how long is it okay to wait for a date - Page 2

mariano · 08-08-2009, 02:54 PM

Here is how it usually works for me. I meet the person, then we might talk on the phone ones during that week and end up setting something up to hang out. We usually end up kissing by the second or third time we hang out (second or third week). We end up getting physical (bed) by the end of the first month or sometimes during the second month. If it all works well, you keep seeing that person, otherwise, you move on. I don't ask them to be in an exclusive relationship unless I really like them and until about the 3rd or 4th month. However, most women will start asking you what is going on about the second or third time that they have slept with you...

jamescoleman · 08-08-2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariano

Here is how it usually works for me. I meet the person, then we might talk on the phone ones during that week and end up setting something up to hang out. We usually end up kissing by the second or third time we hang out (second or third week). We end up getting physical (bed) by the end of the first month or sometimes during the second month. If it all works well, you keep seeing that person, otherwise, you move on. I don't ask them to be in an exclusive relationship unless I really like them and until about the 3rd or 4th month. However, most women will start asking you what is going on about the second or third time that they have slept with you...

That's really going fast.

sallylou · 08-13-2009, 06:05 AM

Yes, that seems fast to me, too. That would have scared me off. Each person is different, I guess.

James, enjoy meeting new people and do whatever feels comfortable for you.

P.S. I'm partial to people named James because I have a son named James. Great name, it is!

mariano · 08-13-2009, 01:30 PM

I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?

shel90 · 08-13-2009, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariano

I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?

It is not fast for me. It was how I roll too when I was single.

jamescoleman · 08-13-2009, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

Yes, that seems fast to me, too. That would have scared me off. Each person is different, I guess.

James, enjoy meeting new people and do whatever feels comfortable for you.

P.S. I'm partial to people named James because I have a son named James. Great name, it is!

I woulda thought it would scare off girls as well.
Yea James is a good name to have

lol

jamescoleman · 08-13-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariano

I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?

It might be because you are in a bigger city and theres alot of people available to date. I just couldn't go that fast.

mariano · 08-13-2009, 03:32 PM

Yea, I think it all comes down to comfort. However, if you are a guy, you might want to speed things up, as long as you don't make the gal feel uncomfortable... Why speed things up? The reality is that if you don't someone else will. I know it sounds wrong, but that is the truth...

CJB · 08-13-2009, 05:26 PM

It depends on the people. Some people click really fast and others take a long time to develop a relationship. So if you click fast, then a few weeks might be plenty, but if you take longer than maybe closer to a year.

yagazn · 08-13-2009, 07:53 PM

Get a date for fun experience. See how that goes, If it doesn't work out then move on. Always plenty of fishes in the sea. One day, you'll fall in love with that person.

Life's too short.

mariano · 08-14-2009, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yagazn

Get a date for fun experience. See how that goes, If it doesn't work out then move on. Always plenty of fishes in the sea. One day, you'll fall in love with that person.

Life's too short.

Amen!

jamescoleman · 08-14-2009, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariano

Yea, I think it all comes down to comfort. However, if you are a guy, you might want to speed things up, as long as you don't make the gal feel uncomfortable... Why speed things up? The reality is that if you don't someone else will. I know it sounds wrong, but that is the truth...

I wouldn't know if I was making her uncomfortable. It would be awkward if I were to ask her if she was feeling that way. I guess she'll maybe just try to slow things down by planning things herself to counter the plans I've made. I'm really slow at picking up hints sometimes, especially with girls. So are you telling me that she'll find another guy that will speed things up while we're dating?

jamescoleman · 08-14-2009, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yagazn

Get a date for fun experience. See how that goes, If it doesn't work out then move on. Always plenty of fishes in the sea. One day, you'll fall in love with that person.

Life's too short.

I don't think that I would having fun with dating girls just to see where things will go. I'd rather date someone that I'll have a chance with because if I date some random girl and start to really like her and she turns me down, I won't be happy. I feel that life is a long process, it's just because people don't remember everything in the past is what makes it "short".

yagazn · 08-14-2009, 03:36 PM

Better chance than thinking. You've been rejected before but so what. There's always many gals out there for you to reject. (I'm just kidding, of course both guys or gals always get turn down) You have to keep trying, don't give up. You'll find true love one day, don't worry.

