shel90

They "should" do this or that? Why r u expecting them to follow your rules? They don't have to do anything what other people say. This is their personal lives and their business. That's exactly what I mean about forcing one's opinions on others. If u don't agree to it, don't do it but if others do it, u can disagree but telling them they "should" do this or that is imposing your beliefs on them.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Deafness

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Reba

If they want to be honest, then they should call it adultery. Of course, if they don't want to be honest, then that's their business, and they will have to live with the consequences.

The adulterers shouldn't force other people to accept their behavior. That's what I call imposing their beliefs on others.

They aren't my rules. If adulterers want to break their vows and commit fornication, there is no reason the rest of us have to accept them as honorable people.

I guess no people who are doing the wrong things want to be told that they are doing wrong. Who does? I suppose even pedophiles don't like people telling them that they're doing something bad. But the less we speak out about wrong behavior, the more it becomes accepted.

If people who commit adultery think it's OK, then it shouldn't bother them to be called adulterers, and it shouldn't bother them to be criticized.

If it does bother them, maybe there is still a spark of conscience left inside them.

shel90

I can't speak for them as I don't participate in open marriages. (Too selfish to share my hubby lol) but I do agree that they shouldn't force anyone to agree with their lifestyles. In my opinion, both parties "should" agree to disagree.

I don't see where they r forcing people to agree with their lifestyle but if they r then they won't win.

I guess I am just the kind of person who believes in as long as whatever people do doesn't hurt children or society (I don't believe this hurts society ), it is their personal and private lives and just support them instead of criticizing them. That's just me. I don't see how one behaves in their bedroom can affect children and society unless they start forcing them to adopt the same beliefs and vice versa.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Babyblue

If a couple wants to get their jollys off of playing around on each other. Then it is at their risk.

Personally, I can not see myself doing that nor, allowing my Spouse to do so.

It was not long ago, they had a cruise just for swingers. Out of Port of Tampa.

Banjo

Here's the problem, Reba isn't wrong. It is adultery, no matter how one try to put it in a different light. It is still adultery as defined in the dictionary. That's what Reba is trying to point out. People here are saying otherwise. You see, the definition of a word cannot be argued with. Reba isn't wrong by saying it is adultery. She is not telling you what to do, she is telling you that people cannot expect the society to accept it because it won't happen anytime soon.

shel90

Huh? Telling me what to do? She isn't telling me to do anything.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Maria

I have to say this that I agree with Reba. It's still adultery, no matter how you look at it -- it is STILL committed adultery.

web730

Count me a third... open marriage is adultery.

We should not allow the to poison the society think it's okay, that's their business, blah-blah. It makes no sense. They watched too much Hollywood television after all, I guess.

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Grummer

I dont believe in marriages, its just a piece of paper to 'prove how happy you are in front everybody', but more sinister is that it is a deed to keep matrimony intact that is the society under dominance of males, and male oriented indoctrination which construct gender. It is also a clever excuse for lawyers to make of thousands even millions of other people's relationships.

As for 'adultery', it is not, when both parties are agreeing with this form of sexual relationship. Adultery occurs only when one side of the couple (or trio or quads -im sure there are multiple relationships somewhere - 2 males, 2 females, got to be lol,, besides this) commit secrecy which brings in the emotional element amounting to betrayal then yes this is adultery. I suppose if say 2 couples, 1 couple are married they enjoys swinging, and the other couple is traditional, when something happens between one of each comes together, the one commiting from the traditional relationship decide to keep under the radar ( and whether caught or not) then it is adultery for the one couple... dammit this is debatable too. I for one, wouldn't but then again I dont know, never been in a relationship because so I can't comment on how real the emotion impact of such when one cheats. But I can tell you i had several firsthand experiences with women married!, and or in relationship come forward to me , but everytime this happens I declined for that I dont wish to have a conscious to break somebody's else relationship. Even one time, it backfired! she hated me for an entire 10 years, Blaming me as so I insulted her!!, i simply didnt want to face the ramification of the aftermaths of her cheat (this was in a house with 30 people all high on pot and LSD). I was so wasted but i still knew this is a no-no. But thats because i dont know what or how THEY defined their relationship, it might be totally different if i was on the ship and happened to be AT a swinger's function *and practice safe sex is a must) then maybe i might think differently i dont know but i suppose all depends on the person and situation. Naive as i might sound, I still think alot of people dont 'like' the idea of open marriages, or so rather I thnk its more about people dont understand how it might work, perhaps , just perhaps for the next 3 generations (25-30 years from now) we might be alarmed to see the popularity of open relationships, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised, hell even 'open breeding' with special screening programs for disease control we just never know whats going to be around the corner in terms of technology and ethics....so far some of us probably have heard/read of such craziness evolving at a rapid rate.
i think id stop now, and leave that proverbial cyber 2 cents on the table.

