What would u do if u dated someone that had a child that disrespected u?

ricky_rick77 · 07-07-2009, 02:57 PM

what would you do if u dated a woman that had a 12 year old child that would try to talk down to you because the childs dad would tell the child bad things about you because he did not like that u were with the childs mom, the father is constantly talking bad about me and does not even know me. the mother will not let me defend my self by talking to the father because she is affraid it will hurt her daughter!

the father is one of the vice presidents of a bank and he thinks the world revovles around him, he looks down on me because he thinks he knows something about my financial status, he talks about my weight, he says things about my hearing impairment but this guy knows absolutly nothing about me. he is saying these things to a 12 year old, the daughter will be nice sometimes but when her dad is comming around she will be rude to me and try to disrespect me. just recently the daughter disrespected me and i put my foot down and told the daughter that i am a adult and she should learn to respect and the mother said that i had no right to say that to her daughter because she is the mother and she will enforce the rules in her house, well she didnt say nothing and i am sick of being talked to that way by a twelve year old.

well the mother had a talk with her daughter and the mother assured me that it wont happen again but i am sure once the father starts talking again the daughter will be back at it. could anybody help me out with any suggestions? should i just leave the woman i am dating?

ATTN: BABYBLU

I have been in the relationship a lil over a year and my girlfriend has been divorced from her ex for 8 years but the child has been seeing her father all along.

Babyblue · 07-07-2009, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ricky_rick77

what would you do if u dated a woman that had a 12 year old child that would try to talk down to you because the childs dad would tell the child bad things about you because he did not like that u were with the childs mom, the father is constantly talking bad about me and does not even know me. the mother will not let me defend my self by talking to the father because she is affraid it will hurt her daughter! should i stay or should i go

WOW! That is a tough one.

IMO. I would sit down with the lady you are dating and the child.

Tell them that you are not trying to replace the father, and that you love her mother very much. And willing to work with her to show that you are a caring compassionate person.

I would not approach the Father at all due to it will create more friction between you and your Girlfriends daughter. Most important. Do not speak bad about her father in front of her.

If you are angry and bitter towards the father the child will sense that and resent you more for hating her dad.

~*Kaelei*~ · 07-07-2009, 05:40 PM

wow, that is tough situation.... perhaps you could either talk to the lady that you're dating and try to work this out? And perhaps you could sit down with the child and try to explain that you're not taking her mother away or taking her father's place?

If that doesn't work.... perhaps you should just... I donno, end the relationship?

rockin'robin · 07-07-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babyblue

WOW! That is a tough one.

IMO. I would sit down with the lady you are dating and the child.

Tell them that you are not trying to replace the father, and that you love her mother very much. And willing to work with her to show that you are a caring compassionate person.

I would not approach the Father at all due to it will create more friction between you and your Girlfriends daughter. Most important. Do not speak bad about her father in front of her.

If you are angry and bitter towards the father the child will sense that and resent you more for hating her dad.

Good advise!....It's possible the child's father wants to reunite with the woman.....so, if you really love/care about the woman....sometimes you have to "grin and bear it", especially when children are involved....Usually, time takes care of things like this. The more the child is around you and gets to know you better, she will "form her own opinion", as she is 12 yrs. old.....Sooner or later, the father is gonna look like a "jack ass"....it's just up to you to make sure that doesn't happen....be nice and civil when discussing it, don't lose ur temper.

Babyblue · 07-07-2009, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ricky_rick77

what would you do if u dated a woman that had a 12 year old child that would try to talk down to you because the childs dad would tell the child bad things about you because he did not like that u were with the childs mom, the father is constantly talking bad about me and does not even know me. the mother will not let me defend my self by talking to the father because she is affraid it will hurt her daughter!

the father is one of the vice presidents of a bank and he thinks the world revovles around him, he looks down on me because he thinks he knows something about my financial status, he talks about my weight, he says things about my hearing impairment but this guy knows absolutly nothing about me. he is saying these things to a 12 year old, the daughter will be nice sometimes but when her dad is comming around she will be rude to me and try to disrespect me. just recently the daughter disrespected me and i put my foot down and told the daughter that i am a adult and she should learn to respect and the mother said that i had no right to say that to her daughter because she is the mother and she will enforce the rules in her house, well she didnt say nothing and i am sick of being talked to that way by a twelve year old.

well the mother had a talk with her daughter and the mother assured me that it wont happen again but i am sure once the father starts talking again the daughter will be back at it. could anybody help me out with any suggestions? should i just leave the woman i am dating?

Too Add.... How long have you been in this relationship with your girlfriend.

