you are willing to put effort into your friendship/ relationship, even if its just fingerspelling or "my name is...."

Good luck, and keep us nosey ADers updated on your progress!

Thanks, I will keep you posted! When I get the guts to do it, anyway, hah. I'll try learning some introductory ASL!

Wonderlust King · 10-29-2009, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sara1981

my boyfriend James also hearing but he very respect me and he know im deaf he nearly 30 years old in March and im now 28 years old.

he and me been dating since 2007 for 2 years but he and me dont wanted hurried getting married remind of my parents in 1977 in youngers i told my mom about that discussion my marriages plans.I dont want my family get crazy plans get married hurried but i wanted wait for time get married in my true love.

James is also Britishman in his lifes and im also raise American in my life

What a great story. Thanks for your advice and input! I appreciate it.

Wonderlust King · 10-29-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASLtees

RESPECT, KINDNESS, AND FLIRTING ARE THE SAME IN ANY LANGUAGE

Keep it real and good luck

This was a great answer, too! I'll be sure to remember it. Thanks!

Partygirl · 10-29-2009, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderlust King

Will she be offended if I wrote her a note that said "My name is __________. I'd like to get to know you better if you're interested in making a new friend

. My e-mail is ___________".

I think that is lovely. Say it just like that! good luck!

violet · 10-29-2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PowerON

Most male don't know or suck at sign language. I suggest you to learn how to use for communicate. If you don't, it would be hard for her.

hahaha that first part is so true!

anakin · 11-15-2009, 06:49 PM

haha, i've had several men from classes send me a message like that. i haven't replied to any of them.. i find it kinda creepy, but that's just me.

10-28-2009, 10:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Wonderlust King Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: California Posts: 11	A question from a hearing man to deaf women (ages 18 and up) There is a girl in my college class who I find attractive, and she is deaf. I want to approach her, I just don't know how to do it. I'm nervous for several reasons. Will she think I am trying to take advantage of her because of the fact she is deaf and I want to get to know her? Will she be offended if I wrote her a note that said "My name is __________. I'd like to get to know you better if you're interested in making a new friend . My e-mail is ___________". Any and all advice would be appreciated, and if you have more questions for me for a better understanding of the entire situation, please feel free to e-mail me. I consider myself an open-minded person, and I like to hear people's opinions. I tried Yahoo answers but experienced two things: One, 14 year old girls who think they know everything (hence the age suggestion), and Two, people who have no experience with a situation like this. I'd love to hear from a woman who was approached by a hearing man, or who wanted someone to approach them, or how you'd like to be approached, etc. Thanks!

10-29-2009, 12:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
AliciaM Midge Join Date: May 2006 Location: Ottawa, ON Posts: 1,603	I don't think she would think that way...if she is comfortable with her deafness she shouldn't think of deafness as her first issue with you...she will prolly just think hmm is he a nice guy? Im deaf and the first thing I think of in a man or a woman is hmm I want to get to know this person or may not..but my deafness is far from my mind __________________ Alicia Phonak versatas Severe loss deaf Ears are cheap. It's what's between the ears that counts

10-29-2009, 12:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
daystarnite Loving DeafCaver Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Roanoke, VA Posts: 194	26 & Deaf We're human and we all like to interact with people and flirt, too. If I had a guy who gave me that note, I would be excited because hey he likes me. I wouldn't think a guy would try to take advantage of me due to deafness, unless he's treating me like I couldn't take care of myself, such as taking over my life or treating me like crap. Perhaps you could start off writing notes back and forth for fun (I'd love that) and then once you guys got things going, give her your email address or phone number for text messaging if she have the cellphone. I don't see any harm in doing so since we're human and we're all different. Can she talk/lip read? I can speak and lip-read so writing notes back and forth are usually not needed, depending on where you guys are communicating. If done in class, then yeah it's a good idea, just don't get in trouble. Show her that you're willing and interesting and wanting to learn ASL. Just take it slow, in getting to know each other. Who knows what would happened. I don't know her personality. She could be outgoing or she could be shy. So I cannot say how would she may react about it. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. __________________

10-29-2009, 04:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
sara1981 Pandy the Beagle Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: North Little Rock,Ar Posts: 4,827	my boyfriend James also hearing but he very respect me and he know im deaf he nearly 30 years old in March and im now 28 years old. he and me been dating since 2007 for 2 years but he and me dont wanted hurried getting married remind of my parents in 1977 in youngers i told my mom about that discussion my marriages plans.I dont want my family get crazy plans get married hurried but i wanted wait for time get married in my true love. James is also Britishman in his lifes and im also raise American in my life __________________ WWE Dave Batista

10-29-2009, 09:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,087	Offering to buy her a cup of coffee is a nice, casual way to get to know her. Then ya'll can chat. __________________ Happy holidays!

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10-29-2009, 01:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
ASLtees ASLtees Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Newton, Iowa & Austin, Texas Posts: 47	RESPECT, KINDNESS, AND FLIRTING ARE THE SAME IN ANY LANGUAGE Keep it real and good luck

10-29-2009, 01:43 AM	#6 (permalink)
ASLtees ASLtees Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Newton, Iowa & Austin, Texas Posts: 47	Oh and yes learn some sign for sure!!

10-29-2009, 06:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
lianne Coloratura Diva Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Posts: 31	It looks like you have had loads of good advice already but i'll put in my 2 pence (cents) in anyway... I think the notes are an excellent idea! I'm shy with guys and would definately like that. There's nothing wrong with putting your e-mail on, whats the worst that could happen? she wont email you... If she doesnt, be a bit more persistant, but playful. Ooh and definately try and learn ASL, it will show you are willing to put effort into your friendship/ relationship, even if its just fingerspelling or "my name is...." Good luck, and keep us nosey ADers updated on your progress!

10-29-2009, 09:54 AM	#10 (permalink)
PowerON Click me 12 time Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Suddenly, I'm cowboy. Posts: 6,863 Blog Entries: 4	Most male don't know or suck at sign language. I suggest you to learn how to use for communicate. If you don't, it would be hard for her. __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

11-15-2009, 06:49 PM	#17 (permalink)
anakin i don't think so Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 178	haha, i've had several men from classes send me a message like that. i haven't replied to any of them.. i find it kinda creepy, but that's just me.

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