Don't try to be so deseparetly. Take your time.

Peace

jamescoleman · 08-15-2009, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yagazn

Better chance than thinking. You've been rejected before but so what. There's always many gals out there for you to reject. (I'm just kidding, of course both guys or gals always get turn down) You have to keep trying, don't give up. You'll find true love one day, don't worry.

Don't try to be so deseparetly. Take your time.

Peace

Trust me, I'm not trying to be desperate. I've met alot of girls that I would date on the spot but for some reason or another, I couldn't. I'm working on getting a girlfriend just about all the time.

Cowpuppy · 08-15-2009, 02:52 PM

Damn....you'll never find one like that. Possible but.....
The purpose of dating is to ge tto know someone......it's not considered like 'we are a couple' because we are dating now.
Gals or guys will think ya not interested and take offense or moved on......

mariano · 08-15-2009, 03:13 PM

I hope no one takes offense to the following analogy... Dating is like shopping for a guitar. You have an idea of the sound that you want. Then you go play a few guitars to see which one feels and sounds good. Then you take the best one home. It is not rocket science.

Cowpuppy · 08-15-2009, 11:57 PM

And when the guitar finds out you looked at other guitars she let's anyone play her.....her strings pop (loudly) and she makes screeching noises when you try to sing to her. Demands new strings and will not once evercarry a sweet tune again.
So....what happens next....well come on.....smashing pumpkins ring a bell? Boing......nope....she's sold to a second hand store where speedfreaks oogle all over her and take her home to never let her sleep again. Untilthat one guy comesalong carressing he rproperly and making her all play sweet tunes again.
THEN HE JOINS A ROAD BAND. fawk...what an idiot. BIG SMILE.

jamescoleman · 08-16-2009, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowpuppy

Damn....you'll never find one like that. Possible but.....
The purpose of dating is to ge tto know someone......it's not considered like 'we are a couple' because we are dating now.
Gals or guys will think ya not interested and take offense or moved on......

I guess that works. Yet hanging out with friends that I'm attracted to, wouldn't that kinda be like dating?

jamescoleman · 08-16-2009, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowpuppy

And when the guitar finds out you looked at other guitars she let's anyone play her.....her strings pop (loudly) and she makes screeching noises when you try to sing to her. Demands new strings and will not once evercarry a sweet tune again.
So....what happens next....well come on.....smashing pumpkins ring a bell? Boing......nope....she's sold to a second hand store where speedfreaks oogle all over her and take her home to never let her sleep again. Untilthat one guy comesalong carressing he rproperly and making her all play sweet tunes again.
THEN HE JOINS A ROAD BAND. fawk...what an idiot. BIG SMILE.

I am sooo lost by this one.

Cowpuppy · 08-16-2009, 12:30 AM

Hey James....It was just humor....a continuation of the anology Mariano stated.....idiot reference was to the guy who took the guitar and joined the road band....assumption being the guitar (woman) turned wild...etc etc.
Uhmm.....hanging out with gal ..or whatever... yeah ya get to know them but ...the one you are attracted to doesn't know it till you tell her.....by asking for a date. Well you'll get to know the real her...but she could hook up with someone while you wait. Asking for the date and tell her you're attracted explain ya wanna take it slow...they usually like that. Depends what's going on in your life and her life what your ages are etc.They can tell you're attracted....but get annoyed if you just wanna hang out thinking you're a couple. that's kinda like manipulating.

Cowpuppy · 08-16-2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mariano

I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?

no that's not fast....but going on for 3-4 months before deciding is a little slow. lol.called checking out the merchandise. despite television and big city players........not real life.
yeah I'd probably says what's up once I sensed you were just checking out the merchandise (for 4 months) come on. If I was a female that is lol.

shel90 · 08-16-2009, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamescoleman

I guess that works. Yet hanging out with friends that I'm attracted to, wouldn't that kinda be like dating?

I dont think so. I hang out with my neighbor and I am a little attracted to him cuz he is so cute and has such a great personality but I keep the line drawn as I have too much respect for him as a friend and too much respect for my marriage. My hubby knows that I find him attractive just like I know that he finds some of my female friends attractive. It is human nature but our responsibility to draw the line. If you feel that you prefer not to go over that line with your friends, then it is not dating but if you are attracted to them with the intention of dating, then it is a whole another ball game.