Also... How long has she been separated from the childs father. That is also a factor.

Cheri · 07-07-2009, 10:05 PM

For the 12 years old who is disrespecting you, just give her some time to come around and to really get to know you, maybe down the road the relationship between you and her will change eventually. Don't dwell too much on what the father says about you nor thinks of you. I believe he may feel that his daughter is being taken away from him when his ex wife, ex gf is currently dating someone else. I really do believe there are some anger and jealousy in there when he told his daughter some bad things about you. Just focus your attention to the woman you're dating and the daughter.

Hang in there and remain strong.

Doug5 · 07-08-2009, 11:41 AM

Your girlfriend sounds emasculating. I would dump her and bitchy daughter

Mrs Bucket · 07-08-2009, 12:22 PM

Sometimes the child may not realise that she is self-projecting her father's hatred towards you. It may help that you sit down with her and express your feelings you typed here to her.

A parent's love and hatred holds so much power in a child's life. Children always want to please their parents and this holds so much truth especially when they want to make sure their parents are together.

Like Cheri said.. hang in there. (hugs)

EmberRose · 07-12-2009, 12:15 AM

....I've been in a relationship with a man who has TWO children (3 and 10 currently). Neither they NOR their mothers are allowed to disrespect me.

You don't like your children badmouth someone you care about. I would be questioning her intentions/motives.

07-07-2009, 02:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
ricky_rick77 Everything Has A Reason! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Little Rock, AR Posts: 21	What would u do if u dated someone that had a child that disrespected u? what would you do if u dated a woman that had a 12 year old child that would try to talk down to you because the childs dad would tell the child bad things about you because he did not like that u were with the childs mom, the father is constantly talking bad about me and does not even know me. the mother will not let me defend my self by talking to the father because she is affraid it will hurt her daughter! the father is one of the vice presidents of a bank and he thinks the world revovles around him, he looks down on me because he thinks he knows something about my financial status, he talks about my weight, he says things about my hearing impairment but this guy knows absolutly nothing about me. he is saying these things to a 12 year old, the daughter will be nice sometimes but when her dad is comming around she will be rude to me and try to disrespect me. just recently the daughter disrespected me and i put my foot down and told the daughter that i am a adult and she should learn to respect and the mother said that i had no right to say that to her daughter because she is the mother and she will enforce the rules in her house, well she didnt say nothing and i am sick of being talked to that way by a twelve year old. well the mother had a talk with her daughter and the mother assured me that it wont happen again but i am sure once the father starts talking again the daughter will be back at it. could anybody help me out with any suggestions? should i just leave the woman i am dating? ATTN: BABYBLU I have been in the relationship a lil over a year and my girlfriend has been divorced from her ex for 8 years but the child has been seeing her father all along. Last edited by ricky_rick77; 07-08-2009 at 11:05 AM.

07-07-2009, 05:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
~Kaelei~ Wishing Upon A Star Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Vancouver, Washington Posts: 1,354	wow, that is tough situation.... perhaps you could either talk to the lady that you're dating and try to work this out? And perhaps you could sit down with the child and try to explain that you're not taking her mother away or taking her father's place? If that doesn't work.... perhaps you should just... I donno, end the relationship? __________________

07-07-2009, 10:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,618	For the 12 years old who is disrespecting you, just give her some time to come around and to really get to know you, maybe down the road the relationship between you and her will change eventually. Don't dwell too much on what the father says about you nor thinks of you. I believe he may feel that his daughter is being taken away from him when his ex wife, ex gf is currently dating someone else. I really do believe there are some anger and jealousy in there when he told his daughter some bad things about you. Just focus your attention to the woman you're dating and the daughter. Hang in there and remain strong. __________________ God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow and sun without rain, But God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

07-08-2009, 12:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mrs Bucket has retired from AllDeaf. Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,348	Sometimes the child may not realise that she is self-projecting her father's hatred towards you. It may help that you sit down with her and express your feelings you typed here to her. A parent's love and hatred holds so much power in a child's life. Children always want to please their parents and this holds so much truth especially when they want to make sure their parents are together. Like Cheri said.. hang in there. (hugs) __________________ My new nieces/nephews are arriving soon!

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07-08-2009, 11:41 AM	#7 (permalink)
Doug5 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 551	Your girlfriend sounds emasculating. I would dump her and bitchy daughter

07-12-2009, 12:15 AM	#9 (permalink)
EmberRose Registered User Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 4	....I've been in a relationship with a man who has TWO children (3 and 10 currently). Neither they NOR their mothers are allowed to disrespect me. You don't like your children badmouth someone you care about. I would be questioning her intentions/motives.