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Hunter S Thompson

Maria

I guess, people just want more to go this far, but they tend to forget about the consequences.

Banjo

Try telling that to my parents, they've been married for 37 years and counting and so far, no signs of problems in the marriage. No, my father doesn't dominate the household. They share it together.

Although it should be mentioned that marriages isn't for everybody. For instance, you.

Reba

If that's how you feel, then perhaps you should stay single but that isn't how marriage is for many other couples.

"Dominance of males" is a very old fashioned concept for marriage. It sounds like some political rantings from 1960's feminists.

Marriage actually protects the legal rights of women, such as in cases of inheritance.

Lawyers get involved only when something goes wrong in a marriage. I've been married over 33 years, and the only time we've used lawyers was to draw up our wills, acquire a business, and for house closings.

Au contraire.

According to the definition entries at dictionary.com, adultery is:

"voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse."

I'm sorry you've had so many negative life experiences.


Three generations is more like 60 years but I get your point. Yes, our morals are changing with each decade, and not for the better.

shel90

See..u said, "not for the better.." Are you applying that for yourself or for society as a whole? Maybe others don't see it the way you to. Nowadays, women are more empowered so for me that's a better moral than back in the old days when women were considered as property of their husbands. Some people dont consider that a better moral for society.

Society changes but to say for the better or worse is all subjective.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Reba

Society as a whole is becoming more immoral and even amoral. It is evidenced by the fact that sin is not only overlooked, it is accepted as "OK." People since Adam and Eve have sinned but in moral societies the sins weren't accepted. In amoral societies, the whole sin concept gets tossed out, and an "anything goes" philosophy takes over. The same sins continue but they aren't called sins, just alternative life styles, personal choice, etc. Kind of like calling embezzlement "creative accounting." The act hasn't change, only the naming of it.

Chattel laws were legal concepts that varied from state-to-state, and country-to-country. Husbands were never supposed to treat their wives like property from a Biblical moral viewpoint.

Daredevel7

Really? Man, I must have read the Bible wrong.

Banjo

Keep in mind that the Bible is open to interpretations.

shel90

I agree..

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

shel90

Well, that's like comparing apples to oranges in my opinion cuz embezzlement can destroy innocent people's lives while open marriages are voluntary, meaning all the parties agree to participate unless someone is being forced at gunpoint. If so, then we can compare both situations.

To me, what people do behind doors has no direct influence on my life and it is basically none of my business anyway.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Daredevel7

Exactly.

Reba

Nothing about husbands treating wives like property.

Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

shel90

Submit to husbands...

Why cant the men submit to their wives?

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Reba

Because the husband submits to Christ. That's the chain of command, so to speak. It doesn't mean the husband is allowed to take advantage of the wife or abuse her in any way.

Don't miss this verse: "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

Also, the passage says that wives submit to their own husbands. That means, women don't have to submit to other men, such as in the business or political world.

Daredevel7

Wow.. you and I see this paragraph COMPLETELY differently....... Oh well, such is life isn't it?

Daredevel7

Who says that treating them like property means they treat them bad? Does a man treat his Porsche bad?

Reba

This is how a husband is supposed to treat his wife:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...."

Daredevel7

I'm sorry, what does that even mean? Too generic for me. Might as well say "Love your wives as the sun shines on Earth."

I don't meant to insult the Bible, but that's how it sounds to me.

Reba

The verse is very specific, not generic. It doesn't say, "Love your wives as the sun shines on Earth." It says to love your wife as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the people (who would become the body of the church) so much that he endured suffering and death for them. That means, a husband should be willing to endure suffering and death for his wife, if necessary.

souggy

*sighs*

Can we keep the Bible out of it? It all depends on what religion, what church doctrine you follow and what translation of the Bible is being used. Two different Bibles, equally just as important, can contradict each others depending on how the translator interprets the original words.

Anyway, my opinion of open marriage? I don't agree with it. I won't agree that humans are meant to be in monogamous relationship for life, but I do believe in monogamous relationship in regard for safety for both side of the relationship in regard to diseases, legal rights, unintended negative emotions and so on. So I may not settle down for life, but I won't go playing around with other people.

shel90

I agree with you about the Bible. Not everyone is entitled to follow it.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Babyblue

I agree.

Everyone is entitled to their beliefs.

If one do not like it. Don't do it.