That's just my opinion as I am very open about how I feel and not ashamed of them.

jamescoleman · 08-16-2009, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I dont think so. I hang out with my neighbor and I am a little attracted to him cuz he is so cute and has such a great personality but I keep the line drawn as I have too much respect for him as a friend and too much respect for my marriage. My hubby knows that I find him attractive just like I know that he finds some of my female friends attractive. It is human nature but our responsibility to draw the line. If you feel that you prefer not to go over that line with your friends, then it is not dating but if you are attracted to them with the intention of dating, then it is a whole another ball game.

That's just my opinion as I am very open about how I feel and not ashamed of them.

That makes sense but if someone were around the other person more, wouldn't it make it harder for that someone to not date the other person??? I understand about drawing the line but it just seem's like that would happen.

shel90 · 08-16-2009, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamescoleman

That makes sense but if someone were around the other person more, wouldn't it make it harder for that someone to not date the other person??? I understand about drawing the line but it just seem's like that would happen.

it all depends on circumstances..are both single and attracted to each other? If so, then what's stopping them from dating? Fear of ruining the friendship? If that's important to both of them, then up to them to draw that line or not.

Cowpuppy · 08-16-2009, 01:59 PM

Once again....your comment makes it sound like you are hoping that you become a couple without having to actually come out and ask for a date or talk about it. It is a lack of communication..and a form of manipulation...and women don't like you to assume the two of you are suddenly an item without discussing it. It's slow manipulation.
Besides....you deserve to find out and if it's a no go then you can move on and find someone else. Times a wastin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamescoleman

That makes sense but if someone were around the other person more, wouldn't it make it harder for that someone to not date the other person??? I understand about drawing the line but it just seem's like that would happen.

jamescoleman · 08-16-2009, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

it all depends on circumstances..are both single and attracted to each other? If so, then what's stopping them from dating? Fear of ruining the friendship? If that's important to both of them, then up to them to draw that line or not.

Makes sense

jamescoleman · 08-16-2009, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowpuppy

Once again....your comment makes it sound like you are hoping that you become a couple without having to actually come out and ask for a date or talk about it. It is a lack of communication..and a form of manipulation...and women don't like you to assume the two of you are suddenly an item without discussing it. It's slow manipulation.
Besides....you deserve to find out and if it's a no go then you can move on and find someone else. Times a wastin.

I'm not dating anyone because I can't.... yet.
How is it slow manipulation when it could be mutual instead?
It's not like if we're going to be dating for three months and someone asks
if we're together, I'll agree with that. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone
but if she starts to think we're a couple.... wouldn't she start to seem like
the one who is manipulating things?

damienmommy · 08-17-2009, 07:51 AM

Ummm, I think it doesn't matter of how long to wait till start dating. It really depends on how people feel. Sometimes they have first sight love, sometimes they falling in love in few weeks later or months or years. It's really many different of people's feeling. My ex bf and I don't date till 5 years later then finally dating. And other ex bf of mine, we finally dating after 4 months. Another ex bf and I finally dating after 1 year. But currently one boyfriend and I started to dating after 2 months, now we are together for almost 2 years already.

damienmommy · 08-17-2009, 07:53 AM

never make a plans for wait for 2 years..just say nothing, and make nothing plans. Wait till you fall in love with a girl then GO ask her out if you feel fully trust her. Then go for it, don't wait.

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08-08-2009, 02:54 PM	#31 (permalink)
mariano Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 144	Here is how it usually works for me. I meet the person, then we might talk on the phone ones during that week and end up setting something up to hang out. We usually end up kissing by the second or third time we hang out (second or third week). We end up getting physical (bed) by the end of the first month or sometimes during the second month. If it all works well, you keep seeing that person, otherwise, you move on. I don't ask them to be in an exclusive relationship unless I really like them and until about the 3rd or 4th month. However, most women will start asking you what is going on about the second or third time that they have slept with you...

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08-13-2009, 06:05 AM	#33 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,098	Yes, that seems fast to me, too. That would have scared me off. Each person is different, I guess. James, enjoy meeting new people and do whatever feels comfortable for you. P.S. I'm partial to people named James because I have a son named James. Great name, it is!

08-13-2009, 01:30 PM	#34 (permalink)
mariano Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 144	I don't think that is fast at all. This is how things usually work for both my friends and I. Then again, I live in a big city, so that might change things?

08-13-2009, 03:32 PM	#38 (permalink)
mariano Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 144	Yea, I think it all comes down to comfort. However, if you are a guy, you might want to speed things up, as long as you don't make the gal feel uncomfortable... Why speed things up? The reality is that if you don't someone else will. I know it sounds wrong, but that is the truth...

08-13-2009, 05:26 PM	#39 (permalink)
CJB deafblind writer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: U.S. Posts: 1,426	It depends on the people. Some people click really fast and others take a long time to develop a relationship. So if you click fast, then a few weeks might be plenty, but if you take longer than maybe closer to a year.

08-13-2009, 07:53 PM	#40 (permalink)
yagazn taking a break from AD Join Date: May 2008 Location: Yag in Neverland Posts: 2,493	Get a date for fun experience. See how that goes, If it doesn't work out then move on. Always plenty of fishes in the sea. One day, you'll fall in love with that person. Life's too short.

08-14-2009, 03:36 PM	#44 (permalink)
yagazn taking a break from AD Join Date: May 2008 Location: Yag in Neverland Posts: 2,493	Better chance than thinking. You've been rejected before but so what. There's always many gals out there for you to reject. (I'm just kidding, of course both guys or gals always get turn down) You have to keep trying, don't give up. You'll find true love one day, don't worry. Don't try to be so deseparetly. Take your time. Peace

08-15-2009, 02:52 PM	#46 (permalink)
Cowpuppy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: On The Road Again Posts: 618	Damn....you'll never find one like that. Possible but..... The purpose of dating is to ge tto know someone......it's not considered like 'we are a couple' because we are dating now. Gals or guys will think ya not interested and take offense or moved on......

08-15-2009, 03:13 PM	#47 (permalink)
mariano Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 144	I hope no one takes offense to the following analogy... Dating is like shopping for a guitar. You have an idea of the sound that you want. Then you go play a few guitars to see which one feels and sounds good. Then you take the best one home. It is not rocket science.

08-15-2009, 11:57 PM	#48 (permalink)
Cowpuppy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: On The Road Again Posts: 618	And when the guitar finds out you looked at other guitars she let's anyone play her.....her strings pop (loudly) and she makes screeching noises when you try to sing to her. Demands new strings and will not once evercarry a sweet tune again. So....what happens next....well come on.....smashing pumpkins ring a bell? Boing......nope....she's sold to a second hand store where speedfreaks oogle all over her and take her home to never let her sleep again. Untilthat one guy comesalong carressing he rproperly and making her all play sweet tunes again. THEN HE JOINS A ROAD BAND. fawk...what an idiot. BIG SMILE.

08-16-2009, 12:30 AM	#51 (permalink)
Cowpuppy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: On The Road Again Posts: 618	Hey James....It was just humor....a continuation of the anology Mariano stated.....idiot reference was to the guy who took the guitar and joined the road band....assumption being the guitar (woman) turned wild...etc etc. Uhmm.....hanging out with gal ..or whatever... yeah ya get to know them but ...the one you are attracted to doesn't know it till you tell her.....by asking for a date. Well you'll get to know the real her...but she could hook up with someone while you wait. Asking for the date and tell her you're attracted explain ya wanna take it slow...they usually like that. Depends what's going on in your life and her life what your ages are etc.They can tell you're attracted....but get annoyed if you just wanna hang out thinking you're a couple. that's kinda like manipulating.

08-17-2009, 07:51 AM	#59 (permalink)
damienmommy Damien and Melika's mommy Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 360	Ummm, I think it doesn't matter of how long to wait till start dating. It really depends on how people feel. Sometimes they have first sight love, sometimes they falling in love in few weeks later or months or years. It's really many different of people's feeling. My ex bf and I don't date till 5 years later then finally dating. And other ex bf of mine, we finally dating after 4 months. Another ex bf and I finally dating after 1 year. But currently one boyfriend and I started to dating after 2 months, now we are together for almost 2 years already.

08-17-2009, 07:53 AM	#60 (permalink)
damienmommy Damien and Melika's mommy Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 360	never make a plans for wait for 2 years..just say nothing, and make nothing plans. Wait till you fall in love with a girl then GO ask her out if you feel fully trust her. Then go for it, don't wait.